


The book of love

by FeatherQuill



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Children, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 117
Words: 148,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4131943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatherQuill/pseuds/FeatherQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard Armitage is one of the most famous actors running around the world while Lee Pace owns a little bookstore in New York. Little does he know that both their lives are about to be turned upside down. - Heavily inspired by Notting Hill, totally AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Damn you, Jane Austen

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to be a bit on a roll with those guys, but hell I can't resist. So here it is, a multi chaptered AU , yet in progress. Comments and Feedback is always welcome :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard and Lee meet, the start of something new begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now in the proof read version, lots of love to my wonderful beta <3

Lee had always dreamt of something more to do with his life than balancing carefully on a ladder whilst stacking books.  
The thought came unbidden and ugly to his mind while he stared out the window of the little bookstore in New York. No, no - the little bookstore he didn't really want but none the less took over when his father felt too old to continue working. Lee had always been that one guy you had in your class that couldn't say no. It hadn't changed much in his adult life, so here he was.  
A sigh tore itself from his throat before he turned back to his orders. The forms mocked him as much as the carefully wrapped Jane Austen collection ready to be picked up by the customer that had ordered it.  
"Hey mate, what crawled up your arse and died there?"  
Usually he would have jumped a foot in the air, but nowadays not much could shock him. Not even the employees his father had left him with.  
"Jane Austen has, Martin."  
Martin just raised his eyebrows, chuckling before flopping down next to Lee beside the counter.  
"And you prefer a Mr. Darcy, well that's tough."  
Lee blushed a shade of purple that resembled the color of Martins tie and he would have said something if it wouldn't have been for the door opening with a jingle.  
With a smile he didn't really feel he cleared his throat, words already forming on the tip of his tongue before he stopped, trying his best not to laugh out loud.  
The man looked ridiculous with the baseball cap pulled down to his nose and his eyes hidden behind an overly large pair of sunglasses. Martin however hadn't said a word so far, which made Lee frown.  
"Welcome to Pace books, how can I help you?"  
He felt a bit uneasy whenever he dealt with customers, although he had gotten a lot better at that, or so he thought. His father had always been more of a talker then him, even if he had quite a passion for books. He had had other dreams, a thought quickly dismissed as the man on the other side of the counter looked at him.  
“I am awfully sorry, but I..."  
"Were you daydreaming a bit there?"  
An amused British voice asked him and Lee felt a flush appear on his cheeks.  
"Yes, guilty as charged, so - how may I help you?"  
His palms were sweaty and his heartbeat felt too loud in his ears.  
Save for the awful disguise, the man on the other side of the counter was quite handsome. Now, he wasn't exactly what was called a player but sometimes he felt so lonely. Pushing that thought aside too he tried to focus on the man who was talking to him again. Martin, curse him, had seized the first chance he found to dash off into the backroom.  
"The Austen Collection." A deep voice kindly reminded him that he now, for quite some time, had been standing there like a statue. Cursing under his breath, Lee clambered up the ladder and retrieved the books he had stored away. For once he was glad to be tall. Naturally, the clumsiness he also had in his body choose that moment to show up, causing him to lose his footing on the ladder and fall down with a blood curdling scream. Bracing for the pain, he closed his eyes, but it never came.  
The arms around his waist were strong, firmly keeping him from crumpling to the floor. His blush returned full force once he was able to see who had saved him, so to speak. The man had the bluest eyes he had ever seen and that smile, oh boy. The disguise must have come off when the guy had rounded the counter in order to save Lee from breaking his neck.  
"Now, you mustn’t kill yourself on the job for my account, although I have to say I am flattered."  
Clearing his throat, Lee disentangled himself from the man in front of him, smiling awkwardly before handing over the books. The encounter had left him somewhat shaken, even if he couldn't really figure out why.  
His question was yet again, as many questions were, answered by Martin who came storming in from the back, some sort of glossy gossip magazine in his hand that was all but slapped in his face.  
"I knew I had seen that git before!"  
Lee blinked owlishly, mouth opening and closing.  
"Huh?"  
Martin all but pulled at his short hair before flipping the pages of the magazine and pointing at a somewhat blurry picture of - Lee blinked again.  
"You want to tell me that one of the biggest movie stars of our century just came into my bookstore, caught me while I made an idiot of myself, and I didn't notice?"  
His voice was flat but Martin only nodded. It was then that the little bell over the door jingled and the man in question came in again.  
"Sorry, but I seem to have forgotten my glasses."  
It was said easily enough, with a reassuring smile that made Lee all but whimper before he reached for the glasses sitting beside the cash register.  
"Here you go"  
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Martin gesturing wildly, holding up a camera, which he ignored.  
"Thank you ever so much."  
Tall dark and handsome murmured right before grinning, placing the sunglasses on his nose again.  
"Look, I feel a little out of my depth, seeing as you not only had to order something for me that is hard to come by, but also nearly killed yourself over it."  
Lee laughed nervously while Martin snorted before giving up and putting the camera down.  
"So, dinner at eight tonight? God, where are my manners? My name's Richard."  
The hand gripping Lee’s own is warm and gentle, the grip firm.  
"Lee."  
He replies once he is able to speak again, before nodding. Nothing prepares him for the beaming smile, nor the peck to his cheek.  
"Wonderful. Well, I am afraid I have to go - pesky business and such, but I am glad you fell for me."  
It sounds teasing, also full of promise for something more that Lee doesn't want to dwell on yet.  
"Found your Mr. Darcy, I see?"  
Martin all but guffaws from the back and if Lee didn’t respect his books so much, he would have found a heavy volume to throw after him.


	2. Of Fastfood and shattered eardrums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a date and Richard drives not only Lee mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback so far :) I am glad that people enjoy my work and I am very thankful for that.

Graham felt a headache coming on before the call from Aidan came. He could never quite understand some things Richard did, hell he was just was his agent , not his mother - but that, well that was stupid.  
"He didn't."  
The Scot muttered over the line, extremely glad for numerous things all at once. The first thing he was glad for was that he had contacts to the press and some journalists were underpaid. Like Aidan, whom after a brief stint at the SUN had deceided to hit it big in the Big Apple. Unfortunely life wasn't a fairytale, which led to the fact whenever Graham needed eyes in New York watching Richard if he was there to begin with, the Irish journalist was glad to help. The other thing Graham was most thankful for, was the fact that he was sitting in London and couldn't give into the temptation to throttle Richard. Now, he loved Richard like a brother but Richard had never been partial to be social or easy.  
He didn't blame the man since he knew the press far too wel himself and didn't like the way most journalists worked, but there were just moments you had to take it, simple as that. Smile and wave, go on with your life.  
"He went to a bookstore, and from the looks of it, that wasn't only for books."  
Aidan smirked down at his camera, showing Richard holding another guy in what appeared to be a little more than just a friendly embrace. It wasn't that he liked going behind peoples backs , but he had to pay his rent, no matter how dirty his work seemed to some people. Sure enough he deleted the pictures anyway, sighing dramatically. He practically could hear Dean groan about his too big heart already.  
Graham on the other hand found it to be the perfect opputurnity to nurse his best Whiskey straight from the bottle. Richard didn't pull many publicity stunts, being mostly to shy for the things some other actors did but none the less, everything he did was being watched since he became famous. Shaking his head, Graham prayed that everything would work out like it always did.  
Richard , miles away and not knowing that he was ratted out for having his first date since that spectacular almost marrige desaster three years prior, hummed. Lee was pleasant enough and the suggestion from the younger man that the two of them go for hot dogs instead of heading to a more noble location surprised him although it wasn't a unpleasant one.  
Lee grinned around his hotdog, cheeks dimpling.  
"I must say I wouldn't have pecked you for an Austen fan, Richard"  
Richard blushed, swallowing around a bite, clearing his throat.  
"Oh that was for my niece, she is awfully fond of that rubbish."  
He grimaced a bit which lead to Lee laughing heartily and Richard feels something flutter inside if him. Something that he knows is wrong in many levels, because he isn't just a third grade drama student anymore but the man who had won an Acadamy Award last year. Sometimes he wishes none of that would have happened. The dark frown on his face didn't go unnoticed by Lee who leant over the table -touching Richards hand carefully.  
"Did I say something wrong?"  
Shaking his head, Richard looked at the hand lightly resting on his. It wasn't often he met someone taller than him or for that matter someone honestly interested in him for himself and not the fame.  
"No, sorry, just overthinking."  
He would have said something more if it hadn't been for the gaggle of teenage girls letting out earshattering screams loosely based around the words 'Oh my god' Lee watched in fascination as pictures were taken, arms and other bodyparts sighned before they throtted off.  
"Wow. That was loud."  
Lee says unnessesarily, rubbing gingerly at his ear.  
"You get used to it."  
Richard says dryly and sighs. Things like that remind him of just how much his world has turned. Looking at the man sitting opposite him he knows that there proably will be pictures, once they are discovered, headlines and lies made up to sell magazines and a guy like Lee, no a guy like that doesn't deserve that, no matter how lovely he was.  
"Look , that was a bad idea.."  
He says at the same time as Lee speaks up  
"No, please it wasn't.."  
The bottle of ketchup sitting between is knocked over by Lee, staining the once pristine white shirt Richard is wearing.  
" Oh god, I am such a klutz!"  
The American all but shouts, hastily grabbing napkins, dabbing at the stains without much of success . The laugh rumbling in Richards chest doesn't help much either and finally Lee gives up, slumping back in his chair. Why could nothing ever go according to plan? Wait - did he even have a plan?  
Groaning in defeat with his hands placed over his eyes he nearly misses Richard paying and giving him a look. That look, Lee knows, is something he should run from. Deep and penetrating, promising a lot more than just a date. A look that will cause heartache the alarmed voice in his head, sounding much like Luke, reminds him. Luke, who is one of his oldest friends and so much more rational.  
Unbeknownst to Lee, Richard fights a battle on his own. The actor hadn't intended to go back to the bookstore, hell he could have bought an entire rack of new sunglasses but that smile and those big eyes he couldn't really put a color to had drawn him back there. Also the feeling of another person in his arms after being alone for so long had felt incredible, however hilarious the circumstances. The next sentence leaving his mouth is one sure to cause Graham a stroke, but he doesn't care. Not at all.  
"I am staying at the Savoy."  
Richard hears himself say to Lee and Lee grins broadly before standing and rounding on Richard.  
"Well then."  
He says, clicking his heels and holding out his arm for Richard to take.  
"Well then."  
Richard echoes and feels that flutter in his stomach again. Everything else could go to hell as far as he was concerned.


	3. Kisses in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kisses are shared but friends and other things get in the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :D   
> So here is the third chapter and once again I´d like to thank you for your kind feedback <3

The cool air of the New York spring sobers Richard up a bit, but not enough to stop himself from going the way he is on. He was never the kind of guy to back down from a challange, always pushing himself to the egde and sometimes over it.   
He didn´t know Lee and maybe that was better. A stranger. The voice that sounded so much like his mother back home gave a tutting noise before it reminded him that you don´t talk to strangers or invite them to your hotel room.   
Hailing a cab his gaze wanders to Lee, eyes not straying from the man in front of him while his mouth runs away with half finished thoughts, feelings rising in his chest he shouldn´t let out after godforsaken hot dogs.   
„How did you come by the bookstore?“  
His own voice asks while they clamber into the cab, both to long-legged to sit in comfort but enduring. Lees eyes are bright when he looks into the night, shoulders hunched and Richard wants to kick himself for asking. Wasn´t a One Night Stand all he wanted? You didn´t ask such things, but yet again his mouth kept spilling out words into the world without his consent.   
„If you don´t mind me asking, you don´t have to answer me but riding in a cab is always so...well.“  
He flails with his hands a bit making Lee smile a little before he turns his too bright gaze from the window.   
„You know, that bookstore was my parents life. My mom did everything she could to pull through, even in hard times and my dad, well – some people say that he loved those books more than he ever loved my mother. I know it´s a lie, I was there, you know.“  
The breath he takes in is long and painful, catching in his throat before his lips form a thin line and he stops talking alltogether.  
„I am sorry.“  
Richard replies automatically. Lee glares.  
„Everyone always is.“  
Shaking his head he tries to give Richard a smile, dismissing the foul mood with a wave of his hand.

„Dad owned it until he was to sick to work and my sister isn´t much for books, has a family of her own. I don´t. So what was there left to do?“  
Shrugging he takes another of those painful deep breaths you need to survive a painful memory. Lee does have a good dozen of them, neatly stored in his chest.   
„What is your adress?“  
Richard says out of the blue causing Lee to frown. Wonderful, he blew it. A movie star wants to whisk him off to his bed and he, who hadn´t gotten laid in over a year snaps at the guy. Martin would have a field day with that. With a sigh he tells Richard that he has lived his whole life in the flat over the bookstore and now lives there alone while his father moved to a retirement home.   
The rest of the cab ride is spent in awkward silence. Silence is the only thing Lee greets when he steps onto the pavement, giving an unmanly squeak once a hand touches his shoulder. Richard doesn´t say a word, just smiles at him before he leanes in, planting an almost chaste kiss on Lees lips before pulling away.  
„I didn´t mean to upset you, sorry for that.“  
The blush surprises Lee although he has to admit it is cute. His heart beats far to loud in his chest, like before when he had first laid eyes on the actor. Without knowing that a celebrity was in front of him. His work didn´t allow him to follow the gossip much and frankly he didn´t care.  
„I didn´t mean to snap at you, sorry for that.“  
The taller man replies easily, almost imitating the tone Richard had used, making the Brit chuckle low in his throat. Be brave, he tells himself before stepping forward, initiating the second kiss. It is slow but not sweet. Full of longing that leaves both of them breathless and laughing. Fumbling with the keys it takes Lee about three minutes to unlock the door and cursing, all the while fending of Richard who is trying to give him another kiss. Not that he would terribly mind but public displays of Sex is not what he has in mind.   
They stumble up the stairs, without grace or much though when Richard suddenly stops in his movements, turns Lee around in his arms and pushes him against the nearest door.   
„Let me look at you.“  
He insists, voice rough and tinted by desire, mixed with the sadness that this will be all they proably will ever have. Lee is no fool, he knows things like that, when you look at someone the way they look at each other, it leads to crashing and burning. Also he doesn´t care, because Richard is warm against him, smelling of a cologne he remembers is more worth than a monthly income some people have. The kisses pressed against his jaw are gentle yet longing. He feels it thrumming in his body, that desire for more more more and never stop please. Richard isn´t unaffected either, he can feel it by the way the older man trembles against him while his hands roam over a broad back.   
Everything stops with the turning of a key and Richard freezing in his arms. It takes Lee a few moments to clear his lust dazed brain as a voice he is achingly familiar with drifts up the stairs.   
„Hey mate.“ The disembodied voice of Martin drifts up the stairs towards them and he feels Richard shake in silent laughter, ketchup stained shirt half over his head while Martin drones on about having to crash here a bit, because for the life of it he can´t go back home tonight smelling like a brewery.   
Lee isn´t prone to violence, he really isn´t. Dimly he remembers the one time back in his childhood he had a brawl and that ended with a bloody nose and a stern talking to by his mother. Right now though he wishes he would have watched more movies like Rambo or Rocky for inspiration. Martin, ever clueless sways up the stairs to Lees private rooms above the bookstore, gives them both an crosseyed look before he nods.  
„Good on you getting a nice buggering, makes you less broody!“  
Is all that leaves the shorter mans mouth as he pushes past an practically howling Richard and falls face first down on Lees couch.   
„I must say, you do have interesting friends.“  
The shade Lee blushes is close to crimson. Stumbling over his words he is cut of by a pair of lips on his own.

„No worries.“   
He says lightly, stripping off his shirt comepletey, tossing it at Lee who promptly catches it.   
„However, I will not go back to the Savoy tonight.“  
It isn´t even a question, Lee realises startled a few minutes later, rummaging through his closet for something that Richard can wear while his shirt is in the laundry. When he returns to his bedroom he finds Richard sprawled on his bed and grins like a madman.   
„Stop staring and come over here. If we don´t get any further, the last you could do is try and comfort me. You know, me being wounded in my pride because of the way things turned out and such.“  
Richard isn´t prepared for the pout that is thrown his way, nor the slightly mocking tone.   
„Aw, you poor thing. We mustn´t let the famous Mr.Armitage wait, now must we?“  
It is all the warning Richard gets before Lee jumps into the bed next to him.   
„So.“  
The American says bright eyed and mischievious.   
„Do you know any good bedtime stories?“  
„A few.“   
Richard smiles, wrapping his arms around Lee. It is then that he realises with slight horror that this could turn out to be more.   
„I am waiting.“   
Lee sing-songs, and Richard couldn´t care less if he is about to do something really stupid like falling in love again.


	4. Breakfast and Spotlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have breakfast and the press can´t stay away while Martin can´t keep his mouth shut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter. Thanks again for the lovely feedback, it means a lot to me :)

The morning sun is what wakes Lee up and he cannot for the life of it help the grin that spreads over his face when he nudges Richard. Their plans had been harpooned, granted but he didn´t mind. Maybe it was better the way it turned out. 

„Hey.“  
He tries after the moment he always needed to come to his senses in the morning. There is an unfamilar sound that makes him frown a bit before he realises that it is the phone the other man had put on the bedside table the other night. 

„Hey. I need to answer that.“  
It sounds apologetically although Lee just nods, whispering promises of breakfast into Richards hair on his way out of the bedroom, humming all the way into the kitchen. 

„So, you did the donkey?“  
Friends were a blessing and most of all they were a curse when you thought of it long enough. Like Martin. He liked Martin, had known him for almost ten years now and the way he behaved didn´t bother him usually. Grinding his teeth he slams down the coffee more forcefully than he should.  
„No. We talked. Like you should have done to your wife.“  
It is a low blow but honestly, right now at quarter to six in the morning he simply isn´t in the mood for jokes about his love life or the lack of it.  
„Wow, that was harsh.“  
Of course it was. Richard isn´t a ray of sunshine either in the first light of morning, especially when the first words he got to hear were that there would be duties he had and that he shouldn´t forget that his reason for being in New York wasn´t jumping into bed with anyone he thought suitable but to promote his newest movie.  
The movie he hadn´t enjoyed making because most of the cast members were underpaid idiots who wanted to impress him with their skill and failed on a scale he didn´t even bother to mention towards Graham. Slouching into the kitchen he cleared his throat, looking at Lee. Martin takes that as his cue to leave without saying anything which means that Lee will have to apologize later. Much later, the little devil on his shoulder tells him as he automatically serves Richard a cup of coffee. Richard is polite though , takes a sip of the bitter brew before pushing the cup as far away from him as possible.  
„I really would like to see you again. I mean that – doesn´t matter what you read about me.“  
He always adds that, knows his reputation that is spread through the newspapers. Lee stills in his prepartions of breakfast, turning.  
„You know, if it weren´t for Martin I wouldn´t have known who you were in the first place. Well, good looking and charming but not much more.“  
Richard grins around the cigarette he shouldn´t smoke.  
„Good looking and charming, eh?“  
Lee blushes but nods, striding over to Richard and ridding him of the cigarette. 

„Yes. No smoking in the house.“  
„Yes mother.“  
Richard replies automatically, grinning from ear to ear, informing Lee that he will have to attend a press conference later that day at the Savoy. Graham is proably on his way over the pond already, judging from the texts he got the previous night but ignored with a passion  
„I hate those things. Those people lying in your face about liking you and your work when all they really want to do is see you fail.“  
He isn´t insecure about his work most of the time, just the reactions of the press and that it won´t be questions soley concering the movie. Being famous has a prize, he knows that well enough since that incident he doesn´t want to talk about.  
„You don´t have to always see the worst in people. The way you talk about your job, you know maybe it isn´t the thing you really want to do?“  
Lee asks hesitantly, shoving a plate with sandwiches at Richard who is taken aback at the question and the action itself. Sitting down heavily he sighs, looking at somewhere behind Lee.  
„No. I enjoy acting. It is just the other things that come with it sometimes make me go nuts. When they don´t let my private life be what it is you know.“  
Lee doesn´t with being a salesman and not a hot shot celebrity as he dryly tells Richard around the bite of a sandwich. There isn´t much more talking for the next twenty or so minutes as suddenly the doorbell rings and Richard tenses in alarm. Lee seizes the opputurniny to lay a reasurring hand on top of Richards.  
„Relax, it is proably Martin asking me to apologize to him for being a dick.“  
They smile at each other a moment and Lee wants to joke about it all when he opens the front door, a sentence already forming on the top of his lips that he won´t apologize for being rude because he has learned it from Martin when a bright flash momentarily blinds him. There are voices, a ton of them and he doesn´t understand one single word, can´t filter what they say. White noise comes rushing at him from all sides accompanied by the steady click of cameras. 

„Are you Richard Armitages new love interest?“  
Is thrown at him from somewhere on his left, then from the front.  
„O´ Gorman, People Magazine. Do you know that Mr.Armitage already has been rumored to marry? What about his reputation of being a player?“  
Lees gazes zoomes in on the blond man in front of him. No he didn´t know, he didn´t want to know those things. He had enjoyed the past day and what of it if he dreamt a bit, strayed farther than a quick romp in the hay. His eyes sting and his slack jawed expression hinders him from repyling anything at all.  
It is then that Richard appears at his side, eyes full of fire and disgust. He had known that he had been spotted and really, it was something he was used to. But Lee, shy and bashful Lee didn´t deserve the stamp they wanted to plant on his persona. He wouldn´t let it happen to have the man who was shaking at his side branded as a whore. That was what they would do, even if O´ Gorman and Turner were more decent, the others were not. It was their job, he mused , to ruin his life.  
More heart than thought, that had always been his problem. The rational part of his brain suggested to just slam the door, cause a camera or two to break but it wouldn´t be a solution to the problem at hand. The none rational part of his brain wins out as he slings a hand around a frozen Lee, dipping him at the waist and slamming their mouths together in a heated kiss. Lee holds on automatically, fisting Richards hair to the steady clicking noises and a few wolf whistles.  
„Now go away and write your crap! “  
He gets out between clenched teeth and finally slams the door. Blissfull silence greets them when they are in the kitchen once again although he would prefer Lee to say something, anything at all. Lee, however just blinks, mouth opening and closing, so Richard takes over.  
„Well at least we weren´t naked.“  
Richard tries pointing at the shirt he had borrowed the previous night from Lee. He starts to worry a bit when Lee still doesn´t say anything. He is wide eyed and pale, moves around Richard in the search of his coffee cup.  
It is all Richard can do to catch him moments before the coffee cup hits the floor as Lee faints.


	5. Friends, tears and  the press

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is fighting and making up. Yep that sums it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter. :) Enjoy - and thanks again for all the lovely feedback

It takes Lee an hour or so to come to and he is awoken by the sounds of people shouting. Not some people as his brain helpfully supplies. One of the voicea he recognizes is Lukes. Dimly he rembers the other man calling him the week before wanting to drop by for some catching up. Timing was never Lukes strong suit he wagers. His head is hurting and his hands still shake in rememberence of the things which happened in the last two hours. Touching his lips gingerly a faint tingle reminds him of the knee weakinging kiss he received , causing a dopey smile to appear on his face. Richard, he realizes with horror, must be the one not to only have carried him to his bed but also the owner of the second enraged voice.  
Quickly standing and regretting it instanly he flops down on the bed again. How on earth was this his life all of sudden. Trying for a second time to stand Lee finally manages to do so bounding into the kitchen. On any other day he would have laughed about the absurdity of it all. Luke, for all the world looked like he wanted to stab Richard with the fork he was wielding accusingly in his gand.  
"You don't know anything about me, what gives you the right to judge!"  
Richard hollers at Luke over the dismissed plate of sandwhiches. Luke just chuckles darkly.  
"No, others do that already, don't they?"  
He doesn't even give Richard the chance to take a breath before going on with his yelling. Richard gives back as good as he gets. It is like a trainwreck, Lee cannot stop watching from his spot in the doorway. He feels frozen, shocked that whatever might come next will be something he doesn't want to hear.  
"Yes, they do. They do every single day of my life, wether I kiss someone or take a piss, it doesn't matter."  
It is something in those words that causes Lees eyes to tear up. They haven't even slept together but it still hurts to hear such harsh words, no matter if they are out of context. His shaky breath is audible, making Richard turn towards Lee. The actor curses under his breath, pushung past Luke after a rapidly moving Lee. Even though they have nearly the same height Richard doesn't reach Lee before the younger man closes the bedroom door behind himself.  
"Lee, please -"  
He tries, Luke hot on his heels.   
"Go away, you made pretty clear what you think of him, didn't you?"  
The sob reaching his ears makes Richard close his eyes, wrenches at something in his chest and makes him want to wish he never would have made it bigger than a stage in Leichester. He liked Lee, genuily liked him and like always when his emotions got the better of him it all came out wrong. That was the sole curse of his excistence. Pressing his forehead against the cool wood of the door he shuts out Luke who is tugging at his wrist to make him move but he won't budge . Fumbling for a business card he quickly scribbles his private number on it, pushing it under the door. Shaking off Luke he glares at the other man , directing his words at the closed door, trying not to feel ridicilous.  
"I know it sounds idiotic but I like you and I am sorry if I caused you hurt. It wasn't meant like that." His heart feels heavy when there is not much of a reply to words. He curses his stupid mouth, freezing once the door is wrenched open and strong arms pull him in. Luke is left standing flabbergasted in the spot moments before occupied by Richard.   
Lees eyes are red, Richard noticies but he isn't crying anymore, that at least gives him a tad of satusfaction..  
"Sorry, that was childish but the entire morning was a bit much and when I heard you talk to Luke like that I kind of lost it."  
Lee admits sheepishly, ducking his head. Richard hasn't said a word so Lee is starteld when a hand cups his cheek and a finger brushes away stray tears.  
"You don't have to be sorry, I should have known they would eventually find me. I dragged you into this by thinking with my crotch first and now.. bloody hell."  
He is dimly aware of Luke yelling something through the once again closed door but ignores it, taking the taller mans face in between his hands, pulling Lee down so their noses brush.  
"What I don't regret, is meeting you. By god I wish it would have been different but I can't change who I am. I .."  
He stops, unsure of how to go on. Lee kisses him after a moment of silence, smiling through wet eyes.  
"You are horrible at apologizing."  
A chuckle leaves Richard at that, fingers idly playing with Lees hands.  
"I have been told so once or twice in my life. What I meant to say is, if you don't mind, would you come with me to that bloody press conference and later up to my room, so we can talk in private?"  
Talking isn't what is on Lees mind right now and surely not the only thing Richard means, or at . None the less he nods, stealing another kiss from Richard, letting go only once Richard regretfully informs that he will have to leave soon.   
"I best follow you in my own car in a bit, so there won't be a repeat performance of this morning."  
Lee smiles wryly, Richard agrees. It is smarter that way, especially if they really will do something more than talk later he would prefer it to be without cameras. He leaves with a last,longing kiss that Lee gladly returns, stepping back only to breathe. Luke lets Richard pass without saying a word, looking at Lee dead on once they are alone.  
"This time around I won't pick up the pieces Lee. I love you like a brother, but you are stubborn and always let your heart rule over your head, getting hurt in the process. I don't want to see that again."  
Lee flushes, knowing that on some level Luke is right. Still, he can't help feeling giddy. The last breakup had been a mess and while the little voice in his head tells him that Richard and him aren't even together he ropes Luke into driving him to the Savoy after locking up the store. When his heart won out, he was invested fully, Luke knows that, too.   
They stop at a red light and it seems a little like a warning he ignores. Luke is too quiet, angry at him, he knows but he has already made a decision.  
"Be smart Lee. He is an actor and you are not. I was there today and I worry about you, a lot."  
Luke tries again, Lee huffs and ignores his friend. The silence stretches all the way into the hotel lobby which is thankfully still mostly empty except for a few stray people bustling around. When Lee sees Richard ,the blue eyed man is talking to what appears to be his manager and doesn't look pleased at all. None the less the guy walks over to them, looking Lee up and down, nodding.  
"Well, at least he is giving me a stroke for somebody decent. So, you okay with that,lad?"  
There are ten question marks appearing on his face which proably show. He can see his own face in a wall lenght mirror as Richard strides over, tucking him to his side and Grahan thwacks him over the back of his head, adding to the Americans confusion.  
" I am having this nightmare, you know. The one everyone in showbuiss shits their pants over."  
Luke, still standing beside Lee grimaces and Lee can't really blame him.   
"Beg your pardon?Richard what is going on here?"  
Clearing his throat , Richard starts but stops. Luke crosses his arms over his chsst shaking his head.  
"I am off. Call me if you need anything, yes?"  
With that he is gone in a flash and Lee feels a little betrayed and really nervous. Graham has that air about him and he can't blame Richard for flinching now and then under the penetrating gaze. Graham is unfazed.  
"You know, lad, the kind of nightmare were your most famous, yet most stubborn client tells you that you should prepare a statement he wants to date the guy he met two days ago and caught him falling of a ladder. That he means it.  
The arm around his waist tightens and startled Lee notices that Richard shakes at his side. Oh he knows a challenge when he sees one like the one in Grahams eyes.  
"Well, fuck it if that is a nightmare for you. I find it romantic"  
He hears himself say, proud that his nerves didn't run away with him. The air seems to be sucked out of the room until Graham laughs and Richard slumps into his side.  
"You know Rich, maybe you are right. That One is a keeper."


	6. Status - boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The press conference, surprises are revealed - well, for poor Graham, that is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :D I cannot thank you enough for all the lovely feedback. It means a lot to me :)

Dean watches as the room fills with the journalists. He has been on so many of those dreaded events, he isn´t able to count them anymore, nor does he care. Hell, he sometimes goes there for the food only – or for Aidan, he thinks with a grin his thoughts far away before the photographer bumps into his side.   
„Hey there.“  
He simply grins, accepting the quick peck, turns back to the rapidly filling seats. This morning he would have thought that the whole thing Armitage pulled of was another publictiy stunt, all to well remembering the whole marrige disaster. If he was quite fair, it had been part to the agent the actor since had fired, still it wasn´t forgotten and gladly the press feasted on it, even if three years had passed.   
„Hey.“  
Aidan says, camera poised mid air, eyes focused on something Dean first doesn´t notice. In the very back of the room stands Richard Armitage, smiling. As if that wouldn´t be a wonder in itself for Dean he notices that he is holding the hand of the bookdealer from the morning.   
„You know, that doesn´t seem like a stunt.“  
„No, it doesn´t.“  
Dean has to admit, because he knows genuine feelings when he sees them, has a trained eye for that sort of thing. Aidan snaps a few pictures of the couple and sighs dramatically.  
„Young love, do you remember when we looked at each other like that?“  
Dean rolls his eyes good naturally, in the mood to joke  
„Yes, twenty years ago, when we were still young and now all we do together is knit.“  
„Oh, shut it O´Gorman.“  
Aidan grins, whistling before pinching Deans but in passing and Dean curses, woeing slightly to repay the other man in kind once they are alone.   
Richard on the other hand sighs, gearing up to the questions at hand. He feels old and his head hurts already from the flashes but he manages to throw Lee a smile before he sits behind the table that is the only thing seperating them from the press. It has the atmosphere of a circus, although the popcorn is missing – a thought that makes him want to chuckle, though nothinh of it shows on his face. The questions about the movies are all the same. He doesn´t even bother to look more friendly when some blonde female reporter, full of ambitions asks him if he could ever fall in love at a movie set. Lee watches in rapt attention from the sidelines, fighting the urge to cover his ears and by god what right does he have to act like that, or to lay claim on Richard. But he wants to, he knew the moment they first kissed, knew even more so when he talked to Graham.   
He knows that it is proably the craziest thing he has ever done but rational thinking, well Mr.Pace, he thinks to himself - you have missed that train by a long shot. Out of the corner of his eye he catches movement, noting with some annoyence it is the guy from the morning, asking about marriage and thinks he doesn´t really remember because he lost some of his memory due to his fainting. Clearing his throat, Dean looks at him with somewhat close to an apology once they are standing next to each other.  
„Look, man about this morning..“  
„No, please. I haven´t got the nerve to talk to you right now.“   
Lee hates that he almost begs the journalist to leave him , but his nerves are raw because he knows what will come next. They talked about it, and it feels rushed although on the other hand he is sure.   
„I know.“  
Richard starts, looking at him over the sea of people, eyes never leaving his face. Richard wants to give him courage and hope that this can work. Whatever this is, because it feels like a dream, fuzzy at the edges but so good you never want to wake from it.   
„That there yet again have been rumours about my lovelife.“   
It sounds very business like, though Lee knows it has to sound like that for the press, hanging on to every word.   
„And I have to say that I would have very much liked to keep it private a bit longer, but some people just can´t let it rest, now can they?“  
There is a mocking smile on his face that makes the hairs on the back of Lees neck stand up straight even if he understand quite well why Richard reacts that way. He himself fainted for god´s sake.   
„However, there is someone I genuily like, as you have seen this morning.“  
Lee blushes as the crowd roars with laughter, slinking back into the shadows. Where was the hole in the ground you needed it? It never appeared on time, it seems.  
„As of yet I do not want to wish to discuss this further -we are here for a movie, after all but I can state that I am very happy and like to stay in New York longer than I have orignially planned.“  
Graham, sitting next to him still as stone nearly chokes on his water. Bless Richard for not telling him that. Lee just grins in mirth for some reason, can´t help feel like a giddy boy on Christmas Eve.   
„How long you plan on staying then?“  
Dean says from somewhere next to Lee, actually interested. It surprises himself.   
„A month.“  
Graham counts to ten, before going on until he has reached a thousand, taking deep calming breaths. Richard orignially should have been in London three days ago, which Graham had let slide – graciously, he thought. Now this, this they would have to talk about – without cameras and prying ears.   
The questions go back to the movie then and Lee startels as another man – a photographer, he notices, slaps him heartily on the back.  
„Good luck man, you seem to have done quite a number on the git.“  
Lee blushes three different shades of red.   
„Well, all I did was fall of a ladder.“  
He replies in a serious tone, making the smaller man chuckle who links arms with the reporter that had talked to him earlier, when leaving. His attention, however – is rapidly caught by Richard coming over to him, Graham in tow.   
„I hope you are not going to faint again.“   
The Brit all but purrs, making Lee roll his eyes.   
„That was the shock of having thirty cameras shoved in your face when your hair sticks up..oh god I   
won´t even go there right now. No.“  
Richard just laughs and Lee can´t blame him, even if it is at his expanse. His thoughts are a mess because they are moving at break neck speed into something they both still can´t put a finger on, but Lee is willing to try.  
„Look, if you stay a month, you won´t stay here, or?“  
Chewing his bottom lip, he groans inwardly as just how hopeful that sounds, feeling relieved once Richard shakes his head, turning to Graham. Grahm would very much like to give in the need to cry about how this is all going way to fast, way too soon but keeps silent. He knows Richard better than that.  
„I arrange for your things being send to his address.“  
Lee smirks a bit when Richard hugs Graham over entusiastically before letting go, turning towards him again.

„I should update my Facebook then, shouldn´t I?“   
The American can´t help the little jibe when he tells Richard about changing his relationship status, astounded as he gets a answer he didn´t really expect.  
„Good idea.“  
So, he recollects. Not even three days ago he was single, not having a concern in the world but his bookstore while now he was the boyfriend of an rather famous actor.   
„Stop grinning like that. Your face might stay like that.“  
He hears Richard say from beside him, their arms linked again.   
„Not a chance, boyfriend.“  
Lee replies easily enough.


	7. A man with needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let there be smut, she says. And silly couple things combined with serious talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annndd here we are again :D Thank you guys so much for reading, commenting and liking my little story.

Richard often considers himself a man who blew a lot of chances in his life, so he comes right to the point when it concerns Lee in his not so sunny thoughts, after the press conference. Lee has left a little over an hour ago, having a normal job and a normal life he has to tend to, he is none to gently reminded by Graham who looks at him in the dim light of the hotel suite as if he wants to eat him. You know, like a tiger wants to devour its prey, but the Scotsman doesn´t talk, just nurses the Whiskey that became his good friend in the last week or so.   
„You know what pisses me off Rich?“  
Graham tells him in a voice that brooks no argument, leaves no room for answering a question that is just the opening line for something more. Much more, the actor realises, sitting down heavily in an armchair.   
„It pisses me off that I thought, to this very moment I would be your bloody friend and not some ass kissing agent who fluffs your pillow at night. And yet, you threat me like that. Stay a month here? Fine by me, but I would have loved to know that before those idiots down there.“

Richard is stunned into silence, flinches when Graham stands and begins pacing in front of him he fears there will be a hole in the carpet once the other man stops.   
„You didn´t ever kiss my ass.“  
It is meant as a joke but it falls painfully flat as Graham just glares before going on with his triade.   
„No, and I fucking will not ever do it as long as you behave like a spoiled twat. Other than that, did you even think about the poor boy? I mean, come on, he isn´t much more than a boy, with a shitload of stuff he needs to take care of. And you waltz into his life and think, honestly think you will not end up running off when things get serious? Come on.“  
Something snaps in Richard. Yes, Graham was his friend, undoubtly his best one in the world and there weren´t many others he would trust to the degree he trusted Graham, but this, this was too much. It cuts him deeply and it shows in the rage displayed in his features.  
„Yes, I thought about it. I thought about it when I got back into that bookstore and looked at him, really looked at him. When I saw the way he looked at me and realised he wasn´t like those wankers at the – and I might quote you here McTavish – delightful parties. You know, those things were people just get pissed and high and I have to smile although I want to throw up over my shoes.“  
Graham, to his credit doesn´t step back or leave. The sound leaving his throat is all but growl.   
„You don´t get to play that card. You have entirely yourself to blame for the past that nearly ruined your life.“   
Throwing his arms in the air and standing Richards face contorts as he barks out a laugh that lacks any humour.   
„I know what I did, I was there.“  
Grahams face is red when he slams down his empty glass on an poor side table so forcefully it nearly shatters.  
„What is different with him, then?“

An image of Lee, peacefully asleep next to him before the whole press disaster happened flashes unbidden yet bright before his inner eye. Were he was loud before, he answers without hesitation.  
„I love him. I am in love with him and I cannot, will not give a reason for that ..“  
God, he feels like he is a teenager again, talking to his mum about the birds and bees, feeling ready to cry. Ironically the sky chooses that moment to break open and release pouring rain. Graham says nothing for a moment, nodding after a while.   
„Then go to him. Tell him that. We can talk later.“  
„Graham..“  
„Don´t Graham me, move your lazy arse to the guy who turned your head so much your own folks wouldn´t recognize it right now.“   
Graham smiles warmly now, shaking his head once again. Lee was still mauling the fact over that he now had a boyfriend and even if the thought made him giddy, there was the little nagging voice that reminded him of his father who as yet of had to be told what was going on. His father, momentarily staring at him from his place on the sofa in quiet disbelieve.   
„So, there will be pictures of you..kissing. In a magazine.“  
Pace Senior inhales shakily at the thought, quietly thinking that he might have done something wrong in his up bringing before dismissing the ridicilous train of thought. Lee nods, cupping the pot of coffee in his suddenly freezing hands, gaze flickering to the window. The rain hasn´t lessened for a while since he left the Savoy and came to talk to his dad. His dad wasn´t that surprised, nor did he say anything harsh. Which Lee was grateful for, although the child issue came up – and went away because Lee suggested that him and Richard could, should it become more serious – first get a dog. Maybe adopt later. Not that he rushed into things, no sir.   
„Well, I guess it is good for the business, you know being with a celebrity.“  
Lee has to smile while simultaneosly rolling his eyes. Smirking, his father shakes his head.  
„What? You know me, besides, the way you hang on to your cold coffee, you want to go to that man, right?“  
Blushing, Lee nods but stands and after a hearty goodbye, he makes his way back to the store in record time , mildly surprised to find Richard in front of it ,cursing.   
„Oh, I didn´t know you would be back already..“  
Lee stops when Richard plants a kiss on his lips and unlike the first time, or in the morning it isn´t rushed and certainly not for show. Pushing the actor slightly away, Lee looks him up and down, eyes serious.   
„Richard, what happened? I mean aside that it all happening very fast between us.“  
Running a hand through his hair, Richard gives a rueful smile, blushing slightly before trying to explain the myrid of emotions he feels.  
„You know, how in those chick flicks you Americans like so much.“  
He starts, making Lee gasp in mock outrage, still the taller mans eyes twinkle.   
„Hey!“  
„Sorry. Well in those flicks, you know – there is this guy, walking, say into a bookstore and he sees another guy. The other guy, well -he is a bit clumsy but quite charming. Tall as hell..“  
They are soaked to their skin now, Lee doesn´t mind. Not one bit. His heartbeat is drumming in his ears while he motions for Richard to go on, listening closely, lips parted. He hopes this will turn out the same direction his feelings are leading him. Hopes so much.  
„Well, you see – they look at each other and..they eventually fall in love right there, without firstly realising it.There are obstacles, of course and annoying friends and all that.“  
Lee laughs. It makes his eyes crinkle when he finally stops the blue eyed man from his rambling, pulling him into a long , tongue dominated kiss. He is breathless and downright panting once he finds the way to step back, clearing his throat.  
„You know, as crazy as it sounds – I love you, too. Damn if this isn´t what all those awful movies are made about, I don´t know what it is.“  
His eyes darken, nearly black, hand reaching out to take Richards in his, he seals their lips one more time turning around regretfully to lead them inside. This time there is no disturbence as they climb the stairs, only hushed words , noises of desire and want. Promises of things to come.   
„I do. Love you.“  
Richard says hoarsely, ridding Lee of his shirt, eyes zooming in on the splatter of freckles on his shoulders. His lips attach themself to those little dots, making Lee moan. A sound he files away instantly to his favourite ones, grinning and pushing Lee onto the bed they somehow made it to without noticing solely focused on each other. What the heart wants flits through Richards head and he lets out a low, throaty chuckle.   
Lee throws him a sultry look, tongue wetting dry lips.   
„Well then, make love to me. I am a man with needs.“  
It comes out like a chroak but it doesn´t matter to Richard who all but pounces, cursing the invention of belts. He hisses in frustration, letting out a grunt as Lee turns them, standing and kicking off his jeans, eyes even darker.   
He rocks his boxer clad hips sinfully against Richards clad groin, tearing a groan from his soon to be lover, eyes hooded and with fluttering lashes. It takes him a moment to recollect his voice, hands pressed down besides Richards head, pouting a little for effect.   
„There are just a few things you should know about me.“  
Lee whispers into an ear temptingly close to his lips, giving the lobe a nibble. The body beneath his jerks up, making them both groan in response.   
„What could that be?“  
Richard, to his credit manages, hands clutching Lees butt in a brusing grip.  
„First, I hate it when I am the only One who is bare ass naked. Second. I like to top from the bottom sometimes. And sweets.“  
The last thing is added as an afterthought but Richard gets the hint,gently shoving Lee from his lap, undressing in a hurry. Dignity and patience have left the room together now, never to return. With as much grace as he can muster, he climbs back into the bed, pulling until Lee – now without boxers, is sitting astride him once again.   
Richard stares as Lee looses the shy attire completely, fingers dissapearing behind his own body and inside, head thrown back in a wanton gesture. He manages to put the condom on with shaking fingers, closing his eyes on a groan when he finally enters Lee. They move slow at first, the brief flicker of pain crossing Lees face not going unnoticed by Richard, who by all accounts is a considerade lover.   
„Shh, love.“  
He soothes, fingers tracing invisble patterns on Lees chest. Lee gives him a smile, picking up the pace, panting, eyes crossing while trying to look at Richard, flushed and panting beneath him. There is a shift and a stutter when Richard finds the spot making Lee see stars. It takes about three more thrusts for Lee to shout so loudly Mrs.Leibowitz next door will fall out of bed, but he doesn´t care. Richard follows soon after, more quiet but none the less he feels shaken, relaxed and loved all at once. It feels right.  
„Hey.“  
Lee grins after a while, still flushed and sated, eyes half closed. Richard rakes a hand through Lees hair, cups his neck before drawing him back into a lazy kiss.   
„Hey.“   
He repeats, drawing circles over Lees back, frowning as he discovers a little scar at the small of his back. Lee bites his lip, eyes shifting away.   
„I am quite clumsy.“  
Is all he says, quietly to Richard who in turn just nips at his lower lip .  
„As I said, it is quite charming.“  
His hand guides Lees fingers to the scar on his thigh, long and and thin.   
„I was a wild child. Waiting until having a drivers licence didn´t appeal. Got my ass whipped pretty bad afterwards though.“  
Lee can´t help it, chuckles only betrayed by the gentle movements of his fingers on Richards thigh.   
„What?“  
Richard asks after a small eternity. Lee grins impishly.   
„I was thinking that though I can´t get pregnant, we could get a dog, for a start? You know, not right now but..maybe later?“  
Blue eyes focus on his face, try to find the hints of a joke – finding none, he sighs. Yes it must be love because him, allergic to dog hair, says.  
„We could look at dogs –if you still want that in the moring. But..“  
Lee all but squeals, hugging him closely. Yep, love.


	8. Morning talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are serious talks, and cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) So the next part in our boys journey (which is far from over yet)  
> And once again, thanks so much for the lovely feedback :)

Trusting someone , Lee thinks is to fall asleep next to them without hesitation. He has hasitated a lot in his life so far and he has had his fair share of doubts what concerned Richard and, that whatever they have is fleeting due to having rushed into it all even if the things they feel are quite real. Still, he likes to feel young and wild, not caring for consequences. He does care, though if he is honest with himself and it isn't all because of Richard. Behind his smile, there also lies a past and buried secrets. He looks closely at Richard, observing every plane and angle, feels a little bit like Alice in Wonderland on the other side of the looking glass.  
"What's on your mind?"  
Richard asks, eyes still closed. He hopes this will be about the dog but knows in his heart, it isn't. He can see it in the lines of Lees face. The worry and the hesitation to ask something he doesn't know how to put in words right now. The bed feels warm and smells of them, a mixture that pleases him and that he doesn't want to leave behind. He feels cocooned, save. Happiness is a fleeting thing, he knows but he wants to cling on. Lee speaks softly.  
"Look, it is none of my business but.."  
The sigh Richard emits is audbile as he pushes up on his elbows, eyes fixing Lee with an attentive yet sleepy stare. Something that makes Lees heart flutter before Richard delievers the words he cannot muster to get out this early in the morning. The sun is not yet up and, darkness sheltering them from the harsh world out there. Noises are drifting up from below the street, hardly reaching them. They are save here. It is an odd thing that comes to Lee as Richards deep voice pierces his subconscious turmoil.  
"This is about the marriage thing,isn't it."  
Lee nods,playing idly with the hair on Richards chest. He hates to admit that something that was thrown at him by the press, something that could have well been a lie, bothers him so much. He has to know, to get it out of his head all the same.  
"Normally I wouldn't ask but the last relationship I had ended very bad for me because.. well ..because there were issues."  
Richard blinked. How in the world did it come to serious talking in the morning?  
"Issues?"  
The Brit repeated wearily, not liking the way this was going and Lee practically folded in on himself. His hand, on his own accord found its way into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, stroking in what he hoped were soothing circles. He was pleased when Lee leaned into the touch, humming under his breath.  
"You are trying to district me."  
Lee accuses half heartily, burrowing deeper into the pillows, inching impossibily closer towards Richard, kissing a temptingly bared collarbone softly.  
"It's working, isn't it?"  
Smoothly delievered, just with a hint of smugness.  
"Yes, it is."  
Lee laughs, clearing his throat, linking their fingers as if that would anchor him for the next thing he is about to say.  
"The word marriage is something I ..."  
He stops, eyes clamping shut and a laugh bubbles up in the back of his throat as he thinks about the times Richard has already seen his self contol in tatters. His emotions laid bare.  
"I wasn't married. It was a publicity thing."  
Richard begins, painful aware of the deathgrip Lee has on his fingers. He doesn't pull his own fingers away, though. There is something more, because when Lee looks at him from under lowered lashes with slightly wet eyes, it hurts.Lee is a very emotional man and that is the thing that has drawn him in. Like a siren calling him to the sea, never to return again comes unbidden to mind. He pushes the thoughts away as far as he can muster, wrapping his arms around Lees waist.  
"Did you love him?"  
Richard blinks again, kicking himself for zoneing out. It takes him a few minutes to catch up and make sense of the question spoken closely to his ear.  
"Her. And no.The whole thing was three years ago."  
It feels longer, because Richard wants to forget it ever happened. At Lees quzzical expression he continues.  
"I had just, as some would say - made it big. So my private life no longer was that, private. Even if I tried my best to keep it that way."  
Taking in a deep and needed breath his gaze meets curious eyes which aren't judgeing in the slightest. He can't quite resist, steals a kiss from still slightly swollen lips. The hands in his hair tear a moan from him but he manages to pull back.  
"Now, who is distracting whom here?"  
Lee grins cheekily.  
"It's only fair I have my revenge, isn't it? Continue, Sir."  
For that, Richard cuffs Lee lightly on the head.  
"Ow!"  
The American exclaims in what is clearly mock outrage.  
"Your own fault. You don't 'Sir' someone after the horizontal mambo. Americans"  
Lee is shaking in silent laughter beside him. A good sign and Richard wants to slap his own shoulder for having done something right. None the less, he continues.  
"I had a different agent back then and there had been rumours. So he, well - scoued someone and the whole maschinery just...it spiraled out of control. "  
Lee raised his eyebrows in question.  
"To make it short, I fired his ass, had an offical coming out and sent her on a way with a gracious check. Cost me a fortune, that whole mess."  
Lee had gone quiet, eyes fixed upon somwhere in the darkness of the room. He gave Richard a strange look before he spoke. His voice was strained,obviously recounting a memory he wanted to forget.  
"That must have been harsh."  
Richard nodded.  
"That isn't was you wanted to tell me, isn't it ?"  
Shaking his head, Lee continues.  
"That last relationship of mine. The One with the issues - well. I was younger, of course. And in love. Anyway, so we always met at my place and I started to wonder why."  
The memory is bitter, painful and Lee draws his strength to go on with his story from the soothing strokes from Richards hand on his back  
"Turned out, he was married and had a family. He didn't want things to end between us. Loved having a bit of an adventure on the side. I didn't want that, so we got into a huge fight. It ended with me having a broken nose."  
The quiet was too loud, but Richard swore , if he ever found that bastard he would skin him alive. Tugging Lee closer to him his fingers ghosted across the slightly askew ridge of Lees nose. As an afterthought he planted a kiss on it, making Lee blush, ducking his head. Richard took it as a good sign that Lee didn't pull away and when he moved out of the bed some time later, it was with the promise of breakfast. He was glad they had talked, after all and knew now better than before that this, this could work


	9. Of Booksales and Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sales are made and punches are traded with Exes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter. Thanks again for the wonderful feedback that feeds my muse. Enjoy :)

Lee doesn't quite remember a time when the store was so packed he couldn't turn without bumping into someone. Not even when Harry Potter came out it was crowded like it was today. Martin, who by all means was a fast and good worker, despite his sometimes harsh demeanour , wasn't able to complete all the orders that were thrown his way by customers left and right in time.  
"I swear when I hear 'Oh just give me a book but could please give that to Richard to sign', I will commit a bloody murder."  
Lee laughed, wrapping up a childrens book, handing it to a little girl with pigtails.  
"Here you go, princess."  
He gave her a warm smile when she grabbed the book in her tiny hands, grinning widely at him.  
"Thanks Mister!"  
"You're welcome."  
She trots of into the crowd, taking the hand of her mother when Martin reappears at his side with a deep sigh.  
"Why do you get those?" He asks with an expression that can cleary be descriped as painful, pointing at the little girl, twirling around on his heel to point at a crowd of giggling teenagers, holding up the newest issue of People magazine.  
"And I, the poor sod I am get them ?"  
Lee feels his face heat as they point at him and Martin snickers, nodding at the magazine in question on the counter.  
" Congratulations by the way , mate , you made it to the front page with your hot boytoy."  
"Maaaarrrtin."  
He whines, turning crimson, hastily leaving the shop for the privacy of the apartment, followed by Martins laughter and sighs of slightly dissapointed teenaged girls. Graham, true to his word had arranged for Richards things to be shipped from the Savoy to his place and the image of Richard singing quietly under his breath while unpacking makes Lee utterly happy.  
Richard turns to him, grinning broadly.  
"We made the frontpage."  
There is something gleeful in his expression. "Graham got to see it first thing in the morning."  
Lee chuckles. "You are evil."  
Richard just wriggles his eyebrows before nodding, plopping next to Lee,placing sock clad feet in Lees lap.  
"And you look tired."  
He is. It is well past noon now and he has been on his feet since six in the morning opening the store up at seven, out of fear the people would break down the glass front in their haste to go in. He knew that it was because the magazine was out, and there had been the whole thing with the press conference. Still, it felt a little strange.  
"I got offered a wonderful role."  
Richard breaks his thoughts, making Lee turn his head so fast something in his neck gives a painful crack, which the actor notices, placing a hand on the spot, gently massaging it.  
"Doesn't change my plans, though."  
It pains Lee that his face can be read like an open book whenever he feels vulnerable. Leaning into the touch none the less he grasps Richard fingers, planting a kiss on each knuckle before letting go and standing.  
"What role?"  
Richard smiles.  
"Fifty Shades of Grey."  
The Brit says in his most serious tone, making Lee choke on his soda in return. Coughing hard and trying to get rid of the unpleasent feeling of soda in his nostrils.  
"What?"  
He croaks, eyes stinging and Richard regrets joking for a moment, jumping up from his place and rubbing soothing circles into Lees back.  
"Kidding. Robin Hood."  
"Oh."  
It sounds small and there is a slight blush staining Lees cheeks does little to hide the obvious embarressment.  
"Would you come with me, next month when filming starts?"  
Lee has never been to Europe and altough he feels smitten a thousand things run berserk in his head.  
"You don't... "  
"I want to..."  
They share a quiet laugh that settles all, before sharing a lingering kiss, noses bumping awkwardly as the phone rings. Richard swears the universe has it out for them sometimes. Well, the universe in shape of Martin.  
"Thought I better call instead of walking in on you rearranging the furniture or something like that."  
Lee ignores the look Richard throws him, standing close enough to hear every word coming over the line.  
"Holding down the fort getting a bit much for you?"  
He teases Martin good naturally, winking at Richard who laughs quietly against his shoulder .  
It takes Martin a moment to respond, and when he does, the smile Lee wore vanishes.  
"Clark is here. Want me to call the cops?"  
Anger coils deep inside him, making his grip on the phone so tight it creaks in his clenced fist. Leave it to a man that managed to ruin his life once already to crawl out the woodwork when he dared to be happy. And by god, he has had enough of Clark, peaking in his broken nose. Richard can feel the tension in Lee, giving him a questioning look.  
"Earth to Lee. Should I call the cops now?"  
Blinking, Lee says nothing. He just hangs up, turning to Richard who looks a little confused. Lee can't blame him. On his way downstairs, he tells Richard who Clark is , all but begging the other man to stay behind but Richard doesn't even think on that, just follows him after hastily slipping on shoes. A fact he is grateful for. The shop is blessfully more empty, safe for a few mingling customers for whom Richard signs autographs, if only to district himself trom punching the tall man staring at Martin with disdain.  
"Lee, so glad to see you."  
It is said in a sickly sweet voice that makes Lee want to vomit.  
"Can't say the same. Please leave."  
Of course Clark doesn't move an inch from the spot he is standing in, looking over to Richard, who finishes the last autographs, waving off happily looking girls. Martin grimly shuts the cash register with an audible bang , rounding on Clark. Richard watches in mild alarm as the man Lee so urgently wants to get rid of has the nerve to smile. Moving to stand behind Lee and squeezing a shoulder reasurringly he speaks in low, dangerous tones.  
"Didn't you hear? You are not welcome here."

Clark just guffaws, inspecting his nails. It riles Lee up to the point he steps forward, shoves Martin behind himself and presses out between gritted teeth for Clark to leave already. The time spent with that man, he realises , has been wasted .  
"How cute. Just because you got to fuck him, doesn't mean you are part of his life, Hollywood."

Is all Clark says, though, still smiling and certainly not leaving.

Richard clences his fists, stepping closer. This could easily spin out of control, so Martin, unseen by both of them calls the cops dispite Lees protests.  
Lee has gone pale, trembling with anger. Clark, the bastard - as Richard has fondly dubbed him already, goes right up to Lee, whispering something into his ear , chuckling softly. It makes Richards blood boil.  
The transformation in the younger mans face is immidate. Richard expects everything, yet not for Lee to spin his 6'5 frame around, fist flying and connecting with the other mans jaw.  
A painful cry is ripped from his throat as Clark sinks to the floor and he clutches his bruised fingers between his legs.

"God Lee, what.."  
Richard starts but stops when two cops arrive overlooking the scene.  
"What is your emergency?"  
Is directed at nobody in particular. Richard would like to know, too.


	10. Things to settle, battles to fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And on it goes. Martin decides to settle things his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D So, the journey continues.

The atmosphere in the room once the cops have gone is still stale. Lee can´t blame Richard for looking pensive and a lot of confused, while he nurses his most likely broken fingers in a bowl of ice Martin fetched for him. This time it had been without comment, all the more adding to the tense atmosphere.  
Clark has been escorted away by the cops because the restraining order Lee had against him was still valid. Thank god for small miracles, he thinks without much humour, watching Richard intently sipping the tea, also courtesty of Martin. Lee himself was more of a coffee person.  
„Care to tell me why you reacted like that?“  
Richard is still a little shocked, to be honest, never in a million years the thought of Lee acting like that occuring to him. Granted, he doesn´t know what happend and he doesn´t know all sides of Lee, as Lee does of him. Still, it makes him wonder what happend in the last two hours. When Lee speaks, his voice his broken and soft. There is no hate in it, not the anger in his eyes that there had been previously.  
Just sadness.  
„When we were together, we were very much in love. You know, I told you about what – well how it ended. I even filed a restraining order at some point. Glady still valid. Martin, be a doll and call Luke, yeah?“  
Martin mutters something but complies, clapping Lee on the shoulder. Richards gaze flickers to the bowl of ice on the table.  
„That must hurt. Sure you don´t want to go, see a doctor?And why call Luke?“  
Lee shakes his head, takes a deep breath before he continues. He feels raw, wound tight.  
„Luke is not only my friend, but also my lawyer.“  
His lips quirk at the shocked expression that gets him before it falters again.  
„As I said. Clark and I – or at least I – was very much in love. So much that I was stupid enough to let him film us once. And now he came here to remind me of my stupid mistakes.“  
Richards grip on his tea cup loosens and if falls to the floor, breaking into thousand pieces.  
„That utter bastard! He is blackmailing you?“  
Something wants to come out of Lees mouth, a sentence, something smart but all that manages to escape is a sob that twists the actors heart.  
„How can he do that? How dares he do that to me, when I am happy. When I am finally over all that. When I am in love?“  
People are the cruelst kind of animal, somebody once said. Richard rembers that once he rises, hauling Lee into a hug that is crushing and caring all the same, his eyes also wet. It hurts to see Lee like that, to feel the trembling while he cries. Martin watches them from his place in the kitchen, considering what to do next. Despite Lees wishes, he doesn´t call Luke. He has gone utterly quiet and if Lee wouldn´t be so stricken by grief and betrayal he would protest once Martin slips on his jacket, shouting over his shoulder that he couldn´t reach Luke.  
„I am gonna go over there, myself. Look if the tosser fell asleep over his work again.“  
He hollers. Lee nods, burrowing deeper against Richards warmth, seeking comfort for fear he might break into thousand pieces.  
„Shh,love. It will be alright. I promise.“  
The quiet, honest words make Lee only cry harder but he wants to believe them so so badly.  
Martin doesn´t drive to Luke. It takes him a moment to force down the anger he feels against Clark Emerson before he can start his car. Lee had been his friend for some years now and he wasn´t the kind of guy who dropped his friends easily and he absolutely didn´t tolerate when said friends got hurt, or dragged through the mud. He had watched the whole thing with Clark, and he hadn´t been fond of the other man from the start, although he couldn´t quite put a finger to it. Afterwards, it all became very clear.  
He should have known from the sleazy way the guy looked at Lee, never openly admitting anything. He had tolerated it, because Lee had been happy. Deliriously so. But this, this was too much. It takes him thirty minutes to drive to the neighbourhood Emerson lives with his family and the sight makes Martin want to throw up. It is one of those white picket fenced houses, made for a happy family. No doubt Clark Emerson never even mentioned that to Lee in the first place, wanting nothing but a side dish.  
Martin isn´t a cruel man, but sometimes he feels the need to do the right thing, even if it seems wrong to others. He rights his tie, knocks on the front door three times and waits. A woman with a bright smile and dimples opens him, at her side a small boy peeks up at him, trying his best at playing invisible.  
„Excuse me, but my husband fell down some stairs today, he really isn´t feeling well.“  
Martin gives her a bright smile he hopes will reasure her to let him in.  
„Yes Ma´am I know. I am awfully sorry, see – I work at the place it happend and I really wanted to look after him.“  
She looks convinced, offering him a glass of Port once she ushers him into what looks like to be an office. Martin fights the childish urge to smash the obsencely big vase in the corner of the room while he waits for Clark. Clark, dumb as he is tall or so Martin thinks at least, strides into the office and starts talking before looking at who is there.  
„Look man, I won´t go there anymore. Really.“  
A cruel smile plays upon his lips as he realises that Clark must be thinking Luke is the One he is talking to. He turns white as a sheet when he realises it is Martin. 

„Fuck.“  
Martin rolls his eyes, sipping the expensive brew, starting to talk without giving Clark the chance to talk his way out of that. Not this time around.  
„Now, that isn´t polite. What will your child ever say if you talk like that, but then again you never had manners you nitwit.“  
He stands, takes a manacing step closer.  
„We make this short. You will hand me the tape you´ve been pestering Lee about or I will show your lovely wife and her father – you remember, the Senetor of New York – the tape I recorded on Christmas. You remember that Christmas, when you actually proposed to Lee, confessing your undying love and promising to leave your wife. It was quite lovely, and is good quality.“  
Clark all but faints, hastily retreating until his back hits one of the shelves lined along a wall of his office.  
„You wouldn´t do that. You wouldn´t dare.“  
„I am English. I don´t care what´s proper and what not, you told me once, as I remember.Now , the tape.“  
The item in question is dropped into his hands like a hot, unpleasent thing.  
„Is this the only one?“  
Martin asks, still sipping his wine.  
„Y-yes. Yes it is. What about your tape? I need to have that, I couldn´t risk..“  
Martin slams the glass down so hard on the oak desk dominating the room that it rattles.  
„You don´t get anything. You are pathetic and when I see anything of you near Lee again, ever – I will rip off your bollocks and feed them to you on a silver platter, are we clear?“  
He is pleased to see that there is a bruise where Lee struck the other man.  
„Well?“  
His voice sounds hard and gritty, nothing like the tone of voice he has around friends or family.  
„Yes. Understood.“  
Martin nods grimly, turning without a second glance. He is met by Mrs.Emerson again who is clearly confused. Throwing her a blinding smile he compliments her on the house and her lovely child.  
„I am sure your husband will come around.“  
He says and is off with a wave. Some things had to be done.


	11. Friends and Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are drinks, kisses and things are destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) And on our journey goes , and once again thanks for all your support <3

"Has the world ended yet?"  
Richard needs to lean closely to Lee - or at least were he thinks Lee is hidden under a pile of blankets with only his hair sticking out.  
"No. Come out from under there."  
"Why?"  
He realizes, Lee feels ashamed. That tape, he wants to get his hands on it, smash it into ten thousand pieces so that it never again can cause Lee pain. Pushing his thoughts aside he finds himself pulled forward and under. Not being prepared for something like that, he lets out a little yelp.  
"You musn't hate me, please."  
Lee pleads, all feverish and fearful, eyes red.  
"Why would I ? Don't be daft. Whatever happens, why would I ever think of leaving you, after causing Graham to become an alcoholic over the whole thing already. Or so I've been told."  
It earns him the laugh he was fishing for when the sound of the door opening startles them both a bit. Martin.  
"You're not shagging up there, are you?"  
Lee turns beetred at the implication, looking guilty at the front of his sweatpants. Richards gaze has landed there, too. The smirk playing on his lips makes the tips of Lees ears turn pink while he mutters something about damn aftershave.  
" No, not yet."  
Richard yells down the stairs. Lee groans, hiding his face in his hands for good measure.  
"Well then, come down here!"  
Lee doesn't want to leave the bed, ever, he tells Richard, protesting as he is coaxed from his warm nest and gently guided down the stairs. The sight that greets them is Martin, mopping the floor and picking up the pieces of the broken cup Richard had dropped earlier.  
"About bloody time, I am not your maid! Nor yours, Shakespeare junior!"  
Richard can't help the smile cracking his face, heart warming when Lee finally laughs. It is good to hear.  
"Martin, where is Luke?"  
Lee asks after having helped Martin cleaning up the mess none of them had eyes for beforehand. Wiping dirty hands on his trousers without caring Martin puts aside the broom, crossing his arms in front of his chest. A gesture Lee is familiar with. Sighing heavily he glides onto a chair, motioning for Richard to do the same. Wearily Richard looks from one to the other, a creeping feeling of subspicion nagging in the back of his mind.  
"Do I want to know what is going on?"  
He tries for jokingly and fails miserably.  
"Where do you keep the Vodka you pretend not owning, Lee. You know the good stuff?"  
Maybe Graham was right with his comment of them ending up as addicts, he muses watching Lee rummaging through the cupboards , finally emerging with a shout of triumph, a bottle and three shot glasses.  
"Care to tell me what we are drinking to?"  
Whistling , Martin from god knows where - produces a baseball bat.  
"Is that for unhappy customers?"  
Lee cackles as Martin shakes his head and explains that they would have an axe for that, making Richard choke on his shot. In for a penny, in for a dime. Lees gaze zeroes in on the innocent looking packet placed in the center of his kitchen table, the hand holding his shotglass pausing mid air.  
"Martin, what the hell did you do?"  
Of course he recognises the tape, he had wrapped it himself once. Drowing his shot he rapidly refills all of their glasses, looking pointingly at Martin.  
"Nothing."  
Martin replies, unashamed lying through his teeth before handing the bat to Lee, grinning.  
"Martin.."  
Lee starts, fingers numb and mind going blank. His thoughts are reeling, spinning out of controland his head feels heavy.  
"Is that what I think it is?"  
The actor asks, feeling white hot anger burning alongside the alcohol in his throat. Martin raises his glass in confirmation. As if in a daze, Richard hears himself speak up, watching Lee closely.  
"Give me that."  
He says in an authoritative tone, barely containing the rage he feels. It comes seldom to him that he feels so utterly mad. But he does, oh yes he does. Standing, he pries the bat from Lee who doesn't protest.  
"I don't know the rules to this game."  
He states a bit flat, grip around the wood getting tighter. It is an odd sight, the little voice in his head helpfully supplies. They are in a kitchen, most likely on their way to get plastered, and he is currently swinging a baseball bat idly back and forth staring at a videotape as if it were the bane of his existence.  
"Rules? Fuck them."  
Richard feels the dark chuckle rumble in his chest at Martins brash comment. It makes him feel bold, reckless.  
"What are you gonna do?"  
Lee sounds hoarse, eyes shining. He doesn't expect the rough kiss but welcomes it, giggling as Martin makes retching noises in the background out of habit. Richard barely finds the strength to pull away, eyes on the tape he unceremonially throws to the floor, setting the bat aside to push up his sleeves. Lee watches in interest.  
"I am going to end this."  
He all but growls, making Lee gasp and grip his glass tighter. The sight of Richard raising the bat above his head, taking a deep desperate breath before bring it down makes him gasp. Little splinters fly everywhere but Richard doesn't stop. He strikes the object that caused so much grief again and again while Martin and Lee watch in what can be called fascination.  
"Leichester, eh?"  
Martin grins from ear to ear, taking the moment Richard drops the bat as his cue to leave with a wave and som words that are lost to them.  
"Still got it in me, it seems."  
Richard jokes lightly, panting. Lee is spellbound and he has to admit to himself, aroused.  
"What?"  
Lee doesn't say anything, just pulls Richard into a toecurling kiss, making him drop the bat in the process.  
"Just wondering what shagging means, you know - me being american and all. Mind showing me?"  
Lee says coyly, batting his eyelashes. After a beat and clearing his throat, Richard nods.  
"Gladly."


	12. Education and manners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard decides to educate Lee in some ways. (a.k.a - there is smut, because they are just asking for it, damn it!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter with our favourite boys. Yet again I would love to thank you for the lovely feedback and encouraging comments.<3 I really appriciate it :)

Lee feels a little like as if he would be at sea. No doubt the vodka is to blame for it. His eyes follow the movement of the bottle, temptingly dangling between Richards fingers.  
„No, really, we shouldn´t waste that. And we need to educade you on the term shagging, don´t we, love?“  
He drawls, voice rough and eyes hungry.  
„Yes, that was the plan.“  
Lee hums from his place on the bed, clothes strewn around the floor. He doesn´t care though, eyes not leaving their mark. Richard moves slowly, still fully clothed which Lee finds not only unfair but downright scandalous.  
„Now I am bit torn here, you know. I would love to talk you through it , I would like to tell you everything I know, but my mouth wants to do so many other things.“  
Richard purrs, opening the bottle and considering for a moment what to do, pursing his lips – imitating the pout Lee gives him despite the flushed state he is already in. Richard tells himself he can wait. For a few seconds at least.  
„What?“  
Lee asks a little confused, his alcohol infused brain not catching up like his sober one would do, fisting the sheets as Richard advances, bottle still in hand.  
„I forgot my glass.“  
Richard says non charlantly, staring at the tentalising dip of Lees navel, tilting the bottle after kneeling over Lee with unabashed hunger. He wants it, so much. It spills cold onto Lees sensetive skin, making him moan.  
„Doesn´t matter, though.“  
Richard smirks, grins even more broadly, watching how the liquid pools in the valley of Lees bellybutton. Dipping his head and licking it out with his tongue he earns himself a shocked gasps that crescents into a wanton moan.  
„Oh god.“  
Is all Lee wispers harshly into the pillow. Richard can´t resist.  
„Just Richard is fine, love.“  
Lee would´ve called Richard out for saying that sort of thing, if it wouldn´t have been for all the blood in his head rushing swiftly southwards. His hands automatically plunged into Richards hair, trying to get a hold on something to ground him. The iron control Richard has over himself, honed in years of acting finally pays off as he sets the bottle carefully aside, looking up with eyes that are more black than blue.  
„Now, where were we?“  
Lee frowns, fingers carding through mussed hair, playing with the sensetive ears of his lover. Gently, but firmly, Richard bats the questioning digits away with a tutting noise.  
„Patience is a virtue.“  
He gently reminds and Lee glares, mouth faster than his brain.  
„Fuck patience.“  
Richard laughs, crawling away, standing and looking at Lee for a long moment. It is a look that hides nothing and Lee blushes, turns his head away. It makes Richard realise that the younger man is still scared because of the things which happened to him in the past. Naked and emotionally bare, Richard moves forward, glides over Lee and turns his head so that they can kiss. It isn´t a desperate kiss but a loving one. Hungry and begging for more. Lee moans, fingers ghosting over Richards back, dipping lower and around, making the control he has over the situation waver.  
„Yes, patience - and manners.“  
It takes the older man a lot of willpower to sit back on his haunches, remembering what he had orignially planned.  
„That´s what this is about?“  
Lee teases, propping up on his elbows, watching in interest.  
„No, this is about us.“  
They don´t speak, just watch one another and Lee closes his eyes against the wave of emotion that comes crashing down on him. His hands are in Richards hair again, even if they are loose. He doesn´t stop Richard from going lower, kissing a wet trail from his navel and around the spot he needs the most attention . A strangled curse is ripped from his throat, eyes rolling back into his head as Richard finally descents.  
„Riiichharrd..“  
It is drawn out, breathless. Lee feels hot, cold – everything all at once.  
„Shh, love. Patience.“  
Lee silently woes to himself if Richard says patience one more time – the thought can´t be finished, though because of the clever fingers opening him up carefully.  
„Richard.“  
Lee gasps out, biting his lips until they are swollen and raw.  
„I would love to take a picture of you, right now. Right in this moment, the way you look. Just for myself.“  
Is all Richard can come up with at the sight. He knows he plays with fire and Lee doesn´t speak for a while, eyes bright.  
„You can, if you want to.“  
Richards mind goes blank, though only for a moment before he shakes his head, fumbling a with the nightstand drawer in search for condoms. Lee stops him, hand grabbing a strong wrist, holding tight. It takes no words for Richard to understand, so he sits back and lines up after he feels he is slick enough as not to hurt his lover. The first push in is always tricky, but it doesn´t take long for them to be joined, both uttering sounds of pleasure.  
„I just want you.“  
He raps out and Lee gives him a blinding smile, eyes shining and gaze fixed on Richard. A little moan escapes Lee as they shift, Richard hitting his sweet spot, so Richard does it again, over and over until Lee is a quivering whriting mess, all but shouting out his release into the night. It takes him a few moments to calm, only to realise that Richard is still hard after he has pulled out. He has been holding back, for the sake of his pleasure - Lee knows. Gently pushing Richard on his back, trembling in aftershocks, eyes hooded.  
„What´s going on in that pretty head of yours?“  
Richard has trouble forming words, brain and mouth not cooperating anymore, but who in the world could blame him? Lee, the utterly cheeky thing – just grins, nose brushing the trail of hair leading from Richards navel to his prize, so to speak.  
„Trying to get my degree, you know – after being educated and such.“  
The actor would have retorted something witty, he really would have, but Lee ended it swiftly, swallowing down in one go ,making Richard shout loudly. His repuation with the neighbours is ruinied but if Lee ever cared, he doesn´t now, seeing Richard in the throws of passion.  
Silence fills the room soon after. It doesn´t matter though, because both of them know, limbs tangled, foreheads pressed togehter and breath gradually slowing, it is enough.  
„So..“  
Richard can´t help asking after a while.  
„Familiar with the term shagging now?“  
Lee gives him a full blown laugh, heartfelt and warm.  
„Well, yes. Might need a refreshing course throughout the summer, though.“  
Richard joins into the laughter soon afterwards.


	13. Love and Puppies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Lee wants a dog. Richard doesn´t - but can he ever refuse Lee anything? No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on it goes :D Thanks again for the feedback and I hope you enjoy reading :)

If you love someone, you are ready to make sacrifices, Lee knows. He knows they have a little bubble around them, here in his apartment, his supporting friends and he is aware that Richard has a completely different life. That Richard will have to leave in a few weeks come and that he cannot just drop everything and go with him, even if he wants, desperately wants to pack his bags and leave with Richard.  
That he has thoughts like that while cleaning the bedroom after their previous activities, throwing clothes into the hemper, doesn´t help his pounding head either. The other ache he feels is far more pleasent, making him grin, skipping around the room with a whistle, tripping in his haste to get rid pesky tasks like sorting laundry. Muttering from the place where he fell face down into the nest of pillows on the bed he feels the flush coming on once Richard laughs.  
„Can´t a man go and shave without you falling over your own two feet?“  
He can´t help it, laughs at Lees expense, setting the razor aside, eyebrows wriggling. 

„Although I have to say, the position is very, very tempting.“  
Lee turns around, eyes dark and flings a sock in Richards direction, catching him in the chin before giving chase. Now Richard is the One left cursing, and honestly feeling a bit dumbstruck, before he runs after Lee, not minding he isn´t wearing anything but a towel. He wouldn´t care if he were naked, feels young and giddy – ignoring the fact he will have to leave soon. Too soon, so he pushes his back into the farthest corner of his mind, running until he has caught Lee in the kitchen, out of breath and laughing.  
„Uh, Richard.. I ..“  
Lee stops mid sentence, hanging his head, while preparing breakfast. Why and how the mood suddenly changed, Richard doesn´t know but he has feeling that Lee will explain it if he gives him a few moments of doing mindless chores to work up the courage. The smell of burnt toast distracts them both for a moment and Lee curses colorful, making Richard smile fondly. He grabs Lee by the wrists, tracing patterns that burn on Lees skin, making him remember things definately not belonging in a kitchen while trying to butter toast.  
„Yes?“  
The look Lee gives him is the look a boy has right before Christmas comes up and tries to convince his parents to get him the insanly expensive present they really can´t afford. It feels good, though. Just standing there and holding hands, even if they are both in a towel or sweatpants, look rumpled and Richard doesn´t really want to look into the mirror because he has only shaven one side of his face. It doesn´t matter at all. It only feels right.  
„I was thinking.“  
If the wall would´ve have been next to Lees head and not some meters away, he would have loved to slam his head against it the way that came out, but he ignores his darker thoughts, pressing the next words out in a rush.  
„So I was thinking about the dog thing. You know, since I cannot come with you to London and..and I really. Maybe we could look at the puppies at Rizzo´s?“  
He stops, moving around to do anything but looking at Richard, or worse – starting to cry. He doesn´t know what it is that makes him that emotional, but he hates sometimes. Richard sits down, hand idly scratching his chin, eyes fixed on Lee. He doesn´t blame the younger man for his train of thoughts because unbeknownst to Lee, he was thinking along almost the same lines. Well, aside the matter with the dog, which Richard had hoped Lee would have forgotten about. Still, he cannot for the life of him refuse those pleading eyes.  
Munching his toast, he glares at the fridge, wondering how this became his reality before he presses a kiss to Lees temple, telling him that it might be a good idea to dress first, though. And shave. The laugh follows him until he is in the bathroom and Lee is still grinning when he, after an hour – comes out.  
„You are kidding.“  
He wheezes, eyes tearing up at the sight Richard presents. The overly huge sunglasses are back, as is the baseball cap.  
„No. I am not. I know that those fuckers will try to get pictures and I really don´t want that when I am strolling around New York in my precious spare time.“  
„Okay.“  
Lee says, holding up his hands in surrender, still chuckling, wrapping his arms around Richards middle once he is close enough, unashamed at invading the personal space of his lover.  
„Don´t okay me, you git.“  
Lee pouts, planting a wet kiss on the tip of Richards nose.  
„Okay.“  
He repeats, laughing all the way to his car, hopping in and motioning for Richard to do the same. They could walk, but he knows that it most likely not the thing Richard needs this early in the day, nor does he want a repeat performance of the day where he fainted. A slight blush creeps up on his cheeks at that, eyes focused on the road, until they reach the pet store.  
Sure enough they have been followed and Richard pulls the glasses farther down into his face, muttering obscenities under his breath. It has to be hard, Lee realises, gaze flickering up to one of the many skyscrapers of this city, the only special thing about it being , that a poster with Richards larger than life face greets him, advertising his newest movie. A hugely sucessful fantasy flick, as Richard had dubbed it without second thought. Lee feels transfixed, because that picture up there, it has nothing to do with the man at his side, tugging him into the little corner store.  
„Come on.“  
He urges, hiding his face, pulling the cap down even more. How he manages to steer them through the door without hitting it head first, Lee doesn´t know. 

„Hey there!“  
Rizzo, as he is called, joyvially greets them while rounding the counter and grinning broadly. He is a large man, friendly – just talks a little too much sometimes and Lee wonders if it was such a bright idea after all to come here, because Rizzo, nice as he was wasn´t really steely in his resolve once money was involved. A fact Lee never had bothered to think about and it hadn´t been necessary.  
„God, that I live to see the day to have someone famous in my place. It is an honour, really.“  
Lee practically can feel Richard roll his eyes behind his sunglasses, even though he smiles and says he wouldn´t be that famous. Rizzo laughs again, loudly, clapping Richard on the shoulder.  
„Now, now – what can I do for you?“  
Clearing his throat, Lee steps forward, hand reaching for Richards. He knows it is a bold move but doesn´t care, even if he can hear the clicking noises of cameras in the background. Richard just takes his hand, gripping tight.  
„Now, my boyfriend and me – we would love to have a dog, and he told me, this is the place to go if you are looking for one.“  
His smile is bright and Lees smile matches it. Boyfriend, he thinks giddly, fighting the urge to stick out his tongue and into the direction of one of the cameras while Rizzo beams, speaking impossible louder. They move around the store for a bit, until Lee lets out an awestruck noise, eyes landing on a Pointer puppy that is wriggling its tail happily.  
„Aww, Richard look at the little fella. Isn´t he cute?“  
Lee gushes, lifting the pup up. It is love at first sight, Richard knows that once the dog yips and licks a broad stripe over Lees face. He can´t resist, snaps a picture with his cell, grinning bright and real for the second time this morning.  
„I see I lost a battle hrm?“  
He teases and Rizzo laughs, saying that they would be quite the little family and if Richard could please sign this and that – for the nieces and nephews, and by god his wife will kill him for taking her free day that day. Richard ignores the babbling, watches quietly while Lee signs the papers for the dog, holding it out towards Richard. Richard sneezes a bit, but it isn´t that bad.  
„Say hello to Richard, Carl.“  
Richard is doomed, he knows. But also so much in love he doesn´t give a damn, linking his arm through Lees as all three of them walk out of the store, happily waved off by Rizzo.


	14. A parting of ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard doesn´t want to leave early , but he has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, on we go. I know there is a little heartache on the way, but please bear with me. It will get better, I promise. :) And also, I am not going to tire of that - thank you for your lovely feedback

Lee watches Richard sleep, Carl securely in the little basket they have purchased for him and closes his eyes. It comes to him slowly again, that creeping feeling that he wants more than that. More than the bookstore, more than the life he has, even if it is quite alright, still. He doesn´t want Richard to leave alone, for once in his life being selfish. So when Richard meets with Graham, discussing his latest photoshoot, he visits his father again, just to talk.  
He tries for a steely resolve, tries for calm and coaxing in front of the mirror before he leaves his apartment, but finds the best laid plans are the one he doesn´t go through in his head.  
„Son.“  
It is the tone he always hated, the tone that made him flinch when he was little, a boy not knowing what would happen next. He isn´t that boy anymore.  
„Dad.“  
He says in the same tone, staring at the surface of the coffee table.  
„I am sorry.“  
All Lee can do is blink. He isn´t prepared for that statement, doesn´t know how it came to be in the first place, so he just draws his brows together.  
„What?“  
He croaks, all bad things running through his head again that happened in his life.  
„I am sorry he goes back to London and you feel the need to stay here for my sake.“ His father grins at him sadly, withered hands idly playing with a deck of cards. It brings back fond memories of a childhood that was mostly happy.  
„You talked to Martin, didn´t you?“  
His father just chuckles, growing serious again after a minute of silence that stretches seemingly endless between them and his eyes never leave his sons face.  
„Yes, I did that. Made me wonder why I hired him in the first place.“  
Lee has to laugh a bit, but is silent otherwise as his father just continues shuffling cards.  
„That´s not the point, now is it?“  
No, it isn´t. The point is, Lee wants to scream, that a lot of people mess with his life before he can get the chance to do so himself. White hot anger boils in his gut, starts to fade and vanishes after a moment he takes time to breath. He has learned to be patient. Even if it is hard sometimes.  
„What is the point then? I think we are past the time in my life were chocolate chip cookies could ease our differences. Speak freely.“  
His dad ignores the bitter jibe for the time being, speaking in a normal and calm manner.  
„I heard you got a dog, isn´t the fellow allergic to dog hair? At leat I read that in one of those magazines about him. You know, those glossy pieces of trash that I refused to sell in the store when times were hard.“  
Lee knows, remembers every day that was hard and hardened him. Has extingushed some of his dreams, if not all of them at some point .  
„Yeah, his name is Carl. He is adorable. Already has taken a liking to my loafers.“  
It had been quite a sight but he hadn´t had it in his heart to be angry the way the puppy looked at him from the remains of his house shoes.  
„I see. Look, what I wanted to say is that you should follow your heart if you are unhappy here. Follow him, if that is what you want. Settle things here, and go.“  
It takes Lee a while until he can talk again, fists clenching at his sides. It makes him mad, he feels his blood boil and boy, is he furious – even if he can´t point out why exactly. Suddenly, he thinks of his mother who never said a word, of all the things that should have been said.  
„That is rich. I should feel honored, now shouldn´t I? You consider that now, why? Do you remember the time I wanted to leave before, how you begged me to stay? You didn´t even close the fucking store after mom died, but then again you never noticed she was ill in the first place!“  
Long buried anger and hurt surface inside him, but Lee can´t stop his mouth from spewing out hateful words until the slap brings him back to reality. It doesn´t really hurt but with nothing left to say he turns to leave, pressing a hand to his stinging cheek.  
„Lee!“  
He doesn´t turn around, he needs to be alone. Richard comes back late, finding Lee in the bedroom, packing. He decides his dad is right, he needs a holiday, he wants happiness – Hell he has deserved it, so why are his hands shaking? Richard watches a moment, oberserving the scene with worry, while Carl runs around Lees legs, tail waggling excitedly. Lee only turns around, once Richard sneezes, eyes wild and a mild bruise on his face. His bottom lip wobbles a bit.  
„Don´t go without me.“  
His voice is small, head downcast.  
„I have to apologize to my dad for being a jackass first but, please Richard , don´t go without me.“  
Richard watches him carefully, lets Lee explain and squeezes his eyes shut at what he will have to say Lee in the next minutes. His hands begin shaking out of their own volution. He doesn´t want to cause the American more heartache, but he knows he proably will.  
„My shooting shedule has been changed on the film . I am so sorry.  
He is. He is sorry at the way Lees hands stop and his shoulders set as if someone would have shot him.  
„I would love to take you with me, please darling believe that. If it wouldn´t have been the last seat on the fucking plane and they wouldn´t breath down my neck so much.“  
By `they´ he means the producers, the director and the rest of the cast waiting. Graham would have loved to give him, to give them more time – but he knows it is impossible. He feels ready to cry at seeing the heartbroken look Lee gives him and sits beside him, curling his fingers around the younger mans. Graham has warned him once, that love – real love – hurts. 

„I understand. Nothing you can do about it. I have books to stack anyway and other boring stuff and..“  
Richard stops Lee with a kiss on his lips, eyes closed and hand cupping the back of his neck in what he hopes is soothing.  
„I want you by my side. Take the next flight you´re able to catch. If you still want to, that is.“  
Carl hops up on the bed between them, yipping in question but it is lost on his owners. Lee nods, trying to be calm.  
„It might take a week. Or two. So I can sort all things and leave without feeling like a total dick. And pack without haste so my underwear won´t fly through the entire plane.“  
He gestures at the suitcase , smiling humourlessly, his other hand clutching Richards as if to say he won´t let go. Richard strokes his tumb over the younger mans eyebrows, leans in for a kiss that is short and bittersweet before leaning back, pressing their foreheads together.  
„See me off?“  
It sounds hopeful to his own ears and he curses himself for it, because he wants to be stronger, still – he can´t help it.  
„Yeah.“  
A few hours later they find themselves at the airport, standing in front of each other, reporters left and right, yelling something in their direction. Neither of them cares how they look, or that the little puppy is running in between them and around. Graham watches from the sidelines, expression calm and collected while Richard leans impossible closer towards Lee, lips pressed towards an ear.  
„Fourteen days. Threehundredthirtysix hours. Not a minute longer, I promise you. I call every damn day. Even if they want to strangle me for it.“  
Lee gives him a watery smile, hands going around and into Richards hair. He inhales the smell of the other man as good as he can, eyes closed while Richards hands are around his waist. The not so subtle cough from Graham reminds the actor that he has to let go to board his flight, so he does.  
Lee watches him, Carl at his feet until both men have dissappered through customs and in the direction of the plane.  
Fourteen days. Threehundredthirtysix hours, Lee thinks, is every damn minute too long.


	15. Phone calls, talks and little lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are phone calls, awkward moments with the neighbours, and maybe friendships will be forged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :) First like to thank you all for your feedback and secondly I would like to ask, if anyone knows where I could find a betareader. I know there are proably tons of mistakes in here, sorry. If you could point me in the right direction I would be glad :) For now, enjoy.

The first day alone is hell. He has forgotten about the laundry still drying and when he sees Richards shirt lying innocently lying neatly folded between his own , he wants to cry. It takes him a lot of nerves to make amends to his dad and he tries to concentrate on work. He manages,though - that is until he looks into a familar face and glares.  
"He is in London as you know so please leave. I am not in the mood to talk to any of you people right now. Or ever , as a matter of fact. "  
Lee knows he sounds gruff and that Dean is the last person on earth who is to blame for the change of plans in Richards shedule, but he is there when Richard isn't. Yeah yeah, life was a bitch. He must look rather sad, because Martins wife has invited him over for dinner and Luke suggested they go and get wasted. His eyes travel to the phone, his mind is already playing tricks on him as he completely forgets the time difference and imagines it ringing.  
"I come in peace."  
Deans says, holding up his hands in what could be judged as surrender.  
"That why you brought your friend with the camera?"  
Dean whirls around, giving Aidan an exasperated look but failing to glare.  
"Nah mate, I just can't leave my baby behind, it's sort of a thing."  
Pressing his hands flat on the counter seperating them, Lee gives a wolfish smile.  
"Would you like to have it shoved up your scrawny a-"  
He stops mid sentence as Mrs.Leibowitz enters with her six year old grandson. To her credit, she closes her mouth after a few seconds, looking scandalized.  
"My boy, were are your manners!" She scowls, dropping the hand of the child at her side, all but marching over to him. She has to stand on her toes to reach his cheek, but she gives it a pinch none the less, much to Deans amusement. She prattles on and on whild her grandson looks bored out of his skull. Lee can't blame him.  
"I meant to ask you, why on earth were you so loud at night lately?"  
He blushes scarlet at the question and the knowing looks the other me give him before he clears his throat for a blatant lie.  
"I, uh I was moving furniture."   
Mrs.Leibowitz lookes unfazed and gives him a smile that is much to sly for his liking.  
"So, that's what you call it nowadays, is it?"  
Lee all but faints, eyes downcast. She has mercy on him, tells him just to keep it down a notch or two before she leaves with her grandson, telling him that they could look for books another time. Aidan and Dean are still there, idly browsing shelves.  
"Look, I - well we came here to tell you that we are sorry about."  
Lee stops him with a glare.  
"You already said you are sorry. What is it that you want?"  
Aidan clears his throat.  
"We are living in the neighbourhood and we were at the airport , so - you looked so sad and we were going to go for drinks anyway."  
Lee looks for deceit but can find none. "Thank you, but I am really.. another time maybe." He finally says, looking at both of them, curioustiy getting the better of him.  
"How long are the two of you together?"  
Dean gives him a blinding smile, telling him gladly that it is nearly the sixth year now. Lee gets dreamy eyed at that, congratulating them and sighing. Aidan squeezes his shoulder in symphaty.  
"I bet he calls."  
The Irish man says lightly before they are on their way, not without having wrung the promise of a double date from him anytime in the future. He chuckles at the thought of what Richard might say to that whrn finally the phone rings.  
"What do you think of matching Queen towels, love?"  
It is an odd opener for a conversation and Richard sounds sleep deprived , yet he is so happy to hear Richard, even if he is so far away. A thing Lee tries to ignore.  
"Don't they have Hello Kitty Ones?"  
He gently teases, eyes crinkling at the thought of how Richard looks at that suggestion. Jn his minds eye he can see it and his lips twitch.  
"I am afraid not." There is a pause, a long inhale before Richard speaks again. "Will you.. I mean, I have no right to push you to anything, but.."  
At the hopeful almost eager tone, Lee has to smile. In a memory long past, he wishes for a phone he could twirl the cord around his fingers instead of pressing a cellphone to his ear. He chuckles slightly, clearing his throat.  
"I got a flight next week."  
Bounching back on the balls of his feet and worrying his bottom lip, he wants to ask something else but finds it in his heart he cannot.  
"I bribed Martin to look after Carl."  
The laugh over the line is distant, yet real.  
"Bribed, huh? I don't want to know, really, love."  
The actor grows more serious then.  
"Is it really okay for you? I'd hate to be the one to put you under preassure."  
Lee tells Richard that he doesn't . In fact he had given the whole thing so much thought that his head still hurt. He can't wait to go and be with the other man, a thing he tells him, too.   
"Oh and that nosy reporter with his boyfriend came by. Did you know they live here?"  
There is a smile in Richards voice as he asks if he should be jealous and goes on , calming Lee and reassuring him that those two were allright, given their professions.  
"I can't wait for you to be here."  
It sounds like a clichè but it is true enough. In the past he would have laughed at anybody telling him that he would someday behave like a lovesick teen.  
"Just a few more days, I promise."  
Lee says, tinged in sadness. It is just a week, they tell themselves, even less than originally anticipated.  
So, why did it still hurt when they had to hang up.?


	16. An accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee flys to London, not knowing that something has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on it goes :) Thank you so much for all your support. As of yet still unbetad but I hope you still enjoy :)

Richard felt as if he would be floating. It wasn't a pleasent sensation. His eyes felt heavy and there was a distant beeping noise in the background. He tried to recollect his memories of the past few hours. They had been filming in the woods, which was only plausible hence they were filming Robin Hood, aside that he didn't remember much. He tried to sit up but the sudden movement made him groan in pain. His eyes snapped open when a warm, trembling hand gently pushed him down again. Lee was looking tired, eyes bloodshot.  
"You are awake."  
There was relief in his voice and Richard frowned. Why was Lee already here - and come to think of it, where in the world was here. He tried speaking again, grimacing at the roughness of his own voice.  
"Your flight? I -"  
Lee swallowed the sob threatening to surface. He always had hated hospitals and seeing someone he loved lying in a hospitalbed without moving simply hurt. Graham had filled him in on the way to the hospital, told him about the accident. He remembered how his heart skipped a beat and how his fingers had gone numb with shock. It was a moment he thought surely he would die, still his pulse was thundering in his neck once he laid eyes on Richard, pale and hurt. A memory he tried to clear away with a shake of his head His shaking hands pressed the button that would summon a nurse.  
"I arrived three days ago and they told me a horse had gone wild while you were filming, that you fell off, got trampled .."  
He swallowed again. That wasn't how either of them had imagined their reunion. Richard tried to laugh about the absurdity of it all, yet found it was quite painful. Once the nurse came in, the actor asked what had happened. Not that he couldn't really feel it. Appearently his left leg was broken in two places and there had been a swelling in his brain from the fall. Luckily the swelling had subsided, unluckily that meant he wouldn't film anything anytime soon. His lips had become a thin white line and for a long time neither of them spoke.  
"I am so sorry love."  
Richard tries, eyes stinging with tears of frustration and pain. He had gotten hurt on the job before but back then, yes back then there hadn't been anyone he would have considered his signifant other. Lee still said nothing. It didn't matter, because there were soft lips pressed to his forehead, a hand in his.  
"Just promise me never to scare the shit out of me like that ever again, okay?"  
The younger man gave him a watery smile, making his lover nod.  
"Okay."  
He says, fingers linking with Lees.  
"How is Carl?"  
Lee knows that Richard aims for distration but he gives in, tells him how the dog will proably have gone through his entire shoe collection by now.  
"They say, if everything comes back okay you could leave the hospital soon. "  
At that Richards eyes narrow. Soon is a word doctors throw at patiens carelessly, wanting to shut them up. At least that was his opinion.  
"I can't believe it. It's redicilous."  
Eyes still slitted and adjusting to the pale artifactal light in the room he tries to lay a finger on what is wrong.  
"Lee."  
His voice, despite being rough, sound stern. Lee looks like hell warmed over and Richard is willing to bet that the younger man didn't sleep or eat much in the last few hours or days by the looks of it. The cast on his leg itches, as does the bandage around his head.  
"Yes?"  
Lee tries for innocent and fails.  
"You look tired. Maybe you should..where are you staying?"  
The younger man gives a small smile at that. Graham had provided him with Richards spare keys. It did make matters worse, because everything there smelled of Richard, if you looked close enough you could see where he liked to place certain things. A sigh tore itself from his throat.  
"I hope you don't mind."  
Richard simply laughs, gripping Lees hand tighter.  
"I bet you went through my sock drawer first."  
Lee gasps in mock outrage.  
"What do you think of me, Mr.Armitage?"  
Richard leans in as far as he can, smirking.  
"Only the worst."  
They both chuckle until a voice from the doorway makes them stop. Graham does look a lot like Lee in the state he is in. His shirt is rumpled, beard unkempt and the bags under his eyes speak for themselves.  
"Joking already, that's good."  
Grahams arms are crossed, his face stoic. Richard knows that look all too well, gulps down something that is close to an apology and nods. His agent - and friend, he gently reminds himself, stirdes over to them, filling in the blanks in Richards memory, finger pointing accusingly at Lee.  
"You two , especially you, bookworm, will drive me to an early grave. Go, sleep. Eat something. I don't want to read anything anywhere of the two of you being hospitalized together."  
Lee has the grace to flush, making Graham roll his eyes.  
"Not like that!"  
Richard just groans, absently stroking Lees fingers.  
"He is right love. I'll be out in a jiffy."  
Lee gives them both that wounded look of a puppy after being told off.  
"I can sleep here ?"  
Like he did the previous nights, if he slept at all, he adds to himself,eyes locking with Richards. The sound coming from Graham is indigant, disbelieving and a little bit resigned.  
"Fine. Whatever. You do as you please anyway, don't you?"  
The knowing look he is given makes Lee flush.  
"I might have come back after visiting hours and stayed. Might, not that I did."  
He rambles, closing his eyes when Richard pulls him forward, smashing their lips together, consequences be damned.  
"You are insane . Both of you."  
Graham mutters with a smile in his voice.


	17. Flights of Stairs,Words unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a first fight and making up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for your overwhelming feedback. I not only have found lovely people here already (including my wonderful beta) but also the courage to write something longer. I decided to post the yet unbeta'd version but will change it later on (as I will with previous chapters) Thank you for your kind comments.

Soon, as Richard rightly thought, meant two more weeks. The only thing that kept him sane had been Lee who, bless him, stubbornly refused to leave his side.. It had been two hard weeks and the first day he finally was able to breathe fresh air again, he had felt ready to cry. Now, there was another problem.  
Both of them stared somewhat dazed up the stairs leading to Richards flat.  
"Well.." Richard started, leaning heavily on his crutches. Frustration was creeping up on him again but he tried to force it down for Lees sake. The younger man looked at him with something that came dangerously close to pity.  
"Shame that I wanted a decent view."  
He remarked dryly, eyeing Lee and giving an surprised squeak - no way to put that in other words - as he felt himself being hoisted up by a pair of strong arms. It was a most carefu gesture, as if not to hurt him any further, yet it made him angry.  
"Lee, put me down!"  
It came out weaker than he wanted to and Lee didn't listen, being stubborn and concerned all at once. They made quite a pair to anyone who would have watched. Him with his leg raised in the air, bandage around his head askew while his arms out of pure reflex went around Lees neck to hold onto something.  
"No."  
Lee confirmed in a tone that brooked no argument. Even if he wasn't exactly heavy the strain in Lees arms had to be strong. His breath came out in little pants and by the time they reached his front door he was sweating profoundly, visibly exhausted. Still, he didn't stop.  
"I'll go and get the crutches."  
Inwardly Richard counted to ten. He didn't want to be mad at Lee, really. After all his partner was only trying to help him. He just felt so damn helpless, being left there alone while Lee turned and began to descent down the stairs again, no doubt wanting to get the accursed crutches.  
"Leave the damn things where they are!"  
It came out as a shout that rang through the otherwise silent house, making Lee freeze on the spot.  
"Okay."  
Lee was quiet, lips a thin line as he opened the door with the spare key, helping Richard to hobble inside, making sure that the actor was seated before he wiped his brow, exhaling audibly.  
"I'll get them later."  
And there it was, he felt like a dick for yelling at Lee but couldn't stop feeling angry at being pampered. He wasn't a child anymore, god damn it!  
"Look, I know ..."  
Lee held up his hand as if to silence him which only led to Richard grinding his teeth, fists clutching at his sides. Anger coiled low in his belly, making him snap.  
"Who do you think you are?"  
The vein in Lees head throbbed, throat muscles working rapidly. It seemed that they were about to have their first fight and he didn't like it. Not one bit.  
"Fine. I am nobody next to you, I get it. Until a minute ago I thought otherwise.."  
Richard tried to move towards Lee, suceeding only in falling forward. Lee caught him before he could fall flat on his face, breathing heavily into his hair. He was trembling, adrenaline rushing through his system.The older man stroked gentle fingers through his hair, closing his eyes as he felt the wetness of what could be only tears seep onto his skin. He hadn't wanted that.  
"I am sorry darling. I am just so frustrated and you mean it well."  
Lee simply sniffed, wiping his nose on Richards collar.  
"I am sorry, too. I know it must be hard on you but I .. back then, in the hospital.."  
He doesn't finish that sentence, afraid it might break his carefully sewn together control. Breathing wetly, still trembling Lee tries to smile. They make it to the bedroom painfully slowly, the day and the fight finally taking its toll on them. If that even classified as a fight.  
"Lee. I didn't mean it."  
Richard says into the darkness of the room, fingers brushing away stray tears still lingering in the corners of Lees eyes.  
"I know that. I was just so scared and I couldn't do anything, so I guess I went all mother hen on you.'  
"Please stop looking at me like that or else I will cry - and your friend Martin will come over here with that baseball bat to finish me off."  
It gets Richard the smile he is aiming for. There are a lot of questions on his mind and he would have loved to get answers to all of them right now but by the time he turns to Lee he finds the younger man fast asleep.  
Lee sleeps for six hours straight. Six hours in which Richard goes out of his skull with boredom, but he is at peace with watching Lee sleep next to him. Suddenly all the surpressed emotions come back, crashing over him like a thunderstorm. His eyes fill with tears, overflow and he buries his soggy face in Lees hair.  
"Hey, do I look so horribly that you need to cry?"  
Richard laughs through his tears. They will be allright.


	18. Sweet mockingbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There isn´t much that can surprise Lee anymore. Well, except that.

„We need to talk.“  
Richard hears himself say over breakfast the next morning, prodding listlessly at his cereal. He doesn´t want to talk to Lee over the previous night, nor the weeks before that, fearing it might upset them both more than either of them can bear. Still, he has to get it out before his already hurting head explodes into millions of pieces. The image has him chuckling, making Lee frown. He doesn´t blame him.   
We need to talk are usually words for people who are married for twenty years or longer, not for people barely knowing each other. They have skipped a thing or two, he dryly realises, eyes still on the toast he stabs with his fork.   
„Oh.“  
Lee says around a mouthful of food, fork paused midair before he sets it down carefully. Talking never lead to anything good in his opinion but he doesn´t stop Richard from doing so anyways.   
„I don´t want you to do that.“  
To say that Lee is puzzled, is the understatement of the century.   
„Do what?“  
His voice sounds flat, afraid. Richard braces himself for the next words leaving his mouth.   
„I don´t want you to give up your life for my sake. It would not feel right for me. I want us to be equals. Also, I wanted to apologize again. You know, for the stupid things I said.“  
Lee nods again, placing his fork aside, eyes focusing on Richards face. He is a patient man, even if it feels like pulling teeth at the moment.   
„I am not a child, Richard. I know what I do and the decision I made was thought through. I would have gone back otherwise, or not come at all.“  
He looks older now, serious. Maybe, Richard thinks to himself, he didn´t make it better with talking but worse. It was true that Lee was no child, not a innocent boy or a love struck fool. They had passed that stage already anyway.   
„What is going on?“  
Lee really wants to know as to why everything has changed so much, but he already does, that is the problem. The press back in the states had been kind, even if that sounded ironic. Appearently here, Richard wasn´t everybodys darling and had a feud with some journalists. He had expierienced that first hand when One of them tried to enter the hospital room in the guise of a doctor one day. Lee had snapped, smashing the camera poised at them without as much as second glance. Graham hadn´t said anything to that, just sorted it with money, giving him an somewhat impressed smirk.   
„I just want to know, if you really.. I don´t want you to get hurt. Those people..they are ruthless.“  
Ah, that´s it, Lee thinks, suddenly with no appetite at all.   
„You talked to Graham, didn´t you? About what happened in the hospital.“  
Richard doesn´t say anything which is quite enough to make Lee shake his head.   
„I am an emotional man, always have been, so what of it if I cry sometimes? What if I want to scream out my happiness to the world if I feel like it, hrm Rich?“   
He had been warned once by his father not to get head over heels into situations like that, into relationships that consumed you wholly. As usual he hadn´t listened.   
„Yes, I did that and I found it stupid. Charming, but stupid because now they won´t leave you alone either.“  
Lee doesn´t care. He tells Richard as much, standing and clearing away the long forgotten breakfast. He has given it to much thought already, trying to wrap his head around what was going on between them. There was something that Richard wanted to tell him, wanted him to know but couldn´t. He had always learned to wait.   
„That is not waht I wanted to talk to you about. There is something different. Something that will come to light soon enough if ..you know about the marrige thing?“  
Lee pauses in doing the dishes, facing away from Richard because he doesn´t want to pry, doesn´t want to be nosy. The slight tremor in his hands gives him away and Richard sighs.   
„Yes, you told me something like that, but please feel free to refresh my memory. Maybe I misunderstood something.“  
It is an opening, Richard knows. Still, his gaze is fixed upon the dining table, eyes closing again as wave of nausea sweeps over him.   
„You have to know I love you, you..“  
A dish breaks in Lees hands, causing a minor cut that makes him all but scream in frustration before he whirls around, eyes gleaming.   
„For gods sake, say what you want to say already! It can´t be that bad. Remember, I hopped in a plan halfway across the world to be with you already, so there is nothing that can shock me. Not after the past few days.“  
Richard wants to believe that, really, he does. His throat doesn´t work for a minute or two. Something inside him breaks at what he is about to say, hell what he is about to do to Lee but he hasn´t a chance.   
„I know that, love. I know. Look, before I had that accident, I got a call. I don´t want to blame it on that, but it threw me. I was thinking, overthinking as always. Anyway, that girl – the One I didn´t really marry back then...“  
Sucking at the cut in his hand to still the bleeding, Lee motions for him to continue. In for a penny in for a dime.   
„It proably doesn´t surprise you that her and me had sex back in the day.“  
It doesn´t surprise him, no. The sting he feels however, is very real.   
„Yes. I shouldn´t feel surprised. For a moment there I was thinking you want to go back to her. Silly me.“  
It sounds ironic, bitter even and Richards stands as fast as possible before he takes Lees hand in his.   
„No, never that. She called me up because somehow she got wind of us, found it interesting.“  
At that Lee can´t help the gurgling laugh bubbling up in the back of his throat. Interesting, that was what they called it nowadays when someones life was on display for all the world to see. Vultures, he thought, bristling at the mere thought about a woman who in the grande sheme of things was to blame for Richards accident. Maybe, the nasty little voice in his mind told him, she could team up with Clark.   
The solace he found was only due to Richards warmth, if nothing else.   
„Go on, please.“  
In a movie this would be the moment where the music swells up to a crescendo, building until the bomb is dropped onto the leads heads. The bomb he is about to drop onto Lee and himself has a nasty ring to it.   
„She found it very interesting that I would have finally come to my senses, all in all she would be happy for me. For us.“  
He can practially hear the music rise and his eyes flutter closed.   
„It would be nothing worth mentioning, she said. And that she wouldn´t be some of those people running to the press.“   
Lee feels out of place, not knowing what will come next. He only knows that there is something in those eyes that tells him he has to tighten the grip he has on Richards hands.   
„She has a son. Cute little fellow. Bluest eyes I ever saw.“  
The air in the room is thick enough to cut into pieces once Richard is finished. Lee is no fool, never had been. His ears ring from the possibilities that opens, yet he tries to joke.   
„Wow, that is enough reason to knock the strongest man off a horse, I say.“   
Richard can´t help it, he laughs helplessly.   
„Well, she hasn´t been exactly honest in the past , so there will be a test of course. I just wanted you to know. It´s...“  
Lee presses their foreheads together in a gesture that is both reassuring and tender.   
„It doesn´t matter, Richard. So you might have a son, so what of it? I mean, I could get used to a little you running around a certain bookstore in New York, if it comes down to that. Imagine all the awestruck noises Mrs.Leibowitz will make. And Carl of course.“  
He smiles brightly while Richard doesn´t say anything to Lee, just holds the younger man closer to his chest, feeling a reassuring heartbet next to his own.   
„I am glad we talked.“  
The actor manages after a while, finally at peace with himself.


	19. Of mornings and coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things need to be talked over, decisons have to be made. Richard makes up his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :) Sorry for not writing anything on the last chapter, but the current heat wave around here makes it hard even to stand up and walk without collapsing. I would like to to say that I simply love every comment, every feedback and that people are really liking this story. I will, later on and as not to rush my lovely beta, replace the chapters having errors with the corrected ones. As of yet I don´t know how long this story will go on, but I really look forward to it growing and developing. Thank you again for your kind and overwhelming feedback so far. It means a lot to me.

Graham looks at him with concerned, tired eyes. The last few weeks have not only taken a toll on Lee and him , he knows. It also doesn´t help that he worries not only about the paternity test but also about the future. He had meant it when he said that he didn´t want Lee to give up his life in the states.   
His eyes flickered about the room, sighing.   
„I was thinking.“  
Graham just stares.   
„Thinking, Richard? There are a few things in the recent past that were`t exactly though through, aren´t there?“  
He sighs, staring out the window over the still dark city. It is too early to have discussions but he hasn´t got the time to do it later because he has to go and talk to the producers of Robin Hood. Richard can´t start filiming again anytime soon, so changes will have to be made, statements will have to be prepared. Yeah, there it is, the familiar headache he feels whenever he finds that he is mad to the point he has to check for foam at his mouth.   
„Yes. You don´t believe how much time you got on your hands when you can´t move your bloody legs.“  
That makes Graham raise his eyebrows but he still says nothing.   
„Thinking again, are we? So you are thinking of him? Of something big?“  
„I am not saying that.“  
Richard replies, eyes darting to the closed bedroom door, faint snoring reaching his ears. He himself is tired, too but he can´t get his body to relax enough to sleep. Graham gives him a wolfish smile.   
„You are saying exactly that. Don´t bother lying to me, mate. I know you well enough.“   
He does know Richard well enough and they have come a long way from just being business partners to real friends. One of few, as Richard had learned the hard way. There were real friends and there were the ones telling you , you would be loved so much, knife already poised and ready to strike behind your back.   
„Do you think he is your son?“   
The question makes him close his eyes for he knows what will come next, after he has uttered what is on his mind.   
„Maybe. I am not sure.“   
Graham just snorts, a hand thrown over his eyes.   
„This is better than All My Children. Except with less people.“  
For some reason that makes Richard angry. He doesn´t voice his anger, though. The last thing he wants to do is wake Lee.   
„My life isn´t a soap opera, Graham. You should know that.“  
And Graham knows, still his eyes are hard and calculating.   
„You are past the age where people need to wipe your arse, or crawl into it to please you, Richard. I am well aware of that. All I really want from you is that you think before you act. If the boy is your son, you will have a responsibility and it doesn´t end with a monthly paycheck. Nor does the man you so readily claimed to love in front of a bunch of press vultures.“  
He held up his hand to silence Richard.   
„I don´t have any doubts that you do love each other and that your feelings for one another are real enough. Honestly , in the beginning I doubted it. But he is no Ginny, is he?“  
Lee, not yet awake, pads barefoot into the room, yawning and streching. That he doesn´t wear a shirt over his loosely fitting sweats doesn´t help Richard focus on what Graham is saying. Instead he curses his broken leg under his breath, standing awkwardly to peck Lee on the cheek.

„Who is Ginny?“  
Lee drawls, eyes still half closed, hair sticking up every direction. Graham snorts again but doesn´t say whom he was talking about. His doubts concerning Lee had been great. Not that the man wasn´t charming, sometimes sickenly cute as far as he had seen vut he had seen that type swarming around Richard far too often. Ginny wasn´t an exception.   
„The woman that called me up. You might want to be awake for that.“   
Richard teases only half heartily, motioning Lee to sit down beside him on his couch. Lee does so, folds his legs under his body, head resting against Richards should.   
„I will be once I get a cup of coffee.“  
He grins, stretches again and busies himself with making a whole pot of coffee, returning to the other men just in time to finally notice Graham.   
„Oh, I didn´t see you there, I mean..“  
He babbles, blushing a pretty shade of red that makes Richard curse his injuries once again. So Lee really hadn´t been awake, that much was sure now. Graham just laughs, shaking his head. He had worried, not only for Richard but also for the younger man in the last weeks. Although Richard was healing, there was still a long way to go. It was typically Ginny Andrews that would throw another wrench in everything, he bitterly thought to himself.   
„It´s alright. How are things back home?“  
Graham knows it is a mean question, that it isn´t fair to pull them both back into reality onto the cold hard ground it supplies. Yet, someone has to. Carding a hand through his hair, Lee avoids his eyes for a moment.   
„Well, I am lucky to have friends that can hold down the fort for a time, but eventually I have to go back there to solve problems my friends can´t.“  
In his darker thoughts he forgets to put sugar into his coffee, staring out the window. He would have said something more, but Richard stops him with a hand on his thigh, warm and reassuring that everything will work out fine, just as he had done before.  
„Actually, Graham, that is what I wanted to talk with you about. I just don´t see my home here anymore.“  
The Brit starts slowly, eyes clear and unblinking. He isn´t joking, this isn´t a test. Lee inhales sharply, nearly choking on the bitter brew he tries to gulp down.   
„I was thinking of moving to New York permanently. What with being an adult that made up his mind, you know, the whole rubbish.“  
It isn´t meant as a jibe but comes around as one none the less. Graham nods, hands going towards his briefcase.   
„I am not your mother, nor will I tell you what to do. I just think that all things here should be settled.“  
Lee clears his throat, making them both look at him as if he had been completely forgotten in the stare down between the two of them.   
„Care to share anything of what you said, because I am afraid I cannot follow.“  
By god, Lee can´t . Here he is, still halfway around from anything that he ever dared to call home, half naked with a famous actor by his side, whom is his boyfriend – and wow, he really should drink that coffee now or his head might explode from all the thinking and spinning his brain does.   
It is Graham that answers his question in a steady voice, eyes fixed on Richard.   
„I guess that is up to Richard to tell you. First and foremost, there is the bloody mess with Ginny. Oh, Ginny is the silly cow who managed to nearly ruin his career in the first place and his life in the second. Has a real talent for that, I must say. Well, and a pair of knockers the size of..“  
Richard throws a hand over his eyes.  
„Graham! Lee doesn´t need to know that.“  
No, Lee doesn´t want to know that but he refrains from telling Richard or Graham so. Once Graham has left, Lee stands on the balcony of Richards flat, gazing into the early dawn, waiting for the sun to rise, hoping his questions will be answered. He tries to ignore the feeling of guilt that arises everytime he talks to Martin or Luke, who simply state that everything is just fine. He doesn´t believe it but is glad for the lie anyways. Richard will be better soon, maybe the cast can come off in a week or two. He is grateful for that, yet that means he has no excuse to stay longer, having already extended his stay for so long. Long distance relationships don´t last a voice sounding like his sister, supplies helpfully, making him glare into his cooling coffee. Without thinking he tips the mug into a flower pot, making Richard chuckle behind him while he lets out an surprised sound.   
„Now, that´s no way to threat flowers, is it love?“  
Against his thoughts, Lee has to join in and laugh.   
„No, probably not. I was just thinking too much. Again.“  
He turns, nose to nose with Richard, staring into his eyes.   
„I am going to ask you only once Richard, so please consider it carefully.“  
Richard who is still leaning on his crutches, simply nods, not saying a word.   
„You spoke of moving to New York. With me. Permanently.“  
The words feel so heavy on his tongue, he can hardly press them through his lips.   
„I know it isn´t said lightly. Hell, I hope that. I really do. Just, if it turns out that he is your son, what happens then? Will you still move, despite what kind of echo it might have?“  
Richard hasn´t taken Lee for a fool once and he knows why. There is honesty in Lees gaze and to extent fear. He doesn´t blame the younger man for it, knows that Lee has a past of abuse and heartache.   
„Yes. I will.“  
Lee smiles so bright that Richard is sure he won´t ever need the sun again before leaning in and giving him a kiss. Long and sweet, with a bit of bitterness from the coffee. Richard doesn´t care at all about it though.


	20. Things to decide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little out of control. Richard might be a father, There are changes and surprises neither of them is prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd the next one, drama baby, drama. I hope you enjoy none the less <3

Ginny Andrews is a person Lee instantly dislikes. She is pleasant enough to look at, but there is something in her eyes that puts him in a mood he can´t place. Maybe it is jealousy, maybe the fear that she could ruin Richards life. It isn´t fair to think such things about people you don´t even know, he is quite aware of that. Still, the way she sits opposite them in the cafe three streets from where Richard lives in London, enrages him.   
She is unfazed, sticks out her hand to him and gives a smile. Lee feels oddly violated but tries to smile for the sake of the kid she has brought with her. The boy looks nothing like Richard, except that he has blue eyes. Many children do, Lee tells himself, wishing he were drunk.  
“I am so sorry about your accident.”  
Her voice is sweet and lovely, brown hair curling around a slightly round face. Lee imagines they would make a striking couple but instead in saying anything he gulps down his wine. Yeah, he is pissed. Really pissed.   
“Well, you would, wouldn´t you?”   
Sarcasm pours from Richard in waves, making her flinch back in her seat, the small child at her side look up at them in confusion. Lee remembers looking like that at his parents when they fought, getting the meaning of it only years later. He doesn´t want to see that happening to the innocent boy and clears his throat.   
“Richard, it is a possibility. I was merely calling you after finding out that Harold couldn´t ..well.”  
Richard slams the cup of tea harshly down on the glass table they are sitting it, leaving a crack in the surface. Why on gods green earth had that to happen to him. All of it? He sighs as the waiter clears his throat, silently pulling out his wallet, scribbling down an ridiculous amount of money that covers not only the damage, but the waiter to not tell anybody what he has witnessed. Richard really hopes it will work.   
“So you decide to come to me after you see the news.”  
At that she gives Lee a look that speaks volumes.   
“I must admit I never would have pegged you for someone robbing the cradle, but we all change, do we?”  
Her smile is blinding as she leans over the table, patting Lees arm.   
“Truly, you are a lovely boy. Maybe a little young, but hey, what do I know.”  
Lee grits his teeth, smiling until his face hurts.   
“Right, you know nothing. If I wouldn´t know better I myself would come to the fabulous conclusion that you are just a bitter old hag who wants money after she crawled out of the woodwork, because she simply can´t cut it. Not that I am saying that, I got manners, mind you. “  
Richard nearly chokes on the wine he was trying to enjoy, punching Lee in the arm. Lee glares at him before taking another gulp of wine. She doesn´t take offense, though. She simply laughs, shaking her head.  
“I must admit, you are quite charming as long as you don´t open your mouth.”  
Her eyes grow more serious, the green in them getting darker, tinged with what Lee only can place as sadness.   
“I am not the person that wants to ruin your happiness. I just want my son to know who is father is, that is all. I did not only call you, there are others, cause you know, I never was a nun.”  
Richard snorts, but nods. No, that was never the case. His hands are shaking a little when he looks at the kid who might be his son, looking at him with bright eyes, telling him that he has a new toy. With pride only a small child possesses. His eyes water, but he blinks the tears away, blaming his emotional state on the wine and the last few weeks.   
“Then why did you?”  
Lee takes over, without thought hoisting the little boy onto his lap, where he promptly giggles and falls asleep after five minutes of Lee rocking him. Richard blinks at that, drinks the last drops of his wine before turning questioning eyes to the woman sitting opposite him.   
“How is your leg? I am truly sorry about that.”  
She says instead, sighing heavily. There is more behind that sigh, Richard thinks while replying that his leg will be fully healed in three to six months if he was lucky and that production is halted until then.   
“Must suck.”  
At that the child between them laughs, brightly and innocent. Lee has to smile, but tries to stay angry at the woman none the less.   
“Yes, it does. Please answer the question.”  
She takes a deep breath, steadying herself before glancing out of the window, then back at Richard.  
“I meant it. I didn´t want to do it, but Harold won´t take him in. He thinks I cheated anyway, the bastard. Can you believe it? I should have thrown his useless marbles in the blender when I had the chance.”  
An elderly woman in earshot looks scandalized, Lee covers the kids ears, even if he is deeply asleep by now.   
“What? Oh he has heard worse. Doesn´t understand it at that age anyway. I hope to that, I really do.”  
Richard holds up his hand, a sickening thought rushing through his mind based on the way she talks. She has always been blunt, brash even. This, however, was something new and he wasn´t sure if he liked it at all.   
“I want James to have a home. Someone who can provide for him, raise him and tell him to shut it when he behaves like a spoiled brat. You know, all those fatherly things.”  
The actor is still at a loss but the direction the conversation is heading isn´t really to his liking.  
“Yeah, well. I don´t see, even if I am his father – which I will..”   
He curses up a blue-streak, wishing for a cigarette right now, curses again because he knows that they are in an non smoking establishment. Ginny rolls her eyes in a way that Richard is still very familiar with, sighing in frustration.   
“I just don´t know how much of a father can be, if it turns out that he is my son. I am an actor, I travel around the world a lot. And I plan to move to New York and eventually marry.”  
Lee feels his fingers go so shockingly numb at that heated declaration that he almost drops the slumbering child from his lap. The woman stares at him, though.  
“Wow, it is serious then. You grew up, I must say I am Impressed, I really am.”  
And a little bitter, Lee notes with slight if childish satisfaction. He will have to ask Richard about the last part of that statement later on, when they are alone. The older man probably hadn´t even notice what he said in his haste to attempt going for a clean slate.   
“I am sure, he will like New York if it comes to that and you are sure.”  
The utter calmness that belies the tension of the situation has him nearly crawling out of his skin. Lee and him had talked about it already, that much was true but it was nothing he would tell her anytime soon. And they had talked about weekends, not forever.   
“I don´t understand.”  
Lee asks into the silence of the room, truly confused. She gives him the same look from earlier. Sad and exhausted.   
“How would you, even if you would like me. I don´t care for that, to be honest. This has nothing to do with you. And I am repeating myself here, it isn´t about the money.”  
In a movement that is well practiced her hand wanders into her hair and pulls, making Lee wonder for a moment if he had a little too much to drink, seeing the hair move. It takes him a minute to understand that she is holding a wig in her hand, deposing it calmly into her lap.   
“If all works well, there is a year to settle everything and I don´t want to die with the knowledge that my precious little son is in a children´s home if there is the chance for him to be with his father. I know it was a bit irrational to call you up at such short notice, Rich , but it was urgent.”  
Richard looks at Lee, the air sucked from his lungs. He doesn´t know what to say, how to react, eyes wide with nothingness. He feels as if that bloody horse would trample over him again, yet he is sitting perfectly sitting upright.   
“And if it doesn´t?”   
She says nothing, glad for the waiter that interrupts the awkward silence between all of them.   
“Would you like to order dessert?”  
She rights the wig as if nothing serious has happened in the past few minutes. Richard decides it is the perfect time for chocolate cake.


	21. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those things, they don´t just pass you by, but you learn to cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I had to get that out today, whew. I hope you all have a nice weekend and still enjoy this story :* Have a wonderful weekend.

It takes Richard two hours to calm down enough to be able to speak again. He is angry, terribly so. At the world, at himself and at fate. His eyes focus on Lee who just looks at him, willing to give him time.  
“First, she drops on me that I might have a son and now that?”  
He knows it isn´t fair of him but he just doesn´t give a shit right now about how loud he screams into the fading day, or why Lee doesn´t say anything to him.  
“I mean, really. It isn´t enough already.”  
At that Lee sighs, eyes taking in Richards hunched over form.  
“It isn´t fair. I know that. Life never is.”  
Richard smiles humourlessly, lights a cigarette and looks at the ashes falling onto his very expensive carpet. Well, shit.  
“Don´t be a smart ass, Lee. It doesn´t suit you.”  
Lee takes the cigarette away from his trembling fingers, herds him to the bathroom in fluid motions, as if he never had done something else in his life before he softly speak.  
“I am not. Tell you what, I help you undress and we take a shower. That helps me a lot, maybe it will work for you to.”  
He is amazed at how calm Lee is through all that is happening to them, has happened to them. The younger man tests the water, gives him a small smile. Richard doesn´t warn Lee as he lunges forward, presses himself so close to Lee that they are both under the slightly to cold shower, fully clothed.  
“Lee.”  
He rasps, voice unsteady, emotions running high in the one word that is only a name. The sound of it belies that there is more, trembling hands gliding into Lees wet hair, trailing the soft curls at the nape of the younger mans neck. Desperation is a feeling he knows, has feasted on many times before but never quite like that. It breaks something in him, something that wanted to crawl to the surface a lot earlier but didn´t. There is a feeling in his chest, right behind his breastbone. An ache he cannot name, burning hot and cold all the same.  
Here they are, both drenched to their bones, clothes heavy and weighing them down and wouldn´t it be for Lee, he would have fallen on his ass already.  
“Lee.”  
He tries again but his mouth goes dry, leaving not enough breath to utter another word. Lee understands well enough, clutches at Richards shaking shoulders, holds him steady in a world where he feels like he is sliding off and falling. Falling forever, drowning to never surface again. He cannot do that, cannot name what is eating him up alive. Yes, he did want a family, was excited once in his life before all the shit went down to have adoring eyes looking at him with love only a child can give a parent. Not like that, though. Never like that. His mind is conjuring up images of him holding onto a tiny hand on a cemetery, trying to find the right words and failing despite being an fucking actor. His body wants to glide down, wants the water to wash over him until everything makes sense again. Yes, he wants to swim away from reality, wants to hide in a bubble that is save and laugh about the absurd nightmare he had.  
“Shh.”  
Lee says, presses a finger to Richards lips. He is trembling, too because the water has gone cold and he isn´t wearing much despite a shirt, already soaked through. His jeans cling uncomfortably to his thighs which lets him instantly know it will be a pain to get them off later. Still, he doesn´t move, just holds Richard up as long as he can, partly out of will, partly out of stubbornness.  
“I am.. You are..”  
Richard feels like as if he would be in a loop, trying to apologize over and over again for all the things he has done wrong in his life, how he had pulled them all down with him, ruined so many lives because he is just so fucking difficult to handle. His breath comes out in harsh pants, wetness covers his face that he isn´t sure comes only from the water raining down on them.  
“Richard.”  
Is all Lee says and it speaks volumes. It says in a quiet way that they will be alright, that everything that comes will be hard, but that they will survive it. Lee knows, Richard remembers, how it is to lose someone you once felt close to and he knows how to lose someone you love. There is strength behind those eyes now that make Lee look older than he is. It is as if they are pulled from the shower in his flat into a different universe, sucked out of time and place and all Richard can do is hold on so that he doesn´t crash to the ground and breaks into a million pieces.  
“Richard.”  
Lee tries again, painfully aware that they both will most likely catch a cold if they don´t move soon.  
“It isn´t fair. Never will be and when you remember it later, it still will feel as if someone has stabbed you. It hurts, because it is real, not a fancy movie, not a cheap soap opera. In reality, in this here – there is you and me, and fuck it all, we will make it.”  
Richard doesn´t know where Lee takes the strength from to shut off the water while pulling him closer, trying to melt them into One being, but he does have it in him. His low, soothing voice paints pictures in the blue eyed mans head. A house in New York, far from the maddening crowd, a little lake in a garden, two stories, high ceilings so that they don´t hit their heads. It speaks of seasons changing, idiotic Christmas sweaters you pretend you like, even if you hate them with a passion. Of a child that could run around said house, playing with an overly joyful dog.  
“I don´t know if I am that person, Lee. I have a real bad track record.”  
Lee raises his eyebrows, quirks a smile.  
“So have I. It is not what we are, isn´t it? It is what we will become.”  
The American grabs a stack of towels, tries to help Richard to dry his hair, all the while keeping a string of words flowing between them. He tells Richard of the giddy feeling they both will have if they really marry, of rings and promises and his sisters horrendous dresses she thinks are high fashion although they are not. Of burnt steaks and family dinners. Pillow fights in the middle of the night and Richard can see it all in front of his minds eye, clear as day.  
It takes another two hours until they are both dry, reclining on the bed, mindless T.V commercials blaring in the background that sleep finally comes, blanketing them both from the harsh light of day.


	22. Of doubts, fears and kisses made to last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is much to do, yet they both feel it will be alright - even if they are scared shitless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again :D Our boys journey continues, while a thunderstorm rages outside my window *hehe* Thanks again for all the nice feedback so far and feel free to let me know what you think, like or dislike.

Lee talks to Martin once he has made sure Richard is fast asleep. He cannot see Martin but he is able to imagine how Martin looks at the phone, trying his best not to rip the thing out of the wall out of frustration.   
“You attract the train wrecks, don´t you mate?”  
It is good to hear Martin again, it makes him smile even if he should feel insulted. He laughs softly into the receiver, eyes gliding to Richards sleeping form before he wanders into the kitchen, searches for coffee and gives a silent shout of triumph once he finds they still have some.  
“Well, to be fair, none of that is his fault, now is it?”  
Luke shouts some obscenities in the background making Lee shake his head.   
“You let Luke stack books?”  
Now, there was one thing Luke and him had in common, they were both a tad on the clumsy side of things, not that it mattered much, still it amused Lee a lot. Martin just gave a snort.   
“Yeah, well I am not the one who´s willing to break his neck for the salary you give me. Luke however can move his scrawny ass a bit for the amount of money you stuffed into his pockets.”  
Lee cannot help it, laughs outright at Lukes protest in the background before he grows serious again.   
“Martin. I – thank you.”  
Another snort comes over the line, no doubt accompanied by a dismissive wave.  
“Just raise my pay and everything is alright. I know you won´t do that now, hell you can´t afford a decent employee but if I heard correctly, you will soon be the proud owner of a house? Wearing a fancy ring around your finger?”  
Martin never was someone to beat around the bush. The things Richard said had scared him to the bone. The words that were so sure, so serious. Real. Something in his chest flutters hopefully against his ribcage and he doesn´t even try to squish it. Why would he have to anyway? He is happy, finally grounded. A realization that makes him swallow around his coffee, trying to process everything at high speed.   
“Yeah, about that. I don´t know if he meant it. I mean he was really upset.”  
Hope, he has learned is best drank in little gulps. It doesn´t help if you fly so high when you aren´t able to control your fall. Crash and burn flits through his head before he can help it.   
“Oh believe me, he meant it. A guy like that doesn´t joke about it. He would have left otherwise and never come back. Oh by the way – you two renovated?Leibowitz, the old bat, told me as much. Good to know you finally do something to the place.”  
Lee can feel the leer Martin throws his way and blushes a deep shade of red.   
“Martin.”  
He whines like he always does when Martin nails the point.  
“Lee.”  
Martin imitates him with frightening accuracy before dissolving into a fit of giggles.   
“I just think we should, I dunno – do you mean I should ask him if he meant it?”  
“Yeah, that will go over well. I can just see it now. No, really, Lee you just should let him come to you again to bring it up. You say he was upset, let him calm. Not about the house though. The other thing, I dunno. I am not you.”  
Lee knows that his friend is right but he feels still wired up, sighs into the receiver again until Martin asks him if he would get paid for that by the minute or the hour, if Lee would understand. Lee only flushes deeper and tells Martin to can it.   
“That´s my boy. I am not really much of a help right now, I know. All I can say to you is just the crap my wife reads in those books. You know the ones we sell to people who fucked up their lives or are still living in their mothers basement at the age of forty.”  
An image that makes Lee cringe. He knows all too well what Martin is talking about and swiftly changes the subject. Martin isn´t always joking. Lee knows him long enough to know that the older man has a darker side to him, too. While at first he was furious that Martin had messed with his business he now felt a wave of thankfulness. He wouldn´t have gone after that tape, he wouldn´t have said some of the things the other man let out in the world. It comes from Martins past, no doubt. A hard man, born out of need and willing to protect those he loves so fiercely that it is downright scary.   
“So the question of what you would do is out of the way?”  
“Yes.”  
Lee closes his eyes, sighs again and hangs up after they talk about something not so heavy. God, he is tired. Tired of running around at a speed he isn´t used to and never will, tired of thinking. If he could he would just lay down for a day or two and catch up on sleep. Once again in the bedroom he glares at his reflection, wondering by the way he looks to himself what Richard ever could have seen in him in the first place. Its not fair, he knows. They both look like hell warmed over due to the little shower incident. With bones that feel to heavy to stand, he flops down next to Richard, giving a surprised sound as a pair of strong arms pulls him close.   
“When the cast comes off, I will come back to New York with you.”  
Richard says into his hair and Lee swallows. So, he meant it. It feels good. His lips seek out Richards, kissing slowly at first, getting a bit bolder every moment.   
“We should stop.”  
Lee gasps.   
“We should.”  
Richard agrees without stopping at all. Lee can feel the tension in his body shift, move to other regions and closes his eyes on a moan.   
“Really, your leg.. your head. We are insane.”  
Richard grins at him, licks his lips.   
“I never said anything else, did I?”  
No, he hadn´t and Lee is fine with that, absolutely fine.


	23. Little secrets and bigger steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Richards cast comes off. And a few of Lees secrets to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go guys :D Thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and comments, it really helps me feeding my muse. At that point I like to utter a special thanks to **yuuwaku** , **blackbird** and **bloatedblond**. You guys are all awesome :) And everyone else here is so lovely  <3 thank you

The cast comes off a week later and Richard groans in relief so obscenely loud that it makes Lee flush, ears turning bright pink because his brain helpfully supplies very different scenarios than taking of a cast. He watches in slight fascination how Richard stretches his leg, grinning.  
“We can finally dance.”  
He says with glee and Lee groans inwardly. Dancing. How in the world is someone his built and talent to knock over each and everything in his wake supposed to dance? Richard must have hit his head a little bit harder than Lee thought, or so the American tells him in a teasing voice.  
“I am glad you can finally walk again, Rich.”  
Richard grins and walks over to him in the doctors office and even if it is a bit unsteady the actor manages. His arms wind around Lee a little bit tighter than strictly necessary or appropriate but he doesn´t care at all, pressing his lips to Lees ear.  
“Yeah, me too. You know, there are other things despite dancing we could do.”  
Lee gasps a little, turning crimson and shaking his head to get rid of the images it supplies, trying to think straight for a minute or two.  
“So, you will fly to New York with me? Back home?”  
Richard nods.  
“I will not stick around for the test. I know it sounds cruel but I just cannot do that at the moment and waiting for that would only cost me the nerves I don´t have anyways. Filming starts again in two months, so there is a stretch.”  
It comes out a little bitter, but Richard just can´t help it. Lee tries to go for comfort and reaches for his hand when the door opens and the doctor comes in again, Graham in tow.  
“Gentleman. I beg your pardon , but I think it is best for you to leave through the back entrance. I am awfully sorry.”  
Richard sighs. Some things would never change. He is also thankful for Graham who decided to pick them up, bring them to a cheap hotel at the airport. It turned out the waiter he had so generously tipped, couldn´t keep his mouth shut. So there was press, trying to get a statement of a possible love child and the prospect of him abandoning said child for – and he nearly choked on his tea the second he read it – a hot U.S lover boy. It was all Lee could do not to sink through a hole to ground. At least he wished for it.  
“It´s alright Dr.Sopperstein. Really. I appreciate it. We both do.”  
Richard says with a tight smile, arm going around Lees waist. It would be easier if there wouldn´t be three movies out with him in them, but there is a prize for everything. Wordlessly Graham hands a pair of sunglasses to Lee who feels ridiculous.  
“Trust me, you will need them.”  
They are out for about half a minute when microphones and cameras are shoved at them, one directly into Richards face. Richard in front of the press is not the Richard he knows, Lee notices again. He seems colder, although the warm press of the small of his back steadies him while the actor gives short statements in a clipped tone, that yes – he will leave permanently to be with the man at his side. He ignores the catcalls for a kiss, just stares ahead. Lee thinks that is quite okay, because – really, he isn´t able to see anything at all. The lights are blinding, something he is glad for.  
“Mr.Pace, is it true that you worked as an nude-model back in collage? Also, what about the drug issue that came up. A very close friend of you told us.”  
Lee remembers with a certain horror the few sins he ever committed. Well, they weren´t really sins in his eyes and would never be to anyone who would judge someone by something they did in collage, yet those people seemed to be fine with that. Richards grip on his waist tightens.  
“I don´t remember having good friends that would be spreading lies about me, but yes. I did pose for a drawing class back in the day.”  
He admits, glaring through the sunglasses, feeling Graham squeeze his left shoulder and Richards right.  
“As always a pleasure with you lot. Now move it, we do have a schedule to follow. Excuse us.”  
They make it to a cab and Lee, once seated next to Richard in the back, presses the palm of his hands against his eyes. It is then he hears it. Richard laughs. He laughs quiet at first, then louder until tears spill out of the corners of his eyes. An ugly snort leaves his mouth but he doesn´t even try to cover it.  
“Nude modeling for a drawing class? My, I must say I would have expected anything, really anything but not that.”  
Lee buries his face in his hands, squeaking something out that sounds like a plea towards Richard to stop talking. Graham eyes them in the rear view mirror and chuckles evilly.  
“I have to say, Richard, those are some lovely pics. Nothing the poor lad has to be ashamed off. His friends, that is a different matter.”  
“Oh my god.”  
Lee croaks out, his face growing from warm to hot as Graham nonchalantly hands them the newest copy of the SUN. Granted, the picture is small and censored in certain places, still Lee is mortified. Richard makes a soft sound in the back of his throat, eyes flying back from the picture to the man at his side.  
“There is nothing you need to be ashamed of, ever.”  
Graham breaks the spell by declaring that he might get a toothache any moment if the two of them won´t stop. Lee on the other hand nibbles his bottom lip, eyes level with Richards.  
“I am not ashamed. I am just mortified that those people pick my life apart and shove it in my face. I did that because I needed the money. I did want to save up for a trip around the world back then, hiking in exotic places.”  
There is wistful smile on the younger mans lips and Richard decides to kiss it away. Graham just shakes his head.  
“Keep it in your pants, will you? We are almost there anyway.”  
They chuckle in unison before Richard grows more serious.  
“I am sorry you are reminded of it that way. It is a nice dream, though.”  
Lee just nods, resting his head against Richards shoulder, eyes closed for the rest of the cab ride. Apparently all of his belongings have been packed and sent to the hotel, too. He has to ask Richard how exactly that was possible but decides it has time once they are in the spacious hotel room. Naturally the bed is too short and his feet dangle off the end, his arms outstretched at his sides. Lifting his head he opens his mouth on a question.  
“What?”  
That is when Richard pounces.


	24. Room with a view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys get comfy. And there is porn, I guess. If you can call it that - enjoy :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold, we have cracked the 30.000 words mark. And here I was thinking "Let´s write a little fic." Yep. Consequent, aren´t I ? ;) Anyways, thank you for all your lovely, lovely support so far <3

Richard is faster than he should be for Lees taste, so he stops him by trapping him with those long legs of his, eyes dark and lids heavy.  
“Don´t hurry. We have time, don´t we? ”  
He says in a teasing desire filled voice that is a notch or two deeper from his normal one. There is longing in his words, eyes focused on Richard, who just growls at him.  
“Time is a thing I don´t want to consider right now.”  
The actor murmurs, eyes fixed upon Lee, hands on the younger mans pants, trying to make him spread his legs. Lee just gives a giggle once Richard begins to tickle the soft skin under his navel but doesn´t loosen his hold.  
“Really? I thought time was on our side and all that.”  
Lee just can´t help it, lets out a soft moan once Richard _squeezes_ and throws his head back. Something like that isn´t fair he thinks, twisting away from clever fingers and turns pleasure filled eyes to Richard, legs an ungraceful tangle once he gives up on stopping the older man from advancing. He won´t make it easy on him, despite the throbbing need he feels himself. It takes a moment for him to stand, eyes dark and breath heavy until he can form words, hand trailing down his still mostly clad body.  
“Fuck time.”  
Richard murmurs, hands grabbing for Lee and Lee just smiles, dances out of his grasp and makes a disapproving noise, pursing his lips, before he starts to strip slowly.  
“Now, wasn´t it you who said I should try for patience?”  
There is a laugh in his voice but he stops it from emerging, eyes mischievous and wanting. He wants so much right now but doesn´t say a word, has the nerve to wait.  
“Fuck patience.”  
Richard grits out and Lee laughs just a little at the remembrance of that statement before all but dancing around Richard who is prone on the bed, grinning while the older man glares.  
“Someone told me once that patience is a virtue or so. Do you recall that?”  
There is teasing in his voice, light and sweet as he comes back again, stark naked and Richard wants to savor the sight of it all. The light bouncing off that body, the soft hair sticking up and falling in Lees face at the same time. He wants it all, even if it looks clumsy when he shimmies out of his clothes, hisses as the fabric of his pants gets caught around certain places. Yes, he wants.  
“Come here.”  
Richard hears himself say, needy and vulnerable, hands stretched out as if he wanted to hold onto something, needs to do so because his sole existence has come down to that one single moment.  
“What is it you want, then?”  
The question comes out softly but firm. It has many layers to it and Lee looks at him as serious as any naked man could at a moment like that. Palms sweaty and the noise of the airport behind him Richard focuses his gaze on the man in front of him, stretches as far as he can.  
“You.”  
He tells Lee in a voice that is a mixture of honey and gravel, eyes bright. Lee just smiles, steps closer and lets himself be drawn in, ready to drown in whatever way Richard chooses. Despite the urgency that occupied him earlier, Richard takes his time in exploring every inch of salty skin he can get to with his lips, hands pushing Lee against the headboard of the bed.  
“You are all I want.”  
The older man hears himself repeating, moving backwards on the bed, lips attaching to the part of Lee hard and ready, making him throw back his head with parted lips.  
“Richard.”  
Lee gasps out, head moving from side to side as clever fingers come and join an also clever mouth but Richard doesn´t stop until Lee cries out, cheeks flushed. The hands splaying themselves on Lees chest are warm and gentle, teasing in a way that brings tears to Lees eyes after a while. Richard just kisses them away before placing himself in Lees lap, eyes serious.  
“I want you to love me. If that is okay with you?”  
Lee knows the significance of the simple act, hands gripping gently onto Richards skin, gliding down and around, fingers going back to Richards mouth.  
“Okay.”

He whispers in a world sometimes far too loud, but it isn´t now. Now, there are only their heartbeats in this room, subtle pleasure filled noises. He will remember the way Richard trembles against his body and how he feels on the first tentative push of his fingers. The way his mouth opens and closes on a moan when he finally finds that spot and the raw emotion they both seem to feel when they finally connect.  
Lee feels himself shaking as if he would break at any second but Richard just takes his face into both hands and plants kisses on his skin. The colour in Lees cheeks rises as a sound leave his mouth, needy and wanting. Richard doesn´t hold back himself. It might have been a while since he was on the receiving end but there is nobody else in the world he tells Lee in sappy love struck words he would be willing to give himself to. Lees breath catches and tears start to well up in his eyes without spilling.  
Like everything Richard does, his movements are full of grace. He lifts himself up with care before lowering himself again, making them both gasp in unison.  
“Lee.”  
He whispers against wet lashes a moment before tracing them with his tongue, eyes heavy lidded and mouth emitting soft pants as he draws closer and closer, hips stuttering. His hands fist almost painful into Lees hair and Lee flips them , sliding away and out, a sharp moan wretched from his lungs.  
“Be mine.”  
Lee hears himself say with something close to desperation before sliding in again, his whole body trembling. He has to stop for a moment, take a deep desperate breath, eyes full of fire before he starts to move again, faster, harder until the whole bed shakes under their movements and Richard is all but clawing at his back, leaving red stripes in his wake. It is too feverish to last as long as they both want and once Richard clenches around him, Lee lets go on a shout that Richards echoes soon after, face still flushed, while he coaxes Lee gently back down, relaxing himself. His eyes are bright and shining when Lee throws him a smile that is accompanied by a slight blush.  
“I am yours now. Means you are stuck with me.”  
Richard whispers into an ear, fingers splaying on Lees back, a regretful noise leaving his throat as Lee finally rolls off of him.  
“Stuck with you, I like that, despite the horrible, horrible pun.”  
He indicates with an finger pointing at the mess they made. 

“God, you are something else, aren´t you?”  
Richard teases, before pulling Lee into another messy kiss .  
“Nah, just yours.”  
Lee replies, arms gliding around Richards frame and Richard doesn´t know what to say to that, just keeps on tracing patterns into Lees skin that he will deny resemble a heart or anything as sappy while staring out of the window, listening to Lees breath slowing.


	25. Of houses and homes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is dinner - and house hunting starts. Also..fluffy times ahead <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our journey continues :) Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy <3

House hunting it turned out, was even more delightful when you were jet lagged and the real estate again had a shrill voice, telling you everything in an overly bright tone, that made Richard wonder if he wanted to have a house at all.  
His gaze flickered to Lee who at the moment was busy trying to control Carl and looking around.  
“I don´t think Carl likes the place.”  
He let out a bit breathlessly, making Richard roll his eyes. It wasn´t that he liked the place, really – it was too much of Hollywood meets the Addams family on crack but he at least didn´t blame it on a dog. Well, he didn´t have the chance and it made him envy Lee.  
“Carl? I thought your name is Lee?”  
There was another thing that Richard disliked about empty houses. There was simply nothing that he could bang his head against. Lee just smiled sweetly, hoisting Carl up.  
“This is Carl. I think we are looking for something not quite ..uh..”  
Richard couldn´t simply take it anymore.  
“Something that doesn´t scream porn and dungeons when you enter.”  
The walls were purple, for gods sake. Purple! A colour Lee turned in the blink of an eye. It was the third house and Richard felt bone tired, also there was the whole paternal test tragedy in the back of his mind. As if Lee could read his mind, the younger man stepped towards him, Carl securely tugged under one arm, the other hand tugged around Richards waist.  
“You don´t like it then?”  
Richard tried not to scream in agony for all their sakes, shaking his head at the woman in front of them. She meant it well, but there was a finish line to his politeness and he neared its end at rapid speed.  
“I think we just have to look at something else, sorry.”  
He congratulated himself on the smile he threw her, letting Lee lead him towards his car, climbing in and sighing heavily as the promise of a house for them, the next one being _the_ house for them was thrown after them. Even Carl didn´t seem to believe it. It starts slowly, the laugh in Lees throat, tugs at the corners of his mouth and escapes in a burst once they hid the road.  
“You bastard!”  
Richard snarls with fake rage, slapping Lee on the shoulder. Lee still cannot help his cackling for the next twenty miles and is thankful once they reach the bookstore again. He needs a little fun in his life, after being through all that and having to fill in his friends face to face on everything they didn´t already know. It was quite scary, to say the least.  
There is a slight cracking noise in Richards back once he moves and he lets out a moan of frustration once he is able to flip down onto the armchair in Lees living room.  
“I am sorry. It was too expansive anyways.”  
He tries for damage control but Richard only snorts.  
“All ugly things are but that is not what this is about, is it? You want to ask me something else entirely, don´t you?”  
Lee pales but nods. It is scary how well Richard can read him even if they aren´t together for so long.  
“Yeah. You know, I like to pack my things myself, not having them shipped after me. The fact of somebody going to my undies is ..well.”  
Richard knows what Lee means but he doesn´t feel sorry for the way he wants to pamper Lee. If he could do so every minute and second he would, so he tells Lee exactly that.  
“That is sweet of you, it really is but I just want to do those things on my own, even if you mean it well. Nothing against a little pampering aside that.”  
For the first time in days Richard smiles, takes Lees hand in his and grins before pulling Lee into a hug and kisses him. He wants it to stay innocent for now, so he pulls away.  
“What kind of house would you like then? I mean.”  
“Something with wood.”  
Lee says without thought and Richard wriggles his eyebrows.  
“Oh god, did I say that out loud.”  
Richard gives him a shit eating grin, confirming that he indeed said it out loud but there isn´t much time to be embarrassed for Lee because Richard just squeezes his hands more tightly, stroking his wrists.  
“I think it is lovely, the way you want to do everything just right. I wish I could do that so easily like you but I am just not like that.”  
Lee chuckles.  
“Believe me, it is hard work to make such a fool out of yourself.”  
The American remarks dryly, legs splayed awkwardly around Richards waist, angling for the newspaper.  
“I think we should wait a few days, look together for what we want.”  
Richard chooses his next words carefully, hands stroking Lees back.  
“What is it you want then? Do you even want a house? You know, I could be a really messy person, driving you mad with my desire to leave my dirty clothes everywhere.”  
Lee grins.  
“Oh, I do want that. And we could hire a maid. Or Martin, even -oh shit!”  
He jumps up, nearly knocking Richard over in his seat.  
“What?”  
Richard asks in alarm, confused for a moment before it dawns on him. They had been invited over by Martins wife for dinner and they were – give or take, an hour late.  
“Damn I knew we forgot something!”  
As is on cue, Lees phone vibrates again.  
“Martin.. I am so..”  
He hobbles through the flat, searches his shoes and accidentally bumps into Richard who also hurriedly straightens his clothes and stares at Lee in amusement.  
“You know, if you weren´t my friend and probably making up for lost time with that bloody git, I would be really pissed. As of right now, can you make it in twenty minutes?”  
Lee bites back the smile. It has been a long time since he has been at a friends with a partner, and he can´t help the giddy spring in his step as Martins wife is absolutely smitten with Richard who lays on the charm a tad to thick, handing her a bottle of laughable expensive wine as an apology.  
“So, you two are moving in together?”  
She asks, watching Lee flush as Richard confirms that they will do that.  
“You know, it is good to say Lee happy again, he wasn´t so happy for a long time.” She says politely , smacking Martins hand away from the lasagna.  
“Ow! What the hell was that for?”  
She gives him the stink eye, serving Richard a larger bite than he is willing to eat, doing the same for Lee.  
“For your manners, the non existent ones. Behave yourself in front of our guests.”  
Martin grins evilly, stuffing his face until he can barely press out the next words.  
“You know, she is only saying that because she saw one of those flicks were you bare your ass and she really liked -ow!”  
The spatula hits Martin square in the face, much to Richards amusement. Not that he has anything against Martin he is just fascinated at the warmth the whole situation gives him, grabbing for Lees hand under the table, grinning like a love struck teenager.  
“Did you? I am very flattered, I must say.”  
They uncork the wine ten minutes later and Richard helps with the dishes before the settle into the living room. Lee doesn´t say anything for a while until he grins at Richard, alcohol making him bold.  
“You think we behave like that when we are married?”  
Martin all but chokes on his dessert, to fascinated to swallow and bless his wife, slapping him on the back so he can listen to Richards answer.  
“We might.”  
Richard says and Lee gives him a blinding smile.


	26. Just a question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard asks a question. Lee answers

It takes a lot of time and patience to find the house that is right for them. Not only the decorations or the prize is what has them arguing while doing the dishes – it is life that gets the better of them at times, funny as that and Lee has to smile through it all once he remembers Richard glaring at him while wielding a sponge like a sword. Everything will be okay, eventually.   
Oh, he knows it is hard for them both. After all , he vis no fool and never wanted to be branded as one. The bookstore isn´t doing as well as it could but he knows how to make it through the month and even tells Richard so. There is something else, they both know it – have decided to ignore it for the time being. Only time is a tricky thing that creeps up on you when you least expect it or want it to.  
Lees eyes are fixed on the letter in Richards trembling hands before he takes it gently away, eyes not leaving the face of the other man, twists and turns it in paint encrusted fingers. It takes time to renovate, takes nerves to do so and he doesn´t even mention the puppy running around them at the most unfortunate moments. His eyes flicker to the water bottle, to the glasses sitting next to it – he feels parched from not letting his eyes shift lower.  
“Everything will be alright.”  
He says and has the feeling that he isn´t only speaking on behalf of Richard. He speaks for both of them in the vain hope that everything will be finally okay, finally that everything will be okay for them all.   
Minutes tick by, seemingly endless but he doesn´t say a word even if he desperately wants to do so.   
“I am not the father.”  
Richard finally utters and it breaks something in Lee that Richard sounds so defeated, so utterly crushed at the confirmation that he hasn´t got a child of his own. He feels too young and old at the same time because he never wanted children, at least not that way. They look at each other, eyes glassy and Lee thinks that it might be well one of Richards movies as he eventually manages to stand up and get them something to drink.   
“Lee.”  
He presses out, wants to apologize and be mad at the younger man all the same, because really what right has he to – never mind, his brain tells him when Lee drops the glasses, shaking gently with suppressed emotion and he rises from the place they were sitting in a minute ago. Their house, he reminds himself and he has the grace to feel a rush of shame for a moment as his legs carry him towards Lee.   
“I am sorry.”  
Lee says in a meek voice, sucking on a bleeding finger, eyes averting Richards. Richard links his arms around the slim waist of the man he has come to love so much in the last few months, smiles at him with all the feelings he can muster before shaking his head at the situation they are in.   
“There is nothing you need to be sorry for, darling. I want you to know that. I want you to know..”  
And there it is, the lump forming in throat about the question he has danced around a lot in the past few weeks and month, even years. It wants to get out.   
“I want you to know that I practically fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you. Falling into my arms, well that was neatly timed.”  
Lee can´t help it, he laughs, brushes a kiss to Richards temple, feels as giddy as if he is about to be asked to prom even if this is something more. Much more and so much more serious. His heart flutters in his chest, tries its best to burst through his chest.   
“Yeah, sneaky thing, I am , aren´t I?”  
The younger man tries for coy but Richard looks right through the charade and cuffs him on the back of his head, grins before planting a kiss on soft plump lips he has learned to adore. And love. Everything between them, he realizes is born from love. He ignores the part of his brain telling him that it is so corny.   
“Yeah. You are. That isn´t what I wanted to ask, though.”  
For gods sake, he is an actor and yet his voice feels heavy, tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. Eyes on the long discarded letter, shreds of glass at their feet and sprinkles of paint on both their faces he tries to find his courage again.   
“You want purple wallpaper after all?”  
Lee teases, aiming for playful and succeeding, much to his own amusement.   
“No, you git! I was trying for a serious thing here, god!”  
Lee knows by heart that they should take it serious but he also knows that it isn´t the way they are engineered. Richards arms around him feel warm, hold him in place when he thinks that nothing else can – and sappy as he is, he tells the older man exactly that.  
“You aren´t making this easy.”  
Richard grumbles, chewing his lip and finding the floor so very interesting. Was that speck of paint always there, or did they cause it to drop? Well, it isn´t purple at least. Lee feels right. Warm and save, real.   
Yes, that must be it. Lee isn´t one of those people wanting to be with him because of the image he portrays to the outside world. Frankly, they have seen the worst of them already in the little time they are together and even if it still is lightning speed, he is sure.  
“Richard? You´re still with me, right? Not that I broke you, or something like that.”  
Lee only half jokes, forehead resting against that of his boyfriend. It seems to be a word that isn´t appropriate for someone like Richard because he is so much more. If someone would have asked Lee about that all a year ago – he would have laughed at them and thrown something after them.   
“Lee, I got trampled by a horse, so there isn´t much that could break me.”  
Okay, that came out wrong, Richard realizes at the sharp intake of breath, looking at the ceiling above them as if it would hold an answer at what to do next. It won´t work like that, he thinks, loosens his hold of Lee and goes down to One knee.   
“Oh my god.”  
Lee shouts and whispers at the same time, hand flying towards his mouth. This isn´t real, is it?  
“I have no words as to how fucked up I am and I am bloody terrified of everything that lies ahead. I never file my own taxes but – will you marry me?”  
Lee opens his mouth, closes it again and swallows. His eyes dart to Richard who is fumbling at his pocket, retrieving a single silver ring. Nothing spectacular but planned none the less.   
“You planned this?”  
He croaks out, eyes brimming with tears of joy. Now, Richard was never a patient man and he grits his teeth, nodding feverishly.  
“Yes, I did. So, what do you say? Answer the bloody question will you?”  
Lee feels the weight of the ring pulling him down and under to somewhere he doesn´t know where the journey will lead but he also is aware of Richards eyes, heart hammering against his ribcage.  
“Yes, I will.”


	27. This is home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They wanted to paint the place - until Richard got destracted. Lee blames it on Richard, Richard on Lee. What can you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again :) Thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos <3 It´s really helping me a lot and makes writing this so much more fun.

The bottle of wine Richard had brought with him to ease his weariness caused by his plans, still stands corked on the floor. There is no furniture yet but he can imagine that they both will have a say in what to place where and how their touch will be visible to everybody visiting them. It took him a while to mull things over, to decide if he really wanted that , because if anything the last thing in the world he wanted was to hurt Lee.  
It was clear to him then that he wanted much more than a simple romp. It disgusts him to a certain degree that he even thought of that in the beginning but casts it aside, pushing Lee down gently onto the floor, strips him until he wears nothing but the engagement ring around his finger. The need to take a picture of the man, bare and flushed and _his_ roars in him like a caged animal, but he pushes it aside and begins to strip himself.  
He doesn´t really recall how they ended up like that but there was something more he had wanted to do once Lee had wiped his forehead, a drop of paint on his nose and Lee had given him a look that promised something more exciting than paint.  
_“Ah.”_  
Is all Lee utters, damp curls falling into his face, legs trembling on Richards shoulders, face a mask of wanton pleasure. Richard wishes for a painting of the sight and again his impatience gets the better of him, body bowing over until his lips can reach a teasingly erect nipple. He can´t resist.  
“Is that what you want? Me?”  
Richard briefly wonders if Lee will get tired of his constant asking, but he cannot help it, is burned and scarred and has been left behind to die all too often.  
“Yes.”  
Lee hisses around slick fingers, sure and strong, never a single bit of doubt creeping into his voice and Richard wishes that he could be like that. Bravely innocent, daring without the cruelties of life etched into his soul.  
“Yes, Richard. I do.”  
Lee confirms again and Richard watches him writhe, voice caught on a whimper once they are connected. His eyes focus onto the gleaming metal again, hips picking up speed until Lee cries out.  
“You like that, darling?”  
Richard barely recognizes his own voice at that moment, his hands grabbing at Lees thighs, pulling closer, ever closer until they are flush against each other and Lee stifles a cry against the palm of his hand.  
“No.”  
Richard says with determination in his voice, lacing their fingers together. His warm fingers blaze against the cold material of the ring but he doesn´t mind, has only eyes for Lee.  
“I asked you something, answer me.”  
His voice is stern, demanding. It isn´t like him to be like that, because he wants to be gentle, caring - _loving._ Still, he just needs to know, needs to know that they have finally made it through it all, that the marriage will only be the icing on the cake and nothing else.  
“Yes.”  
Lee gets out, eyes watering on a sharp thrust, mouth opening on a scream that echoes in the house, bouncing off the walls so loud that everybody around the block can probably hear them and knows what is going on. It gives Richard a certain dark pleasure, movements getting rougher.  
“You are mine.”  
The Brit grits out, fingers tangling in sweat slick hair, teeth biting into Lees full bottom lip. He wants more of that feeling, more of the glorious heat and the madness that drives him to edge of sanity. The hands on his back will leave scratches, he is well aware of that but doesn´t find it in himself to care.  
“Anybody lays a finger on you, I will fucking kill them, love. I will skin them alive if it must be, but nobody hurts you.”  
Lees eyes widen, cheeks dark pink and lips trembling as a hand moves to Richards cheek, strokes over flushed skin, reassures him that everything is good. More than good. Amazing -the word shoots through his brain and Richards voice washes over him until he lets go, is a trembling writhing mess on the warm floor. He clings onto the older man as long as he can, catches his breath and gently coaxes him to let go, too.  
Lee never wants to move again and Richard wants to agree but they both have to. He grimaces as he wriggles back into his pants, stretches and glares a bit at Richard, cheeks still slightly red.  
“Don´t look at me like that! That was your fault, I blame you entirely if we move in here and not one single room is finished.”  
Richard just chuckles.  
“You do know that there are always two people to this, don´t you.”  
Lee just slaps his chest playfully, frowning.  
“What?”  
Richard says, confused.  
“Nothing, I just have the feeling that I have forgotten something.”  
As if on cue his stomach grumbles and drops for a moment as he realizes what exactly he has forgotten. With a grace, he doesn´t know he possesses , he opens the front door, Richard on his heels.  
“Care to tell me what is going o- _oh_ ”  
Now, Richard isn´t someone easily embarrassed but there are moments in his life when he wants to be invisible. There a park bench in front of their house, really lovely place to sit. It has done nothing to them, just an innocent inanimate object, really. The cause for Lees blush are the two men sitting on it. He had invited them over, seeing as Aidan had offered to take the wedding photos for them and Richard wasn´t mad at them either, them being the only two journalists he actually liked. It had been a joke back then, of course. Now the whole thing was more serious.  
“Your fault.”  
Lee mutters accusingly but Richard just bites his lip, hand at the back of his neck.  
“I brought dumplings from that lovely Chinese place down the street, you know. Dean here thought you might be hungry, after all the _work_.”  
Dean swiftly elbows him in the ribs but can´t hide his shit eating grin either.  
“Yeah, well – thank you.”  
Richard mumbles, taking the bag from Aidans fingers with shaking fingers, eyes firmly fixed on the grass. Grass is interesting right now.  
“Oh.”  
Dean says, eyes fixed on the ring Lee wears and gives them a blinding smile.  
“Congratulations, man.”  
He says, slapping them both on the shoulder as Richard herds them all inside, before adding in the most innocent tone he can muster.  
“You might want to invest in some furniture, you know. I hear it dims the sounds you make.”


	28. Meet the parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard meets Lees father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :) Have a lovely weekend and enjoy :) (I am positively sure, this story will reach the 40 to 50k mark at some point. I did say short, didn´t I?)

“So, the two of you are really tying the knot?”  
Dean says around a mouthful of wine, staring at them in a bit of amazement. Lee just wriggles his fingers, ring glittering in the sunlight filtering in through the windows. He winces a little at the movement because his back still stings and he will need a shower in the near future but he doesn´t comment on it even if Dean throws him a look that speaks volumes.   
“Yes, no need to sound so surprised.”  
Richard can tell, however that they are. He is a little surprised himself, never in a million years thinking that this all could happen to him. He too, winces once he stands because his leg sometimes still acts up. When Lee gives him a worried look he just shakes his head.   
“Everything´s just fine, love.”  
His voice sounds sure although he sometimes feels the pain so much he wants to weep in frustration. Without a doubt Lee is able to see that he is lying through his teeth.   
“That reminds me.” Aidan pipes up, eyes glinting dangerously. “McTavish knows about that yet?”   
The way Richard flushes tells the younger man that Graham doesn´t know and the picture it paints in Aidans head once yet another bomb like that is one making him wince in sympathy for Richard.   
“We still have to tell our families too.”  
Lee helpfully supplies, earning a dark glare from Richard.   
“I don´t think we have to do anything if we don´t want to. It´s not like they have a say in that.”  
Lee will ask later what that is about but for now just nods, standing and clearing away the leftovers of their dinner. Richard curses inwardly, follows Lee after hastily apologizing towards the other two men.   
“Lee.”  
He says, standing in the kitchen not yet ready to be cooked in, eyes locking on the younger mans face.   
“Richard.”  
Lee imitates him going as far as striking the same pose. Arms across his chest, leaning against the sink, mirroring the older man.  
“There is no reason for you to be mad. I just think, you know my family and me. That is a different story than with you and your folks, I guess.”  
Lee gives him a tight smile, eyes flicking towards the doorway where Dean and Aidan pretend not to listen to them and fail.   
“I wouldn´t know. And I am not mad.”  
Dean throws Aidan a look.  
“Oh boy, he is.”  
He whispers and Aidan nods, turning away and tugging at Deans sleeve so that Richard and Lee would at least for the moment have a bit of privacy.   
“Lee, I didn´t mean to offend you. I am just not willing to let people who don´t give a rats ass about me and never will. I am not willing to let them ruin my happiness.”  
Lee doesn´t look convinced but he is willing to try, willing to believe that Richard is telling the truth. They are both grown up and not children that run around holding hands without a care in the world. Suddenly he wishes to be just that. A child, mindless of any tragic or thought in the world, heart on his tongue. The sound of someone clearing their throat makes them both look up.   
“As nice as this is, we have to get going.”  
Aidan says, bravely stepping into the room and handing each of them a business card.   
“Call me if you have made up your mind about the pictures. And please don´t kill yourself before the big day, that would be daft.”  
Well, the man was blunt, Lee had to give him that, but he was right and once the both of them had left he wrapped his arms around Richard, telling him that he was sorry for being an ass.   
“You know, I like your ass, it is a damn fine one.”  
Lee can´t help it, he chuckles, grimaces as he is yes again reminded of the sticky pants with the movement.  
“What do you say if we get back to the apartment, shower and change before discussing anything else? I very much would like to get that all done before filming starts again.”  
There is no way that comes out romantic, but life seldom is and they both understand that well enough Once back at the apartment they shower and dress in more casual clothes for the rest of the day. Lee winces again.  
“I am sorry if I got a bit carried away.”  
Lee just flushes, scratching the back of his neck and licking his lips.   
“I am not.”   
He says, making them both a cup of tea and coffee, patting Carl absently, nodding and making a decision.   
“I don´t know about your folks, but do you want to meet my dad? I mean, if you want to, you don´t have to but I guess he really wants to see you – not only in a magazine and – yeah?”  
Lee rambles, palms sweaty, and Richard falls in love all over again because he cannot help it and doesn´t want to. He nods, hugs Lee tight to his chest and strokes the hair, still wet from the shower out of his partners eyes.   
There are a lot of things he expects from Lees father. Surprise. Disbelief maybe. Silence isn´t one of them. Silence that ticks on for a moment, stretches quietly into eternity and disappears when the man finally speaks.   
“It is kind of you, Mr.Armitage, to fill me in, seeing as my son doesn´t want to do so out of his own Will.”  
Lee looks like a little scolded boy, eyes on the carpet of the room they are sitting in. Richard squeezes his hand.   
“That´s not true, dad.”  
He mumbles, still not looking at his father, feeling horrible. It is the feeling he had on prom night back in the day and the look his father gives them is much the same as it had been back then.   
“I assume there will be a marriage contract, won´t there ?”  
At that Richard just blinks. This isn´t going the way he had imagined at all.   
“Beg your pardon?”  
Pace Senior sighs, rolling his eyes that resembles Lee much more than Richard would like at the moment before he stands up, moves around and goes in search for his cigars. Lee pales a little because he knows it means something is serious. He has a fine recollection of the occasions his father has smoked those things. To make it worse, there are two cigars placed in front of them.   
“Oh you heard me, son. I do understand that you your lifestyle is a bit different from ours.”  
He points between Lee and himself, all but staring Richard down who takes the offered cigar and lights it up. Lee refuses, lips in a thin line.   
“You might stop want to look like that Lee. Your face could stay like that if you aren´t careful.”  
Richard as to smile, despite himself.   
“We haven´t discussed that and frankly - I think there is no need for that. Lee and I have both our income and I honestly can´t imagine..”  
He is interrupted by a hand that is held up, takes a drag on the cigar to ease his nerves.   
“I must say, I did a lot of reading on you. Now, I am nobody who judges and god knows, most of the things in this magazine is a load of crap the size of Texas. Still, they do have a bit of truth to them, don´t they?”  
There isn´t much to say to that, the man does have a point.   
“Dad, Richard isn´t like that.”  
His father sits down heavily again, patting his nose.   
“You said that about Clark, didn´t you? God I should have shot that bastard when I had the chance.”  
Lee does want to say something to that but hasn´t got it in him to bring the subject up the way his father stares at them both like a teacher finding out that some of his students cheated on an exam. It makes Lee furious   
“You know what, this was a mistake. I thought you might be happy for me.”  
His father blinks at them, taking a drag from his cigar.  
“I am. And – I am sorry about the accident. I hope you are feeling better?”  
Richard just nods, thanks for the question about his well being, the wheels in his head turning already.   
“I just think it would be wise to be prepared if something happens. I was foolish once, you know. All living on love and air, seeing everything to rose tinted glasses with your mother. And you should know how that worked out.”  
Lee knows. The lump in his throat forms but disappears again.  
“Maybe you could go to Luke, if you don´t trust me. He is a lawyer after all.”  
The awkwardness doesn´t ease up, even after they leave and Lee feels tired. Really tired.   
“Why does he always do that to me? He has no right to say things like that about you.”

Lee feels miserable, eyes drawn, jaw set tight. Stubborn, the older man thinks fondly. Stubborn and lovely and his. In time, maybe he will understand what his father tried to say but couldn´t. For a moment he wishes that his parents would have been like that with him, but pushes it aside. That is a thing for another day. Richard, wanting to comfort Lee, just grasps his hands, fingers entwining and throwing one last glance over his shoulder at Lees father, glancing at them through the window.   
“He does that, because he loves you.”  
And suddenly Lee is okay with that, wiping at his eyes and Richard pretends not to notice that, slinging an arm around his waist. It wasn´t that bad, he concludes, a smile on his face on the way to the car.  
“What?”  
Lee asks in a curious voice.  
“Well, he can´t hate me that much, seeing as I don´t have any bullet holes to show.”  
The way Lee laughs at that, reassures Richard that they are okay.


	29. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The green eyed monster strikes, fists fly and why is life always so complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear, dear readers. Thank you so much for staying tuned, leaving comments and kudos. It makes me really happy and I am more than glad if you still enjoy this "short" story *hrhr* Until the next chapter :)

Richard likes Lees father and the tales Lee spins of the mishief his sister and him caused in their childhood makes him think a lot about his own family. It isn't that they hate each other or that there is drama worth mentioning. They have just grown apart is what he thinks, quietly going over his script again while watching Lee mull over paperwork with Luke. He tramples down the sharp tug of jealousy as Luke ruffles Lees hair, grinning at something Lee says.  
It is childish, he knows as he clears his throat and walks over to them casually, plopping down. Lee grimaces, pointing at the piece of paper.  
"Taxes."  
He simply says, looking down again. Luke takes that as an excuse to stand, tugging Richard along,telling him something about the house needed discussing. It is nothing but a blatant lie, he knows but Lee is too distracted to notice. Also , there is the fact that Richard is curious as to what Luke really wants. Luke is a good looking man, has the time to check up on him more often because he simply can. It nags at him sometimes although he tries to push it away.  
"I know we kind of got off the wrong foot." Luke starts, eyes fixed on Richard and looking for something the actor can't lay a finger on. He snorts as he registers what Luke is saying.  
"You don't say."  
Comes out of his mouth before he can help it. It could be the famous green eyed monster he tells himself, slightly laughing at himself. Luke quirks a smile, which surprises him to say the least.  
"It's true, you know. If he were interested , I wouldn't say no."  
Richard feels his blood boil, eyes blazing dangerously, arms crossed over his chest, gaze flickering to Lee who is about to finish what he is doing. Richard makes sure that they are out of his earshot, manhandels Luke until they are in the store and not in the back office. He gives Martin a curt nod,lips drawn up into a snarl.  
"That's all you want to tell me, you wanker ? "  
He feels something furious in him when Luke smirks, punches him in the mouth before he can control himself. Lukily there are customers and Martin doesn't notice what is happening in the childrens book section. Well, fuck irony Richard thinks. Luke just wipes his mouth winces.  
"Guess I got that coming. It really would help you, if you would listen, you know. I said if. He isn't. He made that very clear, in fact he reacted a lot like you."  
Richard wants to punch him yet again at the implication but this time Luke is faster, ducks out of his way and into the fantasy section. There are a few people staring at Richard but they are polite enough not to ask him anything.  
"Is that all?"  
He asks again and Luke shakes his head.  
"All I am saying - and boy, I will regret this., Lee doesn't just bring anyone to visit his dad. Especially if that someone .."  
He stops himself as a little boy tugs at Richards shirt, handing him some book about dragons to sign. With an inaudible sigh Richard fulfills the request, throwing the kid a smile. He nearly jumps out of his skin once Martin speaks from behind him.  
"You know, I will pretend that I didn't see that mate. Or hear anything for that matter."  
Richard glares down at Martin for a moment. Those people were really a bunch of - He stops mid thought. _Family_ is what they are to Lee. It is clear as day and it makes Richard shake his head in something close to shame. Nibbling his bottomlip he eyes Martin wearily.  
"You think I should go and apologize to Luke?"  
Martin just snorts at that.  
"Hell no, he had it coming."  
It doesn't reassure Richard one hundred percent but he nods, shuffling into the more private quarters of the store, peeking through his fingers as if that would help him to avoid meeting Luke again. His worries were for nothing,seeing as Lee is alone.  
"Hey"  
Lee says on a yawn, stretches and grins at him, frowning at Richards expression.  
"Do I have something on my face? First Luke tails off with the lousiest excuse ever and now you look at me like someone stole your treasure or - oh no."  
He seems more awake now, almost angry. No, not angry. Nervous. Why is Lee nervous? There shouldn't be a reason for him to be nervous.  
"Did something happen between the two of you?"  
Richard knows he must look like a fish out of water, gaping and gulping for air.  
"Huh?"  
Granted, it isn't the word he was striving for but nothing else does want to come out at that very moment. Lee just looks at the floor, rubbing his nose and finding the floor so very interesting.  
"Is this about the kiss?"  
Richard feels his stomach drop but he can't help it, he has to ask. His hand shakes when he grabs Lees chin in his hand, tilts Lees face up so they are looking at each other. Lee looks as if he is about to cry.  
"Oh god, I am so sorry, I really am and now you hate me and never want to talk to me again."  
This feels wrong. Especially because Richard doesn't know _what_ is happening. His thump strokes over Lees trembling bottom lip.  
"I...Luke misunderstood something when you had your accident. I was so damn lonely and he offered to come by, support me. Make sure that I don't die because I don't eat, what with you being in the hospital."  
He looks angry again, brows tightly knit together.  
"Damn nurses didn't want me to stay."  
He blinks, eyes wet and Richard wills himself to listen before he shouts or pushes Lee away.  
"One day he just leaned in and kissed me. I mean really kissed me."  
He flinches as Richard lets go, hugging his arms around himself. The lump in Richards throat forms and wanders up to his eyes. Not good. He is a sucker for pain, must be- he tells himself.  
"And?"  
Lee blushes scarlet.  
"I punched him in the nose and told him if we want to remain friends, he better should keeping his organs to himself."  
It is so absurd that Richard has to laugh , so relieved that he tugs Lee close and presses a tender kiss to the younger mans lips.  
"I am proud of you darling, I am."  
Lee sniffles a bit.  
"You are not mad?"  
Richard ponders , gives it a minute or two to go through his thick skull before he shakes his head.  
"No. Jealous, yes. Posessive, certainly , but mad? Not at all."  
There is something else that made him mad at Luke. The accusation, how mild it may have been of him being a coward or ashamed to show his love for Lee to his family. There were bridges between them ,long burned and he had never really looked back , even if there never was a bitter word. He was guessing all of them had their own lives now. They talked sometimes, sure. Other than that?  
"Rich?"  
Lees quiet voice brings him back to earth.  
"Well, he might be an arsehole to me, but he does have a point."  
The next breath he takes is long and a bit painful, uttered against Lees lips.  
"Would it mean .. I . Would you like to visit my family with me? Come to London when filming picks up again?"  
Lees eyebrows climb up his head and he steps back a little.  
"If you want that. I know that Luke has a way of meddeling but I don't want you to feel preassured into something you don't really want, even if I think you are very sweet to offer something like that."  
Richard blinks at that.  
"I want that. You are the first person in this world I want to do that with - or to, for that matter."  
His face feels hot as Lee laughs and they kiss again, losing all sense of their surroundings until Martin comes in, curses.  
"When you two silly lovebirds are finished with your snogging , I would like you to know Pace, that you have work."  
The lovely shade of red Lee turns to is reason enough for Richard to waylay Lee again with a lingering kiss before he regretfully steps back. It takes a moment in solitute for him to get his phone out of his pocket, stares at it as if it could bite before he tapped the screen and dialed the number of his brother.  
It was a first step after all.


	30. Travels, Shovel talk and more parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard takes Lee to meet his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally the time has come where Lee meets Richard parents and our little story continues. Again, thank you so much for your feedback, your lovely comments and I really hope you still enjoy this :)

The first thought that comes to Richards mind when he hears his brothers voice is the memory of them both running berserk in dark streets, getting drunk and sick afterward while being much too young to do such things.   
The thoughts of a life long left behind and his hands start to tremble, eyes closing. For a moment there he wants to hang up, chicken out of the whole thing.   
“Hello?”  
It´s the same voice egging him on to finally jump into the bloody pool, to try riding that too large bike already and not being a wuss.   
“It´s Richard.”  
He hears himself speak after the eternity of thirty seconds, throat tight.   
“I am getting married.”  
Beating around the bush was one thing he always had been bad at and apparently still was. His brother is silent for a moment and the fear that Chris might have hung up on him clutches at his heart like an icy fist.   
“I can read, Rich. How is the weather?”  
Well, he wasn´t expecting that or the snort that comes over the line, followed by a string of curses that would make any sailor blush. He is glad Lee is working and cannot hear a word of that, or see his red face nor the way he fiddles on the collar of his shirt.  
“Uh – now that is out, the weather is fine I guess. We are fine.”  
He adds as an afterthought. Chris is quiet again, inhales audibly.   
“You know mom saves the clippings of you, and there are huge binders of them in the office dad pretends he doesn´t own or look at. News articles and the likes. The whole crap.”  
Richard feels like as if someone would have punched him in the gut, but doesn´t say anything else on the matter. He should say that he is sorry, but he isn´t. Not really in the way he feels he should be and he briefly wonders if that makes him a bad person. Discarding that thought, too he clears his throat.   
“So, you want to bring him home? This isn´t exactly going to work over the phone, you know Richard.”  
Chris, as always is right. Digging mentally through the schedule for the next week or two, nods and curses himself.   
“Well, I would like to. I think that is what he wants.”   
The voice on the other end of the line is quiet and for another terrifying moment Richard thinks that he has messed it up for good this time.   
“And you, Rich? Is that what you want? I mean, you and dad had your differences but it´s never been about anything but acting. We were worried, all of us – even if we don´t shout it out in the world, you know that.”  
Richard feels emotions welling up in him again, startled as a pair of arms comes around him from behind. Despite the heaviness of the conversation he smiles against Lees cheek who whispers that he could escape Martin for a minute or two and needs a break. An excuse, Richard knows but he is grateful.  
“Rich? You still there or are you distracted by that guy you snogged on the cover of that rubbish?”  
There is amusement in his voice and Richard is relieved beyond anything, ignores the flush in his cheeks, gently disentangling himself from Lee. And Lee pouts. Damn. He has to concentrate.   
“Ehh...”  
Very mature, very reassuring and bloody stupid.   
“Mum wants to pinch his cheek, you know. She thinks he is quite lovely. “  
There is slyness that Richard knows from his childhood, waits for it to come and be delievered.   
“Course you know that best, inside and out, don´t you?”  
It takes him a lot to not drop his phone, wheezing and making Lee frown but he just shakes his head that everything is okay. Martin hollers from the front, signaling that Lees break was over. Employees, Lee mumbles and Richard gives a heartfelt chuckle before he can really help it.   
“I do. I mean wanting to come. We will have a blast.”  
It is not long after the conversation that he has to remind himself that he loves Lee. Really loves him, because Lee is excited. Excited means that he gushes about wanting to see the sights he had missedd due to the happenings last time around and that he can´t wait to meet Richards family and eat all the things he had read about. For a moment there Richard curses Lees profession but he has to smile as they finally arrive in Leicester and Lee is still happy, if tired, arms around each other like the lovestruck fools they are.  
“Riccccccccccccchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie”.  
A shrill voice bellows at them from the garden and he can´t manage to get anything out as his nephews, nieces, their father and an overly joyful cat come bounding up to them and the momentum of gravity pulls them all down in a messy heap. Lee just laughs about it while Richard plucks grass from his hair.   
“Well that was a nice welcome.”  
He says, feels a bit nervous once he registers all eyes are turned on him. Richards father is a quiet man, slightly gray haired and nearly as tall as himself.   
“It is nice to see my son finally happy. Even if he still hasn´t got a real job.”  
Bless his mother for smacking his father on the head with a spatula and his acting training for not giving away how much that still hurt. There is no menace behind it, but there is disappointment and that stings even more.   
“You boys must be tired.”  
They both want to deny it but when Lee yawns, Richard soon follows. His mother shows them to the guest room and her warm kind eyes linger a bit longer on her son. He knows there will be more talking come morning, or later that day but he ignores it for the time being, trying to rest for a moment, face buried in the sweet smell of Lees hair.   
“They are a bit loud, granted but you come around.”  
Lee is awfully quiet and Richard wonders for a split second if this all is too much, to soon as he turns, eyes burning into Richards own.   
“You are a great actor. I love the way you can dive into a character. Hell it terrifies me at times, but I guess that is good. I know it´s not the same coming from me but I thought .. you just had to know.”  
There is that adorable and determined pout again and Richard can´t help it, he kisses it away. Lee , despite his best intentions falls asleep not five minutes after. He stretches, feels as if he is about to go into war and snorts at the mere thought. He will talk to his _father_ , for heaven´s sake. His feet still know the way around the house and his nose picks up the smells of his mothers cooking, despite for him being away for so long. His father sits in the study, eyes trained on the newspaper and posture tense. Well, at least he wasn´t the only One gearing up for something. He plays nervously with the ring on his finger Lee had insisted to purchase for him, because how on earth would it look if only he himself would wear one.   
Naturally his fathers eyes zoom in on the slim silver band.   
“Sit.”  
He says, without raising his eyes, folding the newspaper in a way that drives Richard mad with the desire to tear it to pieces.   
“I must say, I am glad you are here. And well. This might have always seemed like the end of the world for you, but it still is your home, isn´t it lad?”  
Richard feels like as if he would be fourteen again but his father goes on, not giving him the chance to cut into his stream of words. It is by far the longest conversation with his father he can remember.   
“Now, you know me, I am bit thick headed, stubborn – or so your mother says. Usually the spatula underlines that. Those things didn´t change. There have been changes, I get that and what´s past is past. So if you love the boy, so be it. “  
Silence befalls them and Richard clears his throat for the umpteenth time, closing his eyes. There is still something his father wants to say, something that isn´t for childrens ears or the delicate heart of his mother.  
“The marriage thing – getting that from the newspapers, that is one thing. It shocks you a bit, but love is love and I don´t give a flying fuck about what those tossers write anyway. Plus, he is pretty. Actually Jennys friend _cried_ about it being unfair that all the good looking guys are batting for the other team. Teenagers, what can you say.”  
Richard doesn´t say anything, puts his face in his hands and waits. This isn´t over. Far from it by the look his father gives him and brings out a bottle of whiskey.   
“Reading however, that your son nearly _dies_ is a different story. Not a word, a letter – not even a bloody text. Were we such horrible parents? Tell me, what did we do wrong?”  
The glass in the older mans hand shakes but he is turned away from Richard, looking out into the garden. Richard helps himself to a glass, downs the liquid in one go.  
“No. You weren´t. Aren´t. I just wanted another life and not – not.”   
He stops, stutters, feels like he is far from his age.   
“Not this life. A different one. Oh for fuck´s sake.”  
His father just gives him a stern look but refrains from saying anything, chuckling. There will be time to discuss that further in the next day.  
“What?”  
Richard wants to know, peering out into the garden. His nieces, he notices, have not only roused Lee from his sleep, but also managed to rope him into being their model for flower crowns. Something blooms in Richards heart at the sight, swells and shows on his face.  
“Oh I know that look. I used to give that to your mother. Speaking of whom.”  
The older man grins darkly at Richard.  
“I can´t wait until tomorrow. Your mum might look sweet, but she can be quite nasty. If you ever tell her I told you that, I will shoot you, you hear?”  
Richard just laughs, curious as to what his dad means because he can´t make sense of it. It occurs to him before breakfast because Lee is a little pale around the nose and not due to the food he sees on the table in front of him. Once they have five minutes to themselves, Lee tugs Richard into the garden, quietly leaning against a tall tree.   
“Your folks are lovely.”  
He begins, biting his lip, eyes anywhere but on Richard.   
“Even if you mother threatened to – and I quote here because I don´t know what the hell that means – if I ever would hurt you, to cut of my bollocks and bury them in the garden with her shovel.”  
Lee shudders at the mere thought but Richards eyes dance with laughter, hand on the small of Lees back as he herds the American back inside the house for breakfast.  
“Don't worry, darling, she won't. Firstly, I don´t think you ever would hurt me on purpose and secondly, I am very , _very_ fond of them.”  
It takes Lee until lunchtime to stop looking like a ripe tomato once he learns the meaning of that word and Richard falls in love all over again.


	31. Truly, madly, deeply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a party and dancing. Well, that sums it up :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to let them stay at Richards a little longer, as a side note. We´ll see what happens there *g* Anyways, thank you again for all the lovely feedback <3 Hope you guys enjoy.

“John. I have never seen him this happy.”  
Richards mother says on the next day to his father and Lee pretends he doesn´t hear the tears in her voice marking her relief that finally something is right. There have been a lot of things in Richards life apparently that weren´t and he squishes the childish urge of wanting to change them all. You couldn´t go back in time, he knows that but sometimes he just wishes he could.   
“Me neither. It´s good on him.”  
Lee hears Richards father say from his place in the lounge chair, feet dangling over the neatly trimmed lawn at which he just had to smile for a moment. He can´t help it, listens while waiting for Richard to come back from running errands. He would have helped but his lovers mother swiftly had put a end to it because he would be a guest, how could someone imply their guests had to _work_ at their house. Richard had grumbled a bit but had refrained from saying anything.   
“Lee darling, would you come in here.”  
Richards mother calls and Lee blinks a moment at the easy way it all fits, stretches and walks barefoot into the house that feels like a second home already. He knows he shouldn´t get so attached so fast but he ignores everything that seems remotely unhappy for the time being.   
“Can you hand me down the sugar?”   
She points at the highest shelf with a glare at her husband who just rolls his eyes in a manner Lee reminds entirely to much of Richard.   
“Yes Mrs.Armitage.”  
She smacks him lightly in the arm, eyes blazing with humour.   
“Magaret, darling. Mrs.Armitage is making me feel old.”  
Richards father just snorts but is saved as Richard comes back from his shopping, looking for all the world like as if he would have run a marathon. He might have done so by the way he glares at the bags, wiping his hands on his jeans.   
“Nobody killing anyone at the moment?”  
He grins, giving Lee a peck on the cheek, ducking from the swat of his mothers hand. One can ask, can he not? His mother informs them that she – to celebrate and punish Richard on the same day, invited a few more people. Mostly family. Lee feels nervous until Richards hands is linked with his. It still feels fast but so right he blinks away the sudden tears he feels gathering in the corner of his eyes when Richards father gives him a strange look.  
“You alright son?”  
He asks and Lee just nods, helps setting up a table and turns to Richard, eyes bright.  
“Thank you.”  
He says and Richard doesn´t know how to respond in any other way as planting a kiss on tempting lips, which is of course the moment his mother thinks is best to snap a picture of them, making Richard flush.  
“Mum!”  
He exclaims in a voice that makes Lee giggle behind his hand. He knows that tone of voice but has never heard it from Richard or imagined Richard being capable of it anyway.   
“Richard!”  
She says in the same way, muttering something about children being children however old they may be. This house is never quiet, someone always running around, laughter everywhere and it makes Lee sad. His home wasn´t like that. Well, not always. A thought he pushes away, eyes glittering.   
“Is this too much for you?”  
Richard asks and Lee just shakes his head before getting a determined look on his features. Lee thinks he is in for the worst as music begins to fill the garden full of people and Richard is on his third glass of wine. There is a lovely flush on his cheeks Lee decides after _his_ third glass to kiss away once they have a private moment. Richards strong hands drag him out into the garden where the music gets louder and people are dancing. _Dancing_ Lee thinks with utter horror but can´t protest as he is whirled around by Richard, protests just kissed away.   
He must be beetred again but doesn´t find it in himself to care as Richard quietly sings into his ear. He hasn´t gotten to see that side of Richard yet and it thrills him, makes him want him so much more. Not the thought you should be having in a garden with children present but lord help him, he does. The hands on the small on of his back all but burn through his shirt, making him stumble more than he does anyways, much to Richards amusement. The people around them are clapping, laughing heartily as they finally fall down into the grass, struggle to get up for a moment before resuming their dancing.   
If you could call this dancing, anyway. Lee doesn´t want to see himself right now – cheeks bright pink, a glass of wine pressed in his hand by Richard who accidentally _on purpose_ brushes his lips against his tender neck, making him shudder.  
“Get a room!”  
Someone yells from the distance and Lee glares as Richard laughs, twirls him around until he feels dizzy, laughing until tears pour from his eyes. This is crazy, but the right kind of it, all things considered. Richard however, just licks his lips, sliding behind Lee and whispers into his ear again. No, he doesn´t whisper Lee realizes, the wine making him all warm and mushy. He _sings_ And Richard does have a lovely voice while singing rather husky _Truly, Madly,Deeply_ into his ear. It should sound innocent but is far from it. After another hour of mingling and an embarrassing trip to the bathroom to right himself, Lee decides it is time to do something. Or someone, his alcohol infused brain supplies helpfully.   
“Ladies and Gentleman.”   
He starts, mouth feeling a little numb as all eyes turn to him.   
“I am afraid Richard and me will have to call it a night. He promised me to tell me all your dirty secrets, so I think we can be excused?”  
He so hopes Richard will play along and he won´t make a fool of himself. Richard just grins wolfishly, nods and winks, catcalls and whistles following them on the way into the house.   
“Ah, young love.”  
One of Richards aunts says dreamily around her piece of cake and Richards father just snorts, giving his wife a look that says it all.


	32. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard decides to show Lee his old room. Well, he tries to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies, on we go. Thank you again so much for all the support :) Until next time.

They all but fall through the door of their guestroom, wild giggles escaping them both when they try for the bed and fail, landing in an ungraceful tangle of limbs on the soft carpet . Lee shrieks as Richard begins tickling him, face flushed from wine dance and the rememberence of the looks his little speech had caused. He can feel ashamed once he is sober again he thinks to himself, chasing the faint taste of wine from Richards mouth, causing the older man to groan. The cool metal of Richards ring is soothing on his heated skin, makes him crave the touch even more.  
"What?"  
He asks in confusion when Richard starts to chortle against his collarbone. Richard can't get out a single word for a moment, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  
"You know, this is my old room. I haven't really realised that , but now I am really sure."  
His hand disappears under the bed, dragging out a battered copy of the Karma Sutra. Lee just gasps before paling slightly at the implication. Richard simply tosses the object of his mirth away again without giving it a second look.  
"You saw me dance, right baby?"  
Richard stills, eyes on Lees mouth, licking his lips. Lee wants to kiss him but the hand on his chest prevents him from doing so.  
"Say that again."  
Lee has to think for a moment, briefly wondering what Richard means exactly before a slow smile appears on his face, hand busy exploring further down and squeezing gently, trying to look innocent.  
"I said you saw me dance, _baby_."  
That one word makes Richard lick his lips again, head thrown back on a moan. Lees clever fingers do the rest to make him forget that there are still people around the house who can certainly hear the noise he makes, despite the music still playing downstairs.  
"You sound wrecked, darling. I love the sounds you make, how that word rolls of that beautiful tongue."  
Lee moans, eyes closing until a light slight pinch of his nipple makes his eyes fly open in an instant. It isn't something they have done often , but it doesn't put him off either if it gets a bit rougher.  
"Yes?"  
Lee gets out on a breath , a bead of sweat collecting on his bottom lip and Richard licks it away, tongue dipping in , making Lee squeeze down again. It tears another moan from him before he can stop himself.  
"Enough."  
He all but growls, tearing his mouth away from Lees wetly.  
He curses the position they are in, rolling back on the balls of his feet, hand pulling Lee with him. They are both breathing heavily by the time Richard has managed to rid them of their clothes, hand gliding under Lees backside, lifting him up until he is flush against the door, eyes glossy.  
"What do you want to do, baby?"  
Lee rasps,blinking away sweat from his eyes, gasping when fingers brush over sensitive skin. "I am not a patient man, darling. So tell me if it hurts."  
The stretch and burn of Richards fingers makes him gasp, arch his back against the cool wood of the door, a moan forming once Richards mouth nips and sucks on his chest. He places a gentle hand in Richards hand that tugs harder on the second finger.  
"Now, would you be so awfully kind to wrap those long legs around me."  
The American can't help the slight giggle from escaping his lips, earning him a slap on his butt that makes him gasp in fake shock.  
"Now baby, that wasn't fair."  
He croaks but does as Richard says, trembling only slightly and winching as it hurts. Ever considerade the Brit stops for a moment, splaying hands on twitching thighs and giving in the carnal desire to suck a dark bruise on Lees collarbone.  
" _Ah_. Not fair baby, not fair."  
Despite the strain in his upper body Lee manages to smile, signaling his lover it is okay to move. Blue eyes look up at him, hands digging harder into his flesh until it borders on hurt.  
"Fuck fairness. I want to mark you."  
The sounds they make are filthy, desperate slapping from skin against skin and the thumping caused by two bodies slamming against wood. They don't find it in themselves to care. The older mans arms shake under their combined weight, still, he doesn't let go, shifts and thrusts up. The reaction is instantanous. Lees eyes widen, mouth opening on a long pitched whine, fingers digging into strong shoulders.  
With a smirk Richard does it again and again, until he has to let go with one hand to put it over Lees mouth. At that, Lee glares and clenches down. The shout that action draws from Richard is muffled because he bites down on a temptingly freckled shoulder.  
It doesn't take more than five movements from Richards hand around him to make Lee gasp and close his eyes, ears still ringing he can hear the faint rumble of his lovers voice.  
"My beautiful darling."  
He breathes into damp curls, kissing the tip of an ear while he pulls away and out, sinking down onto the floor again. Lee is still red faced, flinches a bit as he distangles himself but laughs as Richard attempts to carry him the few paces to the bed, looking around for something to clean them, muttering curses when the only thing that comes to mind is his shirt. With a shrug he uses it, making Lee grin.  
"Why, you are naughty."  
Richard chuckles.  
"Well, my mum is the One having to wash..oh hell."  
At the mention of Richards parents Lee feels like a teenager again, burrowing his face against Richards neck, arm draped over his waist after having him pulled down.  
"We could never leave this room again?"  
The younger man suggests, feeling the tremor of Richards laughter against his palm. It takes the older man a moment to calm down, fingers playing with Lees.  
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
That makes Lee look up and frown down, shaking his head.  
"Course not. I very much enjoyed that. Okay, so I would have bedecked you with an term of endearment sooner if I would have known what that would cause, but other than that I am perfectly fine."  
Richard groans at that, making Lee laugh. A bright haply sound, cut off by a little yawn.  
"We should rest."  
The older man decides, turning until they can look at each other fully.  
"Lee?"  
His voice seems small to his own ears and he hates it but he has to know. Fingers idly card through still damp locks, stroke over kiss bruised lips.  
"Yeah?"  
He stops for a moment unsure if he should continue.  
"You like it here?Really"  
God, he feels like a schoolboy. Lee just sighs, rolls on top of him and looks down into his face before speaking, fingers at Richards temples.  
"Yes, I do. I love it here and how easy everything fits if that is what you're asking. I do all things because I want them to."  
Richard gives him a watery smile pulling him down into a series of lazy kisses. Lee doesn't know when exactly they fell asleep but he wakes when a shrill sound reaches his ears.  
The door. They didn't lock the door. Horrified his gaze snaps to Richard who thank god had managed to pull covers over them both somehow. There is a clearing of a throat and Lee squeezes his eyes shut as a voice drifts into the room.  
"Well, if you are hungry at some point, feel free to come down."  
The voice is steady and calm and Richard shakes in silent laughter as his mother closes the door again, poking Lee softly.  
"That...that I am never going to live down, am I ?"  
He mumbles into the pillow, sighing as a hand strokes over his back.  
"No. Nothing we can do about it, too."  
On a whim, he decides to pay Richard back in kind for the teasing he detects in his voice, fingers brushing over his chest.  
"Karma Sutra, eh?"  
Richard just blinks, Lee smirks at the flush on his cheeks.  
"Well, you know me baby, I am not that flexible, but back home I took a few Yoga classes."  
He sounds innocent enough, although Richard can cleary see through it.  
"You don't say"  
He rasps and Lee nods, giving him a regretful smile as he rolls over and climbs out the bed, gathering his discarded clothes in his arms.  
."I am afraid that has to wait until after a shower and I had something to eat."  
With that he strolls into the little connected bathroom, humming. Richard closes his eyes again but his napping is cut short by a hand shaking him out of it. Lee glares down on him, finger pointing at the large hickey. With a dark chuckle Richard props himself on his elbows.  
"Well, say its a bugbite, love."  
Lee just huffs, throws his arms up in defeat before trodding of towards the bathroom again. Richard decides sharing water is only fair and follows Lee soon after.


	33. All the Worlds a Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Lee has never been on a movie set, but Richard doesn´t mind showing him his world. Meanwhile, Graham tries to be charming - in his usual way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya :D So I have no idea how anything works on a movie set but I tried anyway. I hope you enjoy, and thanks again for the lovely feedback <3

When they depart a few days later to travel to the film set, Lee is bestowed with hugs and kisses from Richards mother and a hearty slap on the shoulder by his father. The older man says nothing but mentions casually to his wife that they should invest in sound proof walls sooner or later. Lee says nothing to it, Richard chuckles against his mothers cheek while hugging her.   
It is Graham picking them up, looking his usual grumpy self. Lee would be worried if he wouldn´t know the man by now, so he simply smirks a little before stealing a kiss from Richard.  
“Keep it in your pants, both of you.”  
He growls, smiling none the less. The last weeks and months have left an imprint on all of their lives and everyone of them has made sacrifices.   
“A word of advice Lee. The words _no comment_ will be your best friend on a movie set. No matter how charming the fuckers are, they are rattle snakes.”  
Lee knows instantly what Graham has been talking about, knows it since the incident with Clark and other none pleasant reporters. Hell, they even cornered Luke once and asked if he would be in a manage-a- trios with them both. At that Lee still grimaces, shakes his head. Luke and him, that has changed and it hurts him to a degree. Their are things hovering in the air between them, unpleasant and poisonous to their once flawless and easy friendship.   
Things like that make Lee want to wish for a time machine again, but time doesn´t stay still. He sees it in the way Carl grew from a puppy to a dog he sometimes can hardly hold on his leash when the animal dashes off into one direction and he isn´t prepared for it. Come to think of it, there are a lot of things he never thought of it being necessary to be prepared for. Hiring new employees for the season because he is traveling around the world with his soon to be husband is only one of those things.  
Well, Martin had hired them on his behalf and he was grateful for that. Maybe that was incorrect, too. Martin had the rare gift to put the fear of god in everyone, including drama students who only thinly masked that the whole reason for them wanting to start working in a bookstore was the hope to meet an actor who could show them the ropes. Lee didn´t ask what Martin had told them, but he was sure it had been clear enough that people like that wouldn´t qualify for the job.   
Lauren and Steve , the two Martin and him had agreed on hiring finally, had been pleasant enough and also knew a bit about literature because they were literature students. So, he should feel relieved but doesn´t. He has learned to have his emotions under control by now, but the thing with Luke – whatever it is, it needs settling. They haven´t spoken much since the incident between Richard and him and Lee hadn´t found the nerve to deal with that on top of it all. Sooner or later, he knows - he will have to.   
A sigh tears itself from somewhere deep within him and he stretches in the car, throwing Richard a small smile.   
“I´ve never been on a movie set.”   
He says when the silence in the vehicle gets too loud for his taste and Richard smiles at him, squeezing his hand.   
“Well, think of it like being in a Zoo. Only you aren´t the One in front of the cage.”  
Graham throws him a warning look at that but otherwise the rest of the ride is spent in quiet. Something Richard needs to get back into his head, trying to find the character again, pushing his own persona to the background as far as he can, before switching back and looking at Lee in something close to reassurance.   
“Just joking, it will be all right. They probably will love you to bits, who wouldn´t?”  
When they finally arrive Lee is prepared for the worst, not for the cup of coffee shoved into his hand and being manhandled into a folding chair with his name on by someone who breezily introduces himself as _Hi, I am Sherman, nice to meet you, you can watch from over there, Mr.McTavish filled us in, please feel right at home_ He wouldn´t really describe that as a Zoo. Okay, so there are many people running around, shouting into earpieces, cameras and props moved around and Richard is whisked away into a makeup trailer. There are fake bushes and green screens around them and Lee just watches it all, trying to take it in.   
For the first time in this whole relationship he truly feels out of place. Richard looks and acts so different around those people. More distant. He doesn´t smile like he does when they are alone or around friends and he realizes that Richard has pulled up shields, distancing him from strangers and co workers. He doesn´t trust them. A sight that makes Lee shift uneasily in his chair, nearly spilling his coffee over himself as somewhere from his left someone he assumes must be the director yells _action_  
By the looks of it, the scene doesn´t work out the way they want. They try again and again, rearranging lights, screens and in the midst of it there stands Richard in full costume, getting his nose and face powdered by a friendly smiling guy whose name tag reads _Hi, I am Peter_. For no reason at all he wants to go over there and punch Peter in the face for touching Richard. So what if that is his job? Lee feels his lips curl up into a snarl, grip on his cooling coffee tightening. A chuckle from beside him rouses him from the pit of jealousy he had threatened to drown in.   
Graham just watches him for a moment, a cigarette dangling between his lips, inhaling deeply while overseeing the whole scene.   
“You know, that is harmless. Something you better get used to.”  
While Lee knows that Graham is right, it still angers him. He alone should be able to touch Richard and why is that hand so long in Richards hair? How long can it take to put a stray lock of hair back into place? Graham says nothing but taps him on the shoulder instead.  
“The two of you will really drive me into an early grave, you know. You know, you´re every publicists nightmare and I mean that very fondly.”  
Lee chuckles, looking at Graham as Richard is herded towards another mark to stand on, trying to relax. _Trying_ being the key word in there.   
“You know, Lee. First I had my doubts, I made that clear towards you, didn´t I.”  
Oh yes, he had but Lee just nods in understanding and grins for no reason at all as Graham goes on and rattles about all the nerves the two of them have already cost him.   
“And my stash of fine liquor is nearly empty. I do hope One of you will bring a bottle or two over when we have dinner in my trailer tonight.”  
Leave it to Graham to be blunt about everything, including an invitation for dinner. He never has asked Graham about his personal live and frankly he hadn´t cared much but maybe it was about time to built that bridge.   
“Well, I guess Richard has a wine..”  
The laugh startles him a bit, as does the friendly squeeze on his shoulder.   
“I was just fucking with you. I would never let my booze run dry when dealing with clients like Richard. And Richard is a doll compared some of the others.”  
Some of the others, Lee thinks – sounds more distant and Richard is a lot more than just a client from the way Graham talks but he doesn´t point it out. They talk easily enough and watch as scence after scene is shot , settings changed and an extremely unlucky Extra is reduced to tears for _standing in the bloody way_ by Richard. Lee grimaces in sympathy but doesn´t say anything to that because if his watch isn´t lying there, they have been shooting that particular scene for five hours straight. Over and over.   
He also never has been in a trailer before, he realizes and the feeling he has once he sees pictures of them both adorning the walls of Richards personal One can only be described as awestruck. He grins as Richard finally joins him, kisses him tiredly.   
“So, you enjoyed your day?”  
Richard is anxious, still not really out of character, so Lee decides to brew them a cup of tea, even if he himself still prefers coffee.  
“Yeah, I did. Even if I wanted to throttle the make up guy for touching you.”  
At that, Richard stills, cup halfway to his mouth.   
“Oh?”   
Lee smiles sheepish, drinking his tea with only a slight grimace. Richard just pats him on the leg and leans in for a kiss that feels more than good but they both know it has been a long day, so nothing much will come of it.   
“Good to know I have found my knight in shining armor in you.”  
He chuckles a bit, eyes on Lee again, leaning back in his seat. He is relieved that Lee has taken this all well and that Graham and the American come along so well. That reminds him.   
“So Graham invited you for dinner? Well us, but – you know what I mean.”  
Lee grins, nodding.   
“Yeah, although I found it was rather more of an order. He has that air about him.”  
Finally, Richard manages the full blown laugh that Lee loves so much, irritating Graham who driven by impatience had decided to bring the take out boxes classifying as dinner over to Richards trailer.   
“I don´t want to know.”   
Is the only thing he says, shouldering his way inside the already cramped trailer.


	34. Conversations, Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking with Graham is not always fun, but as long as Richard isn't alone in that he thinks that is okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, on we go :) Thanks for the constant feedback and I hope you have a nice weekend. Enjoy <3

"So the two of you have a date in mind?" Graham casually asks around a bite of chicken, making both Richard and Lee look up at him. They haven't talked about it much besides getting the rings for each other.  
"I take the dumbfounded expressions you offer me as a no. "  
Graham says and Lee flushes even deeper than before when Graham points out that their are things you forget when you're busy otherwise with a sly grin.  
"As always I was thinking ahead and tried to pick a date. There are severel for your consideration."  
A piece of paper is shoved at them and it would be an absurd and hilarious picture they paint but in the light of things nothing really shocks anyone anymore. Lees gaze flicks towards Richard, who by now has stopped eating alltogehter and from the looks of it wants to start pacing A thing he usually does when he feels anxious, nervous or is pissed.  
"Thats our decision, is it not?"  
Richard barks, wielding the chicken leg like a sword. So, pissed it is then.  
"Sure. If you ever go through with all of it. We had that little escapade before, didn't we?"  
Lee drops his chicken as if burned, eyes glittering dangerously. How dare he?  
"How dare you! You are not talking about a fucking promotional shoot for a cologne here!"  
Richards eyes dart to Lee, surprise written over his features. It had been one of those mornings when Lee had been half asleep, stumbling out of bed none the less and he had also managed to stub his toe. That was when he had found the promotional sheets Richard had left strewn around the place. Firstly his eyes had widened and then he had laughed. Casting his memories aside he looked at Graham again.  
"Calm down, will you. I am not saying that I don't believe your intentions. All I am saying is that the two of you should start planning it, decide if you want it public."  
Richard gazes at Lee in a pleading manner. Ah so Graham doesn't know about Aidan wanting to take the pictures and maybe seal the deal on it. Lee isn't that hungry anymore but he has to admit that Grahan does have a point. There are a lot of things to plan ahead if you want to marry. Starting wuth the location, sampling of the Cake. If you wanted a Cake. There were books for that you could draw inspirations from. There was a book for everything. Still, Lee knows what Graham is concerned about.  
Richard had mentionied it himself once, what seems to be a lifetime ago, maybe is. Famous people don't have it easy when it comes to it and if said person is in love there are ten other people in line talking about how it isn't real. Even when it is.  
"Well."  
They nearly jump when Richard speaks up, wiping his hand on a napkin.  
"I am with Lee on that. It is our decision when and were but we did talk about it already."  
Yeah, once in the darkness of their bedroom, Lees head pillowed on Richards shoulder, body still humming with the last waves of pleasure. They talked about having the wedding on a beach but Richards fear of water had quickly put an end to that plan as had Lees fear of hights having the wedding on a mountain top. He still shudders at the mere thought.  
"Were you sober when you had that conversation?"  
They were, but Richard just shrugs and Graham groans.  
"Look , I don't want to rush you, but it would be nice if you let me know about it, maybe consider one of the sugesstions I put together for you. You don't have to but it would be polite."  
Richard snorts, eyes fixed on Lee who cracks a smile, so he misses the piece of chickenbone thrown his way. Leave it to Graham to start a foodfight in an cramped trailer. It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last, he is sure of it. The clearing of a throat pulls him back into the present. Graham does look more serious now, eyes firmly fixed on Richard.  
"I take it you have talked to Ginny Andrews."  
He can't help it , replies without thinking twice.  
"Yeah, still hates you by the way, even if she is dying."  
Lee flinces for a moment, shaking his head. There is a subtle change in the atmosphere of the trailer, air tense around them. Graham doesn't say anything for a while, just stares down at his long forgotten food. Of course he had known, of course he hsd to point his finger there. It was sort of the unspoken part of his job description.  
"There is a child there in the whole mess as I am aware of. Not your son but she did talk to you about him?"  
Graham knows him all too well so there is no use in lying and he just sighs. Life was always complicated.  
"Yes, she did talk to both of us about him. He was there."  
Lee nods in confirmation, running a hand through his hair when Graham focuses on him, eyes searching for something, appearently finding it and nodding. Lee doesn't know what the hell is going on but doesn't have it in himself to ask right now. Instead he speaks softly.  
"Why don't we do it in your parents garden?"  
For the first time since he knows Graham, the other man is slack jawed and Richard blushes a bit. Lee just huffs.  
"Oh god, I was talking about the wedding, not ...the other thing! Get your mind out of the gutter"  
Richard chuckles a bit, desperately trying to get his thoughts elsewhere, shaking his head.  
"I was thinking more of neutral place,you know."  
Lee understood, grabbing Richards hand and giving it a squeeze, throwing Graham a blinding smile.  
"Whatever happens, I am sure we will do just fine."  
His voice turns sly.  
"When we don't do each other, that is. The chicken was awesome man, thanks."  
Richard can barely hold the laughter in until Graham leaves, no doubt the forgotten business he talks about nothing but an excuse. With a last look over his shoulder he looks at zhem, long and hard.  
"I truly wish it all works out the way you two want it two."  
After Graham is gone neither of them speaks for a moment, so Richard decides to clean away the remains of their dinner while Lee flops down on the bed, feet dangling overthe edge of the mattress. It reminds Richard of a certain hotelroom, but he sets his mind on cleaning up instead.  
With a sigh Lee stands and gets about helping him, eyes crinkled at the corners for some reason. Richard tries to be patient, but fails.  
"What?"  
He finally all but snaps as Lee _sniffs_ his neck, whispering with barely contained laughter.  
"Oak Fregrence, really?"  
So Lee might have been not that sleepy while finding the ads for the campaign Richard had struck a deal with, so what.  
"What, they paid up front."  
He mutters with colour high on his cheeks, eyes anywhere but on Lee.  
"I am not judging you, baby. I am just glad I know what you really smell like."  
Richard halts in his actions, raising an eyebrow.  
"Oh?"  
Lee just smiles, bright like the sun.  
"Yep, like the man I love."  
Richard mumbles something about Lee being to corny for words but kisses him on the tip of his nose a moment later anyways.  
"Love you too."


	35. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard gets a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers :) Thanks for all the feedback so far and on we go in our story. A short chapter this time around , but longer Ones will follow <3

Two months later they are flipping through books about wedding cakes , curled up on the couch in their house together, Carl wedged between them. A bright sunny morning that makes Lee smile at the grumpiness Richard displays. They even managed to clear matters with Luke and things have gone back to normal. Well, as normal as it can be.  
It is needless to say that those moments are stolen and with the press tour for Robin Hood coming up, time is little and the shedule tight. Lee snorts at the thought that there is an shedule, eyeing a hideous pink cake with glitter. Richard cackles at the shocked expression Lee throws him when he suggests that one being their cake . Even Carl gives an disbelieving bark at the mere sugesstion.  
"Just kidding, darling."  
He chuckles merrily, reaching for his glass of wine.  
"You are an ass!"  
Lee grumbles good naturally, knowing full well that he has yet again given Richard the opening for a bad pun. Sure enough Richard goes for it, hook line and sinker.  
"You _love_ my ass."  
The American says nothing, but smacks his soon to be husband over the head with the book they were looking through.  
"Ouch!"  
Richard just mumbles, poking Lee in the thigh wit his sock clad toes , making no move at all to stand up. It has been hard enough to agree over furniture and nearly brought them to rip each others throats out while trying to set those pesky things up. With help not only from Martin and Luke but Dean and Aidan also, it had taken them three days.  
"Serves you right."  
Lee mumbles, trying to glare but only managing a pout that makes Richard set down his wine and turn his head, trying to give Lee a kiss. Carl uses the opportuniy to lick a broad stripe across the actors face, making Richard scrunch up his face and in turn wrenching a giggle from Lee.  
"You two have teamed up on me!"  
He accuses while Lee and Carl wear a matching expression. The ringing of the phone makes him tense and Lee can't blame him, really. He himself does the same thing since the first call that reached them about Ginny Andrews a few days back. He had answered Richards phone back then and had given it to the actor as if burned after realizing that it wasn't a call meant for his ears.  
They had known then that things were about to change. That something loomed on the horizon, a cloud in their little perfect world. A world were they lounged together in front of a T.V in tube socks, pizza boxes strewn around the floor, Carl bouncing between thrm like an excited four year old and the suit Richard wore to the latest photocall carelessly tossed over a chair in the corner. Speaking of which, Lee was pretty excited of the rather private photoshoot that was planned to take place before their wedding. They had finally agreed on a date before Christmas, mid november and Lee was perfectly fine with that.  
The worry on Richards face however made him snap back to the present. Hehad become pretty good at reading the other man over the past few months. The expression he could see now, the hunched over posture and the strain in his shoulders as he finally stands. He speaks in quiet tones and Lee tries not to crush Carl against his chest. They have talked about this, about the chance that they maybe could adopt the boy, if everybody involved would play along.  
As far as Lee knew the father of the boy didn't want to take him in and it in turn made him want to punch the bastard in the face. He refrained from doing or saying anything until Richard put the phone away with shaky fingers, eyes distant. He knows that look exactly, has looked like that himself once or twice in his life although he had been younger. Not that it mattered how old you were when something like that happened.  
"Lovely weather isn't i?"  
Richard asks after the eternity of five minutes in utter silence, gazing out the window. Lee feels helpless and he doesn't know what to say to that. On instinct he reaches around Carl and grasps Richards fingers in his own, briefly wondering if that will help, knowing it probably won't. He had known that the call would come and they had agreed to master it together.  
Now it seemed that time has come. Gently guiding Carl to the floor despite the dogs protests, arms wrapping around the other mans waist.  
"It will start to rain soon."  
Lee supplies, voice steady and hopefully in a reassuring manner. The sun keeps on shining, even as Richard informs him about the fact that the call was simply made to tell him, that yes Miss. Andrews has passed away and that, no - There was no need for him to attend the funeral. There is a Will, he is also informed by her mother in the cool and crisp tone he always hated. For that he will be needed in person, he will be informed  
"Can you believe the nerve of the cow? As if it would concern her."  
He mutters, face pressed to Lees shirt at an impossible angle. A sigh escapes him.  
"Sorry, it isn't your fault and not your problem."  
He says to Lee who simply waves him off, telling him in that unique way of his, pulling Richard up and closer yet.  
"Baby, we will make it through this. I know it is hard for you. On you but it will get better."  
Hollow words, promises that he isn't sure he can keep but is willing to try. Richard is more than thankful for that, running a hand through his hair.  
"We don't take that pink monster."  
He says, referring to the cake, trying to change the subject and Lee lets him. There isn't much they need to talk about, already having discussed everything that needed to be discussed.  
"How about classic?"  
Richard can live with that and with the fact that sometimes things can't be changed but had to be accepted. And if you weren't alone in that, all the better.


	36. Life and other things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things keep on happening, but then again this is life, not a soap opera , or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves* And the plot thickens, well, if it still can 

It takes a few hours for Richard to calm down and by the time he finally has calmed down they are both also through their second bottle of wine, tipsy and warm. Lee stands from the couch on shaky legs, Richard half draped over him, stumbling through the living room into the bedroom, flopping down onto the unmade bed.  
Head pounding and an arm draped over his eyes Richard mumbles something that could be his name but Lee isn't sure until Richard pulls him close, hands splayed on the back of his grimey shirt. He really needs a shower but he doesn't want to leave Richard alone in the state he is in. Not even for a shower.  
"I am sorry I dragged you into this."   
Lee doesn't even have to ask what Richard is talking about so he just shakes his head.  
"You don't need to be sorry for anything, you know."  
He doesn't add that they have talked about that, more than once and that his patience is wearing thin concernimg that matter. Right now, he doesn't. He just strokes through Richards hair, soothing circles against trobbing temples. He wonders where he got the calmness from and doesn't remember it, eyes fixed on his lover. He weaves their fingers together, trying to give Richard strength in any shape and form.  
He is relieved when Richard squeezes back, gives a slight sniffle because he still feels emotionally drained.  
"It was all just so fast."   
On instinct Lee pulls Richard up into a hug that is awkward and will cause both of them a bit of pain if rthey move to soon. Lee doesn't complain, though.  
"You mean Ginny, don't you?"  
He cannot help but ask, hands still clasped with Richards.  
"Yeah."  
The actor says, eyes tired and limbs heavy. He feels like as if he would be made of stone but isn't. He sits up straigther, tries to smile through the emotions whirling through his head.  
"Would you - could we , I don't know, go for ice cream or something like that?"  
Lee smiles gently and shakes his head.  
"I think we should have one of those quiet days, you know, just staying in bed and keeping each other company. You should try and relax."  
He sees the question in Richards eyes, reflected and bright as day. There is something hiding in that gaze, trying to come forward and yet hiding.  
"I know I asked that before, but how do you feel about children?"  
Lee knows the answer to that by heart but he knows that it isn't the thing Richard needs to hear.  
"I would love to take the boy in if there is a chance for us to get the custody. I would spoil him rotten and you would have to be the strict one, you know. No chocolate before dinner or something like that."  
It is all teasing but there is a honest and well meant truth behind Lees words.  
"The question is, are you ready for that?"  
Lee wishes for it to come out different but it doesn't. Richard blinks at him, eyes wide and yet distant. Richard knows what Lee is asking, even if he cannot bring his body to move away, cannot bring his mouth to form words. There is somezhing in Lees gaze he has never seen, distant and cold to an degree.   
"Are you?"  
Lee repeats and Richard, by god feels trapped - caged in, not knowing what to reply. Richard had always dreamed of a family, not quite like that but, yes - yes he is ready for that, wants to give the boy a home if he can. They have a spare room after all.  
"Yes."   
Is a simple word, yet Lee knows it is true, honest. Lee can live with that.  
"How about we send invite them? You knoe, his guardians and him?"  
Richard wants to vomit at the mere thought, only to see the reason behind it.  
They don't talk until the next morning and Richard gets himsrlf a cup of tea, stretching. "What are you doing?"  
He asks over Lees shoulder, who is staring at his computer screen from beneath his lashes. He looks at tuxes, Richard realizes and feels guitly about it all. Still, life has to go on and Richard wants it to go on, wants to be finally happy, and yes - his happiness has manifested in Lee, as sappy as that sounds.  
"You think I will look okay in that?"  
Lee asks in his ear, biting his bottom lip, awaiting the answer. Richard just smiles at him, hands coming to rest on his shoulders.  
"I think you will look lovely and that I will be lucky to peel you out of it."   
Lee blushes a fascinating shade of red turning in his chair to look up at him.  
"Really, that sounds promising. "  
The actor chuckles, stealing a kiss before he pulls back.  
"It does, doesn't it?"   
Lee just looks at him, grabbing his hand in his own and sighing.   
"Look, I didn't want to bring that up, but would you really be okay with all of the things I have in mind?"  
He has to know, has to be certain. Just this once in his life he wants to do it right and he thinks it is only fair that he akso can have a bit of doubt in his system after all.  
Richard only gives him a smile. It is small, but honest.  
"Yes, I am."  
It seems that they are somehow suspended in time until Lees phone rings. First, he isn't even sure who is calling him, wonders briefly why the woman on the other end of the line is all but hyperventilating.  
"Lauren?"  
He asks after a moment, face ashen. Richard looks at him quizzical but Lee doesn't say anything, closing his laptop.  
"I have to go."  
Is all he says, without explanation, body trembling. Richard doesn't like it at all but lets Lee go none the less.


	37. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy is a bitch, Richard always knew and Lee always ran towards it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :) Hope you enjoy <3

Richard doesn´t even have the time to respond but he grabs his car keys anyway, follows the other man in his vehicle because Lee and his damn long legs are much faster than him, especially if there is adrenaline coursing through his body. He can barely keep up with the speed Lee is driving at and he he wants to shout so many things after the younger man, but he doesn´t get the chance to do so. A thousand questions race through his already aching head, among the silly notion that he doesn´t wear anything presentable if there would be press. Old habits and all that.  
The only thing he wants to know is what the hell happened in those last fifteen minutes give or take as he rounds the corner, parks his car and jumps out. It feels like as if he is dreaming, yet he knows he is wide awake, too awake.  
God, he wishes that he would be dreaming but he isn´t imaging the flames coming out of what was once the neatly kept front of the bookstore. The heat is so overwhelming that sweat breaks out on his skin but his legs move faster as he sees in utter horror that Lee isn´t moving away like the other on lookers. He shouts something at some girl, shakes her thin shoulders with all his might but Richard can´t hear what they are saying over the noise of firetrucks racing in their direction.  
He manages to grasp at Lees wrist but Lee shakes him off, not looking back.  
“Martin is still in there!”  
It stuns Richard enough to let go for a second, damming Lees fast reflexes again and then there are arms around him, holding him back. It is a fireman, holding him back.  
“Sir, you have to step back! Everybody step back. There is a leaking gaspipe!”  
Richard struggles so hard that the man has trouble holding him, despite being bigger but there is something primal in him wanting to go in there. His voice is raw from screaming, cursing Lee, wanting him to be by his side to yell at him. Fear grips at him as more and more people arrive, sirens are getting louder just a moment before there is an ear shattering _boom_ and everything goes black.  
When he comes to, his ears are still ringing, someone is talking to him, but he doesn´t listen. His eyes frantically search for the one person he is there for but he doesn´t find Lee, stands up on wobbly legs and ignores the cut on his forehead. Luke, of all people comes running to him, pale and covered in soot.  
“Hospital.”  
Luke gets out in a croaky voice, pointing at his car, motioning Richard to climb in. Richards mind goes blank as he sees Martin on the sidewalk, a paramedic nearby. Apparently, there had been a faulty gas pipe in the basement , choosing this day to cause a fire, fueled by someone smoking in said basement, despite Lees warning. He doesn´t even need Luke to tell him who that had been, because he had seen it on the shaking girls face. He tries not to hate her, really tries, clamping his eyes shut. He also tries not to be angry at Martin, trying his damnedest to prevent the fire from growing. Stubborn bastard. That brings him to Lee. His heart is thudding maddeningly fast in his chest at the mere thought.  
Martin was his oldest friend, Richard knows that. Knows that Lee is more heart than head, always had been, still – why couldn´t he just _wait_. He punches the dashboard of Lukes car so hard he can feel the skin of his knuckles break and starting to bleed. The cut on his forehead has stopped bleeding but he doesn´t care. Not a bit.  
Luke, who had been on the other side of the city when all that happens informs him and Richard realizes something. He has lost time, doesn´t know if that really were ten minutes or an hour. He doesn´t dare to ask until they arrive at the hospital.  
“What happened? Where is he? Is he alive?”  
That last question leaves his lips in a trembling rush, eyes wet and overflowing, hands shaking like as if he would have run a marathon. He feels like he has done just that, right out of his dreams into his own personal nightmare. Luke just stares at him, raking a hand through his hair. It makes Richard so mad that he grabs the other man by his jacket and shakes him.  
“Richard! Stop that. I don´t know, I don´t know anything.”  
He says. He knows only the things that have been told him by neighbors and residents over the phone before he had gotten there and the last thing he had seen upon arrival at the scene was an ambulance speeding down the street. He hadn´t even _known_ that Lee was in it, until he had found Martin huddled on the sidewalk, hardly able to talk due to the shock. He had been still trying to put the flames out in a vain attempt as Lee came all but crashing through the door, wanting to get him out of there. There had been a moment of horror on Lees face, eyes going wide as he had realized what that smell was and he had used brunt force to shove Martin under a table before the explosion had catapulted him across the room.  
That was all Martin had been able to say and see, and that had been – as Richard could tell by his watch - four hours ago. All the overworked hospital staff had been able to tell them was that Lee was in surgery.  
“Coffee?”  
Luke says to him for the umpteenth time and Richard wants to throttle him, wants to do _something_ but he knows he can´t. So he just shakes his head, because if he drinks another cup of coffee he will suffer from an heart attack, he is sure of it. A doctor comes out of an operating room half an hour later. Richard stands at once, as does Luke. He feels faint, despite the coffee he had been forcing down his throat for the last hour or so.  
“Mr.Armitage?”  
The voice makes him look at the man who looks strained, but his gaze flickers to his gloved hands, stained in blood. He feels sick, wants to throw up but keeps himself together at the seams – even if just barely.  
“Yes.”  
He hears himself say, like he is watching from outside his own body, heart going faster, pulse pounding in his own ears. He doesn´t want to hear it, feels the need to curl up and cry in the nearest corner. The promise he had made Lee, to never scare him again, that promise he wants to yell back at the other man.  
Out of the corner of his eye he can see Luke speak rapidly into his phone, no doubt speaking with Lees father from the way his shoulders are hunched. From the loud ruckus at the entrance Richard can only guess that Martin has finally made it there, despite doctors orders and being held up himself. Stubborn. They were all so stubborn. His gaze flickers to the doctor again who is talking to him.  
“You husband has been very lucky.”  
So what if he had lied to get information, fuck that. They would marry soon enough, so it wasn´t really a lie, was it? And what does the bastard mean by lucky, if Lee would have been lucky they wouldn´t be in the hospital. From the looks he receives from the nurses on the hallway, he must have said some of it loud. The man in white seems unfazed, has probably heard all of that before and maybe he has been punched by one or the other relative. At least that is what Richard wants to do.  
“May that as it be, he was lucky. Very lucky for someone suffering minor second degree burns and a concussion. Also, he has the fortune to possess a thick enough skull that he won´t suffer brain damage but we had to stitch him up pretty good due to his bleeding. For the burns I can´t say much aside that they will heal. Maybe leave scars. And the three broken ribs will heal, too – all in time, obviously.”  
Richard knows he is irate when he yells at the poor guy to shove his _obviously_ where the sun doesn´t shine, only held back by Luke and Martin, out of the corner of his eye seeing a shadow move towards him. A nurse, he dimly realizes , and isn´t that his luck that they all smile so brightly. What on earth is there to smile about. She is brave enough to lay a hand on his shoulder, escorting him to the room Lee is situated in.  
The picture that awaits him is nothing he is prepared for. Lees head is covered in gauze,much like his own had been back when he had gotten into his accident with the damned horse and he irrationally asks himself if Lee has do everything the way he does. Even the stupid mistakes. Tears treat to spill over his face and something close to a shout wants to leave his mouth , but he keeps silent.  
“It will take a while until he wakes.”  
Her voice is soft, reassuring. Richard hates her on the spot, only to grasp onto what that means. He _will_ wake up. He feels so very old once he sits down on a stool, staring at Lee and feeling helpless A sob tears its way from his throat, betraying the whirlwind of emotions he finds himself in until his whole body shakes. The hand he has put over his mouth bears his bite marks soon enough once he is able to see Lees gauze covered head. _Stupid, ___wonderful boy. His boy, his husband, he thinks over and over again in the hours it takes for Lee to blink at him, sleepily. He doesn´t know what it is that makes him scream at the top at his lungs, making nurses and doctors run his way, but he likes to think it it is his charming personality.  
“Richard?”  
Is all Lee utters in a state of confusion and all Richard can do is lean over and press a kiss to his lips, telling him over and over that he is the most insufferable creature and person on the planet, holding on tight. Lee is clearly halfway sedated, he knows by the way he blinks, but Richard doesn´t give a damn as the man blinks up at him.  
“Is everything alright?”  
That, Richard doesn´t know but for the sake of them both he is willing to vouch for it, nodding and holding on a bit stronger than he should be.


	38. From Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting over is hard. Being not alone is a blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on our boys journey goes <3 Enjoy

It isn't often that Richard prays, but sometimes he does, feels the need to fall to his knees in silent gratitue to whatever force is responsible for Lee being still with him.  
"I am sorry."  
Lee manages between wet hiccups, eyes firmly on Richard, his bandaged hand curling around Richards own. At that Richard presses another kiss to the younger mans temple, his forehead and his nose.  
"You better be, what were you thinking darling?"  
That only makes Lee sob harder, eyes already red rimmed. It makes Richard ache and he brushes stray tears away from the face he only wants to see smiling.  
"Please don't cry, it will only make you hurt more, please."  
He is dead tired and wonders what keeps him on his feet but doesn't question it. He also doesn't try to think about the way he looks right now.  
"I should have been there."  
Lee says flatly, blames himself for everything that happened, like always. They have talked about it, long hours because Lee had always blamed himself for things he couldn't do a thing about it. Luke pokes his head in, clears his throat.  
"I am going back to the shop. Get a look over the things."  
Luke never has been the emotional one, Lee knows that, so it scares him to see that panicked look upon his face, but before he can sit up Richard presses him gently down into the pillows.  
"You heard him, rest."  
His tone is stern enough and the painkillers take effect soon after. A doctor comes in an hour later, shaking Richard awake.  
"Go home. There is nothing you can do."  
As much as he wants to hit the guy, he knows it is true. So he does what he can to take his mind off things. When he arrives home, meaning their house, Carl looks as hin expectant and he gives a slight sneeze before taking a shower, changing and walking the dog around the block.  
Lees father calls him and for a moment Richard has to close his eyes as the man asks about the damage of the store, because he frankly doesn't give a damn, which he also says but by god his nerves are so very thin right now. His phone keeps ringing as he packs a bag with a change of clothes for Lee, not knowing what exactly to pack and Graham nattering in his ear. The fucking promo tour, he is reminded -can't be cancelled.  
Oh, Richard knows that. He just doesn't want to, that is all. His next two weeks fly by without him noticing time. There are press conferences, photocalls and interviews. He smiles so hard at times that he feels as if his face might get stuck like that. Turner and O'Gorman come by, check up on Lee when nobody else can. It takes another week for Lee to be released and Richard has to wheel him in a wheelchair out because of some stupid rules he has never heard of. It doesn't mask the fact that there is tension in the air.  
"Richard?"  
Lees voice is small once Richard has managed to manouver him into the bed past an very excited Carl.  
"Yes?"  
The Brit says, looking at fading burns on Lees skin, swiftly looking away.  
"Do..do you still love me? Even if I am stupid and..and damaged?"  
Lee barely gets it out before Richard is next to him, on him although he is careful not to cause the younger man more pain.  
"Always."  
He presses out, hands shaking and pulling Lee into a hug that is awkward and painful in more ways than one. They are too tall to be in such a position and Lees ribs ache in protest but Richard has to make sure that Lee is there, breathing wetly against his lips, trembling hands on his own back. He calms down enough for Richard to fill him in on a few details. There wasn't much to save and thankfully the insurence company will pay full. Still, he can see something in Lee break, even if it is barely visible.  
"Lee, it isn't your fault."  
Oh, Lee knows that. The only problem he has, he has to believe it. The hands grabbing him are trembling and he knows then that Lee needs him in more ways than One. Without another word he helps Lee change his bandages, wincing in sympathy everytime Lee hisses in pain. He can only imagine how much it hurts. Martin comes by, later that day with flowers Lee likes. He doesn't say anything but he kisses Lee on the cheek, telling him without words that he is loved and a little bit stupid, which goes without saying.Richard half expects Lee to break down and cry as he finally sees the damage but Lee is calm. Frightenly calm.  
There is nothing of the sympathy Richard knows Lee posesses when looking at Lauren. The grip Lee has on his crutch is strong enough to leave his knuckles white.  
"You're fired. I don't want your excuses, I don't care about your apologies. You will receive your last payment and that is that."  
The thing Lee hates the most about that? That he sounds like his father, without wanting too. Richard brews them both a strong tea in the evening, adds rum because they will need it. Lee doesn't speak much, feels drained and tired but he manages the hopeful smile Richard fell so in love with in the first place.  
"Will you help me redecorate? Give the place a new look?:"  
Lee is barely keeping it together but by god, he has to, because who else is there? The question is answered by Richard handing him a cup of tea, telling him all about the annoying press, maybe knowing a few good interior designers and all Lee can do is letting go and weep, holding on to Richard for dear life. In the end they both know they will pull through, even if they will have to start over, again and again.


	39. Recoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go on, not all smooth, but that is life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our boys travel on, :) Hope you enjoy <3

"Well." It comes out the mans mouth rather breatless and shocked from where Lee is sitting, Richards hand on his shoulder, steadying him.  
"Richard, darling - you said renovations , not built up something from scratch. My, my."  
It looks almost comically how he frowns through gold-rimmed glasses, righting his tie for the twentieth time . Lee has counted. It doesn't help that his father is also there, next to Luke and Martin. He swallows another pill against the pain he still feels trumming through his body. Richard notices, presses a kiss behind his ear. Lees father glares, although not about the display of affection, only about the man Richard had introduced as a friend.   
"Howard, for the love of god, stop beating around the bloody bush."  
He hisses and Howard flinches, holding up a calculator and clipboard as if the objects could shield him from Richards wrath.  
"Well."  
He starts again and Martin mutters something along the lines of _if I ever hear him say well again, I am going to throttle him_ Lee knows Martin is only there for his benefit, while Luke is there for the financials and his father, well. They haven't talked much and to say the atmosphere is tense wouldn't justify it in the slightest. He knows that he has visited him in the hospital once or twice, maybe more. Still, that doesn't change the fact that there is something brewing.  
"Let's have a look-see, shall we."  
Lee just raises his eyebrows but Richard just shakes his head, helps him stand and the group of them walks around what once a lovely decorated bookstore. Something on the floor in a corner catches Lees eye and he reaches for it, despite the pain it causes him. It is, Richard realizes after a moment, a burnt copy of an Jane Austen book.   
Lee feels his eyes water, forces it down and tosses the book away, closing his eyes against the nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
"Between friends? Two hundred and fifty grand. My Services included."  
For a horryfying moment Lee thinks he might faint and that his father will shove that calculator down poor Howards throat. Luke is awfully quiet as he waves Lee and Richard over, doesn't even look to where Martin tries to talk his father down enough not to strangle poor Howard.   
Luke rakes a hand through his hair, a sure gesture that something more is coming in the next minutes and that it isn't something good.   
"Even with the insurrance money, there is no way you could afford that."  
That isn't all, he is sure but he wants to give Luke a moment to deliever the news.  
"Lauren wants to sue you. Go against you firing her."  
Lee barely resists the urge to scream and laugh at the same time until Richard speaks up, his attention solely on Howard.  
"Sounds good to me Howard, give me a call."  
Lee gapes at him, unable to form words. Richard knows that Lee has something against that but he doesn't want pride to be what ruins Lees existence. He tells him that on the way home and Lee sighs in defeat, presses kisses to Richards face as they are finally alone.  
"Thank you, baby. For everything. But I will pay you back."  
The last part he says in determation that makes Richard realise just how much he loves the other man.  
"Not for that. I am glad if I can help. Even if it just that and your father will likely shoot me."  
At that, Lee has to smile, grins at the thought about his father working with Howard. God, the poor man. Then again, he knows things will look up. He yawns a bit, the day taking its toll on him. Lee has always been quiet when he was hurting, something Richard now knows well enoughand he also notices the way Lee still holds himself up, just barely.  
"What is it, darling?"  
He asks as Lee slouches into the bathroom. The bathroom Richard has had so many fantasies over that is painful to focus on the task at hand. It takes half an hour to peel away the bandages, taking in the thankfully mostly faded burns.  
"Do you..does this..does this make me ugly?"  
That is something Richard has never considered and would never consider, because there is nothing in the world that could make him change a thing about the feelings he has for the other man. A few scars? He doesn't give a damn about it, tells Lee that while he helps the younger man into the tub, thinks about it for a moment before he strips himself, lowering himself into the tub opposite Lee, taking a moment to close his eyes. He too, feels the last days and hours weight on his shoulders. There is so much happening, so fast and he doesn't even want to know how many projects are piling up on his or Grahams desk. He decided to go back to stagework, out of curiousity if he is still able to pull it off, he tells Graham - Graham who doesn't believe him for a moment that is about that. Graham, however being Graham, ignores the blatant lie it is.  
"Richard?"  
Lees voice is quiet next to his ear, pulling him from his thoughts.  
"We will talk about that later. For now, I want to wash your back, if that is okay."  
Richard counts to ten, imaging so much more by Lees grin right now and he shakes his head.  
"No, don't overwork yourself, you need to heal."  
Richards eyes are dark as he pulls away, fingers tingling everytime they touch the other man like he would be a drug. Lee is, he realizes -his drug. He is addicted, never to be cured again from the effect he has onhim and that is okay. That pout Lee throws him as he helps him out of the tub is adorable.  
"Don't look at me like that."  
He scolds, towelling Lees hair dry, turning him around.  
"Like what?"  
Lee asks, shaking his hair out, making Richard grimace.  
"Like I took away your favourite toy."  
Lee wants to argue that he _has_ but stays quiet, goes on with domestic things like brushing his teeth, grinding them together as Richard helps him to apply creme and new bandages.  
"Besides."  
The actor says casully, tucking the last band aid in place, looking up from his place in front of Lee sitting on the closed toilet lid.  
"When you are well again, this will be so much more fun."  
The whimper Lee lets out at that is swallowed by Richards kiss. They are okay, alive. Everything will work out and that is what lets Lee sleep through the night.


	40. A healing touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard thinks it is time to show Lee that he worries too much. Lee agrees (Or - There needs to be smut here, damn it!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello :) I hope you are all well and still enjoy this fic as much as I do. There are many things that will still happen, so please stay tuned :)

Richard finds that he has developed a view new habits concerning Lee but he doesn´t mention them. He just watches a little harder if he is breathing all right, checks his face for flickers of pain. He doesn´t mention all that because Lee would ask him if he has lost his mind, that he doesn´t need to be pampered.   
Like he himself did so often when his sometimes still aching leg acted up. He sighs, turning and blinking at the ceiling as if it bears answers. Apparently he is thinking too loud because Lee turns in his sleep, staring at him for a moment in silence.   
Silence that stretches, envelopes them both in a cloud of blackness until Lee finally grasps Richards hands in his, pulling him on top of himself.  
“Lee.”  
He whispers into the darkness, eyes trying to adjust. It is a simple warning, a question that Lee answers by pressing a kiss to his lips, tender and sweet. It isn´t even sexual, just to reassure Richard that everything is okay, that he would be there in the next hour, on the next day – the next week and the following month, year, years to come. Richard swallows around the lump in his throat.   
“Yes?”  
Lee tries, hands ghosting over Richards chest, coming to rest right above his heart. They have time, even if they should be sleeping. In his heart he knows, they both aren´t able to do so right now. To worked up, so many thoughts running through their heads.   
“Is this how you felt?”  
For a moment Lee cannot grasp the meaning behind the question until the wheels in his head click into place, making him nod. He doesn´t need to elaborate what Richard is asking, knows the grip of fear Richard has suffered through by heart if not by choice. There are hands on his shoulders now, gently stroking as if he might break.   
“Not now.”   
Lee assures him, eyes bright and shining in the darkness of the bedroom, hands gently shoving at Richard until the older man is lying prone under him with a curious gaze.   
“Right now I feel the need to forget the rest of the world a bit.”  
His voice is quiet, a tad desperate. Richard can understand that Lee wants nothing to do with the outside world right now. Be it Lauren in her wounded pride or his father in false disappointment. There are issues that need to be solved. Later. Not now when the blinds are still drawn and Lee smells like strawberries due to the shower gel Richard often mocks him for but secretly loves.   
“Is that so?”  
He asks, fingers inching in the shorts Lee wears, squeezing gently. The effect is the same as always. Lees eyes flutter closed, head falling a bit forward and tongue wetting his lips. Richard suppresses a smile as the younger man wriggles on his lap.   
“Yeah.”   
Is all Lee presses out, looking away for a moment, hands fisting in the sheets next to Richards head. That his worries are fruitless is confirmed wordless by Richard moving his hips up, making him gasp, eyes going wide.   
“So tell me what you want then.”  
There are a thousand answers to a question like that but only one comes to his mind as he helps Richard discard his clothing, moaning when clever fingers find their mark.   
“You.”   
Okay, so it was cheesy, but hell – it was all he wanted right now. Richard smiled at the flush he could see spreading across his lovers face even in the dark and he knew that Lee felt unsure what with them having not been intimate since the fire. Lee is shaking against him and he grips the man by the chin, forcing him to look into his eyes, flicking the bedside light on, making them both flinch for a second.   
“And I you. Never doubt that, darling, never.”  
His hand ghosts over still healing bruises, gently but not hesitant, making a statement. Lee looks at him then, unabashed hunger in bright eyes, mouth open on a silent moan as Richards hands ghost over thighs, spreading them.  
“Richard.”  
He breathes it into the actors mouth, own mouth open in a silent scream as they connect, stilling for a moment.  
“Yes.”  
Richard breathes, rocking upwards, slowly at first, growing faster as the noises in the room grow louder and he watches transfixed as Lee stills above him, sweat beginning to pool in the valley of his navel. Upon instinct Richard leans forward and licks it away, making Lee moan and clamp down his muscles around him, letting go with a full body shudder that leaves them both panting and Richard dancing on the edge, so close but not yet over. That is when Lee looks at him through hazy eyes, still chasing his breath and ignoring the slickness between their bodies.   
“I won´t break.”   
Is all Lee says and all that Richard needs to change their positions and slip behind Lee, gliding over his back. Something primal trumps through his chest, beating against his ribcage, wanting to be freed.   
“Hold onto the bed frame, love.”  
Lee grins for a moment and Richard wishes for a picture of the moment the grin disappears completely and is replaced by a look of awe as he lets go, moving faster, harder and god, right _there_ leaving the younger man trembling, aroused anew. There is a hand on him, Lee notices through the fog of lust he feels and a voice in his ear whispering filthy promises that make him blush so hard that he feels faint, a white knuckled grip on the bed frame growing impossibly stronger. With a surprised shout he succumbs, followed closely by Richard.   
“Well..”  
He rasps out after a minute that could have been an hour, mind blissfully blank while Richard says nothing, just turns them so that he can look at Lee. They are probably wearing the same dopey expression but neither of them cares much.   
“Yeah.”  
Richard whispers, blinking as he hears the first sounds of the city around them wake and decides that they both can stay in a little longer. The day will catch up with them soon enough.


	41. Just forget the world for a minute, or a day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee is so strung tight that Richard chooses a rather - well odd - solution. Or : What better on your birthday, to play twister and being drunk?   
> Well, he can´t think of anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter :) Thank you so much for the feedback, kudos and general support <3

Reality is a harsh thing in the light of day. Daily chores, letters you never want to open and talks you don´t ever want to have. Lee knows that since he is little and every time he visits the grave of his mother. He hasn´t been there in a longer time that he cares to admit but today feels like the day he has to go there alone, just to talk quietly to himself, not even taking Richard with him. Not because he doesn´t want to, just because he can´t. He can´t do it to Richard to feel miserable and guilty, so much like the boy he no longer is.   
His eyes focus on the ring around his finger and he can just imagine her patient smile on his face.   
_Honey, it will be all right. So what if they talk and your father behaves like a dickhead at times? It is love that lifts us up, don´t forget that. In the end all things we do, should be done out of love._  
He had been Fourteen back then, if he remembers correctly and reduced to tears because he of all people had fancied the captain of the swim team and it had been disastrous for him. Nowadays he doesn´t listen to things like that anymore and he pretends it hurts less to have the bond with his father disturbed by things left unsaid. He places the flowers down gently, presses a kiss to the headstone and turns around without another word, freezing on the spot when he sees his father standing there.   
He looks older, tired, flowers in his own hands.   
“Lee.”  
He says, taking a deep breath and placing the flowers next to the ones Lee brought. The tone is something he knows, something he always feared.   
“I am glad you are okay.”  
Lee knows that his father never was a man for big emotions, loves books more than people, if they are close to his heart. It stings less and less over the years, he realizes and he suddenly wants to weep as he is pulled into a bone crushing hug that is more than he ever expected.   
“I am fine, dad.”  
He gets out after a moment, clearing his throat and blinking into the New York Skyline, and really he cannot say more, only wishes for Richard to be there now, cursing his luck sometimes.   
“You don´t look fine.”  
No, he doesn´t. He has lost weight again because he worries so much, works twice as long as he should, running around on caffeine and whatever else is in those energy drinks he pretends he isn´t downing when he can´t muster to stand on his feet by himself anymore. Richard is preparing for his stage work at the moment but he still hasn´t even found the moment to listen close enough, falling asleep in the middle of Richard explaining, only to awake to a blanket draped around his shoulders. Yep, that is guilt settling in.   
“I am good. We are good.”  
With _we_ he isn´t referring to the both of them and his father knows that well enough. If anything they have honed their skills in not talking to each other over the last twenty years or something. It comes to the point they leave without a second glance and Lee doesn´t really recollect how exactly he has made it home.   
The first thing he hears when he opens the front door, though is laughter. Martin and his wife are there, even Luke is standing in the kitchen and he wonders in brief panic if he missed some birthday again, because he is that chaotic of a person, will always be. The odd thing is the smell. There is something cooking, and he follows it to see Richard standing at the stove, a towel loosely slung over the shoulder while Luke sets the table with Martin, both of them trying not to fall over each other. It makes him smile, don´t caring what the occasion is. He asks none the less.   
“Oh, Lauren well – she decided against suing you after we sat down and talked.”   
For a moment he looks as if Luke would have grown another head but doesn´t have a chance to sound offended or shocked because the doorbell rings.   
“Will you open that, darling?”  
Richard says in his most charming voice and Lee is lost to it, feels his feet moving until he practically yanks it open to reveal the gaggle of three men. Okay, so he knows all three of them but _what_ on earth is happening? Did he miss something? Maybe he fell asleep and is dreaming or something like that. Maybe he is just overworked. So he just goes for it.   
“Eh, did I miss something?”  
Richard gives him that look. The look you get by you your loving partner after he or she explained something to you twenty times and you still didn´t get it. Richard steers him into the dining room, waves Dean, Aidan and Graham in , grinning over his shoulder.  
“You did listen to Luke that Lauren won´t be suing you?”  
That he _has_ noticed, but still doesn´t get why they are all there. Graham gives him a look that tells him to relax and that he won´t be eaten alive. A fear he never would have voiced but had sometimes with the way Graham could look.   
“Yes? And- oh shit.”  
He had completely forgotten about the Photo session they had been planning for months. Of course he would forget – wait. That wasn´t that, because Aidan hadn´t brought his camera with him. He went for the birthdays again, counting down who had and... his eyes widened.   
“Oh my god.”  
Richard just grinned, dismissed him with a wave. He felt like one of those husbands that forgot, completely forgot their spouse´s birthday. Well he had managed that. Grinning sheepishly at Richard he gave him a kiss, congratulated him.  
“And I haven´t even got a present.”  
He mumbled, deciding not to listen to Aidan or Dean for suggestions what exactly he could give Richard. He would do _that_ in private.  
“I don´t mind Lee. I almost forgot myself until Graham called.”   
Richard chuckles, shrugging and pointing at the food on the stove.   
“I mean I started cooking because I was hungry and wanted to surprise you but Graham and me, we got this tradition.”  
At that Lee raises his eyebrows. Graham wordlessly produces what he has brought with him. Besides four bottles of whiskey there is also a twister mat in there. Richard turns an adorable shade of pink and Lee laughs, the first heartfelt laugh he has had since the whole mess with the fire. Luckily they will be able to reopen soon enough and the whole interior thing turned out not so horrible. Thanks to Richard again, he reminds himself with no small amount of guilt in his system.   
“Is this something I want to know, baby?”  
He feels his face heat up at the way all eyes turn to him and stare. Well, that came out wrong, now did it?  
“Yes, you do.”  
Richard grins cheerfully, walks by past Lee and pinches him on the ass while filling bowls of soup. Yeah, they reached a domestic state already and Dean teases them both merciless, having found an alley in Martin already. Lee quickly realizes he is doomed. Richard patiently fills him in that he wants to have fun on his birthday, with his friends. Their friends. So the feud with Luke has been settled -good.   
Lee feels something heavy drop from his chest, eyes alight with mischief.  
“Twister?”  
He asks around a spoonful of stew, looking at Graham. He cannot help it, he cackles, nearly cries about the images popping into his head at that. Graham swats him playfully, Luke grins and the other men in the room burst out into collective laughter as Graham tells them he knows how to move, thank you very much.   
While Graham sets everything up, Richard uses the time to guide Lee away from them a moment, eyes concerned.   
“I decided it was time you rest a bit, love. You look like hell. And not in the hot way.”  
Lee just sighs, knowing Richard is right. It has been all too much. Also, there is something else he wants to discuss, but not today.   
“I am sorry I forgot..”  
There is nothing but kindness in Richards eyes as he grasps Lee by his hands, turning them so he can look at them.   
“You didn´t. I normally don´t celebrate, didn´t mention it. But you looked so sad in the last few weeks that I just couldn´t take it anymore, so I decided it would be fun to relieve some old traditions, you know before all that pesky fame came along and ruined my life and all that.”  
Lee knows, Richard sometimes is bitter too. They both are.   
“Hey, don´t pout.”  
Richard just raises his eyebrows, clearing away dishes.   
“I don´t pout.”  
Lees grin says something else entirely but he doesn´t speak about it, letting himself be guided towards the living room where furniture has been moved for the game to begin.   
“Oh I would love to see that.”  
There is something he would describe as cruel in Richards eyes and Graham just rubs his hands together.  
“Oh no! No, absolutely..”  
The thing with friends? You don´t ever need enemies anymore. Martin and Luke manhandle him until he stares at the little spinning wheel as if it would come straight from hell. He also tries not to be insulted at the guffawing breaths Dean gets out as he realizes that Richard and Lee wear matching socks. So what? They had been a gift from Richards mother and they were comfy.   
“That position looks interesting.”  
Martin grins from his spot on the sofa, where he and his wife have reclined. He as a judge and his wife happily documented with a small camera. Lee would protest or yell, but his left leg is next to Aidans right arm and his head stuck between Grahams legs looking at Luke. They are all – well – plastered and it is before nightfall, so when One of them starts to sing _the limbo dance_ very off key it is not his fault that they all collapse in an ungraceful heap.   
The best part of his day so far, beside all his worries? Richard laughs, they both do and still smile as they wave of their friends, collapsing clothed on an unmade bed.


	42. Top of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee surprises Richard in more ways than One

Lee has never been to a premiere in his life but he is determined to go to Richards play. Well, he stars in _Macbeth_ and Lee learns about the meaning of not to name that play by its name, on why there is a rule for not applauding on stage and all that, coming to the conclusion that actors are a little like hobbits – a strange folk indeed. He giggles at his own joke, righting his tie, smoothing his hair back into something that resembles an actual haircut and nods at the mirror. Carl approves by barking happily. Tonight it would be him, surprising his boyfriend, even if he feels the need to run to the bathroom every five seconds.   
That is okay. He hasn´t seen Richard all week and he wants to surprise him at the theater, sneaks past reporters and fans and is ushered into the dark room, watching in rapt attention. At the end of it he is shaken but pleased that Richard can pull such a thing off. He hesitates for a moment if he should go backstage, doesn´t know if Richard would want that, even if he had asked if he would come to the premiere.   
Lee had told him that he didn´t know with everything going on business wise , but in truth he had held the ticket that Graham sneaked him close to his heart, even in his pajama bottoms, so who was he kidding. He knocked on Richards door after a few moments, only to have a snarling man open the door, still covered in artificial blood. Once Richard sees him though, there is surprise in his face, eyes entirely Richards own under the make up and costume. The breath he hasn´t known he had been holding comes out in a great, almost painful hiss and he gives Richard the flowers with a shaky, teary eyed smile.   
“Hey.”   
He says, all other words dying in his throat. Strong hands pull him close and he doesn´t give a shit about the tux that will be ruined or that the flowers are slightly crushed between their bodies.   
“You came.”  
Richard breaths in his ear, kisses him sloppily and looks at the roses that have lost a few petals in the process. He blushes the shade of the flowers Lee gently lays down on the stool next to Richard, chuckling.  
“Course I did or do you think anything in this world would prevent me from being with my soon to be husband?”  
The answer Richard wants to give to that is prevented by Lee kissing him again, shaking his head.   
“No, you don´t get to do that. I came here to sweep you off your feet, so to speak.”  
Richard grins at that, eyes still shining with nothing but love, the remains of his role bleeding away. He raises his eyebrows, looks Lee over again.  
“You sure you want to do that?”  
He isn´t talking about the press, Lee knows that. He is talking about the twister turned disaster episode that the both of them are never going to live down. Well, Martin made sure to have the pictures developed and plastered them around the backroom of the freshly restored bookstore, making Lee choke on his coffee and chase him around for ten minutes before giving up, followed by Richards howling laughter. Martin and him , that is a love story in itself, he guesses – brotherly but none the less, it is there – stronger than before after the fire.   
“Yeah.”  
Lee grins, cheeks pink and bright as he thinks about it, giggling after a minute.   
“It was so hard to keep that a secret, especially because you kept asking me and I couldn´t tell you that I already had a ticket and all that.”  
He bit his bottom lip, looked down.   
“And I wanted to say thank you to you. For everything.”  
Lee doesn´t look at Richard when he says that because if he would, he would certainly start to cry – being emotional like he always is. Richard seems to know, tugs him closer for a second, brushing knuckles over a cheek.   
“Got a moment? I have to change – well if we don´t go feasting somewhere a crown and blood stand out. Otherwise it would be okay I guess.”  
Richards sense of humour makes Lee smile no matter what. God, he loves that man, even if they took a month to decide on the wedding cake. Also there is the matter of Ginny Andrews will Lee pretends not knowing about for Richards sake. Not that they don´t talk about everything and decide things together but he wants to give Richard time to process that Ginny obviously wants the boy to spend more time with Richard than with his own father. The letter had laid on the kitchen table, among a pile of other mail and Lee had found it by cleaning up. Like a train wreck he thinks, and so he wasn´t able to look away, read it before putting it back into place. Tonight, however isn´t about that and he won´t let his good mood turn sour.   
“Sure.”  
Is what he tells Richard, waiting for the other man to change. He can hear a shower start to run and the longing in him is only squelched down by the plans he had so carefully made. It was sort so saying something about that being serious if he of people started making plans and followed them through. Richard emerges freshly showered and in a suit, hair curling around his ears from the shower. Lee smiles at that, hands him the flowers.   
“Hope you don´t mind me kidnapping you from the after show party?”  
Richard just waves the flicker of doubt crossing Lees face away with a dismissive hand and a smile. He would have only gone anyway if Lee wouldn´t have come, but Lee was there so the whole thing goes without saying. The younger man is giddy, wants to bounce on his toes as he ushers Richard away from the crowd of people still milling about. He knows it is selfish to stake claim on Richard like that but he wants to do it anyway, does it by pulling him to an overly large stretch limousine, flushing as Richard raises his eyebrows. Well, if he wanted to be romantic, it damn well could be like in a overly sweet movie, couldn´t it? And wasn´t it Richard who had once accused him of liking those things? So, it was really Richards own fault following Lees logic.   
“Care to tell me where we go?”  
Richard is sneaky like that, eyes wide and pleading, hand on Lees thigh and Lee reminds himself of plans. Plans he had made, calls he had on the toilet because he didn´t want Richard to find out, so he shakes his head.  
“I really enjoyed the play.”  
At that Richards whole expression changes and he stares out the window of the car, lets the night pass them by.   
“Thank you.”  
He says quietly and Lee wonders if he has said something wrong, squeezing Richards hands in his.   
“There is nothing to thank me for, Rich. You were amazing. And scary but I guess that is the point of it.”  
Richard says nothing to it, just turns his face back to Lee, leaning in closer, pressing their foreheads together where the sit opposite each other, running fingers through Lees hair.   
“No, I mean it. It means a lot to hear that from someone you love. Someone you are willing to spent the rest of your life with.”  
Lee swallows around his to tight throat and is saved by the limousine pulling up in front of what looks like a pie shop. At that he frowns but lets himself be lead through the entrance beside the pie shop and into an elevator. For a moment he wants to ask Lee what the hell is going on when he is dragged onto a roof. He stops dead in his tracks however when he sees it. At least a hundred candles are strewn around the flat roof, the New York Skyline stretching out around them. There is a picnic blanket in the middle of it, a pie and two forks next to a chilled bottle of champagne.   
“Surprise.”  
Lee says, teeth in his bottom lip, having a fleeting moment of doubt that this isn´t enough until he is pulled in and kissed rather breathless.   
“You did this for me?”  
Richard asks, flabbergasted, kisses Lee again before looking around the roof and Lee just nods. Well, he did have help from Dean and Aidan, because it would have taken just too long do it all by himself but he nods all the same, guides Richard down onto the blanket, makes him sit on one of the overly large pillows that serve as chairs. Lee wants to say something cheesy like that he would pull down the moon and steal the stars for Richard but stays quiet because firstly it is reflected on his face, and secondly the moment is beautiful as it is. A few minutes later he tries to feed Richard a piece of strawberry pie only succeeding in nearly dropping the spoon as Richard makes kissy faces at him.  
“Oh stop that.”  
Perfect opening, he knows.   
“You didn´t say that last night.”  
Damn. The blush is reaching the tips of his ears and Richard laughs quietly, pulls Lee over by the waist and pulls him close so they sit side by side. Richard closes his eyes ,holds his nose into the crisp night air before pressing his head next to Lees, stealing warmth at a sudden chill, one arm around Lees waist.   
“I got a letter.”  
Lee says nothing.   
“You know, from Ginnys lawyer. A copy of the Will. She wants.. wanted.”  
Richard stops and Lee presses a kiss to his temple, refilling their champagne glasses after a moment. He knows what stood in the letter but he doesn´t want to push.   
“She wanted the boy to spent time with me. Thought I would be a good father for some reason. I made clear to his father that it would only work if the boy spends time with both of us.”  
Lee stills at that in his movements, nestles next to Richard again and hands him the slightly too cold champagne. Not that they would notice.   
“Oh? Well, there is only one question that needs answering then, isn´t there?”  
Richard frowns at him, eyes bright under long lashes.  
“Who is the _no_ dad then? You know, the one of us who says no, when he wants to ride on turtles because he has seen _Pirates of the Caribbean_ or something like that, because god – that so isn´t me.”  
For a long moment Richard is quiet but then his face breaks out into a grin, nearly splitting his face in two.   
“You are impossible.”  
Lee nods at that. Perfect opening.

“You love that about me.”  
Richard just smiles brighter, stealing a piece of Pie.   
“That I do.”


	43. Bondings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Richard and Lee try their parentsl skills and life goes on . This could be the start of something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :) Thank you for staying tuned and all the loevly feedback and kudos :) It really helps feeding the muse <3

There are moments when you hate the world. You know, the days that start with you falling out of bed ,stubbing your toe and screaming, thus waking your still sleeping partner. Richard never thought about having mornings like that until he expieriences them, waking next to Lee. He glares at Carl who is much to happy for his taste in the morning and doesn't give a damn about his aching toe. Lee wants to laugh, he knows it, sees it in the way the face muscles of his boyfriend mouth twitch.  
"I'll go and get a band aid."  
He whispers, chuckling and screeching as he is thrown back onto the bed.   
"I don't need a bandaid."  
Lee still laughs under him, a bright sunny sound that makes Richard happy enough to forget the mild pain he is in. Also the reason as to why he is so anxious and tossed and turned in his sleep. Lee remembers that well enough, because he came back home, juggling grocery bags in his arms whrn he heard Richard all but scream into the phone. With raised eyebrows he had watched Richard paceing the living room, Carl hot on his heels and a cigarette dangling between his lips. Yep, Richard was stressed.  
"Are you still with me Lee?"  
Lee had the grace to blush when caught drifting off into his thoughts. Stroking over Richards back he sighed, rolling from under him and standing.  
"Sorry, just thinking."  
His eyes drift to the overly large stuffed animal sitting on a chair in the corner.  
"Think this might be a bit much?"  
Richard asks for the sixtieth time or so, eyes darting between Lee and the teddy nearly reaching his knee. Okay, so he had bought the biggest thing they had for the boy partly because the little guy would be coming with his grandmother. At that Richards lips curve into a snarl and Lee pats him on the back.  
"You know what, how about we pick them up at the airport like we said, see how everything works out and maybe try it with chocolate first?"  
Lee really tries not to laugh but fails at the utter puzzlement on Richards face but fails, steers him into the kitchen were he firstly prepares Carls breakfast before makimg them toast and coffee. The coffee is for himself because he once tried to make Richard tea. Not that Richard hadn't drank it but his face had told Lee everything he had needed to know.  
"How can you be so calm about that?"  
Lee wonders that himself sometimes but doesn't find it himself to answer, lest he might become angry at Richards disbelieving tone. Munching his toast, feet crossed at thd ankles he shrugs, face trying to be neutral as Richard mutters something about Americans whilst preparing his tea.  
In truth Lee is all but calm. He is the mere opposite of it since Richard got the call from Mrs.Andrews telling him in crisp tones that although she would think Richard being the worst man in the world that she would like to honour her late daugthers Will. That included her bringing over James as he was not able to fly on his own yet. God knew the boy had wasn't to blame on the family he comes from.   
"We will be fine. Please stop murdering the toast."  
Richard sighs, hands planted firmly on the kitchen counter and Lee stands, wraps his arms around the slightly shorter man and strokes over Richards arms.  
"Well, it can't get worse, can it?"  
Lee doesn't even dignify that with an answer, just thankful that Richard has got a few days off and he can trust Martin enough to run the store for a few days with the the help of the young man he had hired. Lee had overseen the hiring this time in person. The drive to the airport is made in relative silence , only the radio quietly playing music in the backdrop.  
"Are you mad Lee?"  
Lee sighs, knows what that is about.  
"No.It isn't your fault that they messed up the reservations for the wedding. No big deal."  
It was a big deal. Actually so big that Richard had stormed into the kitchenafter hearing the smashing of dishes, seeing Lee with a red face and hearing him scream. The whole mess has delayed the wedding date from November to June and Lee had been pissed as much as Richard. Another sigh toreits way from the younger mans throat but he smiles at Richarf, kissing him as they stop at a red light. His lips twitch as he looks at the large stuffed animal strapped into the back of the car.  
"Really, baby I am not mad at you. And those other things, well they happen."  
He knows how that sounds but he has to concentrate on the road. They reach the airport soon after and Richard pulls his basecap further down as people start whispering. Maybe the teddy was a stupid idea he thinks while signing autographs and takimg pictures with people regocnising him. The stuffed ankmal, currently clutched by Lee. The are mostly unnoticed after that, thank god and the half hour it takes until the flight lands is spend speaking in quiet tones.   
Richard nudges him in the side as an elderly woman approaches them with a little blonde boy in tow. She doesn't even greet him but exchanges contact data with Richard before nudging the little boy a bit forward.  
"Be a good boy, say hello to your uncles."  
The boy blushes, shuffling his feet before looking up at Richard who is kneeling now.   
"Hello James."  
He tries and flinches a bit as the child wraps his arms around his neck, throwing a sideways glance at Lee.  
"I think, someone is tired."  
Lee supplies and Richard lifts the boy up who finally utters a shy hello, eyes on the teddy Lee is still juggling nex to the adorable Superman suitcase containing all the things they might need while having a small child around. A small child now sucking on his thumb and gazing longingly at the teddy nearly as big as him. Richard tries to hide the smirk that wants to come to his face.  
"Hey, how about uncle Richard here,teddy and you little man go into the back and I'll drive you all."  
James grins, squealing as Richards tickles him, giggling all the while.  
"What's so funny?"   
Richard asks curious and the boy looks towards his shoes, peering up at Lee.  
"Lee talks funny, you know."  
Richard gloats at that and Lee inwardly curses at seeing how much the other man enjoys that.  
"What do you mean, mate?"  
He asks brushing stray curls back into place, burning for the answer and happy in knowing that Lee can't do anything about it right now.  
"Like ya know, the cowboys on the telly and stuff."  
Richard bites his lips to hold the laughter in.  
"Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"  
Lee blushes but says nothing, enjoys how they interact immensly even if it hurts a bit to see that those things can be so easy and weren't for him. Pushing that aside his eyes flicker to the road again, nearly choking on the next question that is innocently thrown his way.  
"Do you like to ride then, like a real cowboy, Lee?"  
That is the point Richard can't hold in his howling laughter anymore completely drowning out Lees answer.


	44. Trouble calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This could be a family. Not everyone wants that, but they are both willing to fight for that, aren´t they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on it goes :) Have a wonderful day everyone ^^! And thanks again for the lovely feedback <3

James is a delightful little boy, Richard is pleased to discover and he reminds him a lot of Ginny in her calmer moments. It could also be that the boy is relatively young, not yet past the age of innocent and Richard sometimes wishes to be at that age again where he never really cared about anything else than hot chocolate. Speaking of which – he is trying to prepare a pot, hasn´t done so in a long time when he hears a fearful cry from next door. He lets the spoon he is holding drop, races from the kitchen into the living room, only to find the source of the cry being James who is mercilessly tickled by Lee.  
After being relieved Richard glares at his partner, arms crossed and he would have said something if the chocolate hadn´t chosen that moment to boil and overflow. God damn it. Lee still grins, James securely tugged against his side, half an hour later.   
“That scared the shite out of me, you know, you tosser?”  
Richard grumbles, looking at the child currently asleep. It isn´t easy to have a small child around, even if it just for a few days but he wants to. He wants to because James starts to grow on him, on them and as he looks at the peaceful image they both paint he never wants to let go of this little family. A thought that spreads in him, makes him all soft inside. Lee can see it, he knows that, but he doesn´t comment on it and Richard is glad for that.   
“I am sorry.”  
Lee says instead and he is not sorry at all, Richard knows that well enough by the grin that is plastered upon the younger mans face.   
“No, it´s alright. I am just not used to squealing children around me. And his grandmother would have a field day if anything would happen, you know – she always loved it to rub my failures into my face, the old cow.”  
Lee just laughs mildly, rearranging the child so that he is resting against Richards body before he stands and walks away a few paces. Richards recognizes that gesture. It happens when Lee thinks something he doesn´t want to say but can´t bring himself to say out loud. He sees it in the way Lees shoulders are hunched and the tension in his neck.   
“I know I asked you that before Richard. Many times. I know I shouldn´t ask you again.”  
From the tone of it Richard knows that Lee _will_.  
“Yes?”  
He asks, calm on the outside, gaze flickering to the child asleep next to him. Sometimes he wonders why Lee is so insecure about many things but he doesn´t want to ask, doesn´t want to push. The question Lee is about to ask doesn´t leave his mouth, he just shakes his head instead.   
“Later.”   
Richard is quiet when he replies.   
“No. Now.”  
And Lee turns, eyes unsure and glassy, blinking, hands shaking before he can help it. The air around them is tense enough to be cut now and the thing that makes it worse is that neither of them yells.   
“Do you want this? Me? All of it?”  
Richard is tired of that being asked, thrown at him like stones. He fucking hates it but swallows the scream of frustration that builds in his throat none the less, sighs.   
“We had this conversation, didn´t we? And I said yes, didn´t I?”  
Lee nods, calmly producing a glossy magazine that he hands Richard with maddening grace, still shaking fingers be damned. Richard scans it for a moment, wonders what he should do with a tabloid that proclaims one can loose weight in four days or less.   
“Page twenty six.”  
Lee says, flopping down next to James who stirs, strokes absently through the hair of the boy, kisses the top of his head. Richard is quiet as he reads the interview Ginnys mother has willingly given the magazine, even going as far as supplying pictures of the happy couple she claims Richard and Ginny were. If Ginny would be still alive, she would laugh. He doesn´t say anything for a moment, breathes through his nose as he reads words like _publicitiy stunt_ and _farce_  
The speed in which he picks up his phone is remarkable for someone not knowing where their head is at the moment and he wants to scream at her before he hangs up, tries to think it through. Every step taken to hastily could be a step making them stumble.   
“Well, she has style. The style of an old snake shedding her skin, but style.”  
Lee fumes, trying his damnedest to smile for the benefit of the slowly stirring child at his side.   
“Hey.”  
He says when the little boy yawns, rubbing his eyes.   
“Can I have ice cream Lee?”  
He tries, eyes big and pleading, but Lee just shakes his head.   
“No, it´s dinner time soon but after we ate – and I want you to eat the veggies , not pass them off to Carl again – we could play a game with Richard, how does sound?”  
He turns to Richard who tries his best to calm down as much as he can, smiling through his clenched teeth.   
“Okay.”  
James and Richard say in unison and Lee smiles, sending the kid off to wash his hands, stealing a little time to talk.   
“Do you?”  
Richard asks all of sudden and in the chill that has settled between them through everything that has happened. It will go away, Lee is sure as he licks dry lips, eyes firmly on Richard.   
“I do.”  
It is said quiet and honest, something that makes Richard breath normal again and he pulls Lee close, kisses him if only to make sure that everything will be okay, that they will be okay. He tells Lee in quiet tones that he is sorry for the post phoned wedding, sorry for being an ass and laughs while Lee whispers that he likes that ass quite a lot.   
“Not in front of the children, honey.”  
Richard says before he can help it, freezes as Lee looks at him, calm and steady like the sea on a day without wind.   
“You know what. I am gonna look what takes James so long to clean those little hands and then I am going to give Lee a call, while you call Graham.”  
At that Richard raises his eyebrows.  
“Huh?”  
Lee nods, halfway on the way to the bathroom already, looking over his shoulder.   
“Yeah, ask him if he knows any lawyers that can help with guardianship’s and that. I doubt a grandmother dragging her grandson into matters the boy could well be harmed by isn´t really fit to look after him , now is she? And the father, god knows that man is a douche from everything poor James tells me.”  
Richard blinks, mobile half towards his ear, stops dead in his tracks.   
“Lee..”  
He says but Lee just waves, amazes Richard by the gesture and the change in demeanor, but that is Lee. A whirlwind of emotions. A small smile breaks on the actors face at that.   
“Go, call Graham..”  
He stops for a moment, laughing. He can´t stop laughing, shaking with it so much that Richard follows the sound of laughter into the bathroom. There is shaving cream all over the place and James looks like a little snowman, covered in tufts of it around the chin, thankfully not tall enough yet to reach the razor. Lee makes a mental note to put those things away later.   
Richard leans in the doorway, amusement visible on his features at the guilty look the boy throws him.

“Do I still get dinner?”  
That alarms both of them but they cast it aside and Lee nods, kneeling down and wiping the little face until it is clean.  
“Sure, Pumpkin.”  
Richard says and James beams up at him, stretching his arms out and hugging his legs. Lee says nothing, just smiles and writes another mental note to get new shaving foam and maybe an appointment with Luke soon.


	45. Battlefields

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets come to light as our journey continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little "filler" so to speak but I hope you enjoy it none the less :) <3

Luke sometimes wonders what on gods green earth went wrong in his life that makes his phone ring in the wee hours of the morning – or so he thinks, turning around and trying to ignore it. Really, he must have fucked up big time if he thinks of it, because this, this can´t be happening. He opens his eyes again as sleep still clings to his vision, looking at the wall of his bedroom.  
“Lee?”  
He croaks, eyes still bloodshot, and if it wouldn´t be Lee, hell he would have hung up already and told the person on the other end to shut it. Since it _is_ Lee, he simply listens and sighs, running a hand through his messy hair before he replies that he probably can´t help in the matter. Naturally the disappointment he hears in Lees voice makes him feel guilty, even if Lee isn´t trying to make him feel bad.  
“Lee, I didn´t say I don´t wanna help you. I just don´t know if I can.”  
And he doesn´t. He knew people that could be he didn´t trust any of them more than he could throw them and most of them were fat. It also didn´t help that it was still too early in the morning and on the other end of the line a child babbled into the conversation. The sole reason for the call, apparently   
“I´ll call you back, okay?”  
He says, sighs and looks in the mirror opposite his bed, trying his best not to lapse into wishful thinking again. He would move mountains for Lee, a fact he is painful aware of but doesn´t dwell on openly anymore. Lee has found someone he loves, really loves and whatever he feels is not of concern for the man anymore, if it ever had been. Lee is sunshine bottled, innocent in so many ways and he really wishes for the other man to be happy. He shakes his head when he thinks about how much of a sap he has become and dresses quickly, forgoing the bath he had planned and takes a shower instead, stuffing his face with doughnuts on the way towards Lee and Richards house. Of course he doesn´t call. Of course he goes there in person. A fact Lee might as well know from the way he opens the door on the first knock and waves him in.  
“Hiya.”  
The little boy at Lees side says shyly, hands smeared with colorful paint that clearly would belong on paper, not on clothing. Richard comes in and gives him a look all parents around the world have when they can´t get their children under control. And that is the problem right there, Luke can see it. They are getting used to it and they both have that look on their face that says they don´t think about the next day.   
“Luke.”  
Richard says neutrally. They aren´t at each others throats – which is good , he guesses and they are something close to friends, even if not the closest or best of them. Richard surely can live with that as he opens a bottle of wine for the grown ups and hands a glass of cranberry juice to James. It lands minutes later on the pristine white carpet and Luke bites his lip.   
“So, how does parenting go?”  
He asks innocently enough, raking a hand through his hair. Lee just flops down on the couch again and ignores the ruined carpet for the time being.   
“Well, what would you say – how are our chances? I mean – you know.”  
He gestures at James and Richard. Lee just knows that Richard has the itch to try saving the carpet but refrains from it because of Lukes presence. It is entirely to early to drink the lawyer wants to say but holds his tongue.   
“I don´t know. I really don´t. Is there a reason as to why you both want that?”  
The question is not fair, he knows that but he has to know, has to be sure that it isn´t something Lee does out of fear of losing Richard if he said otherwise. Lee just sighs, as always attuned to the thoughts of his friend.   
“Yes, there are plenty.”  
Luke gives him a withering look and Lee hastily continues of the latest happenings. He wonders sometimes if that is all happening for a reason or because someone somewhere has it out for them all. Seems like the latter, he muses and gulps down his wine at half past eleven in the morning. He could care less.   
“Richard?”  
Richard turns his gaze to Luke, holding in a sigh. Richard too, is tired of explaining everything over again, of trying to explain his actions or his feelings. Still, he opens his mouth, unconsciously searching for Lees free hand on the space between them.  
“It´s not about the bloody article. It is a feeling. Well, more than a feeling.”

“A feeling that is very thin, is it not? Look guys, I would love to help you but I can´t. I know someone who might be able to, but I beg you - think it through. Only once.”  
Lee all but snarls at him and he wonders what he did and for a moment the child between Richard and Lee looks as if it will start to cry at any moment but doesn´t.   
“God Luke, do you think this is some sort of joke for us? That we go around and want something like that because..”  
He stops, knows what is about to come up and Richard just frowns.   
“You know they will ask. You know they will find out and judging from what that woman already did, I wouldn´t be surprised if she digs deeper. I am sure it can be settled with money though. Well, at first. And I think that the two of you better talk that through before you decide anything.”  
When Luke is gone Richard turns to Lee, the stained carpet forgotten and James looks at both of them.   
“Are you sad?”  
He asks Lee after a moment, offering a stuffed animal towards Lee.   
“You can have Mr.Snuggles if you want. I always talk to him when I am sad, or scared.”   
He goes on explaining, eyes bright and innocent. Lee feels the urge to cry or punch something.   
“Thank you, but I am not sad, just boring grown up stuff, honey.”  
His eyes speak of something different but Richard doesn´t ask, just waits. Oh he has learned to wait, has learned patience to a degree now. So when James takes his nap he corners Lee in the bathroom, turns him until he has no way of dodging him anymore.   
“Care to tell me what this was about?”  
Richard speaks quiet and Lee presses their foreheads together.   
“My mother.”  
Lee says quietly, arms snaking around Richards waist. Right now he hates Luke for bringing that up before he could, dismisses the thought again. Hadn´t it been him who had called his friend, practically screamed for help? God, he didn´t know. Didn´t know a thing anymore.  
“Love, your mother died, you told me that much.”  
Yes, he had told Richard as much. He turns his head away a bit before he looks at Richard again, eyes misty and throat dry.   
“Well, yes. I also told you she was ill, right?”  
Richard just nods, nerves raw and on fire when Lee finally speaks again.  
“Luke was referring to the fact that she suffered from depressions and I was treated for them as well as a teenager. There was a time, ..there were not so happy times in my life and sometimes it still comes through, as you.. well as you experienced.”  
He laughs humorlessly, loosens his hold from Richard and goes to the medicine cabinet to get out the pack of cigarettes that he hides there. Well, Richard thinks – that explains it- even if the thought is too small but he doesn´t want to rush Lee, doesn´t want to cause him pain. More pain.   
“I think Luke - well Luke thinks that it could stand in the way of an adoption.”  
It clicks into place then, the fears Lee has, the way he always makes himself smaller. Before Lee can go to that dark place inside his head, Richard tugs him close, running a hand through his hair.  
“It won´t.”  
And Lee wants to believe that. He really does.


	46. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys have to take another step in their relationship. It won´t be easy, but there is a thing conquering all - hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, a longer chapter than orignally planned, but I hate to cut off in the middle of it. On the subjects of depressions and all that comes with it - I hope nobody feels violated or angered for I know from personal experience how you feel when that happens. I have had my fair share of illness, so I hope that doesn´t sound too constructed on Lees part. On a lighter note - Simon is based a bit (haha) on the lovely Simon Baker, but isn´t him. If that makes sense (godness, the weather is getting me) Anyway I hope you enjoy :) Thank you for the lovely feedback so far and until the next time *bows*

Lee remembers those years clearly, even if he pretends he doesn´t. He has a box in the back of his head where he stores the times that are unhappy and could destroy him. A smile creeps onto his face although it makes the corners of his mouth hurt. Richard just looks at him, oh he knows that look.   
He has been on the receiving end of it ever so often that he normally wants to punch it off the person who looks at him like that but since it is Richard he just tells him that he will go to bed early. A lie, he knows that and maybe the easy way out. If Richard will let him. The boy is asleep, blissfully unaware of the things that happened in the meantime because they were running around the house, playing outside with Carl and doing all the things that could possibly tire out a child in the best possible way.   
His thoughts were miles away, running through his head over and over again and he was pulled out of them by Richards hands on his and he looks up from his place on the bed.   
“You know.”  
Richard starts and Lee feels himself shaking his head before Richard can finish whatever he wants to say, pulling him closer and up from the place he is kneeling between his legs on the floor.   
“No, I don´t want to talk about that, not right now.”   
He says firmly, hopes Richard will be more understanding than some of the friends he hasn´t spoken to for years. Doesn´t know where they are anymore and could care less. He cares for Richard, loves him and that also is what scares him a bit. What if he _isn´t_ enough? It must show on his face, because Richard grabs his head with both hands, pulls him impossibly closer and kisses him.   
“Okay.”  
Richard says, all patience before he climbs into bed next to Lee, both arms around him and Lee is thankful for that. The next morning comes sooner than he likes, and he wonders a bit why Carl still jumps onto the bed to wake him, only realize it is James. Carl is dutifully snoring through his position as a guard dog in the corner of the room.  
“Hello.”  
The boy grins cheekily and bounces before shaking Richard awake. To his credit Richard tries to smile even if it is still early.   
“Good morning, pumpkin.”  
Lee hears while fighting the urge to pull the comforter over his head and makes another of those mental notes to ask how on earth Richard came up with that nickname.   
“Tell you what.”  
He hears Richard say and tries to pretend to be asleep for some more minutes – which was useless of course. So breakfast it was and he suppressed a smile wanting to spread over his face again while Richard tried rather unsuccessful to get everything on the table with a kid and a dog running around his legs.   
“Need help?”  
He teased and chuckled at the withering look Richard threw him. Their plans for today wouldn´t be half as amusing as making breakfast, Lee knew.   
“Yes please. For the love of god I will never get the hang of that blasted thing.”  
Richard gave the waffle iron his patented glare and Lee kissed him affectionately.   
“I love you, even though you declare war on household applications ever so often.”  
Lee said and he meant it. With a heady heart they dropped James off with his grandmother two hours later even if they didn´t want to. She still was his legal guardian and Luke had convinced Richard that he shouldn´t act on his instinct to throttle the woman, even if he so desperately wanted to. Lee could relate and so could Graham who had made a statement in behalf of Richard towards the press with the help of Dean that the relationship between Lee and him wouldn´t be platonic or a publicity stunt and that they would most likely sue the ass of whoever wrote that. The last wasn´t printed in that statement but it was clearly readable between the lines. For that Richard was glad.   
“You okay?”  
Lee asks, eyes on the road while Richard just stares out the window, barely holding in a sigh.   
“I don´t want to do this if this is too much for you. You don´t have to do it for me. I won´t leave, you know.”  
Lee swallows, feels like he has been sucker punched.   
“What?”  
He asks at a red light, eyes wide and unseeing. This isn´t about him, isn´t about the fact that he wants to please Richard or bind him to his side through bowing to his every will. Until a moment ago he thought that was clear.   
“I am sorry. I shouldn´t have said anything. I was just over thinking, that is all.”  
“No. I think it is about time that you speak about it. That we speak about it. Not in a car, mind you but maybe before we go into that lawyers office there. You know, the friend of Lukes who is willing to help us on a chase that will cost us a lot of strength. I am not a child or and idiot and I won´t kill myself over those things.”  
Richard turns his head so fast he feels his neck give a painful crack.   
“I never said that.”  
Lee looks at him steadily.   
“No but you were thinking it, weren´t you?”  
Richard says nothing and that is enough for Lee. Later, he thinks, opening the glass door of the building Simon Jones has his office in for them both before stepping in. He feels under dressed all of a sudden and Richard nestles with his tie.   
“Lee. I didn´t mean it like that.”  
He tries again, quiet and honest but Lee can be stubborn and he wants to be right now. They have to focus on other things. His eyes widen a bit as a man with blonde curly hair comes straight to them, green eyes sparkling and smile impossibly wide. He shakes their hands, motions them to follow him.   
“So you must be my twelve o clock. Friends of Luke ,right?”  
Lee simply nods, blinking at Richard as they both simply nod and are ushered inside. Luke is sitting in the office himself, nursing what looks like iced tea. The whole situation seems strange but neither Richard or Lee can put their finger on it.   
“I am Simon, by the way. Forgive me for the state I am in.”   
The man sighs, flops down behind his overly large desk and puts sandal clad feet up on it and there are sunglasses in his hair.  
“Golf?”  
Richard tries for lack of words, feeling ridiculous and a bit irritated because everyone they had passed so far was wearing a suit. Which should have been normal in a law firm but Simon just shrugs, wrinkling his nose.   
“Oh, god no. I was heading to California,well would have – to hit the beach but then Luke called and there are people in this world I can´t say no to.”  
Luke turns as red as his iced tea but refrains from saying anything. Simon as the man is called, just grins and gives Richard and Lee a knowing smirk.   
“The two of you must know what I am talking about. Anyways, I am afraid I am quite unprepaired but there are things I need from both of you. You know, the usual.”  
Richard refuses the iced tea, seeing from Lukes grimace that it will be too sweet for his taste and grabs for Lees hand. For a moment he fears rejection but Lees grip is steady and he knows whatever it was that angered Lee before is of no concern now. It relieves him a lot.   
“The usual?”  
He asks and feels dumb. Where are acting skills when you need them? Simon however, is patient and starts to explain.   
“Yes, dear.”  
He says and it makes Luke snort but the other man doesn´t say a thing, just listens and is there as a witness should Richard or Lee forget a thing or two.   
“Now I won´t pester you with the fee for my services, Luke can do that. Since you are – ah - _friends_ I will give you a bit of percentage, so to speak. Right, sugar?”  
Lees head whips around to Luke who is trying his damnedest not to sink through the floor while Richard bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud, making Lee grin himself.   
“True. I filled Simon in on the situation.”  
Is all Luke manages to say and Simon just sighs, shoving his sunglasses farther up into the mop he calls hair.   
“Well, I won´t lie to you. That will take time and maybe if the wind breaks and we file for adoption you won´t see the boy at all – as I understood the relationship with his legal guardian is strained?”

At that Lee snorts. Yeah, that could be the perfect for that.   
“What about the father? Is he still alive?”  
Richard has done his fair share of digging through the mans life too, so he knows that James father is still alive but doesn´t really qualify as a father – hence the guardianship being with Ginnys mother.   
“Yes. An alcoholic as far as I know. Never met him and don´t feel the desire to do so if I am honest.”  
The smile on the lawyers face turns feral making the hairs on Richards neck stand up.   
“Good, we can work with that. And the news article, that is pure gold. All that speaks for you. You two have jobs, income and you are healthy. Well.. on the surface everything seems perfect, and I am the last person in the world not wanting for you to be happy.”  
The smile vanishes for a moment and is replaced by a cold face Lee can imagine the man wears in court.   
“The defense, and there will be one -because god knows people like that, they don´t give up if they want to hurt someone else. It is in their nature and they won´t stop even if there is a child involved, believe me. They will dig up everything they can about you, sell it to the press with pleasure, because it gives them two things they desperately want. Money and attention.”  
Richard agrees to that, knows full well what the man behind the desk is talking about, never letting go of Lees hand. He knows there is more that will come from the way the other man holds himself.   
“Now, as Luke was so kind to tell me, there could be ...medical issues with One of you? I assume it is not you Richard, since I would have read that in the press, wouldn´t I?”  
Richard grits his teeth, but nods. It is a sad truth. Simon doesn´t give him a chance to reply, turns his gaze onto Lee.  
“You should know that Luke only mentioned it in passing, otherwise you could sue him for breach of confident.”  
At that Lee gasps.  
“What? I would..”  
Simon interrupts him again, shaking his head. He is in the business long enough to know that Lee isn´t the type to sue his friends.   
“I am just stating a fact. I need medical records of you, need to know everything about you, because those people will not stop to ask you nicely. Now Luke here, as lovely as he is – is a bad liar. Not a trait that is good for a lawyer, but what can you do.”  
Luke shoots him a warning glare, but stays silent.  
“Also I don´t think that he has depressions. You still taking meds for those, Lee? Ever been in the hospital? Tried to kill yourself? Come on, don´t look at me like that. Yeah , like you want to punch me. I am asking that as a favor to you, even if you won´t believe that. Answer, please.”  
Lees grip on Richard hands turns painful but Richard still doesn´t let go.  
“No. I never tried to take my life. I had therapy sessions when I was teenager and after my mom died but I am not having them anymore.”  
Simon just raises his eyebrows.  
“Out of your own accord or was ...you know. “  
Oh Lee knows, swallows.   
“No no, I attended every session. Got my seal of approval so to speak and take my meds.”   
He looks at the floor at that confession, knows full well that Richard has never seen it because he does it only after Richard falls asleep or before he wakes up. Yes, he has become good at hiding things and feels guilty about it. He fears the conversation of that already.  
“Good, good.”   
Simon says, scribbles something on a notepad.   
“And you, Richard. Any actor illnesses? You know, drinking, gambling – coke? Fucking everything that can´t climb the three in time?”  
Richard gasps, blinks. What the hell is happening? He liked the guy at first. His gazes flickers to Luke and he clenches his fist at his side, the one that isn´t gripping Lees hand.  
“Oh, don´t be silly. Luke hasn´t accused you of anything – I am just making sure I don´t take on a hopeless case, that is all. So, obviously no to all the above?”  
Richard nods again.  
“Good, good. Very good. I will write something up, please send me the documents I need. You know, bank statements, medical reports all that jazz. And a profound letter of reason as to why you think the boy should stay with you, next to the reasons I will find.”  
The grin that is thrown in Lees direction makes him shudder.   
“Alright then, I think this all? Our flight awaits. Oh, Lee, could I have a word – in private?”  
Lee swallows a bit, head whirling and thoughts reeling but he follows the man none the less to another office, leaving Luke and Richard alone with an uneasy feeling but trusts Richard enough not to murder their friend.  
“Yes?”  
He hears himself say, fearing for the worst when Simon throws him a beaming smile.   
“You think Luke would like the whole romantic thing, picnic on a beach or something like that?”  
 _Oh_  
“Er..I guess he more the guy to go for a hike or surfing, having a beer? If he still likes that, but I doubt he changed much.”  
Lee says, a smile tugging at his lips. Simons face falls a bit but he shrugs in the next moment.   
“Well, here´s hoping. “  
He says, steering Lee into the main office again where they all part ways, Luke looking a bit flushed as Lee winks at him, knowing exactly what the two of them talked about. Richard frowns at the exchange but lets it go as they are on their way to pick James up.  
“Are we okay?”  
Richards asks in a smaller voice than he wants to admit. Lee just squeezes his hand.   
“We will be.”   
Lee says truthfully, and reminds himself of Simons words. _Here´s hoping_.


	47. Of progress and names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That goes fast, Lee notices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :) Have a wonderful weekend everyone <3

Simon holds his word to them. He is most thorough in everything he does and it is neatly packaged and written down, including a bill that makes Lee blanch a little but otherwise he doesn´t comment on it. He trusts Luke enough in his judgment of the other lawyer and his lips curve up in a smile as he remembers what the blonde asked him. He wishes them both happiness, a piece of happiness Richard and him have and he sighs looking at his partner who is playing cards with James.   
It is a picture he could used to, he decides as he packs up a lunchbox for the child. They have decided to make a trip to the Statue of Liberty because James talks about nothing else and who is he to say no to that pleading look? A chuckle rises in his throat as Luke calls from California to check if the packet has reached them and ask Lee what the hell he has told Simon – not that he would mind.   
Warmth spreads in him while Richard snags a toast from him and he threatens him with the spatula. James giggles and runs around the house, nearly bumping his head on the table but Richard stops him with a hand between his head and the table.   
“Careful there, pumpkin. You don´t want to go and hit your head or you end up daft.”  
He grins and James gives him a toothy grin.   
“Yes Daddy.”  
He says before he runs off again and Richard can correct him. Lee stops what he is doing, putting the lunchbox aside for a moment before he turns. There are still many questions hovering in between them but that option they never discussed. Gently, he thinks, is the best way. Tell James that he has two daddies when the time comes but so soon? God knows that is fast. It seems to be their speed. Faster than the speed of light, he thinks with a smile, shaking his head again. Richard stands frozen in place, hands useless at his side.  
“Did you hear that?”  
He asks after a minute, hands raking through his hair and Lee merely nods, eyes on his fiancee. 

“Yes I heard that. You think that is a slip of tongue?”  
Richard shakes his head, clearly overwhelmed by the fact that someone would call him his father, but James is still young and he adjust fast. Something that gives him hope however slim the chances for them both may be. He dimly realizes that Lee is talking to him and he hasn´t heard a thing.   
“What?”  
Lee just sighs, catching James around the waist and hoisting him up on his shoulders, little legs dangling and hands fisting in Lees shirt.   
“I would say no, it wasn´t. I would be happy for you if James here calls you his dad more often, what do you say?”  
Oh, that is well played – Richard has to give it to Lee. James nods happily, grinning around a piece of chocolate.   
“Lee, we talked about chocolate, didn´t we?”  
Richard says absently and Lee chuckles as James face crunches up.  
“Why shouldn´t I call you dad. You sound like a dad, you know.”  
Ah, the wisdom of children Richard thinks, tittering and shaking his head.   
“If you say so pumpkin, if you say so.”  
Lee raises his eyebrows as he sets James down gently, grins at him and messes his hair much to the boys protest.   
“I have to ask, why do you call James pumpkin?”  
James, bless him, imitates Lees posture, chin tilted upwards to be able to look at Richard.  
“Yeah, why? I don´t look like one, do I?”  
The horror stricken face of the boy is almost too much for Lee but he holds the laughter in well enough to assure James he doesn´t look like a pumpkin and the blush Richard sports is too adorable for words.   
“My mum called me that when I was your age.”  
He mumbles into his beard, eyes anywhere but looking at Lee. The smile turns into a full blown grin but the younger man bites his tongue until his eyes are tearing up from not laughing.   
“You don´t look like a pumpkin.”  
James says, nodding to himself, curious eyes on Richard and Lee waggles his eyebrows and makes a gesture with his hands James doesn´t see because he is much too small.   
“Yes, I have to agree with James on that one. A peach is more fitting, I think. “  
Richard blushes deeper and the look he throws in Lees direction is one that says they will discuss it later when James is asleep.   
“I don´t understand you. That is no fun.”  
Innocence sometimes is a blessing, he knows that and is thankful for that when he retrieves the lunchbox. They make it out of the door before they see the car.   
“Pumpkin, stay here, will you?”  
Richard says and Lee clasps both arms around James small body, explaining that Richard and his grandmother will have a boring talk for grownups. It is a little lie but James believes it and Lee doesn´t feel guilty because the boy doesn´t need to hear what Richard has to say to his beloved grandmother. When Richard returns his face is grim and there is a hand print on his cheek he hides from James but shows to Lee. Lee winces in sympathy.  
“She took it well?”  
He whispers and Richard nods, picking up James and grinning.   
“Now, are you excited for our trip?”  
James squeals in delight as Richard tells him about the fairy and his heart jumps a little as a kiss is pressed to his still stinging cheek. Of course Richard told him that a bee has stung him and not that he got slapped for his actions and words by his grandmother.   
“Richard?”  
The boy asks in a small, shy voice that Richard has learned to recognize as the voice James uses when he is unsure or scared of something, like thunder. He had started to cry back then and spent the night snuggled safely between Richard and Lee.   
“Yes?”  
Lee watches the exchange in relative silence, taking a few pictures, unnoticed by both of them.  
“Are you mad at me ? For calling you daddy?”  
The actor shakes his head quickly, grins at James.   
“You can call me whatever you want, love, really.”  
James beams, turns to look at Lee and beckons him nearer. Lee hesitates for a moment but comes closer, not wanting to disappoint the boy.   
“What can I do for you, sir?”  
He teases and James giggles, looking towards Lee and bites his lip.   
“Can you be my American daddy, then? You know, if I want something from you?”  
Lee blushes, feels pride in him and grins.   
“Well, just Lee is fine for now. Anyway, we got a long day ahead of us, don´t we?”   
He says and laughs. They will have a wonderful day, and they all will make sure of it. And if there is a spring in his step when he finally walks to the car, Richard pretends he doesn´t notice.


	48. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee and Richard try to cope with events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :)Thanks so much for all the lovely feedback <3

The moment James has to part from them is the moment the both of them start to miss something. It isn't something they both mention but it is the thing they both miss. Lee looks at Richard and tries to make the best of it and sighs, turning towards Richard and trying to offer a smile.  
"Hey."  
Lee tries and Richard looks at him and sighs. God, how lovely it would be if everything would be normal. Normal to the outside world, he muses and gives a small chuckle. Richard and him, they aren't what is considered normal to begin with but Lee doesn't want that either so he muses that everything is fine. Richard uses the opputurnity to corner him , hands stuffed in his pocket. Why is nothing ever easy Lee muses but doesn't say a thing about it.  
"Hey."  
Richard replies and looks at Lee, eyes a tad tired and his mind a bit in a jumble. Richard has done a lot of thinking in the last days and hours , not knowing what would be the best for him, or them. God knows he loves Lee,never would doubt that in the slightest. Still, there is something nagging at him.  
"Lee."  
He tries again and so many things are rushing through his head, hands grasping for Lee. Lee throws him a smile then, hands pulling Richard in and close. God, he needs Lee to be close now, to be by his side.  
"Rich."  
Lee whispers and his voice is warm and inviting, knowing full well what will happen next. Yes, they love each other and everything will be okay but the way Richard looks at him causes Lee to utter a heartfelt sigh.  
"Look at me, please."  
God knows it is desperate and he knows that Lee wants everything to be fine. So Richard looks at Lee from beneath his lashes, sighs again. Why does everything to be so hard? His mind however shuts down a bit because Lee tugs him towards their bedroom. Oh, he is good at that he thinks, eyes raking up and down the man he loves so much. Yes, distraction is his strong suit.  
They will be the best of parents he tells Richard in a smooth voice, hands stroking over smooth skin before he offers a smile. Richard looks at him then, eyes serious.  
"I am looking at you."  
He offers and he doesn't want Lee to believe anything else because he loves the other man so much it all but hurts.   
"Good"  
Lee offers with blinding smile, grins a bit broader. The both know that the next days and weeks won't be easy but they just have to deal with it. He takes a moment to look at Lee, really look at him and promises him everything but Lee just laughs a bit.  
"Richard."  
Lee says, soft and bewitching, pulling the older man closer. He wants to show him that there is good in the world , that they can win. That everything will be fine. Richard wants to believe him, barely surpressing a sob as he sees the bubble foam bath they have purchased for the boy. It doesn't help that he will film in China come next month. That they will have to spens time apart again. It breaks something in him.  
"Want to take a bath?"  
Lee tries and smiles wider. They can use a distraction, god knows. Richard nods, lets Lee draw the bath while he quietly says that he misses James. Maybe, he thinks, it is wrong to mention that now but Lee simply squeezes his shoulder and tells him that he misses the boy too.   
Richard smiles at him when Lee climbs into the bathtub opposite him, kisses his nose and runs soapy hands over his body.   
"You are not fair, you know. I want to mope a bit here."  
Lee just raises an eyebrow, chuckles.  
"So?"  
It is a challenge, Richard knows as he pulls Lee close and up until Lee sits in his lap, grins down at him and moans as the other man turns the tables, whispers something in his ear that is dark and promising.  
"You wouldn't."  
Lee gasps when Richards long fingers lock in his body against that spot, making him arch his back.God Richard is good at, makes him forget the anger he feels towards the unfairness of the world. Richard needs that, too. His eyes practically burn a hole in Lees skull and Lee , mouth hanging open as he lifts Lee a bit more towards him gives a sound that is lodged between a sigh and a moan. They slip together easily and Richards gaze doesn't waver as he grows more and more impatient, water splashing everywhere around them.  
The moment Richard falls over that cliff he pulls Lee with him, doesn't care that tears mix with the water all around. Lee doesn't mind either, is jelly in Richards arms and lets himself be dragged to their bedroom. Then and only then he notices the phone ringing, picks it up and looks at Richard beside him.  
"Get dressed."  
He says and Richard doesn't even question it.


	49. Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they didn't count on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As our journey continues we also travel along. Thank you so much for all the feedback <3

There were seldom times Lee wanted to murder someone but right now, right there at the airport he feels like it. Richard just blinks at him, tired eyes on the security guard in front of them. It has been six hours now, six hours after they had been called from their bed and partly that was the reason Lee was so furious.  
If Lee was furious, the state Richard was in could be described as mad. Really and utterly mad. James should have been on the flight back to London with his grandmother. They had seen him last in this very spot and turned away, because god knew it had been hard enough as it was. _Should_ have been. Somehow the brilliant lad had managed to snuck out after boarding, using the moment his grandmother was on the toilet. His grandmother, currently in the air without him. Explaining that to customs was fun. So much fun indeed that Richard longed for the handcuffs on the security guard so he couldn't give into the temptation to strangle the guy. James was a mess, resolved to tears.  
"Honey, nobody is mad at you but your granny will worry."  
Bright blue eyes look up at Lee and he tries not to look to worried or tired because the child is scared enough as it is.  
"The officer said they will have put me in jail and so I gave them your number."  
Richard throws the man a look that could kill, Lee is sure of it. He heartily agrees.  
"Oh no honey, you won't. We will just have to check in with your grandma to let her know you are here."  
And that was the problem. Until the flight landed they couldn't take the boy with them as much as they liked. Richards voice is a mere growl as he turns towards the man who seems to be shrinking in the corner of the room. And boy makes that Lee proud.  
"What did you say to our child?"  
Richard fumes and Lee places a hand on his shoulder, reassuring and sweet.  
"Rich, come on."  
He hears himself say and pulls Richard close. Time is a thing nobody can measure and they both don't want to. When they reach James grandmother Lee is pleased to hear the fear in her voice and he doesn't blame her when she dessolves into tears for her benefit , no doubt.  
"God. Is he asleep?"  
Richard tries, fingers raking through the boys hair and Lee just nods, gaze steady on Richard.  
"Our son?"  
Lee questions, simple and brave, eyes trained on Richard. It isn't a question to begin with but Richard answers none the less.  
"Yes."  
Richard says, looks at the little body between them. Stolen time, he knows -they both know but still it makes them both so happy.  
"Well, how about I dart around that group of lovely old ladies and get an ice cream for all of us."  
It isn't even a question. Lee goes in search for that ice cream and Richard offers him a smile, small but honest. Naturally the woman on the other side of the line isn't pleased but Richard doesn't give a shit. Lee can relate.  
Half an hour they are all nursing their ice cream and Richard looks questiongly at Lee, eyes focusing on James.  
He tries not to sound to angry because the boy has been through enough.  
"You know."  
Richard tries and by god, why does the child have to turn watering eyes st him.  
"We are glad you are still here but you will have to go with your granny first, you know. Looking out for us if everything is alright."  
It slices something in Lees chest to hear Richard talk like that but he knows the other man is meaning well.  
"I don't want to go there."  
Stubborn, Lee thinks with a slight chuckle, knowing full well that there isn't much to laugh about.  
"Why?"  
Richard asks, kneeling and holding the small hands of the child in his. He wants to know, wants to prepare for the battle so to speak.  
"You can tell us, pumpkin."  
Lee offers from the sidelines, hands out the ice cream and waits with patience he never thought of being able to.  
"You are my daddies now, aren't you?"  
James declares to both of them if it would be the most normal thing in the world. So, they are, and they look at each other. Richard comes over, grasps for Lees fingers and presses a kiss to his temple, hoping for strength.

"We'll see about that,pumpkin."

He wishes for more, but he can't say anything else


	50. Sweet and Subtle. Or in between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard wants to do something nice for Lee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 50th chapter? o.o Wheeeee <3 Anyways, enjoy :) See you next chapter :D Thank you so much for your support so far.

She is a good actress, Lee has to give her that much when she lands in New York again, all tears and relief for a child she hasn't known was missing in the first place. Richard is quiet enough that Lee starts to worry after a while.  
"Can you believe that silly cow? Did you hear what she said?Did you?"  
Lee did because he stood next to her and by that he witnessed first hand what had happened. She had taken the next flight back but they still weren't able to leave the airport with poor James, so they tried to make the best of it, really tried. And it had taken time to convince James that he wouldn't have to go to jail. It also had taken a lot of reassuring to stop Richard from punching the security guard in the face. Especially because Lee wanted to do much the same.  
"Yes Rich, I heard. I was there."  
It came out harsher than it should have but the strain of the past hours was nagging at Lee. Richard looked at him, eyes half lidded.   
"Excuse me that I am mad at someone set out to ruin my life."  
Lee gritted his teeth, eyes blazing.  
"Oh, it's just your life now, is it?"  
He couldn't believe it but he just held up a hand. They were both cranky and tired and they had to go with James into the plane to convince the poor boy to stay, that they would see each other again. That was when she had turned towards them with a sickly sweet smile.  
 _You shouldn't make promises you can't keep._   
Richard could barely hold it together then and it didn't help that she had the nerve to smile. It was to hurt him, them and not the child, still.  
"We both know how I meant that."  
He said, breathing through his nose, eyes stinging. He needed a break, they both did. A childish need to run away arose in him again, to leave everything behin. Crawl under the blankets of their bed and trying to hide.  
Lee sighed looking at Richard from underneath his lashes.  
"They want me to go to a shrink, test if I am fit to be a parent. It was in the mail yesterday but I completely forgot."  
Richard pulled over at that and stared.   
"Why didn't you tell me."  
Lee gave him a hurt look and Richard gritted his teeth. _Well done, Richard_.  
"That came out wrong. " He said in a small voice. Lee just nodded briskly, leaned his head back and sighed.  
"You know, I've been looking at tuxes. And cakes. "  
 _Oh_  
"And?"  
Richard felt like the ass of the century as he pulled Lee close, not knowing what to do with his hands. Lee took that decision from him, grinned a little.  
"Well I thought the Hello Kitty One was a bit tacky and Spongebob One seemed a bit ...well."  
He laughed a bit at Richards expanse, shrugged. The truth was that he had looked at one of the magazines at the airport and eyed Richard, pondering what to do with the time on his hands. So the magazine called _Modern Bride_ had been a welcome distraction.  
"God I forgot. How could I forget that?"  
Lee gives him the easy way out and Richard feels guilty about it, more than ever before.  
"We were busy. Things happen."  
Richard wants to cry but instead he drives them home, makes sure that they both get some sleep. He knows there isn't much time between everything on their shedule but Richard swears to god that he will make that right before he has to leave for another movie set. There is a lot of cursing involved when he talks to his mother over the phone, thankful that she isn't able to smack him over the head with her trusty spatuala.  
"Bloody Hell, mum! I am asking for a cake recipe, not directions to find the holy grail."  
His mother gives him the recipe after she has told him exactly what she would do if he weren't an ocean awax. He chuckles at that, curses some more as he tries to read his own handwriting. He is able to do so after the third try, thanks to his reading glasses he denies owning. Graham calls him in the middle of his second try at baking After he explains what exactly he is doing makes the other man laugh so hard that he has to hold it a few paces from his ear. He is good at that , he thinks - multitasking. At least he tells himself that until the second cake is burnt to a crisp.  
"Are you okay Richard?"  
Graham asks almost gently, but Richard knows better than to fall into that trap.  
"Oh I am fine. We are fine."  
He almost see Graham nod.  
"Glad to hear."   
Graham wants to say more than that, Richard is sure but he tries to cut the conversation off before he can burn another cake to a crisp. Graham knows that there is more to it but he only reminds his friend to learn his lines. It is just to get a rise out of Richard, but he won't rise to the bait, no sir.  
So, when Lee comes home after overlooking everything at the bookstore and _working _there as Martin dryly pointed out, the greeting he has on his lips dies in his throat.  
"Is that frosting on your chin?"  
He asks, keys dangling from his fingers, eyes wide and smiling . Richard tries not to be insulted. He really does and fails.  
"Yes."  
Lee just raises both eyebrows.  
"Is there a reason to that?"  
Oh, he has to work for that, doesn't he. With a sigh Richard folds the newspaper he wasn't reading to begin with.  
"Yeah. I was trying to make a cake, making it up to you, for being a wanker and all that. "  
The three shades of red Richard turns tell him that it didn't work out the way it should have. It takes Lee about two steps across the room to kiss the offending piece away, turning it into a bone melting kiss after mere moments.  
"Hrm. If I would have known that cake has that effect on you, well."  
Lee just giggles, eyes zooming in on the cake on the kitchen counter. Or, what would have been a perfectly fine cake if Richard would have listened to his poor mother and had her patience. Lee finds it incredibly cute none the less.  
"How do you feel about take out?"  
He offers against Richards lips, soft and inviting. Hunger is the last thing Richard has on his mind but he blinks slowly at pamplets pinned at the fridge.  
"Italian?"  
He manages through the sudden haze and Lee just laughs again.  
"Fine with me. Although, I wouldn't mind something British either."__


	51. Another step in the right direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes are on the horizon and by god they hope that those are good ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go. My god, I remember that I said back then to myself - lets write a short story. Heheh - well, I am glad I didn´t and hope you enjoy :D

Lee thinks a lot about James and he thinks about the things that could go wrong if the test doesn´t work out the way it should. It angers him that he will have to take a test, as if he ever would do something to the boy, as if being sick had been the bane of his existence. There is a little voice in his head that tells him that it is his own fault but Richards hands distract him , fix a ties around his neck. All will be well the simple gestures tell him, all will be fine. You are not alone in this.   
Of course Richard doesn´t tell him that, not in words anyways, because he doesn´t want to hear it anymore, can´t stand the thought of Richard being another one of those people around him telling him everything will be just fine. Richard understands that. If not from his profession, he does it from the things that had happened in his life.  
“Hey.”  
He says and presses a kiss behind Lees ear. Lee manages a little smile but his hands shake none the less. He knows the questions that will probably be thrown his way, had heard them before. Nobody did understand it back then, so why would people now. The dark place he goes to is the place Richard pulls him out of in more ways then One. They have decided on a cake for starters and even a theme. There is something he looks forward too and he imagines how adorable James would look in a tuxedo next to them.  
Another sigh tears itself from his throat. He needs to concentrate, needs to be ready. His shoulders are so tense, he wants to scream but doesn´t.   
“You look pale.”  
Richard tells him the obvious and he wants to be mad at the man at his side but doesn´t find the strength to yell at him. There is no reason to do so anyway and so he just shakes his head, glances at Richard in the mirror he stands in front of. Distinctly he can hear the voices in his head arguing. One like his mothers, the other like his fathers. He shuts them both out, breathes in, exhales painfully.   
“I shouldn´t have to be doing this. What right do they have to do that?”

Richard would give anything to get that look off Lees face but he knows he can´t. Won´t be able to save him from that.   
“You knew this was coming.”  
He says , patience paper thin and Lee doesn´t blame him. Not after the news article, not after the journalists hiding everywhere in front of their house. There will always be gossip about them but dragging an innocent child into it – the press did have field day with it. Of course she had talked and of course everyone else around her had talked.   
“Ready?”  
Richard tries again, a comforting hand on Lees arm. The last time he has seen a shrink was after his mother had died and he hadn´t really liked it , to say the least. He had hated every minute of it, come to think of it.   
“As I ever will be.”  
He says, tries for humor and fails at it. They make it out of the door, a gaggle of journalists already waiting and screaming something their way. It is all white noise and doesn´t make sense so they both shut it out.   
Doctors offices look all the same to him, Lee tells him, shuts his eyes. He feels sick, feels like he might throw up every minute now but nothing comes up. It is a woman opening the door, warm and inviting handshake. He doesn´t even want to know her name, refused to listen to her the first time she mentioned it.   
“Oh, I know why you are here. Please, sit.”  
She tells him in that kind of voice as he stumbles over his words, palms clammy. The voice that is patient and knowing, all to well attuned to the things people around you need and think. Lee wants to throttle her on the spot. She offers them both tea but Lee refuses and she just smiles.   
“I am afraid there isn´t much I can do in the matter. I don´t see the need to prove anything to anyone from my point of view but I am painfully aware that isn´t how the world works, now is it. It isn´t like you can just wake up and say everything is okay, you are well. You are well enough from what I see and what we have talked about in the last past days.”  
And they have talked. Endless hours about endless things like his mother and his career, the accident and James. Of course they have talked about Richard, Lee had to give consent that they both could talk about him. It makes an humorless bubble of laughter rise up in his throat.  
“So, this was all for nothing?”  
Richard grits through his teeth, eyes blazing. Those people, there isn´t even a word for them. She gives them an icy stare, something that makes Richard flinch.  
“Mr.Armitage. I have done thousand of tests on people to prove if they are fit to be a parent, if I would see this as something useless I would have chosen another profession very long ago or mine not at all. That I am doing this much faster than I could is because I am a very understanding person, so please try to show respect. Pretend if you must.”  
That she does it partly because of the journalists in front of her office surely plays a part in it as well Richard assumes.   
“All I can say from opinion that there isn´t a test that proves you are a good parent but that there is also nothing that speaks against it.”   
The smile Lee throws her is real enough as they leave. Finally something good. Things start to look up as James calls them on Skype with the help of his very quiet grandmother. So, Simon had made good on his promise to write a letter to her. Richard feels himself grin. 

“You know, pumpkin, Lee and I were visiting a doctor today.”  
He starts out, trying his best not to look at her but only at the boy in her lap. That will change soon, he hopes.   
“Oh, are you sick?”  
The boy asks with a worried for a moment but Richard assures him that they were at the doctors to prove everything was fine. And for the first time they are all willing to believe it.


	52. Best laid plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee plans something. Well, he tries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :D Hope you have a nice week so far and still enjoy that story. I am planning ahead as we go, so please bear with me.

Martin gives him a look.   
“You have to be kidding me.”  
He says and throws his arms in the air. He doesn´t get it anymore. They were going over the guest list for the wedding while filling out orders for new books simultaneously. Lee just shrugged and looked down at the napkin he had scrawled names on.   
“A napkin? This isn´t a guest list.”  
For Lee it was. He had felt the last weeks finally wash away from his shoulders when news from Simon arrived that there wouldn´t be a battle for custody. Well, not right now and that Richards ex mother in law didn´t want to deny them to have the boy over for the holidays. He was also sure that Richard had something to do with it and smiled darkly. The press could be a wonderful tool, he mused, sighed at the task at hand. What was wrong with that?   
Richard had to go to China next week and Lee thought about the ways he could go about to make the ache less painful because he just couldn´t go with him. So he started to plan the wedding but after looking one book to many he had started to nap and dreamed about Richard in a horrendous Cinderella style ballgown, had woken with a fit of hysteric laughter and decided to ask Martin for advice on the matter, wanting to surprise Richard for once.   
“Well, there are names on it, aren´t there?”   
He said and he knew how that sounded, felt it in the way Martin looked at him as if he would be still a child but since Martin was his friend he didn´t say anything, just rolled his eyes.   
“You are a hopeless case, Pace. Really. Since he waltzed into your life everything is Hollywood with you, even the way you dress.”  
Lee flushed at that. Had he changed so much? Martin clapped him on the shoulder, threw him a smile.   
“Just kidding, mate. He suits you, you know. When you could refrain from having wild monkey sex all over the place everything is fine with me.”  
Putting his head in his hands Lee tried to take a few calming breaths, his face crimson   
“Martin.”  
He said, looked up as Richard walked in and hastily grabbed for the napkin he had written on earlier. How was this his life. Richard just looked from left to right, narrowing his eyes at both of them.  
“Do I _want_ to know what is going on here?”  
He tries, a cup of tea in his hand. Lee is up to something, he just knows but he can´t quite point his finger in the direction that is going, so he gives him a look that is well practiced.   
“No. Not telling.”  
Richard pouts. Martin throws his arms up in the air.   
“This about James?”  
He asks and there are worry lines on his forehead when he thinks about everything they have been through, the sheer amount of paperwork that had taken and that everything else had to be put on hold. Simon was a damn good lawyer, that was sure but there always was a certain amount of doubt with some things that lingered. They had settled the thing without a judge for now, but Richard made it clear that he wanted the boy to stay with them. They both could provide for him, were loving parents if anyone looked close enough – and they did, oh how they did.   
Still, it wasn´t that easy and they would have to meet in court come spring, _formalities_ Simon had called that and then, only then he had felt the urge to punch the other man. He hadn´t done that of course.   
“No, it´s just ...Martin is being Martin.”  
Wow, that made sense. Lee groaned. Richard just grinned, knowing full well what that was about. His glance shifted towards the table Martin was currently sitting at.   
“Seriously? Bloody Hell, I am never going to sit on or at anything here again without wiping it down beforehand.”  
Richard just cackles, sits down opposite Lee and smiles.  
“At least he can spend the holidays with us like he wants.”  
He hears himself say, gets a dreamy eyed look on his face as he thinks about all the opportunities that presents before he focuses back on Lee. Patience, they have to have patience and Lee he thinks, Lee needs a break as much as he does. It hurts him that Lee can´t come along but he has learned to cope with that. Should have coped by now, but doesn´t know.   
“Yeah. And no, isn´t about him.”  
Lees lips twitch as Martin gives him another eye roll. Richard edges closer, a hand on Lees thigh.   
“Oh? What´s it about then, love?”  
Lee swallows, says nothing and bites his lips.   
“For heavens sake! Not on the table! Please, I eat there.”  
The blush that had vanished from Lees face returns full force and he sighs. He doesn´t stand a chance it seems, so he drags out the napkin, hastily stuffed in his pants pocket.   
“I was trying to come up with a guest list for the wedding.”  
He says and feels a bit guilty at the look Richard throws him. Apparently that came out wrong. Like, really wrong, because Richard withdraws his hand if burned. 

“And you feel the need to hide that from me, why?”  
It sounds more curious than angry but Lee isn´t fooled for a second. It is a good question. Maybe it wasn´t just a surprise, maybe he wanted to have facts, be ready when Richard returned from China. Be safe.   
“I just..you..”  
He really doesn´t know what to say, glances into the direction Martin has disappeared into but is distracted by Richard kneeling in front of him, taking his hands into his own, eyes bright and promising.   
“I am sorry you came second place for the last weeks. I am truly sorry.”  
That wasn´t what he had been trying to say with the improved guest list, really – it hadn´t. It could have came across like that, none the less. Richard just looks up at him, strokes his thumbs over his fingers and nods.   
“Huh?”  
He says. “You know what, go and change into something fancy. We´ll go out.”  
Martin chooses the moment to come back into view, mumbling something about Hollywood again but just under his breath and Lee just shakes his head with a smile.   
“Do you you want to sweep me off my feet?”  
Lee teases, grin firmly in place. He feels better, more grounded when Richard is near. He knows that it shouldn´t be like that, at least not always but he shoves the darker thoughts away, stands.   
“Are you daft? I am not gonna break my back doing that. Italian.”   
He just says and Lee laughs.


	53. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard has a surprise for Lee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next installment :) I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for all the lovely feedback and comments <3

Richard smiles at Lee, eyes wide and inviting. This is about more than dinner, is about them finally having time for each other, finally being able to breath. Richard tells him how much he loves him and Lee believes it without doubt.  
"I am sorry."  
Richard says between bites and Lee nearly chokes on his food, doesn't know what in the world Richard could be sorry for.  
"For what?"  
He asks, glances at the actor from underneath his lashes and tries not to stab his delicious pasta with his fork.  
"For having to leave again."  
He says, eyes everywhere but on Lee. Oh, this could be interesting.  
"I know how much it takes from you to put up with me."  
Lee is torn between wanting to cry and beating to death whoever planted that train of thought in Richards head and it shows on his face.  
"I love you."  
Lee says and hopes that is enough, hopes Richard will be able to see past everything that has happened between them, to them. Richard has a rosy flush covering his face, licks his lips.  
"God, this is a bloody disaster."  
Richard mumbles, fork piercing his poor salad with force. For Lee he could as well speak Chinese, because really, there isn't anything that comes to mind that he himself would classify as disaterous.  
"I did plan that very differently, believe me."  
Richard mutters and Lee wracks his brain what on earth is going on, asks himself if it has something to do with James but knows instinctivly that it doesn't. It is a huge step in itself that the boy is allowed to spend the holidays with them, no small thanks to Simon and Luke. He smiles a bit at the thought of them being together but is happy none the less. He worries a bit because Richard takes a deep needed breath through his nose, fumbles a bit with his tie.  
"What?"  
Lee asks and wonders what on earth is going on. Richard swallows, looks at him over the salad and chuckles softly.  
"I had a plan you know."  
Richard tries again. Lee has to grin, can relate. He did have plans himself and they both know how that went. He watches in keen interest how Richard nestles at his pocket, gets out some sort of tickets.  
"Richard.."  
He says warningly but Richard interrupts him with a kiss that leaves some people staring and him rather breathless.  
"No. This is a gift for the both of us. I think it is about bloody time that we relax. And you were talking about how much you like Titanic "  
Yeah, Lee is lost. Hopefully that isn't the subtle way Richard wants to tell him he wants him to drown as revenge for the entire wash load of ruined shirts.  
"Oh for fuck's sake."  
Richard mumbles, head in his hands. He looks like he is in pain or serious thought. Lee has yet to decide what it is, face alarmingly red that Richard remembers that he likes Titanic. A fact he had told hi curled up against the other man on the couch and had hoped that the other man had forgotten it. Well, there went his hope, he thinks a bit mortified.  
"Tell me.Come on Richard."  
Right now he is so curious that he has forgotten all about the meal he is supposed to eat. Richard throws him a small smile, gives him another kiss. Not fair but effective to buy some time the older man seems to need to get the next sentence out..  
"I booked us a Cruise. When I am back from China and before James joins us for the holidays, we will go on a Cruise. On a ship."  
It comes out in a rush, words running together so much Lee has to strain to hear what is said Richard curses inwardly, congratulates himself for sounding like a moron but Lee just gasps, eyes filling with tears of joy and words catching in his throat. He wants to say that is too much, that will never be able to pay Richard back for all the things he already did but absolutely nothing comes out of his mouth, so he just stands up, rounds the table and plants kisses all over Richards face.  
"Are you even real?"  
Lee asks, slightly shaking and thinking about all the things they will be able to do. A dreamy look slips onto his face before he finally remembers were they are. He gives the tickets a closer look, only to be flabbergasted once again.  
"New Zealand?"  
Lee asks in awe, eyes brimming yet again with tears of joy. Obviously Richard had given that much thought, because he had mentioned only once that he would love to go hiking there. He had thought that falling in love with Richard even more was nearly impossible but he had been wrong.  
"I don't know what to say."  
He breathes out and Richard blushes, scratches the skin behind his ear. So he had been nervous, Lee notices and it makes his heart stutter and beat faster in his chest.  
"Just say yes?"  
Richard tries and Lee who is still standing in front of him smiles, kisses him again and tells him yes in every language and form he knows.


	54. Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard should have thought about that, really but Lee distracts him and makes it all so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys, thank you so much for all the support and love this gets, it means a lot to me and makes writing this so much more fun.

"A cruise?"  
Graham asks him as if he has grown a second head, horns and a tail. It is not that he had bought a rocket and declared that they would be off to Mars anytime soon. He can practically _hear_ Graham looking at his beloved Whiskey while cradling the phone to his ear.   
"Yes."  
He says, leafing through his papers on the nightstand and checking if everything is up to date. That had been why Graham had called in the first place because lord knew he forgot those things ever so often. He isn't ashamed that Graham is more like his nanny in that regard but he wouldn't mention it. He glances at Lees sleeping form next to him, resisting the temptation to press a kiss to the small of his back, because then that phone call would become awkward. With a sigh he distangles himself from the bedsheets and tries not to wake Lee. It had been a lond evening and Richard grins absently at the memory how it had ended. There were still teeth imprints above the freckles on Lees shoulder.  
"Rich, are you still with me, or has he at least managed to fuck your brains out?"  
Richard blushes, clears his throat. Graham snorts. That answered the question, he guesses and tries his best not to say something on the matter while gingerly walking to the bathroom. Maybe round two had been a mistake, his lower body tells him but stirs as Lee turns in the bed, sprawled out on the sheets. Maybe there is a chance that if Lee wakes anytime soon they could test just how sturdy the bed is. He actually giggles.  
"Focus, Richard. Do you have everything for your trip, because this time I won't be there jumping over bloody ropes, looking like an overenthusiastic fan of yours to bring you your passport."  
Richard frowns, pets Carl when he finally makes it to the bathroom, looks at himself in the mirror. There are scratches on his shoulders, no doubt from Lee all but clawing at them. A voice brings him back to the present.  
"What did you say?"  
He is glad Graham can't smack him upside the head over the phone and fears the day that it someday might be possible. He shudders a bit at that.  
"I said, have you forgotten, before booking that Cruise for that lovely boy of yours and yourself, that you can't swim?"  
 _Oh_  
"Oh.Yeah."  
Graham just sighs. It is the sigh of a long suffering parent telling their child not to lay his hand on the hot stove and failing, but he doesn't say anything else, just mumbles about ripping out his remaing hairs one of these days.  
For a moment after Graham hangs up he sits on the toilet seat, head in his hands. Of course that is how Lee finds him and he wants to hit his head against the tiles repeatedly.  
"Uh."  
Lee tries but he isn't really eloquent in the morning either, rakes a hand through his wild curls and gives up after a few moments, looks back at Richard and shooes Carl away, because Richard has that look on his face that tells him that there is something up.  
"Baby, unless this is some sort of method acting, tell me what is wrong?"  
He tries and Richard looks up at him, a flush on his face as he mumbles something.  
"What was that?"  
Lee asks and kneels in front of Richard, taking his hands from his face.  
"I forgot something. Well, not forgot but there are things I never really think about, you know like my passport and.."  
He titters at the image of Graham trying to bring him his passport twenty minutes before take off and being wrestled down by Security Guards because he had looked a tad crazy. Lee just stares at him, mouth opening in a cute yawn, cheeks flushed. The last thing on his mind right now is swimming but he has to get it out before Lee thinks he is a lunatic. That is, if he doesn't so already.  
"Go back to sleep, we can take about that later ,darling."  
He says but Lee just shakes his head.  
"Come on. Out with it."  
Richard sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and feels like a child. He was sitting on a toilet seat with the man he was about to marry holding his hands. Even in his own mind that sounded like a very cheap porn flick at the beginning. Oh well.  
"You know, in my desire to do something special for you and booking that Cruise I might have forgotten the fact I cannot swim. "  
Wouldn't it have been for Richards expression Lee would have laughed and asked if he really wanted to reenact Titanic. He didn't, just stood and pulled Richard up with him, kissed the tip of his nose.  
"I'll teach you, don't worry. I was in a highschool swimming team, remember?"  
Oh, he had forgotten that but nodded. Lee grinned and let the lie go by unnoticed for now. He didn't want to embarrass further.  
"Okay. That is good."  
Lee looks at him then, eyes hooded and nearly black.  
"You know, its not. It is only fair if you teach me something in turn. Tit for Tat, so to speak."  
Richards eyes sparkle and he licks his lips.  
"Isn't that blackmail?"  
Richard asks as calm as he can because he has a fair idea what Lee is implying when he swaggers off into the bedroom, pokes his head around the corner with a half lidded gaze, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. There is something dangling from his fingers and he knows without having to look further what it is. He had bought it himself after all and the old fashioned way, too. His ears turn red by the sheer rememberence of being in an adult shop asking for handcuffs and a blindfold. The girl behind the counter had stared at him for a moment, bored expression flickering up to his face. _You want that gift wrapped, sir? Oh and before I forget, we got a special offer on flavoured lube this week._  
He had bought three bottles to make up for his crimson face and the effort it had taken him. Back in the present he stared at Lee who was holding out his hands in a teasing way, flirting and batting his eyes.  
"I am waiting."  
He cooed and gasped as Richard nearly threw him on the rumpled sheets, cuffs and blindfold clattering to the floor. _Fuck that _, he thought, gliding over Lee, mouth latching onto his throat and sucking, drawing a moan from the younger man in response, his hands in Richards hair who had decended and bit down on a swollen nipple in warning as Lee grew impatient. This wouldn't work, so he pulled and tugged until Lees mouth was where he needed it most and the other way around. Lee understood without saying much, eyes growing impossibly darker and Richard let out a strangled shout at the first contact, mimicked Lee, used tongue and fingers, only stopping when Lee whined back in his throat. He turned them again, so he was behind Lee on his side, lifting one tempting leg over his own.  
They knew without words what they needed from each other and when Richard slipped into him he whimpered a bit but it was more pleasure than pain. Unhurried and slow, not like before, not like either of them had planned but as far as Richard was concerned, he could care less, watching Lees lips part on silent moans and pants, pressing kisses wherever his lips could reach.  
"Richard."  
He whispered, fingers lacing together and Richard gripped them tighter as he felt that it wouldn't take long now, felt Lee fall apart in front of him and followed closely after. He pressed sloppy kisses behind Lees ear, drawing little circles on Lees side, making him giggle.  
"You know, you are not fair."  
Richard says after pulling out and moving away.   
"Huh?"  
Lee says, turning to face Richard with sleepy eyes. Richard just solemnly.  
"Yeah there I was, moping and all, being my lovely grumpy self and then you come along, all smiles and tell me to get my head out my arse."  
Lee blinks a moment, throat bobbing before the laugh that wanted to come out finally bubbles out and Richard smacks him playfully in the chest.__


	55. Of Swimmingpools and Sharks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee tries to teach Richard how to swim. Richards finds out other things about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is -er. Well, I dunno but it just came to me and I hope you enjoy it :)

There are numerous reasons as to why Richard hates water and only one of them is the fear to drown. Lee however loves water, is so at ease with it that Richard has the impression Lee could life in it without trouble. He had laughed at that, waved it off. Richard stared at the water of the thankfully empty pool. Lee had pulled some strings at his old school explaining to his old teacher why exactly they needed to use the pool. He had readily enough agreed, of course wanting numerous things signed and taking pictures of and with Richard, promising that he wouldn't make them public. He better not, Richard thought darkly, eyes on Lee, watching closely.   
He had no trouble at all imaging a younger version of Lee making rounds in the water, muscles ripping closely beneath the surface, a determined expression on his face. Lee had blushed as his old coach had told Richard that Lee could act like a bulldog on these days but be the sweetest boy in the world afterwards. That also was something Richard could vividly see in front of his minds eye.  
He felt redicilous as he dipped one toe into the water, eyes not leaving the slippery steps leading into the water. In fact he was so much in thought that he all but screamed when Lee surfaced next to his feet.  
"Don't do that! It's not funny."   
There wasn't the slightest doubt in Lees eyes that he at least found it amusing to some extend but refrained from saying that out loud, bless him. A dark blush was staining Richards cheeks and Lee nudged his foot with his hand, beckoning him towards the edge.  
"I am not jumping in, forget it!"  
The press, if there were any, would have a field day with it. But there wasn't because it was well past ten in the evening and they agreed on a week with the help from Mr.Hopper. Lee had looked at him as if that would have been a gift and only because Lees face had fallen Richard had agreed. He would have been perfectly fine with not learning to swim at all. He just never came around to do so, he told Lee, giving him a charming smile.   
"I don't want you to jump into waist high water head first, don't worry Rich."  
Lee explains, eyes twinkling while Richard mumbles something under his breath that could be an insult but Lee chooses to ignore it. He seems rather joyful, come to think of it.  
"You're a smartass, you know that?"  
Lee just wriggles his eyebrows, hoisting himself out of the water and drenching Richard.  
"Sorry."  
He chuckles and Richard knows he is not sorry at all. Lee gives him a warm smile and Richard gives in, wades into the water, looks at Lee with raised eyebrows before he follows the other man back into the water.  
"And now what?"  
This is like pulling teeth, but Lee tries to be patient, knows how hard it can be to fight the fear of something.   
"Turn around, grab the ledge and lift your legs."  
He instructs and Richard blinks, mouth opening and closing. Lee fights the urge to roll his eyes, manhandles Richard until he is pressed against the older man and lifts his legs. Richard begins to panic instantly and Lee has to let him go before Richard actually kicks him in the head.  
"Stop that. Grab onto the ledge, nothing will happen, I got you. "  
His voice is calm, soothing and they try again and again although the older man curses and wants to know what the sense behind this excercise is.  
"I don't know about you love but the last time I checked swimming isn't like that."  
Richard grits out and Lee just nods his head which infuriates Richard further. If he wouldn't know ot was only in his best interest it would give the perfect scenario of an cheap horror flick or porno. The thought makes him snort, losing his concentration and hold on the ledge ge wa gripping. He can barely shout before he goes under , flais arms and legs so much that Lee has trouble getting him back up and finally standing. Richard is pale in the artifictial light of the gym but he manages to glare none the less.  
"Are you trying to kill me?"  
There is a laugh from somewhere above their heads and Richard narrows hos eyes at Mr.Hopper who did check back on them after he heard all the noise. Lee geits his teeth before he says something that would be rather unfair but Hopper knows that face, knows Lee long enough that something is eating at him.   
"Now, Mr. Armitage. Maybe you should start with one of those little boards, trying to keep you afloat before you actually suceed in kicking Lees teeth in?"  
Richard pales even more, eyes darting to Lee who just shakes his head and swims out of reach into the deep water. Damn. Hopper all but chortles, asks Richard if he really wants to learn how to swim. Richard explains why and that makes the old man laugh even more.  
"So, Lee you finally found someone as nuts as you?No offense Mr.Armitage."  
Lee just snarks something, ducks his head under the surface again and throws Richard one of the foam boards that are usually used to teach children how to swim.   
"None taken. People called me worse"  
Hoppers smile fades.  
"I can imagine. Also I think you sould take a break before you try that."  
He says in sympathy and watches Lee stalk out of the pool, frowning. Richard scrambles out of the water himself, flopping down on a bench next to the pool, closing his eyes, trying not to breath in too much of the chlorine heavy air. How people could enjoy that was beyond him, but he also didn't want to follow Lee in the changing rooms or wherever he went off to, because it would only lead to a fight neither of them wants.  
Sure enough Lee is staring out the window of the changing rooms, not moving a muscle.  
"You mean well, Lee. I know that, but don't push him to hard. He is afraid of water after all and that is the first thing he needs to drop or he will never be able to learn how to swim."  
Lee says nothing, just nods grimly and Hopper shakes his head, gently grabs his shoulder and turns him around. Lees mouth is set into a thin line, eyes fixed on the tiles in front of him. Mr.Hopper always has been a patient man, became more so over the years.  
"How is Danny?"  
Lee tries and the older man just raises his eyebrows, lifts Lees chin up in two fingers.  
"This isn't about Danny. I could ask you how you come by those scars and why he is limping slightly when he thinks nobody is looking, but I don't."   
Lee sighs, marches back towards were Richard still sits. He feels like a schoolboy again, flopping down next to him, gnawing at his lip.  
"You don't have to."  
Lee breathes but Richards eyes are determined as he grabs ths board, goes into the direction of the pool again, only to be stopped by the older man with a hand on his trembling shoulder.  
"No, not tonight boys. We can continue tomorrow. When we all have calmed down."  
Richard agrees and they both change, the air between them still tense. Lee all but squeals when he is grabbed by Richard as they leave after drying off and changing.  
"I am sorry."  
They both declare in unison, foreheads pressed together. Richard is the first to laugh because it is such an odd picture they paint in the parking lot of a Highschool after midnight.  
"I am starving."  
Lee mutters after a moment, eyes bright.  
"Oh no. I know that look."  
Richard groans in defeat and Lee whistles while he drags the older man towards the car, grinning.  
"You can't be serious."  
Richard tries again like a long patient parent finally giving in.  
"Nachos! Popcorn, come on Rich. Please. Think of it."  
Richard had, eyes rolling up as Lee pouts and he wonders how on earth he had become the person someone with big pleading eyes could rope into hitting a crappy drive-in cinema after midnight. A place they had discovered because Dean and Aidan had dragged them there once. While Aidan hadn't been able to hold in his laughter at Richards expanse, Dean had been able to keep his features in check. Not to mention that Lee had loved it. Lee who was now looking at him like Carl when he really wanted something Richard hated. He dimly wondered who learned from whom in that department but he would find out sooner or later.  
"Riiiiichhaard, baby - pleaaasse?"  
Richard sighs, long and suffering. He is lost.  
"You clean the car afterwards and tomorrow you won't go all _Little Mairmaid_ on me and teach me how its done right."  
Lee looks at him with a pout but agrees, finally planting a wet kiss on Richards lips, humming while he drives them to their destination. Richard peers at the program, eyes narrowing while Lee orders food. He nudges him in the side, reminding himself that he loves the man at his side who is barely able to contain his laughter. To be fair, Lee hadn't known what they would play, was there really only because of the food.  
"Sharknado?Really?"  
Lee can't help, cheeks dimpling as he innocently points out that it after all isn't a movie Richard stars in and so can be watched without the poor man beating himself up over mistakes he made while filming.  
"Wrong."  
Richard says in a stubborn, gleeful voice and Lee wants to ask what is wrong before Richard leaps over the seat, sucking a dark bruise on Lees neck and stealing a handful of the Nachos next to him. Lee stares.  
"Look closer love, I am the bloody Shark."


	56. Floating, Talking and Silliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The swimming lesson continues, Richard needs to prepare for China and life is just life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to go swimming, since it is either unbearably hot or stormy, but what can you do. That said I hope you guys have a lovely Sunday <3

The next two lessons are far more sucessful than the first had been and it also is because Richard is stubborn, goes out of his way to archive his goals. Lee is nothing but impressed. Also Mr. Hopper helps a lot with his experience and quiet jokes, is assiting them in any way he can. They expect him to pick them up at his usual spot but Richard screeches to a halt as someone about Lees age awaits them. The man smiles at them, grins from his position in his wheelchair. Lee seems to be frozen on the spot before his face splits into a grin.  
"Danny."  
He greets and Danny wheels up to them, shakes his head. "Now I understand why Dad had that huge ass grin on his face when he told me that he had something to do for me." Danny gives them a sad look. "That I live to see the day you forgot how to swim."  
Richard clears his throat to bring the attention to him, knows it is a bit childish but still feels the need to point out that he is there to. Two pairs of eyes look at him and Lee flushes.  
"Er..this is .. you know."  
The ginger haired man in the wheelchair sticks out his hand towards Richard with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.  
"Nice to meet you, you know."  
Lee rolls his eyes while Richard blinks.  
"This is Richard and he is the One.."  
Danny gets a huge grin on his face, nodding as they follow him inside.  
"Oh I heard, you two are getting hitched, my , how fast my little Seal grew up. I might as well shed a tear, give the good man next to you the talk normally a big brother would give."  
Lee groans and Richard raises an eyebrow.  
"I take it you two know each other."  
Danny nods again.  
"We were like brothers once, weren't we."  
There is something sad in that voice but Lee doesn't comment on it and Richard doesn't ask. Yet. They change in quiet and Richard takes a few deep breaths.  
"You know, I feel kinda nervous."  
He voices his thougts after a minute and Lee stops shat he is doing.  
"Danny is a bit weird but other than that he knows what he talks about, regarding swimming. He was considered to join the Olmypic team back then, before the accident. He is Mr.Hoppers son."  
Richard sighs, cursing that he was so obvious in his silent way of asking. Splaying his hands over his swimming trunks he looks at Lee.  
"You don't have to explain."  
Lee shakes his head.  
"No, but I want to."  
They don't speak much more after that and Danny just states as Richard swims, well tries to.  
"Excuse me, but could it be that you fear water?"  
He asks, knowing the answer already. Richard just looks away and the other man sighs. His father had filled him jn of course and first he hadn't be thrilled at seeing Lee with his soon to be husband, let alone teach the man how to swim. Lee and him hadn't see each other in a while although there had been phonecalls and E-Mails, still it wasn't the same and they weren't children anymore.  
"No."  
Richard says stubbornly and grits his teeth.  
"Dive."  
Lee and him blink and speak in unison.  
"What?"  
"You heard me. Here.'  
He says, throws Richard a rope to put around his waist and motions for Lee to swim around Richard. Lee does so, dips below the surface and he pulls Richard down with him. Richard screams but is pulled to the surface by surprisingly strong arms. He is aware of Lee still being under water, having donned goggles and a snorkle in the changing room already. So that was that had been for. His glare is fierce. A sigh from the side of the pool makes him whip his head around, swallowing the curses he wants to throw the man he hardly knows but is willing to trust because Lee knows him. For a very brief moment there he wonders if he has lost his mind completely now. The snorkle that hits him squarly in the back of the head wakes him.  
"Sorry. Poor aim. Put that on, will you."  
From the laughter he can hear but not see he is willing to bet that the man behind him is not sorry at all. He fumbles a bit, concentrates on using his legs before he dives again and looks for Lee. There is a shadow and for a moment he forgets where they are, trying to shake his fist. It throws off his movement but not for long. Lee grasps his hands and grins. Oh , that brat. He will pay for that, Richard vows to himself before they both surface again .  
"I don't know how that is supposed to help me learning to swim."  
There is another sigh thrown in his direction.  
"It isn't. That is simply so you lose your fear of water, get a feeling for it and all that. You know, I bet it would have taken Lee weeks to gently coax you into doing it his way just because he is so madly in love with you."  
Even in the water Lee manages to blush and and evil plan rises in Richard. He will, after they are done here, corner that friend of Lees, get information out of him and use it when the time is right. Well, if he doesn't strangle the git first. They try again and this time he manages, despite his panic to stay under water a little longer. On the third time he manages to grab Lees hand and even under water he can see Lee smile. There is a cough from somewhere above and a yank on the safety line around his middle a few seconds later and so they surface.  
"Wonderful, there you are . You had me worried there for a second. I would say that we should take a break before we continue."  
He gives Richard a pointed look.  
"As far as you told my father there is something with your leg?"  
Richard nods as he pulls himself up on the ledge, next to the man and clears his throat as Lee does the same  
"Hey love, can you fetch us something to drink.?"  
Lee just rolls his eyes but goes in search for the vending machine he knows since he is a teenager, muttering something under his breath.  
"Subtle."  
Danny observes dryly, turning to face Richard.  
"So what is is you want to know? Are you jealous or mad because my father gushed that his favourite problemchild finally has found someone to be with, an world class actor none the less?"  
Richard has the grace to flush, ears turning pink.  
"A little bit of both. Usually I am more private than that, but things change. People change I guess."  
He gives a smile at that.  
"Yeah, they do. Must be hard , I mean what those press idiots make up."  
Richard doesn't understand.  
"Oh I admit, I am guilty of reading tabloids. I read somewhere that you plan to adopt a child."  
The laughter dies in his throat as Lee comes back with soda cans, puts them down carefully.  
"That isn't made up. We are actually in the midts of the adoption process but thank god not every asshole got wind of that."  
His shoulders are stiff, fists clencing.  
"Oh sit, guys. I didn't mean it like that."  
Richard waves it off, is used to people judgeing before knowing and he can live with it, because he has to. Lee pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh, trying not to be to mad. It had always been Dannys nature to talk before he had thought it through and leap before looking. That last thought has a bitter taste to it that Lee pushes aside.  
"No problem as long as they don't write again I am preggers, or is it love?."  
Richard says suddenly in the awkward silence and Lee just stares at Richard who winks at him. They all start chirtling for a while before Danny claps his hands in gleeful anticipation.  
"Okay, on we go."  
They are bone tired once they finally arrive back home and Lee flops down on the couch, one leg draped over the armrest, the other on the floor.  
"Shouldn't that be my position."  
Richard mock scolds, arms crossed over his chest and Lee gives him a wicked grin.  
"I didn't mean it like that."  
The actor mumbles, slapping Lees knee and ignoring the adorable little pout gracing the younger mans lips.  
"Shame."  
Lee sighs before sitting up, stretching and Richard glares before his fingers twitch. Lees eyes widen. Richard grins.  
"No no no!"  
Lee chants but it is too late, Richard is already over him, tickling him without mercy until he is squealing and squirming underneath the older man and they both tumble to the floor. Richard stops dead in his tracks as he sees something he had forgotten. The suitcase mocks him, sitting there unpacked. He gives Lee a sheepish look and Lee follows it with a slight tad of frustration. He had almost fogotten about China and truly he hated it when Richard had to leave. Problem was that, if he wasn't mistaken that they only had close to two days left and literally nothing was packed. It was a sheer wonder that Richard had all documents together he needed to travel but Lee assumend - and rather correctly at that- Graham had to do something with that. So here they were, packing everything rather hastily and Richard tries not to think about what his mother would say if she could see him stuffing his socks in his shoes, cursing up a bluestreak. Lee just takes them from him and smiles.  
"No panic. First rule in swimming."  
That brings up another thought Richard had discarded.  
"This Danny. "  
He starts and Lee stares at Richards adorable Disney socks, a present from James for his birthday but he shoves that train of thought away for the time being. He seems lost, standing in the middle of their bedroom, clothes strewn all around them, gaze fixed on his bare feet.  
"Danny and I went to school together. And to prom."  
He says after what seems to stretch to endless moments.  
"Not what you meant, is it?"  
Richard looks away, sighs, his shoulders are hunched.  
"It is just, you seemed so.. so happy around him."  
It is clear what Richard means and Lee shakes his head a bit.  
"You are silly, you know. I was just glad that he still is able to do the things he loves most despite the accidrnt he had a few years back. There is nobody in this world I rather be around than you, and the only thing that makes me sad is this."  
Richard frowns at somewhere near Lees middle,  
"My socks?"  
Lee twacks him over the head with them.  
"No, you moron. Packing and knowing I will be waking up in a bed alone not having you around to complain abou my eating habits."  
At that Richard scrunches up his nose, pulls Lee close.  
"Okay."  
He says a little small and sad before he brushes his fingers through Lees hair, pulls him in and onto his lap, just holding on. Lee presses closer, laces his fingers together with Richard.  
"Tell you what, I make us breakfast to cheer you up."  
He says with mirth and chuckles as Richard makes a face before getting that evil glint in his eyes again that makes Lee pale a little.  
"Oh no, no you don't!"  
But Richard doesn't listen and starts were he left off, tickling Lee until he is all but hoarse from begging him to stop. Packing could wait.


	57. Us and the rest of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lee misses Richard, gets a stern talking to and a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again. Thank you so much for reading, commenting and leaving feedback. I would like to take the time to thank **coincoin_blevenneg** espacially this time for the lovely comments left in my way and because I didn´t do so sooner *goes and hides*

When Richard leaves for China it isn´t without tears and a lot of wet kisses they both aren´t ashamed of. It is hell, like always for both of them but they are a lot more used to it by now. Martin just gives Lee those looks from time to time , reassuring Richard will call soon. There is a time difference there, he knows but he can´t help and feel worried given their history. He gets no work done , decides to call it a day and not stare at the tickets for the cruise or else he will give into the overwhelming urge to cry and he promised Richard not to.   
He is trying to keep the promise, but seeing Richard a few hours later over Skype made it very hard not to break it anyways. Richard could relate but waved at him.   
“The hotel is lovely.”  
Richard says and Lee squints at the little blurry picture of him wanting nothing more than to have a real life Richard beside him, but he doesn´t say so.   
“Yeah? You gonna steal a towel for me there?”  
Lee grinned at Richards flushed face. Richard would never admit to doing such things, but he had done it, had brought home a new towel from nearly every hotel he or they had been in so far and Lee chortled at the lovely shade of pink his lover turned miles away, denying it.   
“Hey, it´s okay. It saves a lot of money and nobody has to gift us with towels at the wedding.”  
He knows if Richard would be in the room with him, he would smack him upside the head and ducks out of instinct, the same time Richard out of instinct raises his hand to do just that before stopping mid air, raking a hand through his hair and Lee has to grin a bit, watching as Graham strides past behind Richard, phone on his ear. Richard leans closer to the screen and Lee is able to see his tired eyes but they are full of mischief and he hardly can wait what the older man has to say.   
“You know, I heard there is an auction where you can sell of bachelors to the highest bidder.”  
Lee chuckled when Graham paused and managed to glare at Richard before continuing his conversation. Soon after Richard has to go and Lee waves, shuts his laptop down with a heavy sigh and fighting the urge to hug the inanimate object pretending it was Richard. He did that with Richards pillow anyways and it made him feel like some lovesick teenager all over again. The next day, Richard had told him, he wouldn´t be able to call and Lee had accepted with a smile he didn´t feel for the other mans sake, because Richard felt bad enough as it was.   
So, he told himself to man up, shaved and went to work and grinned at Martin.   
“Oh, so the hiding has stopped and you are willing to work. Wonders upon wonders.”   
The other man said, nodding. Lee blushed. He was allowed to mope, was he not. Well, he tried not at least, wandering around the store and sighing. He shouldn´t dwell on it so much, but he did anyways. They had made it through a lot and the worst so far had been over, hadn´t it. He blinked when someone talked to him. _Damn_.  
Danny laughed, eyes twinkling.   
“Still doing that huh?”  
Lee shrugged, blushing deeply. Danny knew him well and he couldn´t blame Richard for being jealous, and if he was honest with himself, it had made him a little proud, given Richards line of work and the merits of it. He grinned.   
“I was wanted to drop something off.”  
At that Lee frowned. He couldn´t remember forgetting anything the last time they had a swimming lesson - especially Richards none to subtle cursing. That made him smile and ache at the same time. 

“Oh?”  
He tried and from the lost look that was visible on his face it was obvious that Danny knew just how clueless he was.   
“Yeah but I would rather not give to you here, in front of the customers.”   
The twinkle in Dannys eyes transformed into gloating and Lee had known that look since High School. He gulped audibly and waved Danny into the back, so nobody could eavesdrop. Especially not Martin who muttered something under his breath while trying not to fall asleep selling the newest young adult novel to some overeager kids with overprotecting parents. Or to murder them, at that.   
“What could be so important to come here and drop something off?”  
Lee chuckled , roaming through cupboards and trying to remember where he had stacked his coffee.   
“Yeah. Of course, Lee.”  
Danny said and his voice dripped with sarcasm, so much that Lee turned and frowned down at Danny who was searching for something in his backpack and when he found it, he dropped it on the table in front of him. Lee blinked. It was a pair of swimming trunks. _Richards_ to be precise. They must have forgotten to pack them up the last time, but neither had noticed.   
“Uh.”  
Lee congratulated himself on his immense verbal skills yet again, sat down and forgot all about the things he had wanted to do in the first place, dumbly staring at the black material.   
“Thank you?”  
He tried for lack of anything else, eyes a tad misty. Damn, it was so hard being lovesick. Even when you weren´t a teenager. Danny shook his head, rolled his eyes.   
“Yeah, he forgot to pack them, you know. He probably was to busy staring holes in the back of my head or come up with creative ways to murder me and get rid of my body afterward.”  
Lee laughed a bit at that, shaking his head.  
“He didn´t look at you like that.”  
He spoke softly, trying to defend Richard even if he knew that Richard had indeed looked less than friendly at Danny.   
“You are not good at lying. Never were.”   
Danny cut in, wheeling around Lee and sighing as Lee bit his bottom lip, looked away.  
“Lee, whatever it is, get it out already. Where is he anyway?”  
Danny knew of course and Lee became a little mad at him for poking into wounds.   
“In China, you know that. The entire world knows.”  
Daniel raised his eyebrows.   
“Why are you here then?”  
Naturally Danny had to probe at that, too. Lee sighed again, sitting down and raking a hand through his hair.  
“What do you want to say?”  
Danny gives him a sad smile, a smile that reminds him of the last day of High School after Prom, after the accident he still blamed himself for and knew it wasn´t his fault.   
“I want to say that I worry for that heart of yours. Not that I mistrust him but I know you.”  
Lee grits his teeth at all that implies but Danny grasps his hand, holds it steady.   
“Oh no, you don´t get to do that. Not with me. I am trying to tell you what to do and I am the last person in the world wanting to lay blame on you, Lee – not for anything. Actually I did come to return that when I saw one of those tabloids again and it made me wonder why, if you love him so much , you aren´t on more pictures with him. Is it because you don´t want to or because..”  
Lee fumes, closes his eyes and counts to ten. Would those questions ever end?  
“It´s not like that. I trust him, the mere reason I don´t want to be in those magazines is because of James.”  
He explains patiently and understanding dawns on Dannys face. It is a rare occasion that Lee wants a camera for but bites back his smile.   
“We good then?”  
He asks after they both had coffee and Danny bids him goodbye with a smile that says that they are more than thousand words.   
Two weeks later he is in the middle of checking if he packed everything for the cruise in advance, because when Richard returns he wants to be ready. He is all but giddy, bouncing around the house and even irritating Carl a little, which is a new One. With a chuckle he packs the swimming trunks Danny had returned to him (and he had told Richard about gleefully) when the doorbell rings.   
He pauses, a horrible feeling rising in his chest, because Richard wouldn´t be back for six more days. So what if he was a little anxious? Or checked the news more than usually.   
“Coming!”  
He nearly yelled, making his way around packed suitcases and lists he had made so that they wouldn´t forget anything. He wasn´t really better at remembering things as Richard, which could lead to a problem and he didn´t want that.   
“Yes?”  
He asks, opening the front door, not looking up and re-reading the to do list in his hand as it snatched away from his hands. Gaze snapping up, he wants to yell at the person daring to do so when words suddenly fail him.  
“Hi.”  
Richard says, tired but smiling, dark sunglasses over his eyes, smile turning into a shit eating grin.  
“Auctioned of Graham, decided to bring you a towel as promised.”  
Lee drops everything and wraps his arms around Richard.


	58. Ahoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, our boys start their well earned cruise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is the start of the Cruise I guess there will be a few following chapters with our lovebirds traveling. I couldn´t resist the one or other cheap joke, but you´ll see that. Also, the idea of yet another AU has snuck up on me and refuses to leave, but all in time. I hope you enjoy this chapter <3 Until next time *bows out*

Lee felt as if he was dreaming. A very kitschy and sugarcoated dream, but he knew he wasn´t because Richards hand in his as they boarded the ship felt warm and very real. He was about to pinch himself but resisted, if barely. Richards fingers brushed his own ever so often, a smile firmly in place.   
That they both were happy was the understatement of the century it seemed. It also was an added bonus that although people recognized Richard most of them had the respect to not shove a camera in his face when he was clearly, very clearly on the mission to relax and trying to enjoy his privacy.   
“You really went all the way with that, didn´t you?”  
Lee whispered in awe, eyes shining dangerously. Richard however, had indeed planned everything to a T and he also had written down rules. Firstly Lee had laughed a bit but Richard very calmly had produced a letter, obviously written on hotel paper and cleared his throat before reciting what he had written down.   
Lee had to sit down, or else he would have fallen over in both surprise and laughter. Not that it had been his intention to mock Richard, no – anything but that. He found it so adorable that this man could do something like that with the same dedication he used when getting into a new character. It made Lee fall in love all over again and he had sat cross legged in his oldest sweatpants on their bed , adoringly gazing up at Richard who was pacing in front of him, followed hot on his heels by Carl. That made his mouth droop a bit, there wasn´t as a way they could have taken the dog with them and even if Richard didn´t mention it, he had tried, but Carl – he had found out that Carl was one of those dogs who got sea sick.  
It had only taking him two tries in the bathtub to find that out and so he had told Lee with a haggard expression and a totally ruined shirt. At that, Lee had actually laughed making Richard glare. He had to hand it to the man, if he tried he could be efficient. _If_ he tried, that was. The list, much to Lees amusement was not written by hand _”Because I can´t read my own bloody handwriting, I am an actor for gods sake”_ but neatly typed. Yeah, Richard could be very efficient. It was that list that made him crunch up his nose, giving an ugly snort, because, really, he was about to cry – out of joy, but Richard had been clear on the subject that he didn´t want to see Lee cry for the duration of the Cruise.   
Lee would try his best and hopefully not fail. Another rule was the no phone rule, because Richard had been fed up and hadn´t it been for either Lee or James calling he would have disposed of the retched thing entirely. James would join them for the holidays and Richard had promised the boy that he would get to ride horses like a real cowboy when he stayed with them and yes, he would miss not hearing him for two weeks, but he would call as soon as they came back. He promised and also made a mental note to get a fat present, although he didn´t tell that to Lee after having scolded his partner for spoiling the kid as it was.   
One rule included that he was able to smoke without Lee getting a stroke in their cabin and Lee had sighed and agreed. He had the dim feeling that it wasn´t the last they had spoken of that, but he ignored the voice in his head helpfully supplying that fact for now. 

“Baby?”  
Lee said, hand on his shoulder and grinned.   
“Yes? Did we forget something? Did you bring your phone after all?”  
Richards eyes narrowed , hardly giving the attentive young woman a greeting them and giving him the key for their cabin a second look. Lee grinned a little broader and shook his head, thankful that their luggage had been brought to their cabin and hence made him free to stroke both hands along Richards arms. He had wisely left his phone back at home, instructed Martin to care of anything and also told Luke and Simon what to do and who to call if anything would happen. He had been prepared.   
“No.”  
His grin threatened to split his face in two and Richard had the dull feeling that he was being laughed at for his efforts but refrained from saying so, wanting to give Lee a chance.   
“What then? Dear god, please don´t tell me that you want to swim with Sharks after all , because they offered that in the leaflet, I saw you look at at that, I know I have forgotten something, but please don´t let it be that. Even if I know enough about swimming now not to drown, I didn´t book that – Please don´t be mad.”  
It was the cutest thing to see Richard like that, flustered and rambling but Lee decided to take pity on him and just shook his head, stepping into Richards personal space as they were in front of their cabin. Richard had seen to it that it was one of the more spacious ones and in the part of the ship where none to many run of the mill tourists mingled. God, that sounded snobbish, but he wasn´t keen on being surrounded by people wearing tube socks in combination with sandals and colorful Hawaiian shirts that screamed how much fashion sense had died in the last decade. Thank you, but no thank you – he had been there and done that. No need for a repeat performance.   
Lee just shook his head again.  
“I wouldn´t want that. Not after all the movies I saw , you know.”  
Richard didn´t at the moment until Lee hummed the theme song of _JAWS_ and beside that he was sick with worry of having messed something up, he managed a smile. Lee chuckled, flopping down on the bed in their Cabin, pulling Richard closer, grounding him a bit even if the Ship underneath them moved softly with the current. A thought Richard quickly cast aside, too.  
“What is you want then?”  
The older man asked, positively humming with restrained energy.   
“I just want you to relax, can you do that for me, yes? Can you do that baby, hrm?”  
That was the least thing Richard had expected and he blinked for a moment, grateful nobody but Lee was able to see him looking for all the world like a zombie without the accompanying sounds to go with. Then again, he had had the pleasure to see Lee waking up and finding that they had run out of coffee. Lee had not been pleased , to put it mildly. A smirk appeared on his lips as he leaned closer.   
“Yeah, I think I can do that.”  
He nodded and Lee chuckled.   
“Good good, now, help me unpacking, because packing? I think packing isn´t our thing.”  
At seeing how everything they had packed was all over the place in the suitcases they had brought with them he had to agree and gave in the temptation to pout. Lees voice drifted towards him from somewhere on the left.   
“Oh, a waterbed, kinky.”  
Richard couldn´t help but nearly dropping the pair of socks he had been holding.


	59. On board 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard goes out of his way to do something for Lee. Lee is a tease. Richard tries to ignore it for now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so , our journey starts and hopefully our boys will enjoy it :3

There were many things Lee had expected once they had settled in, and also a few he had hoped for. Richard just gave him that look. There were certain looks Richards expressive face slipped into, unaware and unconscious to him but telling Lee enough what he was thinking. He grinned a bit, lowered his lashes.   
“Now, really, I didn´t mean anything by mentioning the bed, really. I simply never slept in a waterbed, that´s all.”  
Richard just raised both eyebrows, loosening his tie and taking a step towards Lee who wriggled a bit on the bed, bounced up and down.   
“Is that so?”  
The Brit asked and Lee nodded his head enthusiasticly, trying to look coy and gazing at Richard through his lowered lashes. A blatant lie of course, but he didn´t correct himself. Instead he felt his own mouth move.  
“Never done it in one either.”  
Another lie and he is well aware that Richard caught it, but to his credit the older man doesn´t say so, just shakes his head.   
“Shame, really. Also..as inviting as that sounds, I heard there is shuffle board tournament and I wouldn´t want to miss that for the world.”  
Lee doesn´t know why, but his jaw unhinges and falls to the floor, and Richard, stone faced a second ago, throws his head back and laughs so long that he his eyes tear up and well over.   
“I am sorry, darling but you should have seen your face. Priceless.”  
Lee doesn´t see the humor in it and does the manly thing. He pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.  
“Just fooling around a bit.”  
In a childish reaction to that sentence Lee wanted to point out that they weren´t and there lied the problem. He resisted, just barely. Richard kneeled in front of him, taking his hands.   
“It is a lovely bed, but I made plans I really don´t want to miss out on with you, please can you stop to tempt me, just for the moment? If you don´t, we might never leave here.”  
Lee wanted to argue that there was nothing wrong with it, but by the pleading look Richard now gave him, he just sighed. There was only so much he could take without giving in. He had long since learned that with Richard it didn´t take very long.   
“Plans? I thought my plan was mighty fine.”  
Well, one could try, couldn´t he?  
“Oh they are and we will come to that later. Be that as it may, there has something on my mind.”  
Now Lee was curious and mighty so. There weren´t many opportunities Richard said no when he offered himself so willingly but on the other side Richard _had_ planned the whole thing and Lee had begged, literally begged him to be let in on the plans but Richard did displayed a steely resolve in the matter.   
“Are you listening to me, at all?”  
Lee blushed, eyes squeezing shut. Some things really never changed but he wasn´t about to be angry about that now, not a chance in hell.   
“Er.. you were talking about the weather?”  
Richard sighed but did so with a fond smile before he explained that he had already planned a dinner for them, a table on the deck when the sun set which would be in about ten minutes . At that Lee frowned a bit, as far as he knew they hadn´t really left New York yet, but once again Richard bested him speaking up before he could voice his concerns.  
“My point exactly.”  
Okay, now Lee was lost. Richard had invited him many times before, they even cooked together at times and Lee had bravely lost his fear of onions in that regard.   
“So you will swipe me off my feet with a dinner and hope you still will get to test this wonderful bed with me even after refusing the first time?”  
Lee looked possibly wounded but Richard grinned despite it all, eyes twinkling.   
“Oh I will make that up to you, come on.”  
If Richard whined a bit, they both ignored it. The plan that had formed at the back of his mind had been simple. While Lee never said it, he didn´t really seem to feel at ease in a fancy restaurant. Not because of the food but because he felt a little guilty when Richard paid for that. He knew he shouldn´t but still did and that Richard also had a lot more than that still weighted heavy on him. So, Richards plan had been to change that. With a heavy sigh , Lee stood, still managing a slight pout that tested Richards resolve on many levels.   
“You know, If I had known you would be so hungry, I would have packed that edible underwear. “  
Richards gaze was hot, neck cracking as his head turned.   
“Later.”  
He rasped, sounding like a drowning man and pulling Lee on deck. Oh, well. It had been worth a try and Lee also had to grin at what would happen if he kept his subtle flirting up. Or non-subtle, for that matter.   
They made it up on deck precisely five minutes before the sun set and were placed at an empty table as they passed the Statue of Liberty. Lee felt his eyes water at the beauty of the sight and the peaceful feeling that bloomed in his chest but remembered his promise towards Richard not to cry, so he swallowed heavily. A waitress appeared at their table and once again Lee had to frown a bit because she hadn´t brought a menu with her. Perhaps Richard had already ordered that, he thought and sat in anticipation, licking his lips as plates were placed in front of them.   
Inwardly he sighed a bit. Fancy dinners weren´t his thing but he just never really had the heart to say it to Richard, not wanting to cause unnecessary hurt or disappointment although he full well knew that Richard wouldn´t mind.   
“I thought we should have something special tonight, as a start.”  
Lee bit his tongue to refrain from saying that he would have rather have Richard himself on a silver platter than all the food in the world. So he stared at his plate as it was uncovered and blinked. He blinked again but his eyes didn´t play a trick on him, the hot dog still there. His eyes flew to Richard as the waitress rather wordlessly poured them a glass of coke into very fancy wine glasses and he just knew how much Richard had to suffer by that.   
“Everything to your liking?”  
Richard asked, only a little bit anxious and Lee grins, bright and honest.   
“I love it. Thank you so much.”


	60. On board 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard is still full of surprises, but Lee wants a little payback - and he has ideas that just won´t leave him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold the 80k mark O.o jesus, I never thought it might come to this but - here we are. Thank you so much to everyone still reading, commenting and leaving kudos :) It means a lot to me :)

It is the single most romantic thing anyone has ever done for him and Lee tells Richard that, showering him with kisses as they are on their way back to their cabin and he can feel the tension draining off of the older man. He is glad for that, really and he also tells Richard that there isn´t a thing he needs to worry about.   
“Good.”  
Richard says a little distracted, wondering if the other part of his plan will go over as smoothly. They hadn´t gotten around to dessert but Lee hadn´t questioned that which was good for Richard, because he had refused Lees earlier advances with said plan in the back of his mind. So when he motioned for Lee to open the door he practically tore at the seams from all the tension he had felt. There had been so much planning and secret keeping that he had started to pray everyone involved would keep their mouths shut.   
He had asked Martin what Lee liked but would never say to him, had grilled Luke for information about Lees favorite flowers and actually asked Lees father if he knew Lees favorite brand of chocolate from his childhood. It had caused the one or other gray hair on his head but he knew it had been worth it by the way Lee blinked, once again slack jawed at the mere effort someone would do something like that for him.  
Something like that was a Poppy ( which Lee secretly loved more than roses, much more but never said so because he had found it silly to point a guy in the direction of what flower or present he would like to be gifted with) for every week they were together, neatly arranged in Vases around the room and accompanied by candles that smelled faintly of honey. It had been a remark Lee had made once that Richard picked up on, wanting to spoil the man, no matter how modest he was. Damn, he could affort it and not a single dollar was more worth to see someone you loved look at you like that. Lees mouth trembled, his eyes were huge and a tad misty which in turn made Richards eyes water a little before they both managed to compose themselves, remembering that pesky little no crying rule Richard had come up with (and silently cursed himself for it now) . When Lee didn´t move on his own accord Richard steered him further into the room, pushing him gently down on the waterbed, mindful not be to forceful in his actions, because if he had done so he would have jostled the carefully arranged plate with _Mars bars_ placed in the middle.   
He had practically interrogated Lees father for that tidbit of information and boy hadn´t that been fun. He remembered it quite clearly. Not that he hated the man in general, no it was quite the opposite. Lees father had always been rather pleasant to him but the thing Richard hated , really hated was the way he tended to treat Lee like a little boy. And Lee was anything but that, even if he could behave a lot younger than he was. It was one of the things Richard loved about him and he had pointed that out rather bluntly towards the older man.   
Not as bluntly as Graham had pointed out towards him that he hadn´t stood a chance since the first time all this months ago when he had stumbled into the bookstore and laid eyes onto the American. At first he had wanted to deny it, but there hadn´t been much use in doing so with someone who knew you in and out.   
He hadn´t planned to fall in love, hadn´t planned on buy a house in the states and adopting a child whose mother he had left behind, in more ways than one. Lee had changed a lot in him and it was for the better. He smiled at Lee, tilting his head once again and sat down opposite him, lacing their fingers together.   
“This feels nice.”  
Lee breathes and looks suddenly so much younger, all the stress they had been through in the last weeks and months suddenly draining away.  
“It does, doesn´t it?”  
Richard grins, pleased with himself for once and he would clap himself on the shoulder if it wouldn´t look idiotic.  
“Yeah. Care to share why you go through all this trouble for me? Not that I don´t like it.”  
The last sentence is added hastily but Richard just smiles.   
“Because I love you. Otherwise I would have just said – fuck it.”  
Lee can´t help it, he laughs, bright and without worries, leans over the plate in between them and pauses, grins cheekily as he grabs one of the sweets and breaks it in half after letting go of Richards fingers for the time being. He knows that Richard isn´t that fond of sweets and he finds it is his Mission to change it. In a few Days they will be in New Zealand and there will be enough time for them to frolic , as Richard has put it. Lee nearly choked on his Mars at the sheer remembrance.   
He could vividly imagine that now. Plus, he wanted to sneak out of the cabin to go down to the shopping level of the ship and hunt for edible underwear. He had meant it as a joke, but still the idea had branded itself firmly into the back of his mind. For now though he leaned forward, pressed his lips against Richards and shared the chocolate caramel treat, dipped his tongue into the other mans mouth. After the first tentative press he felt from Richard, he leaned in closer and he was glad to see Richards eyes flutter closed. Still, he wanted a little revenge for the way Richard had teased him only a few hours prior, and he really needed to go and hunt for that edible underwear. The thought alone made his face flush bright pink, still he tried to concentrate, leaned back after a few more kisses., even if it was really hard for him (without pun).   
“That..”  
Lee grinned wolfishly as he scrambled back on the bed, stood and slipped on his shoes.   
“What..?”  
Richard hadn´t gotten his speech back and Lee hated to leave him hanging but now it was him who was on a mission and Richard wouldn´t buy something like that on a ship were the cashier might not only recognize him but he also was in danger to see said person again. Lee was less shy (and really horny, but he didn´t need to say that to Richard right now).  
“Back in a few, baby. I just really, really need to go somewhere first.”  
In astonishment Richard saw the door close behind Lee and opening a few seconds after.   
“Oh, before I forget, do you want to know the Shuffleboard results?”  
Richard reminded himself that he loved Lee as the younger man ducked out of the door again and refrained from throwing one of his shoes, wondering what the hell Lee had in mind right now. Well, he would find out.


	61. On board (and in a waterbed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the testing of the waterbed has arrived - and behold -Lee never knew Richard would hate his ratty sweats like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are :D I do hope it was worth the wait and all of you have a lovely start into the weekend :D

Lee was pretty red faced as he stared at the elderly woman behind the counter of the lingerie shop that was located in the belly of the ship. Well, it was more of a clothing shop with a lingerie department but that wasn´t the point. The point was, he was about to yell at the woman because she asked him three times what he wanted. She handed it to him finally and he was glad she had managed to give him the model for men. He grinned a bit as he read that those were Pina Colada flavored and asked rather politely and impatient if he could put them on in the changing room after he paid for them. She gave him that look again and he was about to strangle her but she finally nodded . He paid first, slipped the garment on in the changing room under his jeans and walked briskly to the elevator that would finally reunite him with Richard.   
He prayed, actually prayed that Richard would be still in the mood and not asleep. His steps were with a slight determination he would refuse to have and that made him pause in front of the Cabin. He didn´t want to look _too_ eager. Hard as it was. With a slightly shaking hand he opened the door and closed it swiftly behind himself, turning a heated gaze to Richard who hadn´t moved an inch.  
“And how is the result?”  
Richard casually manages and Lee is taken aback for a moment as to what Richard is referring when it dawns on him. He doesn´t know why but he is sure he will never look at Shuffleboard the same way ever again. He starts to downright hate it, but doesn´t say anything.   
“Don´t care.”  
Richard, who had flopped down, leans up on his elbows, raises his brows and grins brightly.   
“Uh huh. “  
He says and laughs a little bit at Lees dark look but has mercy on him and beckons him closer with a finger.  
“Mr.Pace, you are very very distracting when you look at me like I would be a very decent meal. Makes a bloke blush, you know.”  
Lee licks his lips but chuckles a bit at the thought of Richard on a oversized silver platter lovingly decorated with salad. He shakes his head, clearing it of all thoughts that aren´t centered around Richard and really how could he think of anything but Richard, if he is splayed out their, tempting and wanting if the still beckoning finger is a indication.  
“Good.”  
Lee rasps out, wanting to shed his jeans but Richards hands still him in his movements, making him look down.   
“If I may.”  
 _Hallelujah_ The little voice his head screams while doing a little dance. Yes, Richard may, he can do anything he wants. Even press his nose into his groin. Wait. A moan tears itself from both of them and Richard rears back a bit, eyes near black.  
“Wasn´t a joke with that edible underwear, was it?”  
Richard asks , already knowing the answer and Lee wracks his fuzzy brain for an adequate answer but fails to come up with one as Richard licks a broad stripe over the front of said undergarments.   
“Tasty.”  
The older man says after what seems like an eternity and Lee drops his head on his chest, trying not to buckle down and have his wicked way with Richard but can´t stop himself from stroking a trembling hand through Richards hair.   
“I hope so. “  
Lee whispers and moans again as Richard starts to bite at the only thing separating him from Lees skin, and he does want to taste it, although he is mindful of respecting Lees wish to try something like that. Also he benefits from it himself, so he takes his time, moves Lee until the slightly taller man is in the position he himself had been a few moments ago. It was worth the wait, he decides, eyes hungry and hands ghosting over Lees skin wherever he can reach.   
Yeah, he wants to draw that out, enjoys the sensation of the bed moving under them. It feels a little like as if they would be in a different world all of a sudden. Just the two of them and their bodies. They know each other inside out but still this feels so much more intimate in this room and situation. Richard lets his hands slip under the strings of the garment Lee is wearing ,tugs and laughs as Lee hisses.   
“I am not much for sweets, I am afraid but what is wrapped in this sweet thing is much more to my liking.”  
He doesn´t say more, descents and draws noises from Lee who is lost in the sensations around them both as much as Richard.  
“Good to know.”  
Lee gets out between gasps and locks pleading eyes on Richard. They can communicate without words by now and both of them are mighty grateful for that, because for his part Lee is reduced to noises and can´t muster words, but despite his raging need Richard is gentle, guiding Lees legs up high around his waist, forehead pressed against that of his partner. He knows by Lees frustrated sigh that sweet and gentle is not what Lee needs and stops all together. He suddenly remembers that Lee had the nerve to make him _wait_ and topped it with a cheeky comment. Tit for that, he thinks to himself, gliding off the bed again, out of Lees line of sight causing the younger man to frown.   
“Richard?”   
He tries but there isn´t an answer, just rustling of fabric. Lifting his heavy head Lee still doesn´t see Richard.  
“Baby?”  
He tries again, heat rising in his cheeks as Richard reappears with what has been his favorite pair of sweats. Well, ratty and with holes all over them, but Richard had never liked them and now he had put them down, so to speak – simply ripping them and with speed that surprises Lee Richard is up on the bed, tying his arms to the headboard with what once were pant legs.   
“I hope you don´t mind.”  
He mocks sweetly, seeking confirmation in Lees gaze. Lee shakes his head. Hell, he doesn´t mind that Richard can be rough now and then. He welcomes the slick fingers, the mouth mapping his skin and the sudden bite on his collarbone brings tears to his eyes, Richard mindfully kisses them away.   
“Shh, tell me when something is wrong, alright?”

Lee manages to nod feverishly, eyes rolling back into his head as they finally connect.   
“Tell me.”  
Richard urges Lee on, skin slapping against skin and Lees hands fisting in the only things preventing him from bucking of the bed as Richard changes angles.  
“Can´t speak.”  
He stutters out, Richard stops. A whine rises in the back of his throat, heat nearly suffocating him.   
“Tell me.”  
Richard presses again, moving slow and stopping again in a warning manner. Lee licks his dry lips, presses them together with effort and moans before he tries again. Words are very hard to form in situations like that, he thinks randomly.  
“I want you..to shake..the..bed. Like in ..storm.”  
He blushed deeply at how silly that sounds but Richards eyes darken considerably more and he throws Lees legs over his shoulder and proceeds to fulfill the younger mans wishes until the waterbed underneath them feels like a boat on the raging sea under Lees back and the only warning Richard gets is Lees body clamping down followed by a strangled shout which is followed by the tearing noise of fabric.   
Only when Richard reclines beside him Lee allows his laughter to surface, shaking silently.   
“Huh?”  
Richard asks sleepily , adding as an afterthought that they should blow out the candles around them before they went to sleep.   
“The pants had it coming, didn´t they?”  
Lee asks between quiet hiccups of bubbling laughter and Richard swats at him before he makes it up with a kiss.   
“Yeah, they did.”


	62. On  board 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the cruise goes on <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again. I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day :3

Lee manages a wounded look as Richard displays steely resolve as he suggests that they could buy a new pair of sweats.  
"You destroyed them, it would be only fair, wouldn't it?"  
He tries with a pout but Richard lowers his fork at breakfast, looks at Lee over his plate and says , in a voice that reminds him of his own father.  
"No. "  
He says again, willing his eyes away from the pout Lee has perfected over many years. He is sure it has helped the other man in many situations in life, but Richard is not fooled. Lee decides to play dirty, fingering the fork away from his grasp and interlacing their fingers. The fried tomato Richard had wanted to eat is sadly cast aside.  
"You ripped them."  
Richards face flushes and he hastily glances around the rather crowded breakfast area.  
"Seriously? That comes from the man who left me hanging and dashed off to buy edible underwear?"  
Lee bites his lip, losing the battle against the darker blush in his cheeks. Richard had found the receipt to proof him guilty of a his crime of passion this morning before breakfast. He had stared at it for about five minutes, razor forgotten in his hand, shaving cream running over his chin before he could compose himself.  
"Well, you didn't complain about it last night."  
He hadn't, that was true. It had been most pleasureable, really. The smile on his face speaks volumes of that and it fills Lee with a combination between smugness and pride.  
"We will make a stop at Disneyworld, won't we?"  
He asks all of a sudden and Richard feels a twinge because he thinks of James and how much he would enjoy that, but still he tries to reason with himself that they will be reunited soon enough. He is glad Lee and James get along greatly only sometimes wondering who the bigger kid is. He hasn't really made up his mind.  
Lee senses his change of mood instantly.  
"Hey, don't worry. He will have forgotten all about missing out on the trip when Santa brings him a lot of presents from there. You know, everything we can carry."  
Richard smiles, stroking his thumb over Lees fingers.  
"You do realize that will cause his grandmother a stroke, don't you?"  
Lee chuckles at the mere imagination of the face the woman will make once James has to return to her, grinning darkly.  
"Don't say it."  
Richard pleads silently and Lee does him the favour. He knows as they both loathe the woman she still is James grandmother and therefore is loved by the boy.  
"I won't."  
He promises and excuses himself for a moment to get himself more food. Richard briefly wonders how Lee can eat all that and stay that fit. His eyes are fixed on his plate as Lee returns and a two men follow him. Lees expression is between amused and helpless as the guy to his left in a blaringly loud shirt that proclaims that he is with stupid, large strawhat firmly placed upon his head waves and nudges his otherwise silent partner, who firstly looks at Richard and then towards Lee, blushing.  
"Oh my god it is you!""  
He exclaims and nearly shoves Lee out of his path to get a closer look at Richard who merely blinks.   
"Er.."  
Richard is lost there for a moment and hoping against hope that he doesn't need to sign body parts. After doing that ever so often in his career he is sure he never wants to do so again.  
"Don't worry, your secrets save with me. I am Walther, by the way but you can call me Wally. I am from Cidar Rabbits but I sell lawnmowers and not rabbits or cider."  
He laughs, Richard stares. Maybe he is still dreaming, he thinks but the hand grasping his own and shaking it is firm and very real.  
"Walther!"  
The other man next Lee says and crosses his arms before he tugs the older man away, scowling. Yeah, Lee knows that look well and smiles onto his plate.  
"What? Roger , come on. Its not like we get to see movie stars everyday when you are on holiday! And so close."  
Rogers scowl darkens and he pulls harder on the other man and thus makes him stumble backwards hindering to pull up a chair next to Richard.  
"Excuse my idiotic husband, he has been out in the sun to much. I am sorry."  
Lee nearly chokes on his orange juice, can't believe that those two are married. Or for that matter that someone is married to Walther. Walther is ushered off by Roger who strays behind a bit, hesitating.  
"I am sorry, he normally isn't like that. Wasn't like that."  
The poor man looks as if he is about to cry and Richard motions for him to sit down at their table while Walther, after huffing and muttering under his breath had stormed off into the direction of the cabins. Roger sighed. Lee felt the need to pat the poor guy on the back seeing the bags under his eyes.   
"Oh don't worry. I had worse."  
Richard says, mouth quirking up into a smile Lee doesn't like but decides not to dwell on. He smears some more toast, asks out of politeness if Roger would want something.  
"Thank you."   
The man says quietly and clasps his hand around the steaming mug Lee put in front of him. Thankfully nobody else is paying much attention to them and Richard finally takes a bite from his breakfast, waiting. He knows there is more to that.  
"He dod that to embarass me, I am sure. You know this trip is sort of the last straw in our marriage. If you still can call it that."  
Lee hasitates and gives in, patting the poor guy on the back who looks at him and starts to wail. Heads turn into their direction and Richard swiftly pulls poor Roger up and away, indicates with his head that Lee should follow. Lee is still a bit thrown at the reaction once he reaches the deck which is still blissfully empty this time of the day.   
"I ibelieve he dragged you into this."  
Roger sniffeld while Richard and Lee exchanged bewildered looks.  
"Ah well, he reads all that yellow press and he always drones on about how much of an actor he could have been if.. if he wouldn't have settled down with me. "  
Something in that sentence that makes Lees fingers clench and Richard notices, grasps his hand in a reassuring manner and he is thankful for that.  
"Want my advice?"  
Richard says quietly and Roger looks up after a moment, eyes brimming with tears, hands shaking.  
"I don't know. Will it help?"  
Richard looks out over the water, watches how the waves ripple and wants nothing more tgan to spent time with Lee alone.  
"Not really. I am just human after all but I suggest you talk to him. If he tries to blame his failures on you, well -then he doesn't respect you enough."  
Roger chuckles without humor at that, rises and wipes his hand over his eyes.  
"After nearly twenty years that is rather fruktless, isn't it?"  
He sighs but nods and takes his leave , saying how sorry he is. Richard focusses his attention soley on Lee.  
"You're awfully quiet."  
Lee just hums, shifting closer to Richard and stretching out on one of the deckchairs, tugging the other man next to him.  
"Just thinking, is all."  
Lee says after a while, quietly staring ahead and snuggling closer as Richard settles next to him. The chair normally wouldn't be wide enough for two grown men but neither of them minds much.  
"We are not like that."  
Richard says into the quiet that surrounds them. Lee cracks a smile at that.  
"I know. I couldn't imagine you ever wear a shirt like that or selling lawnmowers"  
Richards face is priceless and has Lee chortling in no time at all.  
"Oh do shut up."  
Richard says with no heat behind the words, draping a blanket around the both of them, stretching out his limbs himself, ignoring the protesting creak of the chair.  
"Only if you buy me new sweats."  
Richard groaned.  
"Please?Pretty please."  
How could he say no to that? And Lee knew it.


	63. On board 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard never knew how much Lee could loathe someone. Worst thing is, he can relate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our cruise goes on :)

Richard grimaces, Lee beams. He is holding up leo printed leggings and bats his eyelashes at the older man over the clothing rack.   
"You aren't seriously considering wearing that _thing_. Or buying it in the first place."  
Lee makes an overly dramatic duckface in his direction, batting his lashes.  
"Course not. They are for you."  
He says all serious and Richard turns as white as the wall next to him, trying his best not to do numerous things he might regret later on. Of course that is the moment a rather loud voice makes itself known in the shop.  
"Well, helloo-ooh! If that isn't my friends."  
Richard closes his eyes against the throbbing pain manifesting behind his forehead, wanting to be let out in a scream. A few heads turn and Walther uses the moment to stride over to where they stand, without doubt drawing the attention to them on purpose. Lee hastily places the horrid looking yoga pants away but Walther spies them.  
"They woul look lovely on you, my boy!"  
Lees face transforms into something Richard has rarely seen. Thinly veiled disgust.  
"I don't think so."  
Lee snaps icily and busies himself with browsing the racks for sweats until he comes up with a black pair. Walther doesn't get the hint. Not in the slightest. Instead of leaving Walter sees that as an invitation to follow them around the store, actually trying to wrap his arm around Richard as another customer fiddles with a camera. That is when Lee snaps, slammimg the sweats he intended to buy on the counter, moving until he stands between Richard and Walther.  
"Something wrong, my boy?"  
If Lee could breathe fire, the ever present straw hat would be at least singed now. Richard grasps his bicep and it calms Lee enough to move away and pay for his purchase in piece. Walther has the nerve to look insulted. Richard grits his teeth. He knows that type of men. If Lee or himself would like to their peace he had to entertain the bastard.  
"Sorry. We didn't get much sleep last night."  
Richard is good at playing friendly if he needs to. Walther laugs obscenely loud and Lee is burning holes in Walther from the front of the store. What a morning,   
"Ah good for you! Must be a little fire cracker this one. "  
Richard wishes for the shovel his mother so lovingly threated people without manners with but grits his teeth through it all.  
"If you excuse me, Lee and me have plans today."  
They really hadn't planned much besides relaxing, a plan Walther seriously endangered.  
"Great. Roger isn't feeling well - you know, gets a little seasick and that. Why don't I tag along?"  
At that Richard bristles again but yet again says nothing. _What a total dick_ he thinks instead and shakes his head, excusing himself from Walthers side. Lee still glares as he approaches.  
"Lee.."  
He tries but Lee just gives him a long suffering sigh of understanding.  
"I know, I know. Drowning him would be bad for your image."  
Richard blinks and the corners of his mouth start to twitch dangerously, so he slaps Lee on the shoulder, making the other man chuckle.  
"You are bad. "   
Richard says with mock shock until Lee wriggles his eyebrows, grinning.  
"Wait until you see me in those sweats."  
That makes Richard laugh even harder while they first stroll towards their Cabin and Lee changes into swimming trunks. So, the moment has finally come the older man muses and sighs in defeat as Lee holds out his pair of swimming trunks.  
"Come on, it will be fun."  
Lee says with a charming smile and Richard doesn't doubt for a moment that Lee knows exactly what that smile does to him. With a muttered curse he changed, trying to to the manful thing and not hide behind his towel everytime heads turned. Lee seemed rather unconcerned about it all. Once they reached the pool Richard hasitated. There were people everywhere and children ran past and between them. He swallowed but Lee gave him a blinding smile, stuck out his hand.  
"Come on."  
Lee said again, softer this time and Richard followed, eyes open wide and weary but he knew he could trust Lee enough to not let him go.  
"Hey there."  
Lee said, hands securely tucked around Richards waist as he swam backwards, looking back over his shoulder as not to collide with anybody else. The older man followed his lead, carefully threading water.  
"Hey."  
He says, flushing and brushing his nose against Lees. The world fades away around them and the water around them is warm enough but also pleasently cool. Lee gives him a peck, ducks under water and swims through the gab between his legs making him squeak. He would deny it of course, even more so when Lee surfaced behind him, wrapping his arms around Richards waist.  
"You'll gonna pay for that, you wanker."  
Richard whispers into Lees wet hair and he can feel Lees chuckle vibrate through him. Before Lee can answer a ball hits him in the head hard and all goes black for a moment, making him lose his hold around the other man. Richard acts on instinct, pulls Lee to the surface and waves off the lifeguard wanting to jump in . Regardless of that he waves the man over a minute later to look at Lees head.  
"Just a bruise. Will hurt like a bitch though for the next hours."  
Richard closes his eyes, sighs and helps Lee to sit on the lounge chair.  
"Ow. Man Richard, you didn't have to knock me out for that little manouver."  
Richard huffs. This was why he hated public pools but he had wanted to make Lee happy. Lee, who now sported a large bump on the back of his head and looked a little green around the nose.  
"Wasn't me. Possibly some brat, not knowing how to pass time."  
He sits down next to Lee, presses the icepack he had been handed to the bump and making Lee wince.  
"Sorry."  
He mutters and Lee just gives him a smile, eyes narrowing all of a sudden and Richard turns his head. Walther, of course. No, he corrects himself and his hand twitches dangerously at his side.   
"Hey Richie my boy! Lee darling , I am so sorry but Roger can't catch for shit. Well it won't kill you."  
No, it wouldn't kill Lee. On the contrary it looked more as if Lee was about to kill Walther instead. Roger wasn't far behind, face ashen and lip drawn into a snarl.   
"You!"  
Lee gritted out and was about to stand but Richard shook his head, excused them and all but dragged Lee from deck to their cabin, making him lay down, softly cupping his cheek.  
"Feel better?"  
Richard asked softly and Lee sighed, closing his eyes.  
"I would feel better if I could throw Walther over board. Tie him down with a lawnmower and so, you know."  
He says and the older man chuckles. He can relate. They decide to rest until lunch and Lee assures Richard that everything is fine before they get dressed and make their way towards the dinin area. Sure enough Walther and Roger are already there but do not even look over. It is a bit odd - well for Walther that is, Lee thinks, rubbing ovee the bump on his head. They are halfway through the main course when suddenly things get a lot more loud. Roger stands up from the table, chair scraping on the floor beneath, fists clenced at his sides. Lee watches in rapt attention, Richard tries to ignore the commotion but curiousity gets the better of him when the yelling starts. Everyone in the whole room is looking in that direction.  
" _I am_ loud? _I _embarrass you, Walther?"  
Rogers voice is high and shrill, whole body trembling with what Lee and Richard both know is surpressed rage. Transfixed the whole room watches as Roger takes the bowl of mashed potatoes from their table and empties it over Walthers head. Lee nearly chokes on his beans, Richard takes a sip of wine.  
Walther shouts but Roger is well past the point of caring what others think it seems. Lee can't blame him and watches after having avoided choking on his food how Richard turns calmly around, taking it all in. Roger isn't finished. He empties the bowl of sauce over Walther as well. Richard tries to hide his chuckle in his wine, turning his attention back to Lee.  
"Dessert?"  
He asks calmly and Lee snorts before ordering chocolate pudding for themselves. He feels like celebrating.__


	64. On Board (Disneyland )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are in Disneyland and Richard has a few thoughts. Lee has sugar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that before - small story and all. By now, I have reached close to 180 pages and don´t know how that happend. Not that I mind. But seriously, thank you for all the support. As a matter of fact I am also working on antoher idea with those lovely guys but intend to finish it first before I post it (one of those crazy things that pops into your head, you know -and won´t leave you ever. Yes, I blame you television!)

Disneyland is spectacular, Richard has to admit it – even if he does so in secret and with a little smile that shows how happy he truly is about Lee bouncing around him. There is no other way of describing what the man does, really, and he briefly wonders if Lee had ever been this happy in his childhood. Lee answers him with a solemn smile, eyes downcast.  
“When I was little we couldn´t go, you know. Sorry if I am a bit childish.”  
He whispers and Richard just looks at him and pulls him in for a loving kiss.  
It is sweet and short, but Richard draws back a bit as he feels Lee putting something on his head.   
“What is that?”  
He wants to know, a little suspicious as to what Lee might be up. Lee produces a camera and grins. “Nothing.” He says and hauls Richard in for selfie. Richard, who is wearing Mickey ears without knowing it. Lee stares at the picture a moment and chortles, but hastily puts the camera away before Richard can see what on that picture is so funny. He gingerly pats his head and groans.   
“You didn´t.”  
Lee just grins.   
“I did.”   
Richard narrows his eyes a bit and plucks the ears from his head making Lee pout a bit in protest.   
“You are making me pay for that pair of sweats, aren´t you.”  
He grumbles, but all of a sudden Lee freezes and shakes his head. Richard knows his mistake, curses himself for saying it the way he said it, how it sounded.   
“Lee, I am happy, I really am. I am just not used to.. used to being so happy all the time.”  
Lee is a bit at a loss, because as far as he is concerned the last few weeks and months have been painful and all but happy on some days. The fact that press people took snapshots of them everywhere was only one of the things he had found pretty annoying at first and now he really couldn´t say that he didn´t mind, he just ignored it most of the time.   
“You make that sound as if this is a bad thing Richard.”  
Richard shakes his head, fiddling with the ears and tucking them into his jacket.   
“It isn´t. And I didn´t want to say it like that. Its just, I feel ..I sometimes think that nothing I do is worthy of that smile.”  
Richard has had plently of dark thoughts, about the things that could happen, about the things that happened to them. His leg reminds him every day of it ,as do the faded burn marks on Lees body. Lee tucks a strand of hair behind Richards hair, an imitation of a gesture normally done to him by the other man.   
“You do. Tell me what´s wrong?”  
Lee gently urges, not yet pressing, not yet asking. He will do so later, Richard just knows. The thought he has is silly, really but by the way Lee looks at him he has to get it out.   
“I just don´t want you to wake up one day and feel like I pressured you into something and for you to go berserk on me with the sauce and mashed potatoes.”  
Lee blinks at him for a moment, shaking his head and shuddering a bit as he remembers Walther. There is a certain panic in his chest that the two of them have booked a trip to Disneyland as well but he quickly dismisses it, because mostly families with kids have booked that special. All the more something that tells him that Richard just loves him that much and he would never stoop so low as to attack Richard with sauce. They did have their fights, but really, there was nothing that came to mind that would make them act like that. He tells Richard as much.  
“What brought that on, anyways?”  
He asks in a curious tone. The weather is lovely, all around them people are laughing, children are running around. Ah.   
“You don´t need to worry about the holidays. He will love it with us. Leaves only the question who will dress up as Santa.”   
Thats not really why Richard is worried, Lee knows as much. He curses himself a bit for telling Richard about his none to happy childhood, about everything that happened but he had been past the point of lying or secrets – not that he ever had lied to Richard, it just hadn´t come up until the whole adoption mess. And it was a mess. They would get shared custody first, hopefully sole – but James could decide that for himself when he was old enough. Lee sighed as he thought about all that still needed to happen before _that_ happened. Their wedding, At least they had a guest list now, a real nicely printed one and not one that was written on a napkin. He still flushed at that. Also the tuxes they had commissioned had been delivered a week before the cruise had stared and he nearly had suffered a stroke as Carl had happily tried to chew on them. Richard hadn´t been happy either.   
“Martin.”  
Richard says out of the blue and Lee has to blink and rewind his thoughts to their current conversation. His face seems to be priceless because Richard is laughing until tears of mirth spill from his eyes.   
“Just kidding. How about Graham?”  
He suggests and Lee chuckles before nodding.   
“Sure, but you will be the one telling him that.”  
He says and drags Richard along to every ride he can find and Richard makes a mental note to get everything that has a remote amount of sugar in it out of Lees grasp. But that is also why he had so easily fallen in love with the other man in the first place. His restless energy, how the tips of his ears turned bright pink when he was embarrassed, the freckles on his shoulder. There was an endless list of things he loved about Lee.   
The reason he was thinking about all of that in Disneyland was that he was pondering what to write in his wedding vows. So what if he was a bit traditional? Despite of them doing everything else different and backwards. He blinks as something bright pink is shoved into his line of sight and Richard steps back a bit. It is Micky Mouse shaped cotton candy and Lee grins at him from underneath his lashes giving him a few not so pure thoughts.   
He grabbed the cotton candy before it was too late to leave that road behind and let himself be steered towards the infamous teacup carousel


	65. On board 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why can´t happiness last? Why do some people behave like that? Lee asks himself that, a lot. On their way to New Zealand our boys first have to conquer another obstacle. It´s called Walther.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again :D Yet another day on our lovely cruise :D Hope you enjoy <3

They are back on board with far more presents for James than either of them had planned but everything in the gift stores had looked so right and so charming and they had a basket to put everything in. And they did. He looked at the whole pile of brightly wrapped presents that littered their bed. Lee looked pleased with himself and a little like as if he would play with half the toys himself. Richard had to smile at that and he really couldn´t blame the other man, he felt much the same.   
“What´s on your mind?”  
Lee whispered rather tiredly , dropping down on the bed. “New Zealand. I bet it is great there. And maybe we can ship off Walther.”  
Lee chuckled and rolled over to face Richard who was busy neatly stacking the presents into one corner of the room with a sigh.   
“You don´t think these are too much , or?”  
Richard stopped and shook his head, a little distracted, making Lee frown.   
“No no, I was just thinking that we couldn´t possibly do that to the poor population of New Zealand or the sheep there.”  
Lee only laughed more, pulling Richard close once he was in reach.   
“No, we wouldn´t want that, babe. Really, those poor sheep.”  
He tried for a serious expression but couldn´t keep it on his face for long. It started as a tugging at his lips but soon after that was a full blown laugh. He looked forward to New Zealand, had never been there. Come to think of it, he hadn´t ever traveled much in his life before Richard dropped in. Or he had dropped into Richards arms. When they had told that particular story to James, the boy had looked at them both , tilted his head and had demanded to know if Richard would be a knight in shining armor after all, like in the movies and stories. Lee hadn´t let it go for a long time.   
“That´s what I love about you. We think alike.”  
Lee did want to go for a witty comeback at that and possibly more when a knock at the door erased each and every thought of it. Instead he just stared at Richard in something close to bewilderment. He didn´t know who that might be, hadn´t ordered room service and to the question if Richard had done so, the older man just shook his head. Wonderful.   
“Did we expect someone?”  
Lee whispered, all traces of tiredness suddenly gone from his voice and Richard himself seemed a little alarmed himself.  
“No, we did not.”  
It was ridiculous, they were on a ship. It couldn´t be press, wouldn´t be. Richard had made damn sure of that before they had started their journey, but still , you could never know.   
“I open on three.”  
Richard said and Lee felt a little like as if he suddenly had been sucked into a movie about spies and what not but didn´t tell Richard that, seeing as the absurdity of it all. Richard hadn´t even managed to turn the doorknob when a voice floated through the closed door.  
“It´s Roger. Please open up.”  
Well, shit. It was what they both had been thinking from the look they exchanged.  
“I am alone.”  
Thank god. Lee might have said that out loud the way Richard cleared his throat lightly, but hell – it was only the truth. If he had to put up with Walther one more minute he simply couldn´t guarantee what would happen next and he was sure that Richard felt very much the same. With a long suffering sigh he rolled off the bed, righted his hair and tried not to look as if he was about to commit murder in the near future. Thankfully the bump on his head was nearly gone, but it had hurt quite a bit and he was mad about it. The little display in the dining area between Roger and Walther had done little to erase the mighty need in him to strangle the man on sight.   
Richard gave him a look and he nodded in slight defeat. Really, he felt sorry for the other man, but had the assumption that something couldn´t be right in his head if he still was together with someone who was ..well – like that.   
“Hey.”  
Lee tried to smile but noticed in the way Richard was frozen in place that something was wrong. His eyes flew towards where Richard stood. Lee said nothing, fingers clenching at his side. Roger looked very much the same, like the last time he had seen him but now his left eye was swollen shut and his lip was split.   
“I ..wondered if I might stay here for the night? I know it´s much to ask but until we reach the next harbor and people are going from board they haven´t got a single cabin and..well – it just doesn´t work anymore.”  
They exchanged yet another look before Richard spoke.  
“You should report that.”  
Roger looked away, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth and gnawing on it.   
“You don´t understand.”  
Lee gave him a calm, calculating look, touching his nose out of habit, feeling the slightly askew bone in it.   
“Oh, I do.”  
He said, not looking at anything but Roger at the moment. He knew that by the way poor guy sat hunched over and folded in on himself it probably hadn´t been the first time either. It made something dark rise in him and Richard laid a hand on his shoulder as if to calm him and make sure he didn´t rush off and hunt down the other man.   
“Oh?”  
Roger said meekly, gingerly touching his cheek and wincing.   
“We should go and let that get checked out by a nurse. There are some on board aren´t there?”  
Lee asked , because he didn´t even consider that in the state of blissful happiness he had floated in until a minute ago.  
“Yeah, I think three decks down. I need to look on the map.”  
Roger went pale. Well, more pale than the poor man already was.   
“No, please . I ...it is alright.”  
The laugh that came from Lee surprised them all and it chilled Richard to the bone. He had never, since the first day the knew each other heard Lee laugh like _that_. The hairs on the back of his neck stood in a single line at the hollow and rather cold sound.   
“Oh, is it? Then why are you here? I don´t think alright is the word you are looking for Roger. I think the word you are looking for is divorce and the other one is lawsuit. It won´t get better, no matter how much you hope for it. Sorry to burst your bubble.”  
Poor Roger looked like as if he was torn between crying and lashing out.   
“It was a bad idea, I better go.”  
He tried to stand up but Lee gently pushed him down and handed him the icepack Richard in turn had handed him.   
“No, stay here. He won´t come here, if he knows what is good for him.”  
At that Roger deflated a bit and Lee turned on his heel, looking at Richard. Now he wasn´t tired but on edge, knowing not much helped in a situation like that.   
“I am going down to the pool. Swim a few rounds before I do something I regret, yeah?”  
He hoped that Richard would understand his reaction, seeing as he had been there when the whole mess with Clark had gone down.   
“Yeah, do that darling. But if you aren´t back in two hours I am sending for the coastguards.”  
He threatened and pulled Lee in for a light kiss as the younger man snagged his swimming trunks from where he had dropped them last.   
“I bet you would.”  
Lee teased before he was out of the door. Roger sniffed.   
“God, how do you that?”  
Richard was at a loss what Roger could mean, handing the other man a duvet so he could sleep on the couch in the cabin, trying to make sense of it before Roger continued to speak.   
“The two of you. Long distance, uh – you know..”  
Richard knew exactly what he meant and he couldn´t answer because he didn´t know himself. Lee and him, that just fitted and that was that. Lee meanwhile had made it to the pool and closed his eyes against the rage that threatened to surge forward in him. He knew that it wasn´t their business but Roger had made it theirs – another fact that made him bristle. Taking a dive and swimming a few lanes he hoisted himself up on the ledge, overlooking the rippling water.   
“Hey there buddy”  
He nearly jumped a foot in the air, turning his head.   
“I am not your buddy.”  
He clarified, not moving from the spot he was sitting in. How did people like that find him anyways, never mind – knowing what little he had seen of Walther the bastard would explain it anyway without him asking.   
“Uh..I .. well – I saw you leave your cabin and I wanted .. well Roger will come around, don´t you think? He is a diva, what can you do.”  
Lee never expected himself to be this calm as he reached forward and pulled until the man who had managed to ruin his night toppled into the pool with a scream.  
“Now listen you little shit. I am not your buddy, Richard isn´t your friend and if I see you again in the next hours or days anywhere near Roger I will do much more than this.”  
He said, pushing until the other man was under the surface before pulling him out of the water again. Red still clouded his vision and he felt his hands shaking, wanting to go to the neck of the other man but he held back the urge to do so, barely before he hoisted himself out of the water and looked down at a drenched, cursing Walther.   
“I am gonna sue you for that!”  
Lee just smiled darkly.   
“You think of getting a lawyer? Good for you. I think you will need it for the divorce.”  
With that he left.


	66. On board (And escalations)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of Course Walther had to be it. Of Course Richard began to see red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :D Next stop will be New Zealand :D well after that chapter :D I hope you enjoy.

Richard stared at Lee when he returned and told him what had happened as if he had grown a second head. Surely, it wasn´t clever but Lee had found it had been worth it. Roger as asleep , thank god for small miracles at least.   
“There wasn´t anybody else there?”  
Lee hadn´t seen anybody, had been to caught up in his thoughts because in all fairness he had gone to the pool to clear his head.   
“No, not really. But I fear that he will seize the chance to make a scene.”  
After all the other man had been very good at that before. Not that there would be much he could do since he was skating on thin ice himself, but still. The knock on the door came about twenty minutes later, a steward trying not to show how embarrassed he was at the situation, a screaming Walther, dripping wet in hot pursuit. Lee growled but Richard pushed him behind his back, further into the room. Normally the younger man would have protested but this time he was more than grateful.  
“Mr. Spooner! Will you keep it down, our other guests are trying to sleep.”  
The steward snapped as Walther continued to bicker and yell, moaning about his ruined closed. Not a minute went by without the man growing less and less sympathetic.   
“The hell I will! I was hurt! See?See!”  
There was a minor rip in his shirt where Lee had grabbed him but nothing more. The steward turned on his heel, silencing Walther with a look that was nothing more than annoyed and exasperated.   
“I am sure this was a misunderstanding.”  
It weren´t the right words or the words Lee would have used but he nodded none the less, wanting nothing more than this to be over with.   
“I let my temper run away with me and acted rash, I am sorry. It won´t happen again.”  
Lee says calmly, on autopilot and he wishes for something more, something that would sound more honest but he can´t muster it. Simply can´t because Roger, now awake (as is the entire floor) hides behind them both. God, he wants to end Walther but doesn´t.   
“I am going to sue you! You better learn to control your bitch, Mr.Hollywood.”  
Richard wasn´t easy to lash out anymore, really. He had learned to control his temper, thus he was a bit surprised at himself as he shoved the steward away and had his hands around Walthers throat faster than anyone can react. Onlookers be damned.   
“Rich. Let him down. He ain´t worth it.”  
Lee said flatly but Richard didn´t move from his spot. He may not look like it but he had a lot of strength to lift a guy like that , but he had a lot more than Walther anticipated. A squeak was all the other man uttered.  
“If you ever, in your miserable existence speak to me or my husband again , I´ll show you just how much control I got you tosser.”  
The steward, ripped out his stupor finally moved between them and separated them before Richard was able to tear the man limb from limb.   
“Gentleman I beg you to stop here, because we really don´t want that, now do we. Mr.Armitage? I know this is hard, but please calm down.”  
If it hadn´t been for Lee Richard would have lunged for the other man again because he mumbled something Lee didn´t quite hear, to busy to pull Richard into the cabin while eyeing Roger.  
“Mr.Spooner! This – this is enough. I wouldn´t normally react like that, but as I see nothing else will help here, you and your companion will leave this ship as soon as we reach the next harbor. I don´t care how much you paid, or what you think you can buy with your money - I will report this to the Captain myself.”  
Everything went quiet after that although Richard was still shaking with suppressed rage while Roger looked as if he wanted to sink through a hole in the ground. Neither Lee nor Richard could blame him.   
“Sorry for ruining your night.”  
He said and Lee, still dressed in nothing more than a bathrobe over his trunks fell on the bed with a sigh.   
“No, I shouldn´t have done that. I am sorry.”  
And he truly was, but Roger just smiled and shook his head, understanding Lees actions more than he had anticipated. The steward came back after a while, escorting Roger to a temporary single cabin as not to cause more trouble for everyone involed. When they were finally alone again he turned to Richard, smiling faintly.   
“Sorry. I just..”  
Richard shushed him with a kiss, knelt next to him on the bed, hugging him close to his chest.   
“God the guy had it coming. I would have punched his teeth in if he hadn´t stopped talking , you know. Nobody is allowed to talk about you like that. Or lay a hand on you.”   
He breathed hotly against Lees neck and the atmosphere in the room changed all of a sudden. They were both too worked up to sleep and the way Richard looked at him had Lee thinking of everything but not the drama that had happened in the last hour or so.   
“Really? You are that possessive?”  
“Yeah, I am when it comes to you, darling.”  
There was a growl in Richards voice and Lee looked at him with certain hunger. A hunger that needed to be stilled as soon as possible. Of course that was the moment there was another knock on the door. Lee groaned, flopping back on the bed, Richard still on top of him. He sighed. It was the steward again. It seemed at least that Lees speech had done something for Roger, because if anyone was about to sue anyone else, it was Roger.   
“So, it you would be willing to write that down? How Mr. Spooner – Roger that is – came by the bruising on his face? Seeing as he told the captain he , and I quote here, fled to you?”  
Richard, who was the first one able to do anything, nodded. Well, at least they would be in New Zealand come tomorrow afternoon and by god, they would make up for the lost time, Lee silently wowed to himself .


	67. Fairytales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So our boys are finally in New Zealand and Richard makes up for lost time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is a bit smutty but I felt the need for it :D After all our lovebirds, well are in love

New Zealand is everything Richard had expected from the prospects he had gone through and so much more, judging by the smile Lee throws his way, stretches his arms as his feet finally step on solid ground again. Richard is a bit thankful for that- not that he hadn´t enjoyed their cruise so far, but there had been a few not so pleasant developments in the past few days – all he blamed on Walther and a tad on the universe having it out for them.   
At least that was over now. He sighed, stepped from board and automatically reached for Lees hand.   
“Sea legs?”

Lee joked, towing his luggage behind him, as did Richard. They had the stuff they had bought for James send to their home (at a fee , Richard didn´t want to look at, but was sure it would be worth it.)   
“Maybe.”  
Richard joked right back, wrapping his arms around Lee from behind.   
“Any regrets?”  
He asked into Lees ear, making him shudder a little and had to grin as he imagined how he could use that to his advantage but tried to concentrate on Lees answer to his question.  
“Only One.”  
Lee said and turned his head towards Richard with a smile. 

“Not having drowned Walther. Everything else was spectacular, more than I ever could dream off. Really. I feel like a prince, or someone out of a fairytale.”  
Richard smiled. He smiled like he hadn´t done in a long time and he chuckles a bit at the wistful tune Lee had in his voice.   
“Of Fairytales we can speak – Walther – please never again.”  
Lee can relate, grins and presses a peck to Richards cheek, marching on until he realizes something. “Er..care to mention where we going?”  
And Richard laughs, laughs so loud that other people around them turn and smile, whisper what a cute and lovely couple they are. It makes Lee blush three different shades of red and he looks down at his shoes making Richard grasp for his hand, interlaces their fingers and holds on a little longer while ushering Lee to a taxi that takes them to the other side of Auckland to the most posh Hotel Lee has ever seen. The suite they enter is huge, decorated in earthy tones and everything seems so perfect that Lee spins around in circles and is afraid to touch anything.   
“Richard, you shouldn´t .. I mean. Wow.”  
He knows he acts like a tourist, but he feels like he is floating on a cloud, dreaming really. He can´t believe it and unbidden tears come to his eyes and his hand flies towards his mouth to dim the sounds of his sobbing. He briefly wonders when he became such a crybaby but blames it on Richard being English and posh, and all that he ever wanted in his life. In between wet hiccups he manages to get it out and Richard feels his own eyes burn at the soft spoken words and kisses every trace of wetness away from Lees face.   
He doesn´t know what it is that makes him this emotional but he knows this is the real thing, feels his heart flutter against his chest and presses his body closer to Lee until neither can say where one ends and the other begins. The undress without hurry and climb under the covers of the lush bed and cuddle together in their underwear. Richard feels younger than he is, grins like an idiot when Lee mutters sheepishly that he is sorry for breaking one of the rules Richard had set up before their trip. Richard can hardly remember that, hurried as he was and stressed. Planning a trip like that was worse than starring in a movie with people thinking that the world would stop spinning on it´s axis if they didn´t get attention right that very moment.   
Lees fingers walk up his thigh and Richard squirms a bit, shifting and trying to avoid the tickling sensation that makes all the innocent plans he has fly out the window. By the way Lee chuckles, he knows what Richard thinks and ducks out of the way as Richard tries to swat his hands away.   
“I love you.”  
Lee says all of a sudden, feeling the need to do so, pulling Richard close and on top of him, rolling them until they are out from under the covers and nearly topple to the floor. Lee grins and crawls on top of Richard when he has the chance.  
“Can I .. can I show you how much?”  
He asks in an sultry tone that makes Richard twitch and nearly rip Lees underwear. Lee chuckles again as he to his surprise, is lifted until his back hits a wall and his legs wrap around Richards middle.   
“I rather show you..how much..”  
Richard pants against his ear and lets Lee down for a moment, tilting his head to the side, eyes hungry.   
“Why don´t we shower first. It has been a long trip.”  
For a moment Lee wants to yell at Richard if he lost his mind but then the look Richard gives him finally registers and he grins, _strides_ towards the shower and what a shower it is. It easily holds two people and there is a bench in it. Lee opens and closes his mouth, turns and looks at Richard who is positively _stalking_ towards him, slotting their mouths together and lifting Lee up again and touching everywhere he can reach. A moan tears its way from his mouth and he barely registers the water or that he is shoved down onto the bench, wants to say something before Richard sinks to his knees. Lee wants to joke that a proposal like that is more than indecent but it falls flat because the heat of Richards mouth surrounding him makes him gasp and writhe until he hits his head against the shower wall, hands gliding into Richards hair.  
“Ah..”  
He wants to say more, but isn´t able to as fingers explore further and the heat around him intensifies. Richard leans back, looks at Lee from beneath his lashes.   
“I requested a shower like that especially.”  
Lee pants , eyes dark and cheeks flushed.   
“You don´t say.”  
He gets out, thankful that he is sitting, not looking at Richard, because if he would, he would lose what little control he had to begin with. And the fingers don´t stop what they are doing, either.

“Yeah, wanted to have you in here since we entered the bloody room.”  
Lee surges forward, body lifting up and mouth hanging open, slack with pleasure, hands splayed on the tiles behind him.  
“Oh..real-really?”  
He stutters out and Richard grins, ear to ear and lips ghosting over the shell of Lees ear.   
“Hm-mh. And I wondered, you know. Wondered if you could hold yourself up long enough for me – standing, can you?”  
Lee tries to stand, fingers dislodging , wringing a slight whine from him but he succeeds, lets Richard turn him around until his arms are stretched above his head, one leg on the bench and one on the floor. Richard can resist much longer, because every sound is thrown back at them from the shower walls and Lee all but shouts when they finally connect, slumping back against Richard when he finishes, tired and sated. He can feel in the way Richard tenses that his lover is done ,too and grins lazily.  
“Carry me to the bed?”  
Lee says, batting his eyelashes and Richard does hoist him up with a little struggle, carries him towards the bed and flops down next to him, utterly exhausted but thinking that it was worth it. If this is a fairytale, by god Lee never wants it to end and he is sure Richard will agree to that statement. And maybe to install a shower like that.


	68. Hikes and Superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys go hiking and Lee has an idea. Well, he has a lot of ideas. Richard is surprised and a little shocked as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeeheee... to the beginnig of the weekend another chapter. Again, thank you sooo much for reading and commenting <3 I am very glad you enjoy it. Have a lovely day.

The next day, they go for a hike and Richard only wheezes a little while trying to keep up with Lee who is in a mood that more or less can be described as overly excited. He had hoped that their previous night had powered out Lee to sleep in but his hope had been in vain. It was his own fault, really – he could have just said that a lot of things weren´t as easy as they were before his near fatal accident. He still can´t forget the way Lee had looked at him back then, the image branded into the back of his mind.   
Lee didn´t ask what was wrong, just stopped on his trail and extended a hand towards Richard and pulled him along. The view was magnificent and well worth the ache in his muscles. It was like as if they were in another world, far from New York, no car in sight and the only thing surrounding them nature. Lee loved it, every minute, every second. He grinned at Richard, pulling him to a hilltop and against his side.   
“God what are you, Spiderman?”  
Richard wheezed a little and Lee grinned.   
“Well I live in New York, so you can never know. But, no. Seriously Richard if anyone would be Superhero material, it would be you.”  
Richard raised his eyebrows at that. Not that he never considered a different career path but that was something else entirely.  
“Do continue.”  
Lee gave him a toothy grin, wriggling his eyebrows and turning to oversee the landscape and trying to hold in the laugh that wanted to bubble forth at Richards posture and expression.  
“Well, you would be the Dark Knight, of course. You know.”   
Richard just stared at him blankly for a moment, waiting for something more to come. He hadn´t been exactly the comic lover back in his youth, much less than Lee anyway – who had blushed a very fiery red as Richard had found a whole box stuffed back in his closet as they moved, lovingly cared for and in mint condition. Partly older than Lee himself. He wrecked his brain a bit, the Dark Knight, that sounded familiar. He mulled it over a bit, eyes widening .  
“Batman? Why on earth would I be Batman?”  
He asked, rather flushed and Lee grinned even broader, eyes sparkling before giving a confirming nod. The breeze had picked up, ruffling his hair and Richard shook his head.   
“Wouldn´t that make you Robin? The – what was it? Boy Wonder?”  
Lee blushed again, more due to the implication than the wind but chuckled.   
“Nah, I would be Nightwing.”  
Again, Richard stared blankly and Lee sighed, muttering something about having to teach Richard about the finer things in life while dragging him along their path, staring at the map in his hands with a frown.   
“What, your Spidey Sense not working, love?”  
Lee glared but there was no heat behind it, he handed the map to Richard who looked at it calmly for a few minutes before turning it over in his hands.   
“I think, we need to go the other way.”  
He said and Lee groaned, head in his hands. It was cute, Richard had to give him that and it lessened the anger he felt a little because he had asked Lee if he was able to read maps. Actual Ones and not the things Google provided. At first Lee had laughed, now it was Richards turn to look smug.  
“I don´t know about you, but how about we – uh take a break , enjoy the sights.”  
He gestured at something white in the distance that upon looking closer was a gaggle of sheep happily chewing away on grass. Taking off his backpack Richard answered by flopping down with a sigh and Lee did the same.  
“Are you mad at me?”  
The question was so out of the blue that Richard nearly fell over, because really – there wasn´t anything he could think of that would make him mad at Lee.   
“Why would I ? Is there a reason I should know about? A hot guy hiding back in a closet somewhere? “  
It was a joke , really but something in Richard always thought that one of these days he could wake up from the pleasant dream he currently was living. Lee shook his head, leaning over and giving him a loving kiss, reassuring him.  
“About the Batman thing. And the map. I just wanted to impress you a bit, you know. Since you organized all of it and well – here we are.”  
Richard got it instantly, wrapped his arm around Lees waist and kissed him on the lips, nearly tumbling over him on the grass. Lee pushed at his chest, gasped a little and laughed.   
“Hey, what was that for?”  
Now Richard blushed, raked a hand through his hair before laying back down, pulling Lee along and looking at the sky.   
“Just wanted to make sure you get those silly thoughts out of your head, is all. The only fault I see right now is that I might slip a little in my control.”  
Lee grinned.   
“Shame.”  
Richard nodded.   
“No. Not on the grass. I won´t ruin my clothes I swear. And we have a long way to walk, which might take hours ..”  
Lee looked at him from underneath his lashes, grinned again but said nothing before he sat up. It was very tempting but he couldn´t really sit long enough as it was after last night and got up with a slight wince. Richard yet again looked smug.   
“I saw that, Mister.”  
Lee accused with a pout and eyes that were narrowed to slits. Richard merely tried for coy and sat up himself before he stood and stretched.  
“What?”  
Lee positively glowered at him, cheeks a lovely pink before brushing a lock of hair behind his ear, smirking.  
“What?”  
Richard asked a little confused.   
“I am glad you aren´t mad at me for the Batman thing, you know.”  
There was more to that, Richard just knew but he waited patiently. As patiently as he could, because that expression? That expression spelled trouble – mostly for him. Lee just folded his hands and cleared his throat.   
“You know , Halloween is coming up , yes?”   
Oh _no_  
“Yes?”  
Richard asked, dreading the answer. Lee bounced a little at his side.   
“Well, you know. People dress up and all that. And when I saw you looking at my box of comics.. all dark and mysterious – yeah! Like you look now, that glare is perfect, I miiiiiiight – have ordered costumes.”  
He knew he should have said no, put his foot down and tell Lee that he was to old to play dress up and handing out sweets to children under bedsheets dressed as ghosts.   
“Costumes?”  
Lee nodded, tugging him close and along – this time in the right direction.  
“Yeah, they had a Nightwing One as well.”  
He gushed and Richard knew that he would never tire of that hopeful giddy expression Lee wore, or the flush in his cheeks. So he said the only thing that came to mind.  
“If it doesn´t fit, I am not wearing it.”  
Lee simply grinned.   
“Oh it will. I know your size, don´t worry.”  
Yeah, here he was in New Zealand , the man he loved at his side and not worried about dressing up as Batman for a holiday he never really had celebrated. Yeah, he was so in love it wasn´t funny anymore and all his friends had stopped joking about it. At least Graham had become more subtle. Small victories.


	69. Relax and Unwind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys try to relax and unwind a little

Richard is sure he is dead once they are back in their hotel but he also looks forward to the massage he has booked them. Something Lee can relate to, judgeing from the blissful look on hisvface as steady hands knead his back. There is a slight hiss and Richard wants to glower at Fernando ( And isn't that an ironic name for someone resembling Hulk) But the mannjust laughs a bit, having caught the jealous and slightly posessive look thrown his way.   
"My, if I would get a dollar everytime I get that look I would be so rich. I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
Lee shook his head, reaching for Richards hand berween their benches. Richard did get the same threatment from a guy named Alex who just seemed to have a blast by throwing qoutes from his movies that Richard hardly remembered himself if he was honest. Fernando had sensed his reculance and told Alex, bright eyed and smiling to keep his cool. Alex had pouted but had backed off, apologising while working out thebkinks in Richards back.  
"I am sorry if I am a bit forward, Sir! But it's not every day one gets to knead a celebrity , or the gorgous husband for that matter, right Nando?"  
He sighed dramatically, pausing a bit at Richards calves.. Fernando just rolled his eyes, asking Lee to turn over. Lee did so with only slight hasitation, blushing a bit. Fernando said nothing, just continued with his task.  
"So, the two of you .. want to relax or party? I mean, I could give you some tips for clubs." Lee bit his lip, trying to gauge Richards reaction. Richard just looked at him, then at Fernando who sighed a bit.  
"I promise I am not hitting on you. That happens all the time, so don't worry."  
He gestured wearily towards Lee groin who clasped his hands over it and flushed before sitting up. Alex looked like he wanted to giggle but didn't, helping Richard up.  
"You know I think it would be good on you to party. There are tons of clubs around here and seeing at how stressed you are ...well having felt it."  
He trailed off, handed Richard his robe as did Fernando for Lee.  
"I think that would be lovely. It has been a long time since I hit the dance floor."  
Which was partly because of his fame and not being able to turn around on said dancefloor due to cameras shoved into his face. Here, far away from all of that at least for a while, it was different. Lee had caught himself enough to finally join in the conversation, forgetting about the horror of his bodily reactions as Richard had much the same. At least that was some relief (no pun intended)   
Fernando beamed.  
"Tell you what, you go back to your room and I will send up a few pamplets."  
Richard nodded, gaze flickering to Lee. He didn't say anything until they were back in their room but once there he turned on his heel and gestured for Lee to voice what bugged him.  
"I've never really been the clubbing type,you know. And I can't really dance as you know."  
That Richard knew but he had the feeling that there was something else. Lee just gave up after a moment, raking a hand through his hair and flopping back on tge bed.  
"I never know what to wear and I don't want to look like your run of the mill tourist." He muttered but knew that Richard was at a loss himself, being out of the clubbing game even longer as himself. That much he also told Fernando who had brought up several bright brochures himself and pursed his lips in thought. After a minute he beamed and Richard wasn'sure if he liked the idea of what the man suggested next but he agreed as well as Lee. Namely to the fact to get styled up by him and Alex - even if had been very clear about how much Make up and hair produtcs he wanted on his person - slim to none. Lee agreed and Alex pouted, let put a huff before dragging him away under Richards gaze.  
"Ah ah."  
He tutted, dragging Lee alongside him who much to Richards amusement looked slightly panicked while he was curious. He even had jokes prepared and right at the t7p of his tongue as Lee returned wearing a thin white shirt, possibly a size too small the way it clung to his torso and white slacks. He knew it, Alex was out on a mission to kill himnand the tiredness he had felt earlier that day had flown out the window and Lee looked at himnfrom underneath lashes. He noticed it then, the dark eyeliner framing his expressive gaze. Alex, who stood behind Lee, looked smug. Ricjard himself was dressed similar and going by the slight flush in Lees cheeks he liked it quite a bit. Fernando gave him the thumbs up and ushered them both from the room and to a taxi.  
"Come on, live it up."  
Richard only nodded and Lee squeezed his hand, licking his lips.  
"You know, people around here are really friendly. I think we should tip Fernando and Alex some more, don't you?"  
Richard leaned closer, pressed a kiss to slightly painted ones, dipping his tongue inside Lees mouth.  
"Hrmhrm. So you like what you see yourself then?"  
He just had to ask but Lee just nodded and kissed his neck, hands wandering under Richards shirt. The only thing that stopped them from going further was the decent cough from the cabbie. Flushed Lee climbed over Richard and paid the man. Dragging Richard into the packed club he stood frozen for a moment. The room was packes, people swaying to music and now it also dawned on them why Fernando and Alex had insiated of them wearing white. It was easily to spot Fernando, even in the sea of swaying bodies , clad in white. On instinct his hand grabbed Richards who in turn was practicalky hauled in by Fernando and Alex who appearently had taken on their own advice to live a little.  
By the way they were waved through without any questions Richard assumed that the both of them were regulars. He looked around for Lee, who suddenly was behind him moving and laughing, a drink in his hand, helpfully provided by Alex, who seemed pleased and shimmied over towards Fernando.  
"You're having fun, don't you?"  
Richard asked, dancing Lee towards the next wall and kissing him. There was something in the air or maybe it was just the drinks but Richard decided to not question it further when Lee laughs against his lips, tasting all sorts of wonderful with a hint of cherry mixed in. There is a twinkle in his eyes as he grabs one of the cherries on the bar, rolling it around his tongue and presenting it to Richard after a while. Now with a knot in the stem.  
"Yup. Wanna join me and learn how to do that?"  
Lee feels wild, reckless and more in love like ever before when Richard grabs the whole bowl,of cherries.


	70. Back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they really couldn't have anticipated that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there a lot plot points tomfollow but I promise I will tie them up :) So enjoy and have a lovely weekend.

All good things come to an end. It is sort of is an old and hollow sentence that makes no sense until you get it. Richard gets it when Lee looks at him, barefoot on the edge of the sea, toes wriggling in the sand. It is an odd thought that comes to him and Lee senses it, reaches out his hand and pulls Richard close to him. He inhales the scent of his hair, the stronger smell of his cologne.  
"We've come a long way."  
Richard hears himself say and he just knows that Lee bites the tip of his tongue to not give in and reply with a witty remark. Come the day after tomorrow they will be back in the states and they both know that live will get normal than. Well, as normal as it can get. Lee turns, cups Richards face in both hands and presses a kiss to his forehead.  
"Jane Austen would be proud of us, wouldn't she?"  
Richard snorts, tries to stay serious but can't. So instead he clasps their hands together and they face the current again without saying anything.  
When they land in New York the jetlag is killing them both and Lee thinks he will never again make fun of Richards sunglasses, there are a ton of missed calls on the phone, the mailbox is spilling over. He is glad that Luke picks them up and for once Richard is too, because he just knows how much Graham would tell him everything they missed in the last weeks. Luke clears his throat.  
"What?"  
Richard says impatient , having lost his nerve on the flight and flopping down in the living room where an overky excited Carl bounces up to Lee and around him.  
"The name Walther Spooner, does that ring a bell?"  
Lee freezes while patting Carl and looks up from underneath his glasses and Richard suddenly sits ramrod straight on the sofa, thinking of many things but nothing quite prepares him for what Luke says next, once Lee has explained what happened between them on board.  
"I see. Well. You don't need to worry that he might sue you. He's dead."  
Lee feels faint for a moment there and suts next to Richard, staring at him as if he is still dreaming. Or having a nightmare.   
"Not to sound..rude." Richard presses out and looks at Luke with a stony expression. "But how does that concern us?"   
He really would like to know that, because as far as he is concerned there hadn't been anything linking them but bad luck. Luke just rakes a hand through his hair and that is when Lee sees it, the ring on his finger . He doesn't need to ask but jealousy comes up that they won't be able to tie the knot for another few months and Luke appearently had no problem at all doing so with Simon because their life was normal. Well, fuck it.  
Luke sees the look but throws Lee another look that tells him that now is not the place or time to say something like that. He pats down his shirt for cigarettes and pulls one out, offering one to Richard who takes it gladly and Lee scrambles for an ashtray.  
"I was asking myself that until I got a call from a befriended reporter."  
He doesn't say a name but Richard just knows that he speaks about Dean. Richard wasn't fooled into believing they could hide from the press forever, even if he had hoped for a little while to do just that.  
"There is not really a reason the two of you should worry but I imagine there will be quite a few questions because the man did tell everyone and their mother that you are friends."  
Richard gritted his teeth. He felt anger boiling up inside of him while Lee tried to wrap his head around the news.  
"I don ' t understand how you got roped into this. I mean I don't even understand how we.."  
He trailed off. Luke gave them a tight smile.  
"It is well known that I am your lawyer, isn't it?"  
It was. They all knew it. Suddenly Lee jumped up, wanted to do something but sat down again.  
"What the hell happened?"  
Luke tries to keep his cool because he really doesn't know that himself, or at least he can't quite believe that he got a call in the wee hours of the morning from someone he had never heard of from a prison celk in New Zealand. At first he had thought it was a prank and had barked loudly into his phone that it wasn't funny, thus waking Simon next to him. Mentally he had also made a note to cancel the service that automatically forwared calls to his home number.  
"You are joking."  
Richard says blankly, can't believe what he is hearing but Luke just smiles at them both with a shake of his head, sighing deeply.  
"I am afraid I am not joking. I also called Graham to deal with the press. Out of respect because you are my friends and secondly because I really thought that was a prank."  
Lee blinked.  
"Roger shot him? I mean, how?"  
Okay, that came out stupid but who could blame either of them by receiving that kind of news only a few hours after they stepped off a plane and were still tuned into another time zone..  
"Self Defense. As he is an American Citzien he will be trialled and sentenced here. All I can say is that it, well, it looks a little grim."  
Richard seizes the moment to go and grab a bottle of wine which Luke is glad for.  
"Still not getting it. I mean I can understand why.."  
Lee stopped himself before something would come out his mouth he would regret. It turned out that Roger had called Luke because he hoped that either Lee or Richard would take a stand for him, if only to vouch for the things that happened on the ship.  
"What would you say?"  
Luke snorted. As if they ever had listened to him in the first place.  
"As a friend or a lawyer?"  
Lee sighed, closing his eyes against the headache forming behind his eyelids.  
"Both."  
Luke leaned forward, squeezed Lees thigh, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Richard once he returned but didn't find it in himself to go into a jealous rage for he was simply to tired.  
"Make your statement as you did on thecship, try to keep your cool and don't react too emotional."  
A laugh bubbled forth from within him without Lee wanting it to.   
"Yeah, I know the feeling."  
Richard muttered, uncorking the wine. Reality had them back, it seemed.


	71. Prisons, friends and inbetweens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham asks himself some questions, so do Richard and Lee. Also there would be poor Roger. Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our story continues :D Close to a 100k now. - eh- well. It is fun, what can I say. I really hope you still enjoy this and have a lovely start into the week :D

Graham often wondered what his life had become like in the last months. He had aged – well that had been natural to some degree but still he did blame part of it on his job and clients. One client in particular and his spouse, but he never mentioned that because he also had a very soft spot for Richard and even for Lee, whom he had very fondly told that he sometimes had the cuteness to cause your teeth to rot.   
He silently planned that maybe, just maybe in the next Ad Campaign he could convince Lee to play along and smile in the background. It was for sweets and Richard wasn´t particular sweet on that subject so to speak. He tittered a bit at his own pun, only halfway listening to what that lawyer friend of Lees told him over the line, also silently contemplating hopping on the next plane back from London to New York but he decided against it.  
“Will this be turned on Richard?”  
He asked wearily, trying not to sound to annoyed at a man he hardly knew but knew enough of to understand that he would fight tooth and claw for his friends. He heard Luke sigh over the line as he explained in detail what exactly had happened and what the press would do with once they got wind.  
“You know the answer to that already, so why ask me.”  
Graham knew enough of that side of his business and prepared a statement on Richards behalf, because he just knew what would happen if he let Richard take matters into his own hands. Richard had the knack of losing his patience more often than not around reporters and photographers and it had astounded him that since he was around Lee that side of him hadn´t shown much. A thing he was really grateful for.   
It also wasn´t the first time Richard would be in a court room and Richard knew how to behave, it was his job to act, so why did the worry? Graham had asked that himself a thousand of times in the past. Maybe it was his instinct to worry for Richard, because Richard was a lot more than a client, a friend, someone he loved – cared for like a brother. Lighting up a cigarette he walked but a hole into the floor of his office, trying to wrap his head around what was bugging him. He knew, once he was back in his mostly empty flat. He felt excluded even if they told him that it he was family. A snort tore itself from his throat, he was going soft.   
Neither Richard or Lee knew about the thoughts Graham had back at home in New York, where Lee fiddled with his tie, sighed and gave up with a frustration that made Richard chuckle.   
“I am going to print you one of those nifty manuals and glue it next to the mirror.”  
Lee flushed a bit and turned with a pout.   
“Don´t make fun of me.”  
Richards smile softened and he pressed a kiss to Lees forehead. He would never make fun of Lee – well not too much and Lee knew that.   
“What is that face for?”  
Lee asked and Richard shook his head.   
“I talked to Graham, he sounded, he sounded a bit off. I thought it was because of the news and all that but I have the feeling there is more to that.”  
If anything Richard had a keen sense of observation, although he rarely used it. Lee was calm and collected and looked at him through his lashes.   
“You amaze me, really, you do.”  
Richard frowned but Lee just smiled at him, hands on his shoulders, foreheads pressed together.   
“What is that supposed to mean? And should I really be thankful for that?”  
He had the the slight feeling that Lee wanted to say something more but didn´t, wanting to let him stew a bit more or not from the task at hand. They had finally managed to get a visit with Roger who on the phone had sounded so sad it had almost hurt physically both of them. And the sight of the man was nothing more than frightening. He was paler than the last time they had seen him although the bruises had faded. His hands shook and where the ring used to sit there was a pale line, the only thing reminding anyone that he had been somewhere sunny.   
“Thank you for coming guys, really – it means a lot to me.”  
He sounded broken but there wasn´t anything that Richard or Lee could do. They could just listen to Roger explain what had happened and the way he shook spoke volumes. It made Lees blood run cold but he kept his mouth shut so he wouldn´t say anything that he came to regret later.   
“No problem.”  
Richard said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, even if they only heard one side of it so far. He continued before he could follow that darker train of thought.   
“There isn´t much the both of us can do for you, you know but we will try ..to make a statement. You know.”  
He felt uneasy , even after they left and Roger had been escorted back to his cell. Richard pitied the poor guy, after all there wasn´t someone else he could call or rely on it seemed and suddenly it clicked. A few hours later he called Graham, for no other reason as to tell him how much of a lousy friend he had been. Graham, on his side of the ocean was torn between amazed and annoyed because of the time difference Richard always seemed to forget.   
“We are good, Richard. Really, don´t worry but read the script I sent you. If you can stop shagging that lovely soon to be husband of yours, that is.”  
Richard turned beet red and looked at Lee who was busy cleaning the kitchen and preparing dinner. Well, at least he tried until Richard came up behind him and ,not being able to force down the childish urge inside of him loudly hollered   
“Buh!”  
Lee shrieked ( He would deny that later) sending pots and pans flying. Richard chuckled, laughing until he was crying. They needed a bit of humor for the days that would come, he was certain of it. Lee glared at him for a moment but joined in his laughter.   
“Everything alright?”  
He asked, pointing towards the phone and Richard nodded, for once on this day certain.


	72. Trials, Decisions and guest lists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This all was quite a mess and madness - but they where in it anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the journey goes on and while this time around it isn´t stifling heat but pouring rain that bears down while I write, I do hope you all had a lovely day and week so far:)

Lee knows, he thinks to much about certain things, about reactions and happenings – and that he blends out his past to the point where nobody can read him. He had liked that about himself until recently. Recently meaning yesterday when he was in the supermarket and had seen a face that reminded him of someone he had long forgotten. Maybe the whole mess that had happened to Roger and Walther was finally catching up with him. Maybe it is something else, something that bothers him but nobody ever acknowledges.   
It is a sunny while Lee is on the phone with Martin and they both go over the numbers from last month. Autumn will come soon and so will the holiday season, that also meant there would be a lot of decorating and Martin had suggested something to up the sales. Something Lee wouldn´t have thought of himself if he hadn´t picked up the phone when Graham had called. He had never taken the time to talk to long to the other man but it wasn´t because he didn´t like him, it was just because he didn´t know what to talk to him about. Right now, he felt as if he needed to talk to him again, before they got to court. No, first of all – he decided – he needed to talk to Richard. Richard looked up from his script, a cup of tea balanced on his knee and blinked.  
“You nervous about the trial?”  
Well, that he was too. The case had drawn much more attention and it had been largely because Walther, unbeknownst to them had given interviews, even gone so far to lie about them having had all sexual shenanigans together. Lee shuddered at the thought alone and shook his head. It hadn´t been because of him, that much he knew but it still angered him. And it had also angered him that Roger hadn´t told them that when they had first visited them before it occurred to him that Roger probably felt ashamed by it.  
“A bit, yeah. Graham called, told me something about an ad campaign you are about to shoot and asked me if I would agree to , er – star in it with you.”  
He flushed, cheeks as red as the sweater he wore. That wasn´t his world, never had been but he was curious to some extent, that he had to admit.   
“Oh?”  
Richard simply said, his face a perfect mask of calmness that Lee hated. He hated it when Richard looked at him without giving anything away, cursed that he was that good at it.   
“Yeah. I don´t know. Why would...isn´t that bad for your image?”  
Lee regretted it as soon as it left his mouth and it was visible on his face but Richard still didn´t budge, still didn´t say anything, just sipped his tea again.   
“My image? I thought we had moved past that. Well, maybe we need to work on that a little more, if you are still concerned about my fans or my life?”  
Now Lee was confused, honest to god confused, because this wasn´t about the ad, wasn´t about being spotted kissing in public or the whole mess with Roger. No no, this was something else entirely.   
He moved the cup from Richards fingers, sat down on his lap and sighed.   
“I am sorry if I did something wrong, or – hurt you with what I said, it´s just.. I can´t imagine acting. You know, me.” He looked away. That wasn´t the whole truth either. There had been some letters - fan letters as Richard had called them and not all of them where friendly. Those people thought that Lee had taken Richard away from them – which was ridiculous in the first place and had driven Richard to smash a stack of plates in a fit of rage. He just couldn´t help it.   
“I think it would be a statement to shut those trolls up. If you want that, or are you still afraid we might someday end up like Roger and Walther?”  
Dread settled on Lees shoulders like lead but he lifted his chin and looked at Richard. There wasn´t anger there, there was something that he would have called defeat. His hands reached out and cupped Richards jaw, lips ghosting over his stubble tenderly.   
“No. God no, I would never think that – I was just working myself up about all and about something Martin said to me. I sometimes think too much, that is all.”  
Richard didn´t prod. He had learned to be patient, even it was slightly painful for him to be _that_ patient. If he wouldn´t be in love so much he would have yelled, but he was – utterly and stupid in love, saw everything a little brighter and his family had loved Lee. Still did. He had to grin as he remembered their stay there and how charmingly red Lee had turned evey time Richards mother had pinched his cheek.   
“You can tell me, you know.”  
He says in what he hopes is reassuring and sweet, his hands around Lees waist. Lee sighed and put his head on Richards shoulder, arms loosely draped around his shoulders. It was an awkward position for people that tall.   
It had started small enough, he knew that. He had gone over the invitations for the wedding, again and again and then he had realized that he hadn´t even thought about inviting his sister or his father. He just didn´t want to. With his father the reason had been clear but with his sister, well. He hardly had seen her since their mother passed, didn´t talk to her. It was just like that. He hated how small his voice seemed right then but Richard just cupped the back of his neck and kissed him behind his ear.  
“You feel guilty about that, don´t you, love?”  
He simply nodded because he did. He wondered what had happened to their lives since they were kids but stopped that train of thoughts because he just knew. They had grown up and apart due to life as bitter as it was.   
“It´s just that. I don´t. She called once, when I was in the hospital – you know, she called dad. And dad, well, you know him.”  
Richard did but didn´t want to say something about the mans father when he was this emotional. He felt his leg cramp but he didn´t say a thing, just stroked over Lees back and hoped it would soothe his ache.   
“You know, think about it. I haven´t made my mind up either about the whole guest list thing. Mostly because I tend to not being able to read my own handwriting.”  
It got him the laugh he had been aiming for and he was pleased for that.   
“Something else on your mind?”  
Of course Richard knew that there was something else but he didn´t prod to much, wanted Lee to come forward with it himself. Lee bit his lip a bit and shook his head. That had time until later, until after their statements but if he doesn´t come out with it, he will never do it.   
“Martin thought you could sign a few books over the holidays to improve sales, and I didn´t know how to ask that because I just know how it will look for some people and then they start to write that crap again and...and..”  
He stopped his rambling when Richard looked at him so wide eyed that he couldn´t stop laughing. Richard looked like a very surprised, startled owl.   
“Are you daft? You beat yourself up over that? I´d love to do that, could get me a few nice articles and that. Get the vultures off my back.”  
Wonderful, now he felt not only dumb but also guilty – undoubtedly the last thing that Richard had intended. Softly, Richard nudged him until he slipped off his lap and stood. 

“Come on, lets go for a walk.”  
Carl barked happily in the background , reminding them both that he was still there too. It brought a smile to both of them. Twirling the leash between his fingers and sneezing mildly Richard frowned.   
“You don´t have to – that Ad Campaign, you know. I don´t even know what Graham was thinking.”  
Lee, for all the thoughts running through his head stopped in the doorway and turned, mimicking Graham with frightening precision in posture and accent.   
“You know lad, there will be a whole line of grandmothers wanting to pinch yer cheeks if you ever sell chocolate, you´re the poster boy for cute – fucking hell, that makes me wanna retch!”  
Richard, once again stared before he laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes. They can use eveyt laughter, every bit of happiness, they both realize as soon as they step into the courtroom the next day. It is still sunny , even if it got colder and not yet raining. The only sound that is constant in both their ears is the clicking of cameras. Lee does try to ignore it until someone bumps him into the shoulder and he turns a glare to them, only to realize it is Dean. So Aidan is there somewhere too and he tramples down the slight hurt and betrayal he feels at that, because it was their job to take pictures and ask questions that made people cringe. At least they were honest about that.   
“Hey.”  
Dean says all to friendly and businesslike at once. Sp this is indeed a professional meeting.   
“Hey.”  
He says, huddling back into the corner he stands and waits for Richard, already trapped by other reporters and moving forward only slowly. He sighed unhappily, crossing his arms about his chest as first Richard was called to the stand and the judge all but glared down at him.   
“Mr.Armitage, please tell us your side of events and please do it fast so this _circus_ is over soon.”  
The crowd tittered and Lee tensed. Dean grabbed his arm.  
“It will be alright.”  
He spoke in low tones and Lee chanced a glance at Roger who looked tired and grim. It wouldn´t be for him. Richard spoke softly but also without much of emotion while Lee watched and hoped he could adopt some of the calmness Richard had. He wasn´t really in that courtroom with his thoughts, thought back to what he called family, or once had anyway and sighed. A hand squeezed his arm and he gave Dean a somewhat warm smile. Yeah, he had family. It came unbidden and harsh to him that he wasn´t related to the people he called family and he blinked, thinking that it wouldn´t be long now before James joined them again, before Halloween and Martins crude jokes about certain forms of candy. He barely registered the judge calling him to the stand but scrambled to get up there. His lines where much the same as Richards, only adding what had happened in the pool area and how they had found Roger – or more precisely, Roger had found them.   
There would pass another few days or weeks until the verdict would be spoken but for now it was all they could do to help the poor man. If it would help at all, but Lee kept that to himself, seeking Richard out in the crowd and grabbing for his arm, waving to Dean and Aidan on their way out.   
Once they where home again, shoes and socks discarded , curled up on the sofa Lees gaze focused on a piece of paper adorned with Richards handwriting.   
“I won´t invite her.”

He said, all of a sudden and Richard nodded. He was glad that they understood each other without man words. Or no words at all.


	73. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys find something and ask themselves a few questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on our Story goes :D Hope you have a great week so far <3

When Richard opens the mail, he thinks nothing of it, really. He had almost forgotten about the pictures that Lee and him had Aidan shoot of them – to be published in a magazine – and not only one, but first the one Aidan worked for at the moment. It had been so stressful for them that it nearly hadn´t been possible at all, not only Richard and Lee but also Aidan and Dean had work and the months had been so busy and filled with other things that he completely had forgotten about the two hour night shoot that had been more than just improvised. It had been madness, that much he remembered as he finally gave them a closer look.   
Aidan definitely knew what he was doing - they were beautiful, something that was yet again proof of their love but he wasn´t so sure anymore if he wanted them to be published to the entire world. If Lee would want that – if people had a right to see them like that. It seemed so personal and he wasn´t really sure if he wanted to give that much of his emotions away, because they were genuine and visible on his face in the pictures as he flipped through them. Maybe they should have a chat about that, he mused.   
He had never been that much of a public person in the first the place but now? He didn´t really know anymore but he knew he had changed, for the better no less. He smiled a lot and -  
“Rich! Stop brooding and help me will you?”  
Lee looked at him over a box that he tried to heft up the stairs towards the attic and couldn´t do that by himself. Right, the presents for James – they still had to hide these or the boy would find them before Christmas and he was traditional in that way, so thank you very much. His lips twitched as he remembered the disbelieving laugh that Graham had thrown him over the line as he asked about him being Santa, but Graham had agreed. So, not only he had changed.   
“Riiicccchh...if you don´t help me you switch places with Carl tonight. And I am not talking about the couch, Mister!”  
Lee sing songed and that made him hastily throw all of the mail on the kitchen table, scrambling to help Lee. As he had rightly assumed the shipping fee for all that stuff (which hadn´t seemed that much in the first place when they had bought it) had made his credit card weep and had caused him go a little pale but on the other hand he had known that it was worth it.  
“Did we really buy all that?”  
He asked again, helping Lee to stack the presents in the attic and scratched his head. My, they were really on a mission to spoil that boy rotten. A thought that pleased him immensely for some reason.   
“Yeah, we did. Well, half of it is my fault, really, because that seemed all so shiny and sparkly and so .. wonderful.”  
He all but danced around the attic, stubbing his toe on something and frowned. Richard knew exactly what it was and hastily wanted to shove it away and out of sight. Not because he didn´t want Lee to know, just because there were memories connected to that item he never really thought about anymore – not on a daily basis and not weekly. Not ever if he tried to.   
“What _is_ that?”  
Lee said and Richard cursed his slightly longer frame and thus longer reach for things.   
“A guitar.”  
Richard says flatly and his cheeks color high, so much that Lee is more than just curious. Richard seldom talked about his past but he respected that. He guessed it was a habit born out of practice if you were an actor that was famous.   
“Yours?”  
Okay, that question had been dumb, if only a little.   
“Yeah. I played, back in school.”  
Lee was a little speechless but he expected Richard to continue and was surprised when Richard didn´t say anything else about it. His lips were set in a thin line and he seemed to mull things over in his head. Lee didn´t want to prod but his mouth was faster than his brain.  
“Can you play something for me?”  
That seemed to wake Richard a little from his thoughts but he still shook his head, placing the guitar back in the farthest corner of the attic, so Lee didn´t ask further in the hope that Richard would tell him sooner or later on his own.   
“Was that all of it?”  
Richard deflected and Lee let him for now, nodding.   
“I guess he will have a wonderful Christmas, as will we.”  
Lee was always so full of hope and bottled sunshine (yes, Richard thought that a lot but he never said it out loud) that the gloomy memories that only a few seconds ago had cluttered his mind vanished as soon as they had come over him.   
“Yeah. Graham agreed by the way – on the condition that we owe him a fine bottle of scotch.”  
Lee scrunched his nose up.   
“Where is his Christmas Spirit? I mean...”  
Richard just grinned before he shrugged.   
“Well, he is a manager, you know how those people can be.”  
Lee had just to chuckle at that all the way down the ladder from the attic, holding out his hand to Richard when he saw the older man grimace in slight pain, having overused his leg again. He knew that Richard often felt a twinge of pain but never said anything about it and he never said something about the stinging of his faded burns, the way the scars itched. They had an agreement. Lazily making his way into the kitchen to fetch them something to drink his gaze fell onto a rather large envelope in the middle of the table. Calling for Richard and handing him a glass of water before nodding at the envelope.   
“What is that? I know, I ask that a lot today but I´ve been carrying a shitload of heavy stuff and been up and down a ladder, so please bear with me.”  
Richard took a sip of water and snorted.   
“Pictures. You know, from that photo shoot we did. The ones that will announce our wedding to the press and the entire world.”  
Lee knew from the way Richard talked that he still was thinking of something else, mulling it over in his head- or as he had put it earlier, he was brooding.   
“And you don´t want that anymore?”  
Lee tried and sipped a glass of water himself, eying Richard hesitantly.   
“That´s not it darling. It´s just, that this there shows me. You know.”  
Putting down his glass Lee moved closer to Richard, putting both hands on his shoulder and reassuring him that everything would be good, even if they didn´t publish those pictures. He had thought about that a lot himself if he were honest and he understood what Richard meant. They both weren´t really wearing a mask that hid there emotions from the world and it angered him a bit that people could be appalled by that. This wasn´t the stone age for gods sake. He sighed.   
“I was twenty five.”  
Richard said, hands going around Lees waist and stroking patterns after he put his glass down.  
“Huh?”  
Okay, so he wasn´t really prepared for that change in conversation, but hey – he blamed it on the lack of coffee he drank.   
“When I last played that guitar, I was twenty five and had all these dreams of becoming a rock star. Hell, I was wasted the whole year I was trying to archive that.”  
Lee couldn´t help the small laugh escaping him at that but said nothing more.   
“I took that pretty seriously – much to my poor mothers worries. And you know her.”  
Yes, Lee did but he didn´t want to interrupt Richard if he wanted to get out and off whatever was still lodged in him.   
“So one of these days, my band and me played at this really shit hole of a bar and some drunken wanker yells something at me, don´t really remember what it was, exactly and I just ..flipped. Beat him half to death with the guitar. Thank god he had a hard skull, the tosser.”  
Lee hadn´t let go of Richard, just pulled him closer and whispered into his ear.  
“That was long ago, Rich. I don´t think you are that person anymore , not by a long shot but if that guitar reminds you of something like that, we´ll throw it out, and if you don´t want those pictures to be published, we just keep them to ourselves. Now, if you excuse me. I am going to take a shower and head to the shop, oversee things a little and prove that I am not a control freak or something like that.”  
He grinned, hoping to lift Richards spirits a bit. Richard smiled a bit at that and exchanged an almost chaste kiss with Lee.   
When Lee came back a few hours later , tired and a little on edge because a whole group of children had all but run amok through the store in search for school books and the newest teenage -slash- romance – novel, he frowned a little because, tired as he was, he heard something drift down from the attic. Slowly but surely he made his way up the stairs and froze. Richard was sitting cross legged on the floor, a glass of wine next to him, long elegant fingers plucking guitar strings. Granted, the guitar was old and had been patched up in some places , but still – the image warmed something in his heart.   
“Hey.”  
Lee offered softly, sinking down beside the older man who only then looked up , a slight blush on his face. He wanted to put the instrument away but Lee stopped him gently.   
“Play for me?”  
Richard said nothing but played on, concentrating on doing something he had almost forgotten to do before he finally looked up.   
“Aidan thinks he´s gonna sell those pictures to OUT Magazine. As a cover story to go along with an interview – you know , a how we´ve met story and all that.”  
He said almost too quietly but Lee just shuffled closer and put his head on Richards shoulder, interlacing their fingers.  
“That sounds lovely. “  
Richard nodded and grinned, pressing a kiss to Lees temple, silently vowing to get that guitar fixed, going for his glass of wine but coming up with nothing but air. The reason for that was clear, the way Lee grinned and drank the rest in a large gulp. Richard pulled a face.  
“Come on, no more brooding.”  
He teased and all the while downstairs Richard muttered something about manners.


	74. Attic Clean Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee likes to be prepared for Halloween,Richard doesn´t really understand and why is Lee wearing that. Damn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello :D So , we almost reached the 100k (and wow o.o) To celebrate that, there is naturally smut (Which I blame partly on lee and Chickens and a lovely denim shirt that first was buttoned and then wasn´t. If you think -what the hell is she talking about ? I am talking about the selfies Lee posted on Weibo , holding chickens and I noticed that the shirt - well - got untucked and then my imagination got a little carried away and maybe I will write something sometime that fits my train of thought on that matter) Right now, however - Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos and love I have to date received for this story and I hope you will enjoy it as it grows a little more :)

Lee is grinning from ear to ear, a knife in his hand and eyes twinkling with mischief.  
“You know, from now on I will seriously flee the country if you get anymore of this..this.. whatever it is.”  
He says and holds up another paper skeleton with a sigh. He doesn´t want to be a spoilsport but to a point he is and so he bites back the comment that no skeleton comes in pink and certainly not with a bow on top. Lee, rummaging through a box of foam bats, whistles.  
“You weren´t really kidding when you said you loved Halloween, were you?”  
Lee pauses when he cuts himself on something, sucking his thumb into his mouth.  
“Hrm? Naw.”  
He garbles out and suckles on his sore thumb some more. Richard clears his throat and Lee flushes a bit.  
“What?”  
Lee says, innocently and yet not because he has that cheeky glint in his eyes that makes Richard take a step closer yet, ignoring the plastic Jack-O-Lantern in his way when he rounds it and Lee grins wider, thumb still in his mouth.  
“You don´t think I did this on purpose, did you?”  
The Brit said, gesturing at his thumb and Lee managed a pout, lower lip stuck out in a rather obscene manner, if anyone asked Richard who just shook his head to get rid of the sudden haze he felt.  
“You would never do that, I am sure. As you would never wear something like that.”  
He congratulated himself to his steady voice as he yet again gave Lee the Once over. There wasn´t anything in that outfit that remotely screamed that it wasn´t picked out on purpose, because – really -it was. The top three buttons on the ratty denim shirt had been undone, leaving Richard to stare at skin sprinkled with hair here and there. There was a slight sheen of sweat, due to the whole unpacking and moving stuff around and Richard sometimes wondered if one of these days they would have to buy a bigger house – but the thought was fleeting as Lee had closed the gab between them while he was thinking all those idiotic things.  
“Something like what?”  
Licking his lips Richard leaned in impossibly closer, which was a bad idea if they wanted to get something done. He could see it in Lees eyes that his train of thought wasn´t really on Halloween decorations but would be the last to blame him.  
“Something like that.”  
Richard only repeated with a patience that surprised him before loosening the next few buttons on Lees shirt. A sigh from slightly above his head made him grin but the hand in his hair made him look up.  
“Really, we should concentrate on sorting things up here and I really can´t find those costumes I got for us.”  
Richards eye began to twitch.  
“Excuse me?”  
It felt like someone had emptied an bucket of ice water over him but Lee merely sighed again and turned around before chuckling, seemingly unaffected going back to the task at hand  
“You sound a little tense, babe. There a reason for that?”  
_Tease_ Richard thought before he all but stalked towards Lee, pulling him flush against his back. He knew that Lee on his part also knew exactly what he was doing because those jeans were riding a little low on his hips. Not that Richard terribly minded.  
“Must be my Halloween spirit acting up and all that. Never mind.”  
Two could play that game, he decided, although it got a lot harder in the last three minutes. Yet again, he felt like a teenager or trapped in a romantic comedy. He grimaced at the prospect that he was actually doing one in a month, blissfully in New York and Los Angeles, but still. He feels a little uneasy about the project because he never really was cast as the romantic type. Lee uses his distraction to step away again, bowing down over brightly colored boxes Richard doesn´t give a damn about. Those jeans however. Christ.  
“Baby?”  
Romance, right. Lee stands not close enough for his liking so Richard advances until Lee sits down on a creaky wooden chair they had moved up there god knew when. Maybe it wasn´t so silly to sort all that stuff out at least but that had time.  
“Think are you clever, don´t you, love?”  
Lee just purses his lips, going for tragedy when he puts a hand over his heart and sighs dramatically, batting his eyelashes to top it off. Richard likes that playfulness of his, even if he sometimes drives him insane. Like today. Lee just licks his lips, wiping none existent sweat from his brow.  
“As a matter of fact I do. It took a lot of planning to get the mess you called an attic cleaned up. Really, it was hard work.”  
Lee knows it sounds a little like bad porn and as soon as it is out of his mouth his eyes crinkle at the corner because he has to laugh about the images that flash through his mind and the cheesy music he hears playing in his head. Wiping his forehead again he frowns because he hadn´t been kidding about the attic being a mess and with all the stuff he ordered for Halloween it just had gotten a bit more complicated to find things and of course nothing had been labeled properly. A fact that had made him snarl, even if he would have never admitted to that. With a sigh he looked at his thumb, hissing as he felt but rather saw the thin red line there. God, he hated paper cuts.  
Richard had gone very quiet, a flush on his cheeks and Lee just looked up. He could imagine where this was going but nothing really prepared him for Richard straddling him and breathing hotly into his neck.  
“If you make one joke about hard work or mention the Village People, I am going to stand up and leave.”  
He says darkly and licks Lees fingers, not even leaving the sore thumb out of it. Lees mind goes blank but he moans as hands shove down his jeans until they are around his ankles. Rather roughly his shorts get the same treatment and they both know it isn´t ideal but Lee tries his best, face red and shining with sweat, One hand working behind Richard who had managed to push down his slacks without Lee realizing it but hell, he was grateful for that.  
“Tell me.. if ..it hurts.”  
He presses out, because Richards hand, the one not fisting the fabric of his shirt by his shoulder is doing things to him that make it not really easy to get out words making sense.  
“I swear to god, it will if you don´t start shagging me soon.”  
Richard mutters with a well placed squeeze of his hand on the younger man as Lee has three fingers in and moans loudly and by god Lee is only human. The sounds of his fingers sliding out and them finally connecting are nothing but filthy and he files them away for a night he may be alone and Richard on a project but he doesn´t think of that right now, burying his face in Richards neck and moving. Slowly, gently at first – the chair beneath him gives a warning creak but he ignores it, goes faster as Richard squeezes down and loses it as Richard actually bites him. When he comes to, Richard is chuckling and he frowns and looks down.  
“The shirt had it coming?”  
Lee grins cheekily and Richard groans at the bad pun before wincing slightly after moving off and away, trying to pull his slacks up and giving up because who else is in the house but Carl? And the dog has seen more of his backside than would be polite. Yeah, he was losing it he thought with another chuckle, looking over his shoulder towards where Lee is distinctly wiping at his upper body with the ruined shirt.  
“Shower?”

Richard suggests and Lee gives him that smile again ,the one that tells the older man that there will be another one of those bad puns Lee loved to holler out in the world , no doubt loving the way it irked Richard. Still, he had to smile when Lee opened his mouth and in his best Frank ´n Further impression pursed his lips and said .  
“Coming.”  
And all but danced past him down the stairs towards the bathroom and Richard mumbled something that sounded a lot like _not yet_ .


	75. All of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard gets an interesting script and worries. Lee helps him overcome them and they both get a few news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally 100k (Hehe yeah) As I said before , thank you so much for all the support this far and I hope you still enjoy this story. There are a few points that still need and will be worked out, so stay tuned :D

The next day Lee wakes to an empty bed and wonders where Richard could be until he hears the tea cattle in the kitchen. A smile tugs at his lips and he stretches, pleasently surprised by his aching muscles. With a sigh he sits up and contemplates if he could tempt Richard with a quick yoga routine but he just yawns and decides against it. And because he is still a bit sore, he admits quietly to himself, so he takes his time in the morning routine, stretches again and finally joins Richard in the kitchen. He loves to watch Richard like that, immersed in a script or book and the reading glasses perched on top of his head. Lee uses the oppoturnity to steal a bagel, fully using to his advantage that Richard sits cross legged and thus can't move as fast as he likes.  
"Hey! I was gonna eat that."  
Lee just shrugs and on a childish impulse stuffs his face with it, chewing. Richard just blinks, stone faced and without really looking at Lee  
"Manners. Where are your manners?"  
He softly chides and Lee only grins more broadly as he imagines all the replies buzzing through his head, peeking at the script Richard is studying.  
"A romantic comedy?"  
Richard can imagine why Lee would be surprised. At Grahams first mention of something like that he had laughed so hard that Graham in turn had worried he might have been drunk. He had been sober, really stone cold sober. Using his distraction Lee snags the page he has in his hand from him and reads it over, wondering for a moment why Richards ears are bright pink and his eyes soley fixed on the tea in front of him.  
"Sounds like fun."  
He says after a moment with a smile on his face, settling down opposite Richard, buttering a toast after handing back the page he had read only a moment before. Richard still looks like he wants to say something but doesn't quite know how to put it in words. Lee has a feelimg what it is about as Richard stands and bustles around the kitchen, looking for the pack of cigarettws he denies having hidden there. Wordlessly, Lee stands, opens the top drawer of the cuboard where the dishes are and moves them aside until he can feel the edges of the small pack and tugs until it falls into his palm. Richard watches on rapt attention amd with a little shame at having been caught.  
"Found the Ones in the flower pot too?"  
Richard hedges and Lee nods but hands him the cigarettes anyways despite him not liking that the other man smokes. They had talked about it once but had also come to the conclusion that it would be silly (and friuitless) trying to put an end to old habits with force.  
"Yup. And the pack in the bedroon, next to the condoms."  
Richard presses something out that sounds like _eek_ and that Lee finds so incredibly charming that he nearly forgets what he wanted to ask Richarad until his eyes dart to the innocent looking papers on the kitchen table that had caused his fiance to flush in the first place. No, he thinks. It was more the fact he had been able to read something Richard seemingly didb't feel conmfortable with. Still, he wants Richard to come out with it, gives him time. He also knows by the way Richard squares his shoulders while lighting up the cigarette that there is already more than one thought running through Richards head. Richard, he has learned, is a man thatvdespite them having come out and beimg realky open about their relationship values his privacy more than anything. He never talks about his family to the media, never denies or confirms questions about the actual date for the wedding or if there realky will be a boy in their home, making them a family in a sense. Richard opens a window, presses his head against the cool glass.  
"You worried?"  
Lee asks once he can't take it any longer.  
"About my career? Or this?"  
He points to the script again, knows that Richard behaves the way he does because there are Sex Scenes in there and to top it with another man. It makes him tear up with pride that Richard is so worried about all that.  
"Bloody hell, how I am supposed to look at the guy and not..not feel guilty."  
It hits Lee like a fright train, settles deep in his bones. So this about _him_? He wants to laugh because he had thought into a whole other direction if he were honest.  
"It's your job. I promise I won't be jealous. Much"  
He tries for a teasing tone as he steps up behind Richard, hugging him. Richard turns around and presses a kiss to Lees lips. He tastes faintly of smoke but Lee ignores it, places his hands on Richards waist but steps after a moment.  
"I know it's silly but I don't..."  
The actor stops himself but Lee kisses him again and promises that he will visit Richard on set as often as possible. Stroking over Richards sides and tickling him in the process, making him squeal and Lee chuckles, kissing Richards ear.  
"Babe, I am gonna fend those wanting your hot ass off with a shovel. After I had a word with your mum."  
Richard just raises an eyebrow and that makes Lee blush a little but the slightly sour mood Richard had been in is gone and he even has stopped smoking, which Lee counts as success.  
Soon after that and having wolved down another bagel Lee is off to the bookszore and all but falls over when Richard calls him about two hours later while he is wrapping up a special order.  
"Hey."  
He says and Martin gives him a look, concerned. He smiles a little at that and puts Richard on speaker once they are in the backroom.  
"Did you hear the news?"  
The way Richards voice sounds makes Lee shiver and Martin pause in the doorway. He has the feeling he is needed beside Lee for the moment and puts up the sign that he will be back in twenty minutes. Lee is thankful for that, because this isn't about the script, thankfully not about James either who will join them next week and stay for the holidays and is well exicited about them.  
"They can't be serious."  
Lee says flatly as Richard tells him that they will go for life, meaning more than ten years because Roger, poor innocent Roger had pulled the trigger six times. Lee rakes a hand through his hair, closes his eyes for a moment and Richard does very much the same.  
"Babe, I love you, you know that, right?"  
He feels the need to point it out and Richard replies without hesitation. When he hangs up Martin gives him a look and shoves a pile of mail at him.  
"If you're done moping, answer your mail. Will you?"  
He smiles at Martin, thankful for the distraction. He knows he can count on Martin and he also knows that Richard and him will not let themselves be pulled under by anything, be it a movie script or the sad ending of a relationship. Not anymore. When he comes home that night he smiles fondly, seeing Richard asleep on the couch, script dangling loosely from his fingers, glasses askew on his nose. Instead of waking Richard he toes off his shoes and slides in behind Richard. Yeah, this feels right and come what may, they will make it through.


	76. Of Arrivals  and Costumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is drawing nearer as is James visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally the little family is reunited for the holiday season (which starts a bit early here but hey, this is fiction ;)) Hope you all have a lovely weekend and enjoy it.

Some things would never change Richard muses, stoicly ignoring microphones shoved into his face while Lee waits on the sidelines. They want to know many things but most of them revolve around the whole mess with Roger who, after long and cruel days is sentenced to two years on probation because someone came forward on his behalf. Someone who actually saw. Thank god for small miracles, he thinks, blinking up at the board with ever changing numbers and letters to see if the flight James is on will arrive soon. There is a warm hand in the small of his back suddenly and he is a little surprised that Lee us suddenly beside him, but it is a pleasant surprise to know that Lee can finally accept all that comes with his job. Yeah he has come a long way from the man fainting in his arms that first time. The grin spreading over his face is more due to that fact as to some cheeky reporter asking them who will be wearing the dress on the wedding day. Lee is unfazed, freed by some magic Richard doesn't question and really doesn't want to.  
"Well."  
Lee all but purrs, wriggling his eyebrows.  
"I do have the legs for it, but really we haven't decided yet."  
It is enough to shut them up and Richard chuckles slightly, eyes twinkling.  
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my Lee?"  
He asks, only half joking and Lee titters.  
"Nothing. I just had a little talk with myself and after being bombarded with tabloid bullshit, I decided the best way is to be a bit more open about some things to make them stop for a while. And.. it is nearly Halloween."  
He gives a little bounce and Richard groans. He had almost forgotten. He had, in a weak moment - promised, that as soon as James would be with them again, at least to try on the horrible costume that had been picked out for him. There had been a lot of bribing on Lees part. A lot of kissing anyway, if that counted as bribe.  
"I can't take that back, weasel my way out of it, mayhaps?"   
He asks Lee when they have made it through the crowd and await James arrival. Thank god his grandmother won't come with him. They have arranged it better this time but still Richard is thrumming with restrained energy and he is thankful that Lee is there to ground him. They see the boy at once as he is brought through customs by a crew member, shrieking and arms flailing.  
"Dad!Lee!"  
Richard forces back the sob that threatens to rise in his throat and picks the boy up from the warmly smiling Steward.  
"Hello Pumpkin."  
He says only slightly wobbly and hears Lee laugh beside them when the boy scrunches up his nose, ruffling James hair.  
"Did you have a good flight?"  
Lee asks softly while they get his luggage. He admires the way children are always so energetic. The little body twists in Richards arms and grins tootily at Lee while nodding.  
"Are you going to dress up as Cowboy?"  
He asks excited, full of energy and Richard has to laugh because the way Lee flushes and stammers that he already has another wonderful costume. He grins even broader when James pouts and yawns heartily, the flight finally catching up with him.   
"Oh hush, you don't need to pout. You will love our party, there will be tons of people you know. Maybe there is a cowboy there as well. "   
He says and smiles. By the time they are home and have called the boys grandmother, he is fast asleep.   
"You know, I would love to see you as a cowboy one of these days."  
Richard whispers and Lee swats the hand away from his rear, shaking his head.  
"Behave or I won't even consider that, Babe."  
Richard pauses mid step in the hallway, James securely tucked at his side.   
"That means you did consider it or would."  
Richard says matter of fact making Lee flush and mutter something again that in turn makes Richard giggle and rouse James from his sleep.  
Lee is a little on edge right now and Richard knows exactly why. They have spent a lot of time preparing a room for James with actual furniture for children and books and there are also some toys. He watches as Richard sets the child down who isn't sleepy anymore and zooms around the room inspecting every corner before whirling around and staring up at them both. He heas to crane his neck up to look into Lees face and giggles a bit as he is lifted again.  
"It's a very nice room. Whose is it? Do they want it back?"  
That makes Lee stare a little helpless at Richard who takes over smoothly and explains that this would be James room and be could do there whatever he liked. The boy beams so much at him that he feels his emotions close to the surface again and he quickly wipes his eyes with his sleeve, grateful that Lee stirs James to the bed that looks like a racing car, a thing heJames had exitedly gushed about over the phone and they had decided to add that.  
"Try and get a little sleep , yes? "  
Lee knows that James wants to protest and argue that he isn't tired at all but they all know better and so Lee busies himself with helping James change and brushing his teeth. It is easy, seems all domestic and normal, the way Richard unpacks the clothes and folds them into the wardrobe. He pauses when Lee comes into the room, yet again carrying the child.  
"You know, you can spare hitting the weights when this continues."  
He teases and Lee chuckles, shaking his head.  
"You try to distract me but you won't get out of it. It was a promise and a promise needs to be kept. No matter what. "  
Damn. Richard curses again , even it is halfheartily but heis true to his promise and tries on the costume because James, after having slept enough to be energetic as ever, really wants to see. He underlines that sentiment all but bounching around Lee and if that wouldn't be bad enough Carl seems to just as excited as the humans around him.  
"Cool."  
James breathes in awe and just then Richard quietly admits that it isn't all bad. Not bad at all.


	77. Halloween Bash 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, Halloween :) Lee loves it, Richard doesn't know what to expect and why on earth is there never enough candy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello , hello. Just like the cruise , Halloween might be a slightly longer affair but do not fear we will progress ;) I just love to play around . Have a wonderful Sunday. Also as a side note, I edited the tags a bit.

The days until Halloween pass quickly and are filled with laughter and joy, plus a few nights where they don't get any sleep at all because James has a toothache that keeps the poor lad up until the wee hours of the morning, and in turn Richard and Lee. It gets better quickly after they have convinced him that the dentist isn't all that bad and a lot of hand holding - a triumph of sorts. Lee can't really blame him, because he remembers very well how scared he was of the dentist as a child. James comes up to him in the bath while he shaves and Richard is on a movie set only an hour away one of these days and demands - albeit very politely - to be taken there. Maybe there will be cowboys, he muses and Lee laughs at the memory and the happiness that flittered across Richards face when he saw them , a complete but welcome surprise. Richard isn't this happy now, cursing under his breath while Lee grins and tries to apply finishing touches to James costume. He is the cutest little Wolverine he ever laid eyes on but of course he doesn't tell him that and merrily paints on a few dots that hopefully look like a beard once he is finished with his task.  
"You know, you are lucky, yours washes off and it will take a few years until you will need to shave."  
He gently teases and winks at James who tries out a few poses in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to look somewhat scary but just manages only cute in Lees opinion. He chuckles, following the muttered curses in search for Richard, finding him on the bed, trying to wriggle into the Batman costume. It isn't really working from the sounds of it and Lee chuckles as Richard flops down on the bed , sweating. Lee tries to hold in the laughter he feels bubble in his throat and manages barely to do so. To be fair, the costume pants are a pain to put on because he hadn't bought them in a store, no he did have them custom made and the only reason he hadn't told Richard that tidbit of information was because he hadn't wanted to cause Richard a stroke about the price. Until now Richard had only tried on the masj for James benefit but not the complete outfit.  
"How's my dark knight doing?"  
Lee t eased from the bedroom door, not shrinking away as Richard glowered at him. Richard on his part still couldn't believe that he was agreeing to everything of that. Well he could see how he had been wrapped around a finger but still.  
"Thinking of commiting a bloody murder."  
Richard groused once the pants were finally on and sent a thanks to the heavens that while filming there always were people helping him get dressed. Lee smiled behind his mask. The first of their guests would arrive soon. They had decided against Richard sighning things at the bookstore because they wanted to spend as much time as possible together with James and one another. Also Lee had declined, after giving it much more thought than he would like, to star in the ad campaign alongside Richard, because he didn't want to put a price tag on their relationship. He had phrased it with _I would feel like a car for rent_ .Richard had laughed fIve minutes straight as he watched closely how Graham reacted. He hadn't been thrilled but he had accepted that and he also would come to their Halloween Party. As would many others. There was a whole list of people and much to Richards horror, there was a theme. He had heard that weddings could have a theme, but this? He shook his head again and blamed it on Lee.  
Appearently the younger man hadn't been kidding when he had told Richard that he tended to go a little over board in decorating for Halloween. The whole house was decorated, Jack O lanterns, bats dangling from the ceiling beams and lamps, snacks that looked like body parts and - he still couldn't believe it - there was a theme. Sitting up, he stared at the invitation again.  
"Superheroes and Villians."  
It red, artfully put together by Lee in Photoshop while Richard had pretended not to stare. It was a bit new to him but he decided to play along . Maybe it would be fun. Stretching, Richard glanced at Lee and grinned.  
"You look..giddy. I mean I can't blame you, you know."  
He turned and wriggled his ass a bit for effect when he heard a retching sound.  
"Dad! Batman doesn't do that."  
He was glad he already put on the mask or else he would have been caught with a blush that reached down to his navel - or so Lee had told him. Giving James a stern look he dared to explain to him what Batman would do and Lee waited with baited breath, a little giddy.  
"Well, see - he runs around Gotham, drives fancy cars, snogs catwoman." It was amazing how fast children grew up and learned such things , he mused but let James continue. "Jumps off buildings and has a lot of toys. Oh and a cave."  
Lee pressed his lips together at Richards flabbergasted look before ushering them downstairs. They had moved the furniture aside which made Richard curse his taste in fancy but heavy things. It had taken half a day to rearrange everything to Lees liking. Lee would have made an awesome arty planner if he would have liked and Richard wouldn't put it past him to go berserk on the guy who dared placing the snacks in the wrong place. A thought that made him smirk and also terrified him for a moment before he turned back to James, who by now was done explaining.  
"Sorry to say I don't do any of that pumpkin."  
He retorted softly. James just shrugged, trudgeging alongside them until they .had reached the front door. "Doesn't matter though, you got Lee." It was a comment withouty any thought but it still warmed Richards heart and he cast a glance at Lee who just smiled and gave Richard a peck on the cheek. The first ring of the doorbell makes Lee jump a little, moving into the kitchen for the candy bowl. There are witches and ghosts at the door and even Richard has to smile a little when a bunch of Hobbits squeals over the generous amounts of candy Lee pours them into baskets and hands.  
By the time their first guests arrive the Candy is all but gone and Lee looks a little as if he contemplates buying more. Richard just throws him a look.  
He assigned himself doorman, leaving Lee to fret a little over the decorations, running around the house, James hot on his heels. A few words reached his ears, confirming that both of them were indeed putting finishing touches to whatever it was that Lee felt needed to be corrected. The doorbell rang and he sighed before opening it, feeling nervous.  
"Well, lets get this party started."  
He muttered to himself.


	78. Halloween Bash 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Party goes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist some comic references (because I love love loove those movies ) and I hope you enjoy it

The first thing Richard sees upon opening the door is green. It takes him a moment zo recognize Luke, who had gone out of his way to look like The Joker from Batman. He gives Richard a toothy grin, who would have replied something if it hadn't been for his eyes straying to the person besides him. Well, it is Simon, on a closer look, dressed as Harley Quinn, fake breasts and all, wondering if they are all into this much more than him or if they do it simply for Lee whose eyes sparkle everytime he sees a kid running up to their front door in hopes of getting candy.   
"Are you gonna let us in or are you calling the police on us?"  
Luke asks with a twinkle and turns to Simon who simply rolls his eyes and slinks past Richard to give Lee an enthusiastic hug. Richard just blinks.  
"A bit much for you is it?"  
Luke asks quietly while Lee and Simon fiddle with the stereo, trying to set it up for later.   
"Well, yeah. I mean, it's a bit frightening if you are new to all of this."  
He should have kept his mouth shut, because there was something evil glinting in Lukes eyes when he mentions this and nearly misses Martin, who is dressed as Riddler, hat and Cane and all, his wife a charmingly Catwoman by his side, character thrown by her warm smike as she hugs Richard on the way in, cooing over James, who states that she can't snog his dad because that is what Lee does. Lee nearly drops the bowl of hot punch he is carrying. Luke jusz smirks, looking fondly at the boy and waving towards Lee who manages to blush a very pretty red under his mask, making Richard chuckle despite the overwhelming feelings racing through his body. He lets Lee pour him a glass and smirks as Simon comes over to them on his heels, sighing.  
"Remind me again, why the Superhero theme?"  
He mutters, licking his lips an feigning hurt feet but in Reality just feeling a little out of his dept, which Luke notices and places a hand in the small of Simons back. The doorbell rings again so Richard doesn't hear Lees reponse, watching out of his sight as Martin says something that has Lee covering James ears and him making a mental note to store the Whiskey away for later when the boy is asleep.  
"My, my. Batman suits you Armitage. At least he doesn't need to swim, am I right?"  
Danny gently teases and wheels in, a man beside him that is dressed in purple and wears a silly helmet but otherwise is polite and tells him that he is glad that he had been invited to tag along . Danny just grins broadly, eyes landing on James, who is on the mission to secure all the candy he can carry.  
"Aww, look - another X Men."  
James squeals in delight and runs around Danny for a bit, inspecting his wheelchair. Danny is patient enough to tell him that this would be his own and not for costume purposes to be Professor X to his partners Magneto but James just shrugged and said it would be alright. Kids.  
He manages to hunt Lee down just in time before Graham arrives, dressed as Hulk. He stares at Graham , then towards Lee and opens his mouth, because Graham is green, literally green and wears shorts. He had joked with Lee about what Graham would dress up and he had bet on it that Graham wouldn't do something childishly like that. He also spies Aidan and Dean dressed up as Thor and Loki. Now he owned Lee a favour and he silently cursed and gaped a bit. Lee calmly came up beside him.  
"They got to you, too. Unbelieveable."  
Lee just giggled and looked at Graham, a warm smile on his face.  
"Hey. Thanks for coming and taking part in the madness."  
Graham just stared at him.  
"He said there will be food. Otherwise I want my dignity back and a normal outfit to go with it."  
Lee laughed, a bit surprised at the one armed hug but accepting it none the less, handing Graham a beer and motioning his other two guests inside. Aidan grinned, swishing his emerald green cape behind him, making Dean in turn roll his eyes and swing his hammer.  
"Move, brother mine."  
Aidan grimaced at the pun and mumbled how laughable it would be if anyone mistook them for brothers and stole a non brotherly kiss from Dean and grinned. They all love James instantly and James is excited about the costumes, there are camera flashes and Richard laughs heartily at all the poses Lee strikes, and demands to see them. It is well past ten in the evening when they help James out of his costume and Richard draws him a bath, wraps him in a fluffy towel and puts him in bed after having helped into pyjamas. His room is enough far away to not be woken by the party. Lee corners him in the hallway.  
"Hey, everything alright?"  
Richard smiles at him from under his mask, pulls him into a long soul searching kiss.  
"Yeah. I don't like the look Luke gave me when I told him that this is kind of a first for me."  
Lee smirked, suddenly much more alert than Richard would have liked.  
"What?"  
He asked hesitantly and a bit weary. He had the dim feeling that he missed out on something and couldn't quite place his finger on it.   
"Oh , you shouldn't have told him that."  
Richard got that. He just didn't know why he felt a bit uneasy about it but Lee didn't budge and didn't tell him anything, instead making sure that James was asleep before they went downstairs again.  
Luke grinned at them, holding a microphone which was plucked into the stereo. Richard began to fear for his life all of a sudden and felt the rather childish urge to hide behind Lee for a moment when Luke cleared his throat.   
"Ladies and Gentlemen,those of you attending this festivity for the first time may bot know it, but there is a ritual here."  
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lee gloat and nod. He was sure he would regret asking it but he turned towards Martin, who wore the same expression as Lee, only a lot more gleeful. Richard swallowed.  
"Now, this is a fine tradtion, invented by the Master of this house and me, back in the day."  
In something very close to awe Richard watches the way Lee peels out of the shadows and goes straight to stand beside the stereo , taking the microphone from Luke, taps it and speaks.  
"First of all, thank you all for coming. It means a lot to us . And really, this house needed a good loud party that angers the neighbours - or is at least heard."   
There is roaring laughter in the crowd of fifty people, friends and neihbours from around and people Richard has only ever heard of like Jenny, who is dressed like Wonder Woman but can drink like Al Capone. She was also the One telling Richard about they did have a roman empire themed party. He has to ask Lee for the pictures of that because he thinks he deserves to see them , and no, he doesn't sound like a petulant child and shakes his head as Lee beckons him and Graham towards him.  
"Now, to the fun part."  
Richard feels all eyes on him and he should feel less nervous but there is more to it, he knows. He is just glad that they have locked up the upper level of the house, having told James before they finally put him into bed that if he needed to use the toilet he could use the one there and James was a wonderful little boy, who actually listened to the things he was told. So he was left to worry only about what exactly the fun part would be.  
"Tonight, it has to come to my attention that we have not only One but Two, and I stress this - two Halloween virgins."  
There are actual wolf whistles in the crowdvnow and Graham is pulled up, alongside Richard with Lee in the middle and all of a sudden this feels like a game show of sorts.  
"And that also means, Jenny dear, do yo mind coming up here?"  
Jenny does, holding up two bottles of Vodka, a tray of shot glasses and wearing a very very unnerving smirk. She celebrates a bit thatthere is an audience and sets everything up.   
"Now, drink up - the first One that finishes is a worthy Halloween participant. Or something like that. Oh and there is a price."  
He wriggles his eyebrows and Graham wipes his hand on his pants, signaling that Richard is going down. The thrill of wanting to win races up Richards spine at those words, not that he cares for the pumpkin pie that is there to win. Until the sixth shot they are head to head but then his eyes wander to Lee who moves his hips in a way that makes him choke and so Graham wins.   
"Told you !"   
He hollers and the crowd goes wild, including Lee. It is that which makes Richard down the next shot and stalk over to Lee.  
"Oh no, help me!"  
He squeaks, belying his costume and hiding behind Luke, ignoring Danny who boxes him in.   
"Traitor!" He whispers and gasps when Richard hoists him over his shoulder, kicking at the air behind him. Danny gleefully takes pictures of it until Richard sets Lee down and strokes hia cheek. Graham makes lovely retching noises in the background while eating pie but is eager to join when Dean and Aidan suggest a round of spin the bottle.   
In the midst of it all Martin tugs Lee away and stares at him.  
"Hrm?"  
Lee says and Martin jumps up and hugs him until he can't breath, telling him how happy he is that Lee is happy and everyone is happy. He is shortly thereafter dragged away but not after giving Lee a sloppy kiss on the cheek which Danny also gleefully documents. Lee hardly notices because he is dragged into the spin the bottle madness and stares wide eyed as the bottle lands on Simon, who says nothing but gives him a kiss that makes him flail his arms and the other man snicker. Luke gently pries Simon away who simply giggles at a glowering Richard and gives him the same threatment.  
It is close to four in the morning when the last guests are huddled into cabs and waved off. Lee is so tired by then that Richard half carries him up the stairs where they change and take a quick shower before falling face first into bed.   
The alarm is their enemy. Richard knows that fron his pounding head and groans. There is a glass of water on the nightstand alongside two pills he gladly shwallows before he trudges down the stairs in his boxers, hair sticking up at odd angles. He doesn't even want to _know_ how the living room looks or how much time it will take to clean that all up as he flops down next to James in the kitchen. Lee is dressed in a fluffy bathrobe and whistling.  
"Morning sunshine."  
He grins sunnily and serves breakfast for them all. There could be worse things than an hangover, he muses while devouring his eggs.


	79. Draw your swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those things, they never got away, did they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on we go :D I hope you forgive me for bringing up a bit drama, but I really, really need to add that sometimes <3 Anyways, thank you so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos <3 That means so much to me (and I know I repeat myself, but I just feel the need to do so.)

James looks at them both for a while, eyes expecting and bright, not really understanding why he has to be dressed in his finest clothes the week after Halloween to visit Luke and Simon. Further he was a bit irritated that Luke didn´t sport green hair anymore once they walked through the doors of the other mans office.   
Lee felt nervous and Richard, well Richard felt like he was about to vomit himself but had donned a mask that suggested calmness. Simon had called them and given the impression that it was urgent and concerned James – which was all he needed to hear before he told Lee as much and they were on their way – well, they were late because Lee had gently reminded him that while they had to put a move on, James couldn´t well go in his sleepwear. Richard had blushed but in the end he had agreed.   
“Hello.”  
Luke greeted with a blinding smile, ruffling James hair and earning a glare from Lee , who had managed to tame the blonde strands and had been proud in finally doing so.  
“What?”  
Lee huffed out a breath but dismissed it so Luke looked at Richard who bit back a smile.   
“Nothing, you just ruined his work, is all. Care to tell us why you summoned us? And James here?”   
Luke offered them a seat and sighed a little, making Lee and Richard look at each other in unease. Lee had never liked that look on Luke that spelled not only trouble but had always had the potential to ruin a perfectly good day. Even more so when Simon walked in. They shared a office now, Simon thinking of it being more practical and Luke just agreeing because Simon was able to keep his office clean - so he did draw a benefit from it.   
“Ah you made it, just half an hour late.”   
Simon also was sarcastic but neither of them blamed him, seeing as time in his line of work was money.   
“Who are you?”  
James frowned, drawing all attention to himself. Right, he hadn´t really seen Simon apart from Halloween and to be fair, he didn´t look like much Harley Quinn in real life. A thought that made Richard smirk but he quickly turned serious eyes on Simon after he introduced himself to James very formally and promised to explain everything later. He was a patient man and the way he wasn´t right then made Lee look at Richard in alarm.   
“As you know, I had - well, pleasant and non pleasant talks with the lawyer representing the Andrews Party.”  
Richard nodded, eyes fixed on James who grew a little restless because he was just a kid and couldn´t well understand what they were talking about, so Luke offered to take him around the corner to the ice cream parlor and Richard was grateful for that. Lee was pale and his lips were drawn into a tight line that was far from the smile he normally bestowed on people but Richard couldn´t blame him.  
“She wants what?”  
Richard stared at Simon as if he had grown a second head and horns , but Simon just sat there and sighed, patience wearing thin.   
“She has no problem signing the adoption papers if you are willing to draw up a marriage contract that reassures that her grandson will be provided for. Also, she wants to oversee how he is settling in over the next months.”   
Richard grit his teeth, knowing full well that all of this wasn´t in the slightest bit about James but about a woman who had made it her mission to make their lives hell. Sure, Richard understood that, had known for years how the woman was engineered but it still stung that she would sink that low without the slightest regret.   
“What that does mean? Tell me she doesn´t want to come over and stay, please. Anything but that.”  
Lee said softly, short of whining but Richard couldn´t really blame him. Simon just shook his head.  
“She wants to visit, made a few suggestions for dates – if you would agree. I already told them in advance that the marriage contract clause is ridiculous and won´t stand a chance in court, so they might reconsider that but who knows. I just wanted to let you know, so you can prepare and don´t think I am not doing anything on your behalf.”  
His eyes shifted towards Lee.   
“Or that I feel inclined to do so because Luke has a very soft spot for Lee.”  
Richard knew what Simon was playing it but he was also smart enough to know not to address it further because he knew that the feeling between the other two men were genuine, if only he was surprised that they had gotten married before them but he jotted it down to just their luck and them being, well them.   
“I will draw something up. And yes I could have told you that over the phone but I wanted to talk to you in person. The boy is very attached to you – both of you. You know what I am getting at, right?”  
Richard closed his eyes. He knew exactly what Simon was getting it- There wasn´t any indication that he could not get it. Lee took a long, shuddering breath that signaled he was on the edge of tears. Not because he was sad but because he was furious. Richard grabbed his hand and stroked it, hoping he could keep it together for both of their sakes.   
“I know it isn´t fair but nothing in the world is. All I am saying is that we have a chance to win this, but I am also saying that you should think long and hard about this. Not because you are both men, not because you are famous and get dragged through every mud puddle available - I am saying this as someone who came to care for you both, much more than I should on a professional basis. “  
They knew Simon had a point. With nothing much more to say they bid their goodbyes and collected James from Luke who had bribed his way into the little boys heart with the largest ice cream cones that Lee had ever seen. For the first time in god knew how long he wished for his father to be there and tell him everything would be fine, the way he had done so many times in the past.


	80. A walk in the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness is on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after the drama, there follows a bit of fluff and silliness :D

There are many things Lee regrets and maybe the most present One is that he wishes for his father and him to come the realization that the few golden days that they had were just that. With a sigh he rakes a hand through his hair, staring at the phone like it could bite him, which is bullshit of course- but still. He also knows that Simon will make sure those idiotic things James grandmother wants of them are dropped.   
It is not that they couldn´t sign it, it is just out of spite. Or something like that. They don´t tell James any of that because they don´t want him to worry, deciding the boy had been through enough already and that it all would be only a matter of time and money. He had taken one look at the woman and known what she had wanted from Richard. It made him mad, furious to the point he wanted to do something to her, but he didn´t. Richard felt very much the same as they went to the Zoo with James and shoved their worries away to the back of his mind.   
He had never even thought about a marriage contract because he had no intention of them needing one. It was just her lovely nature to tell him that this wouldn´t last, he knew. Nothing to do with James, nothing to do with her worries for the child. People like that made Richard feel sick and he told Lee as much. Watching James closely playing on the monkey bars he turned his attention to Lee.   
“Penny for your thoughts?”  
Lee looked at the bag he had slung over his shoulder, filled with band aids, sandwiches and a bottle of hand lotion plus some tissues if James needed them and gave a heartfelt sigh.   
“I was thinking about dragons. Slaying dragons, you know. I read that story to him yesterday and then an image popped into my mind.”  
He trailed of because Richard knew exactly what Lee was talking about, or better – who. A slight chuckle rose in his throat before he could help. He would have said something else but then a cry tore them out of their little cloud and he practically ran over to the monkey bars where James had fallen on his knees and sniffed. Lee followed him , tissue already in hand.   
“Come on pumpkin, everything will be fine.”  
Richard said and wiped James face with a tissue that Lee handed him when he heard it – the unmistakable sound of a camera clicking nearby and he turned his head, face a stony mask.   
“Can you please stop taking pictures of my husband and our son. We would be very grateful for that.”  
Lee said without a blink and Richard felt a thrill of pleasure at the discomfort of the nosy paparazzo who had dared to come so close. He knew they wouldn´t be able to reason with every single one of them but it was nice to see how Lee had learned to cope with that.   
“Everything okay, honey?”  
Lee smiled warmly at James who had stopped to cry the second he was more or less smothered in attention but for now they both were willing to let that go and Lee collected Carl, who was just standing a few paces along.   
“Oh my god, it is you!”  
Lee closed his eyes, turning towards the voice that was obviously no directed at Richard who just frowns and comes over to them. Betsy MacTaggert, bane of his school life grins at him toothily, smacking him in the arm hard enough to wince.   
“Couldn´t believe it when I read it in the papers , but hell, it is you. You know, I hardly recognized you at first because, fuck – you came a long way from the blushing boy in my fathers study only wearing a -”  
Richard clears his throat and her eyes land on him , then on James, who thankfully hadn´t been in earshot to hear all of it and was still caught up in dealing with his scraped knee. Still, he would ask Lee later what exactly brought on the blush that seems to reach down to his very toes.  
“Er..Betsy, this is..”  
She squeals, Richard merely blinks but smiles patiently as she gets out a bright pink object that on a second look is her phone.   
“You don´t mind, do you?”  
Lee just blinks, mouth hanging slightly open as Richard laughs and ushers James over to Lee, looking expectant.  
“Why do people take pictures of Dad and us?”  
He asks innocent enough and Lee explains patiently as to why and the boy simply nods but doesn´t comment further. Betsy takes a bunch of pictures with Richard who is openly laughing right now because, bless Betsy and her lack of tact – she fondly tells a very interested Richard about the incident that left Lee standing with nothing but a pillow in her fathers study, the whole room gone quiet. Lee waits for the punch line that will follow that after Richard has sent of James to play with her kids who are just as wild as their mother it seems. It makes Lee worry a bit but he doesn´t voice his concerns, instead he sits down next to them, petting Carl and trying to get his blushing under control as Richard leers at him.  
“..And then he looked at my father, drunk of his ass, pillow held in front of his dick and said _What I do here? Nah, your son and me, we did each other, apologies about the stains on the carpet_ ”  
It takes a while but Richard throws his head back and laughs so hard he nearly cries. He cannot imagine they are talking about the same person, but they do – Lee has proven his wilder side to him much more than he would have thought. The reminder of that is the bruise on his hip bone, fresh from the night before and in the shape of Lees teeth. He flushes as he remembers that.   
“I think we all should meet again.”  
Richard says gleefully and Lee pales because there are so many stories and he doesn´t even want to remember some of them. Betsy sees that, grins and punches Lee in the arm again with the strength a mother of four children has gained. He winces slightly and she chuckles.   
“Yeah. I still live in the same neighborhood I grew up in, so drop by, if you like. Anyways, I gotta run.”  
She grimaces a bit, talking about schedules and doctor appointments with the kids, compliments them on what a lovely little family they make and waves one last time. Richard throws Lee a feral grin.  
“You do know that he made me pay for the cleaning of the carpet, don´t you?”  
Richard can´t say anything because he is laughing all the way home and only stops when Simon calls them. It takes a moment for Richard to register and he sends James up to his room, goes to the cupboard where they have hidden the good stuff and uncorks the bottle.   
Lee just frowns a bit.   
“Sit down, we need to celebrate.”  
Is all he says and it is enough to make Lee feel less guilty about the school pamphlets he has hidden in the nightstand.


	81. Family Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aw well, Richard didn't see that coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, our family seems to be complte and the next steps can follow. I almost can hear the wedding bells

Lee just stares at Richard for the longest time and he still needs to cope with all the emotions coursing through his system as James bounds down the steps to them and starts playing on the floor between them. Richard smiles at the picture they make and tugs James up until he sits in his lap. "Hey." He says a little wobbly, eyes wet, but he holds it together for all of their sakes.  
"You like it here, don't you?"  
James looks at him then, bright and fearful eyes looking at him and it makes Richard ache a little as he realizes that the boy proably thinks they want to get rid of them, like everybody else had done in the past, after his mother died. A fact that angers Richard but he doesn't say anything, just brushes the hair out of James eyes.  
"Yes."  
James says hesitantly and gnaws at his bottomlip until Richard lifts his chin up and smiles.  
"Good, because Simon called and said you can stay with Lee and me as long as you like."  
Lee blinks. Richard will have some explaining to do as to how they got such a quick response but his joy is much more present than anything else as he swoops down to kiss Richard and then James who simply slings his arms around his neck and squirms away as Lee begins to tickle him in earnest, making him bounce on Richards knee.  
"Can we go and visit Cowboys later? I mean not today or next week, but you know. When I live here now I wanna see them."  
Lee just laughs and they spend the rest of the time until James has to go to bed talking about all the things they can do in the future and they tell him about how much he will love school and how many friends he will make and they also try to stay calm but simply can't. Richard explains to him what brought on the sudden change of heart in James grandmother. It turns out that James father was not only an unpleasent being without manners but also got sentenced to a lenghty prison sentence.  
"And because she doesn't want shit to hit the fan and let it dragged through the press - "  
Lee has lost any respect he ever had for the woman and his joy vanishes in an instant. Natuarlly people like that think of themselves first. He doesn't comment on it, just accepts that Simon is a fine lawyer who can put the fear of god into anyone.  
They are both tired once they manage to crawl into bed and are mildly alarmed as the bedroom door bangs open before a whirlwind of limbs and hair flies through the door, bouncing off the mattress, making Richard sit up with a gasp as he struggles to wakefulness.  
"Thunder."  
James whispers fearfully and huddles into the covers and suddenly Richard is very glad that Lee can be awake much quicker then him and manages to calm James down enough to stop him from shaking. The rest of the night is uneventful and Richard can't get over how cheerful Lee can be in the mornings. Especially after a night with a kid squished between them who thinks a bed can be used as a bouncy castle. So he is a little sour when Lee rattles with the coffee cup.   
"You do remember that I am not a morning person, do you?"  
Richard grouses, not even wanting to look in a mirror anytime soon, but Lee just smiles.  
"Hrm hrm."  
The younger man says around a mouth of Cheerios and grins, ruffling James hair. "You better get used to it. You know for when school starts and all those early mornings will become a daily routine."  
Richard simply groans but Lee doesn't say anything for a while, talking to James about what he has planned today. To take him to the bookstore, show him his favourites. He has promised to read him stories and the boy is excited enough about all the things waiting for him.   
Richard muses that he still needs to accept those changes and that they need to sign the papers finalizing the adoption themselves, but doesn't say so, because he trusts Simon enough to say something that is life altering on a whim.  
"You have a dad, too, don't you?"  
He asks Lee who never talks much about his family and never would have the patience to do so if the curiousity wouldn't have been genuine.  
"Yeah."  
Lee breathes and Richard senses it costs him strength but he smiles and distracts James by promising books about dinosaurs and cowboy as he straps him into the car, shoulders hunched. It doesn't help either that Richard will be off soon to Hawaii to have a part time role in a T.V show. It will only be a week but Richard knows well enough not to ask while Lee looks as if he wants to cry already. He knows. So when they are off he makes a few phonecalls. Naturally his mother isn't pleased to be woken in tge middle of the night and he can just imagine her disgruntled face.but he wants to do something nice for Lee, so he calls his mother, because she knowscthose thing and secondly ..  
"Wait? What do you mean - it could have waited until you are here for Thanksgiving?"  
His mother goes silent and he just knows that by wanting to surprise Lee he has managed to ruin one that the younger man had carefully planned. His mother is only slightly mollified and only a tad more sarcastic as she reminds that he is an actor before he finally hangs up.   
Still, he can't help it to bow Lee back and kiss him rather breathless, keys still in one hand, James on his other side.  
"I love you so, so much."  
He says and lets Lee believe he is just riled up over everything that happend in the last twenty hours and his script.Lee just blinks but gives him a blinding smile. That is enough for now and maybe forever.


	82. Wild Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally James gets his wish. And Richard well.. he gets something else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah what can I say, I am a sucker for happiness.

Lee has one of these grins firmly in place and barely can keep James on his hand as they pick up Richard at the airport on his way back from Hawaii. He barely can keep in his laughter as Jamey grills him about hula lessons and why he hasn't tanned.  
"I am English."  
Richard says, matter of fact and dry as sand, making Lee laugh. They are already waving down a cab when Richard blinks up at Lee.  
"Don't I get a kiss?"  
He grins but is uncertain in the way he speaks and Lee knows that while they kissed in front of James many times before they still need to get used to the boy being around permanently. Wordlessly he leans over, James in between them.  
A loving lingering press of lips that promises more as does the look Lee has in his eyes but is hidden well enough from little eyes.   
"Now, that was promising."  
Richard mumbles while James proudly explains to them that he taught Carl to fetch the paper. And that they visited Lees dad.  
"Oh?"  
James looks to the floor and Richard frowns but Lee just strokes his hair and kneels down.  
"James told me it would be cool if he had an American Grandpa and so we went. You two came along very well, didn't you?"  
In fact Lees father took it very well and was more than pleased to finally see the little boy for himself. He also promised him that they could go and see horses, maybe even ride them if Lee would be oksy with that. Lee had smiled and gently told his father that they would have to talk with Richard about it.  
"I didn' t know you rode. I mean.."  
Richard blushes and Lee chuckles.  
"Oh, I did, when I was younger. Haven't done it in a while but if you would like it, we could go. And if Dad allows it?"  
God, those eyes - two pairs of them, looking pleadingly at him. He was doomed. Once and for all but he liked it.   
"Yeah, sure, as long as I don''t ..well."  
He doesn't finish the sentence but Lee knows exactly what bothers Richard and the older man is thankful that Lee just nods. When they are home and have a quiet moment Lee traps him against the kitchen counter, hands on either side of his body. He knows Richard is bone tired and wants to shake of the flight but he also needs to know if Richard is mad at him.  
"No."  
Richard says and steals a few kisses and soon has his hands in the Lees hair, only pulling away to take a deep breath. He isn't mad that Lee has taken James to his father or that he promised him something, the only thing he is mad about is that he is too tired to do anything else but to fall into bed next to Lee. Sleep is overrated Graham tells him over the phone from his New York Office, having stayed there since Halloween, informing him about press junkets and all the things he really doesn't want to hear about right now. Graham takes it like always well, cursing his luck at having ever taken Richard under contract but by now the other man knows how to take it.  
He shoves it to the back of his mind for now and concentrates on facing Lees father again. He hopes that this time around everything will go over smoothly but his worries are pointless because Lees father is wonderful towards James who is full of restless energy and claps his hands in excitement when Lee , after much pleading , finally dons a cowboy hat and rides a few rounds around on a horse for James to see. It also does nothing to quell other desires Richard has, but he tamples them down because there is a child nearby and also Lees father looks at him strangely.  
They are on the farm just a little outside the city that Lees father owns and Richard things it is all good fun until James tugs on his shirt sleeve.  
"Can I ride , too?"  
Richards face is a blank mask but Lee, who pauses mid circle and climbs off the horse he has been riding knows what that look is about. He sighs a bit, takes of the hat and walks over to them.  
"Honey, I don't know if you are big enough for a big horse like that."  
Lee says mildly and Richard throws him a grateful smile. James doesn't take it well and pouts, stomping his tiny feet.  
"Now, sonny - if you keep doing that you don't get to feed the horses with me."  
Richard has to hand it to the man, it works. He is a bit dissapointed in himself that someone else has archived that, but Lee links their fingers together as his father throtts off and feedsthe horses with James. It tires the boy out that after another two hours is asleep in Richards arms.  
"You know, we didn't start on the right foot and.. well and .. I am not good in those things. Maybe we can all get along?"  
He finishes and Richard feels Lee tense beside him but finally nods. And Lee being Lee gives him a look before they both invite Lees Dad over for Thanksgiving, hoping that this will be a new start for all of them.  
"You know, you make a very.."  
Lee grins and his father gives them a look that tells them that they may be on better terms now but that he really doesn't need to know everything. Lee assures him with a toothy grin that he needn't worry and grins until they have dropped of his dad and are home with James. Richard uses the moment Lee vanishes into the shower to join him. He takes his time, locking the bathroom door, so James doesn't run in on accident. They try to stay quiet but still Lee has to bite the inside of his palm to stifle his cries when it is too much.  
"Well."  
Richard grins cheekily once they dress.  
"I think our water bill will be quite high."  
Lee gasps in mock shock and James gives them a look as they all huddle in front of the T.V wondering why grown ups are weird.


	83. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So our little family goes shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on it goes :) Hope you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy.

Holidays are stressful, Richard concludes, standing next to Lee whose mouth is drawn into an unhappy line. There are many reasons for that, appearently. Like little old women who make awing noises about how cute James is, how well trained the dog trudging alongside them and if Richard is really Richard. Richard himself merely chuckles as Lee tells him he would go down the aisle to find a cheese to yell at.   
Meanwhile Richard tries to deciper what Lee wrote down on the shopping list. He can't believe either that they had an argument about the shoppinglist in the first place and that it had ended in Lee looking like he had been slapped. Richard had felt like the last person on earth because he hadn't meant it like that when he said that Lee would behave like a mother hen. Lee had pressed his lips together and gone for a walk before going to work and not talking to Richard for nearly ten hours. They had come around but still Richard thought they should adress it further later. Right now however his gaze is fixed on James who discovered the candy aisle. Now there is something to keep him focused and there would be also Carl who whines long and low in his throat because he spots Lee on the other side of the aisle and decides that this is the time to go berserk, exactly the same time James has managed to climb out from where he sat in the shopping cart , no longer refusing the call of brightly wrapped candy bars.  
"For fucks sake!"  
Richard hollers making a few people gasp but he could care less because the shopping cart rolled o er his foot and he isn't really good with pain, half the contents are spilled out over the floor , James just stares up at himand tries not to cry, just in time when Lee comes running up to them. Yeah, hevwishes for a hole in the ground, right about now.  
"Hey. Calm down, everythings okay."  
Lee has the nerve to say and Richard feels the steam in little puffs come out of his ears. He closes hus eyes, tries not to think of his ruined pants and shoes, because milk and eggs fell on them and also shuts out the stares they get.  
"Help me with that?"  
Lee says gently, lifting the cart with the hand not trapped in a cast. Maybe that is what has his nerves frazzled. He knows there was nothing he could do as Lee slipped in the kitchen and fell, thus breakin his wrist. It didn't hurt much, the younger man had assured him but still Richard feels as if he should have been there - because he wasn't. He had been on the other side of town in a meeting with Graham and James had been Betsy and her kids. Which reminded him that he still needed to grill the woman about the things Lee and her had done in school. Or the things Lee had done and had forgotten. That made him smile while he helped the younger man clean up the mess.  
"Drama averted?"  
Lee asked mildly, hugging James - who had calmed down by now, to his side. James simply nodded and they continued shopping.  
"Lee."  
Richard heard himself say, once again in front of milk cartons and eggs and Lee turned to him, a slight smile on his face.  
"Yeah?"  
Richard simply sighs.  
"I am sorry about earlier, that stupid comment and also about that..."  
He points at Lees hand but Lee just waves him off and smiles easily. "That wasn't your fault and that other thing, well forget it. We are all human after all." He grins and looks at James with a stern expression.  
"Now, Mister. We did say something about running off, didn't we?"  
Richard has to hand it to the boy, he can whip up the guilty expression very fast and very well but they aren't that eadily fooled by it anymore than in the beginning when the fear of doing something wrong was overwhelming.   
"Yes Lee."  
Lee nods.  
"And what does that mean?"  
James sighs, shuffling his feet. He knows well enough.  
"No T.V today."  
Lee nods and shrugs, gripping Carls leash in his good hand and sighing as they finally make it through checkout. They have an easy rhytm but Lee just knows there is still something on Richards mind as they potter around the kitchen a few hours later with James asleep upstairs. He knows that Richard fwels guilty about something he has already forgotten. He uncorks them a bottle of wine, even if he is more the beer guy himself.  
"Lee."  
Richard starts again and the younger man tears his eyes away from the T.V screen, blinking. It had been a long day and much had happened but nothing - in Lees opinion - for Richard to pull a face like that. Like it hadn't stopped raining for seven days on end.  
"Yes babe?"  
He tries, sliding closer on the sofa, kicking and turning until his head is pillowed on Richards thighs.  
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."  
Lee resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  
"I said it before. We are only human and we have our fights.."  
The next sentence leaving his mouth however is something that gives Richard pause in stroking his hair.  
"I don't expect you to handle me like glass just because my mother died. I wasn't mad at you because you called me a mother hen, I was jusz mad because I thought it would be too much and too less at the same time I did - if you get what I mean. Also I feel stupid because I managed to fall yet again."  
He sighed dramatically and Richard just chuckled.  
"I get it. So we are good?"  
He tries and Lee nods. Now they can try to tackle the holiday madness, Richard teases gently and Lee chuckles. Yeah, they are good.


	84. Reuinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is moving fast but not unpleasent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see or read we are nearing the big day, although there will be a few (and I say that loosely) things in between. However, thank you for reading and commenting and all the support because I am so happy about it *sniffs* *hugs you all* *goes back to to writing*

Richard seems tense when it concerns his family although he knows that there isn´t really a need for him to fret. Well, only the stern talking to he gets from his mother once Lee lets slip that he broke his fingers, which in itself is reason enough for her to call every day to assure if everything is okay until they finally come over.   
Lee was a bit crestfallen to know that his surprise had been blown but in the end he had to laugh about how sorry Richards mother could sound and he had teased Richard gently but relentless that he finally knew where that came from. Richard had just given him his patented glare and Lee had smirked, making a ridiculous duck face at him that in turn had made him laugh and warn poor James never to look like that because his face could freeze like that.   
“It´s not nice to lie to your children, you know.”  
Lee had remarked and Richard had swallowed the reply that lingered on the tip of his tongue because it hadn´t been something for the ears of a child. Really nothing prepares them however for the whirlwind all these people make when they finally arrive with a week to go to Thanksgiving. His father is wheezing under the weight of boxes and suitcases as they all pile out of two cabs.   
For one, horrifying moment Richard thinks that they want to move in with them, going white as a sheet at the prospect of never having Sex again and manfully fighting the urge to break down and cry. His brother gives him a cheeky look, knowing full well what his sibling is thinking and clapping him on the shoulder with a cheerful grin.   
“Mate, she brought her own frying pan.”  
At that Lee simply blinks and sits down because he doesn´t get a word out as Richards mother hugs him, pinches his cheek and tells him that he should look after himself better before declaring the kitchen her domain for the stay – hence her own pan. And spatula. Richard wistfully rubs the back of his head remembering just how fierce his mother could wield the innocent inanimate object if the mood took her.   
Also, his niece and nephew are there, running around the house and exploring every nook and cranny, finally giving their approval before flopping down on the sofa and trying to text. Their grandmother confiscates the _devices from hell_ and has Lee lock them in the highest kitchen cupboard, taking away a few of his brownie points but not minding it much because he gains them back by promising to give them a tour of the city later on. Ah, teenagers. Richard grins at him wolfishly at him over his lunch and reminds him that at least the two of them aren´t around the house of strangers in nothing but pillows.   
Lee blushes beet red and shovels down his stew a bit hasty after that and shakes his head, not wanting to explain what that might mean. Richard, he decides, will pay for that, a thing he promises him in a silent moment before the questions turn to James and why he isn´t there. A welcome distraction for Lee, who still has a face more resembling a strawberry in coloring.   
“Ah, he is in daycare. He isn´t to old for that and we thought that he would like it. Also .. a friend of mine from school helped. Betsy.”  
His face flushes again as he remembers that he , albeit grateful, feels the strong need to strangle her also. Richard just grins and pats his knee. He is grateful for the chance encounter with the woman because she really is helping them without wanting anything in return and she has kids herself. A fact that makes them both grateful and not panic every time James falls or cries, or throws a tantrum – because as sweet as he looks, he can be quite the menace.  
“Ah, sounds lovely.”  
His father says and he grins a bit smugly, knowing full well that his fahter hasn´t been listening to anything at all due to jet leg. He doesn´t mind, though. It is good to have them all buzzing around him and givinb him the feeling of home . Not that it doesn´t come with Lee or James around, it´s just something he missed and something Lee might have done because just of that – another proof how deeply they love each other, which is because why he invites each and every of Lees friends for Thanksgiving over too. That also means that he has to go shopping for another turkey and more drinks but he is willing to do it, because he loves Lee. He stops in the middle of the diary aisle, blinking as he realizes it, next to his brother.  
“Oh boy.”  
Chris says, stopping next to Richard who simply stares at the carton of milk he is holding in his right hand, bewildered and a bit terrified that he is about to settle down , or has done so without himself knowing.  
“What?”  
He croaks, placing the carton of milk in the shopping cart and trying to find back his equilibrium.  
“Shit, I never knew it would be like that. Although you brought him home.”  
Well, at least Chris has always been honest – brutally so, if he remembers correctly. He is thankful for that, too.   
“Huh?”  
Richard says again, apparently so dumbfounded that speech isn´t really his thing. Chris just smiles and pats him on the shoulder, heaving a sigh. Once they come back James is also there, jumping up and into Richards arms, babbling about the day he spent in Day Care and how he would love to go to school later while Lee just hands him a muffin. Well - he puts it in Richards mouth with a slight giggle and Richard finally, finally lets all the doubts he ever had about any of that or them or all of it go.


	85. Kitchen talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little domestic fluff

Lees father arrives a lot more quietly and tries not to stare at the image that presents itself towards him. He isn´t even asked who he is, because he looks like Lee and thus the logic permits that he as Richards father puts it _bloody well can help instead of just standing there_ Thirty seconds after that a stack of plates is shoved at him and Lee just grins.  
“Hi Dad.”  
He says breezily and by god, the older man hopes that they will have catering for the wedding – to which he still hasn´t gotten an invite but he doesn´t expect it. There is a woman who just looks at him like as if has done something very wrong and he fights the instinct to walk backwards the way he came.   
“So, you must be Lees father.”  
The woman, introduced to him as Richards mother says, crossing her arms over her chest. He wonders if it would be wiser to deny that the way the good lady looks at him and he stares at the stack of plates in his hands as if they could answer him.   
“Eh, yes.”  
He says and is a little (okay, a lot) overwhelmed as the plates are plucked from his fingers and set down somewhere near him on a table and from there are picked up by Richard.   
“You are late. Dinner is about to start.”

He blinked. He hadn´t been aware of the fact that there was a dinner planned before the whole Thanksgiving celebration – or that he was invited to it. Lee had called him and told him that it would be nice if he could meet Richards family before Thanksgiving because otherwise it would feel awkward. It already did, anyways and he wasn´t good at that, which he told Lee and he didn´t have to see Lees face to see the sad look upon it.   
Again he cursed himself. He just knew there was more to it as Richards mother dragged him into the kitchen after dinner and demanded he help her washing the dishes. It was an excuse, no doubt.   
“So, you and Lee don´t get along?”  
Well, the woman got straight to the point, he had to hand her that without doubt. He gazed down towards a dish in his hands, afraid it might slip and break on the kitchen floor, but it didn´t.  
“We get along. We don´t really talk much, if that is what you mean.”  
She turned a stony gaze at him.   
“No. That isn´´t what I meant and you know it as well, so please don´t think I am stupid. What I meant is, are you willing to get over the stupid hurt pride and be a good father for him, both of them from now on? I know its not easy, but those boys are in love. And if you dare to make one of them unhappy I am going to castrate you, you got that love?”  
He didn´t know what to say to that but he felt mild panic rise up inside of himself and also a lot of anger about what Lee might have told her or the man he was about to marry. She seemed to sense it and set the table.   
“He didn´t speak bad about you. Fact is, he didn´t speak of you at all until recently and I guess it has to do with him wanting to be a good father.”  
He clenches his teeth, looking towards the living room.  
“I think my time to be a good father has passed.”  
She just stares at him, long and cold, face set firmly.   
“Horseshit. Get your head out your arse and make up, that helps a lot and I know what I am talking about. Oh by the way my Name is Margaret.”  
He blinks again.  
“James. Like the boy.”  
She just rolls her eyes before smiling. That went over well.   
Meanwhile, in the living room Lee concentrated on not losing in Monopoly again, while trying to listen to what was going on in the kitchen. Richard just squeezed his shoulder.  
“You don´t wanna know, I don´t wanna know.”  
Yeah, he could live with that but also he was wildly curious as to why his father comes into the room, waiting until dinner is ready looking like he had been hit by a Mack truck. He doesn´t question that but the way Richards father rolls his eyes, it is clear – he got the shovel talk. A far less friendly version than him, it appears and it makes him proud to some degree. Richard clears his throat, stands up and excuses himself to go to the bathroom but heads to the kitchen instead, looking at his mother .  
“You know mum, I think you should go easier on the wine. Or on mingling in other peoples live.”  
She just stares at him, spoon in her hand, the other on her hip. He remembers that look on her but he just crosses his arms in front of his chest, rolling his eyes.  
“Richard Crispin Armitage, I do whatever I want and think of is right. Or would you have rather liked that I would have threatened to cut the guys bollocks off in front of his own son and grandson?”  
Richard groans, throws his arms in the air and says nothing and finally heads to the bathroom, knowing full well that his mother has won that round, too. Lee gives him a look as he joins the others again in the living room, filling everyone in what the plans for the next days are and hoping the weather is good – all random things but it makes Lee feel at home an well loved and everyone makes little awing noises as Richard pulls Lee in for a kiss. (Everyone but his brother who promptly snaps a picture before his cellphone is confiscated by his mother, too.)


	86. Holiday Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving is arriving and our boys are so in love .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not posting yesterday but life in the way of central heating outage and a rather nasty cold caught up with me. Anyway I hope you still enjoy this <3

Thanksgiving is wonderful. Lee doesn´t quite remember a time where he laughed so much and felt so full of food that he wants to roll around the floor in the living room. He barely resists it as It is, just pats his stomach and leans back. Much to every ones amusement James does the same, causing the people around the table to erupt into laughter and him in turn to scowl. He just doesn´t get the hang of grown ups yet but that is okay.   
“I don´t like it when you laugh at me.”  
Richard leans forward and ruffles his hair an semi evil glint in his eye , winking at Lee.  
“Nobody laughed at you, pumpkin. We laughed at Lee.”  
Lee manages a pout and stretches, trying his best to clean the table up and failing with a heartfelt sigh afterward because he simply can´t keep the tempo up.  
“Come one, the empty glasses don´t run away.”  
Richard grins because Lee itches to get them into the kitchen – not because he wants a sparkling clean house, but because he wants to stretch his legs out somewhere like he always does and the sofa is occupied. That causes a fond grin to spread on his face, making his brother on the other hand comment on how lovesick he is and rummaging around under the table because he is bored and likes to behave like a five year old sometimes – at least his mother tells him that.   
“What is _that_?”   
Someone says from his right and Lee tries to snatch photo album from Chris fingers and shield it from prying eyes, because – this aren´t pictures for family gatherings. He must have left them under the table and forgotten about them, because that was usually the only place Richard didn´t look. His face is a tad to red but Chris says nothing and hastily slams the album closed, handing it to Lee. At least he wants to because Richard snatches the object from his hands and looks into it. Firstly amused before his jaw slackens and his eyes widen for a moment. 

“Well, what is in there?”  
James wants to know and Richard stands, locks the album away and shakes his head., masterfully forcing his flush down.   
“Boring, grown up stuff. Landscapes.”  
Lee dimly wonders since when his naked ass qualifies as landscape but goes with it. It was more or less meant as a joke , because Richard always grilled him about taking nudes since that one leaked photo in the press – so finally he did. Well, he did that in front of the mirror and on their bed in a more private setting and had stashed those pictures away at first because he hadn´t been sure, before he had hid them in the table, meaning to give them to Richard with an air of surprise and smugness. So far for his plans.   
In hindsight, he should have left them in the bedroom . It would have saved him a bit of his dignity.  
“Wine!”  
Chris exclaims happily and Lee has to chuckle a bit, albeit he still is flushed. Richard tugs him away and into the bathroom when nobody’s looking, pressing him against the sink.  
“You know what you are?”  
Richard asks him and smiles a bit before Lee tries to look a bit ashamed and not knowing what to make of it.  
“No?”  
Lee says and bites his lip for a moment because he feels mortified. And a bit aroused, eyes on Richard.   
“You are teasing me.”   
Richard says and steadies Lee around the waist. Lee smiles at him and grins some more, eyes bright and expectant before he juts his lower lip out.  
“Am I?”  
Lee teases, tries to look away but Richard just kisses the charming smile of his face as smooth as he is able to.  
“Yeah, you are.”  
He breathes and it kills him a little that the can´t go up to the bedroom right now, because he desperately wants to and he is man enough to admit it towards Lee who just grins and pulls him into the direction of the stairs.

“Who says we can´t?”  
The American says and slinks up the first flight of stairs as quickly as he can and Richard knows he isn´t joking by the time he pulls him towards the bedroom and quickly sheds his pants. There is no room or patience for foreplay as Lee slings his legs around Richards middle, determined to not make a sound, which is harder than both of them think.   
“Be quiet.”  
Richard mutters against Lees warm neck, concentrating on a rhythm that satisfies them both and he doesn´t try to think of the people downstairs or that he has his other half against the bedroom door because they didn´t quite make it to the bed like two horny teenagers. He forgets what he thinks when Lees teeth sink into his shoulder to stifle a scream but manages not to scream himself and hold Lee up against the door.   
“That was your fault, you know.”  
Richard breathes and tries not look to flustered as Lee buttons up his shirt with mirth in his eyes.   
“And you bit me! Everyone will see what we have been up to.”  
He grouses and Lee reminds him gently that he won´t be running around without his shirt and also asks him if he has other plans. There are footsteps in front of their bedroom door and for a moment they freeze, until Richards mother clears her throat and asks them in her charming way to come downstairs again if they are done with everything they are doing right now and she really doesn´t want to know. Richard loves his mother dearly, even if he feels like he could throttle her sometimes. It takes them another ten Minutes to come downstairs and Lee all but squeaks as he runs against his father who has agreed to help cleaning up with Richards mother. The image makes him a little sad and nostalgic but is soon replaced with a heavy blush as his father gives him a look that clearly says he _knows_.   
Oh, well – there could be worse things.


	87. Our little crazy home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a little more talking xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, on the journey goes - as goes my cold *sneezes* anyway, hope you enjoy none the less :)

"Lee?"  
His father is quiet and a lot more hesitant than Lee has ever known him to be but he also knows why. It is about the wedding and a lot about things unsaid. Things Lee doesn't really want to talk about, so he just looks up from his position in the garde , watching James tire himself out while Richard has a meeting with Graham over some boring contracts for a even more boring deal. Also, Richard had been a tad affronted at getting the offer to shoot an ad campaign for condoms. Lee had just stared at him and cortled.  
But still, that wasn't on his mind now.  
"So, you got that wedding all planned out?"  
He paused a moment.  
"Yeah. We both have. Wasn't easy, though."  
And it hadn't been. It had been insane to a certain degree but still he knew that his father wanted something and it had been something they both had danced around each other a lot. His father cleared his throat and nodded.  
"You still don't want me there?"  
He simply watched James on the monkey swings, paused. No he didn't , because he had felt alone and left behind and also - well, not cared for. He swallowed and sighed again, trying to find the words he had stuck in the back of his throat. His eyes darted from Jamrs towards his father, eyes a little misty.  
"Would you want to be there?"  
He knew it sounded bitter and far from answering the question that had been thrown his way. There was a lot on the tip of his tongue he had wanted to say but didn't. Hell, he thought everything over so much in hid mind that he didn't want to dwell on it further. Not now and maybe never.  
His father scratched his chin, leaned back in his chair and sighed.  
"I don't know."  
Well, that told him a lot, didn't it?  
"I don't know if I fit into your world like that anymore. Not that I have something against that or your lifestyle but all of my life, it has been more or less aboutbooks."  
Lee gave a little snort because that was mildly put. Still he didn't blame his father anymore or did want to.  
"Look, I don't know what to tell you but I am glad we are on speaking terms and that you love James as much as we do. I guess everything else takes time, doesn't it?"  
He gave a little smile and sighed as James tried to climb onto Carls back, using him as a pony. It didn't work of course and James looked more than a little grumpy as he landed on his backside. Lee chuckled but said nothing more, just quickly picked him up and told him that Carl just didn't approve.  
"Yeah, it does. You are quite the family man nowadays."  
It does strike him odd that he himself would classify as that but he doesn't really see himself like that. They are on speaking terms yes but they aren't on the same page on many subjects.  
"Thanks, I guess."  
He says and looks down at James who nudges him a bit in the side, looking at him bright eyed and a lot like he wants to cry.  
"Yes buddy?"  
He tries and by god, he forces down the lump in his throat. There is something in that look he doesn't like in the slightest and he wants to wipe that sad expression away.  
"You're not gonna fight,are you?"  
He feels cold all of a sudden,because he remembers quite a lot of days in his youth asking that exact same question.  
"No, we don't. We just talk and when Richard comes back we can work out what we will do tomorrow. Nobody will fight."  
He says and smiles, closing his eyes and grins a bit as James accepts that for now, going on and on about what he wants to do for Christmas later and could they please get a huge tree? Who could ever say no to that, Lee muses and chuckles a bit as the front door opens and a gaggle of people comes in, all voices and rowdy and Lee thinks that it is wonderful that they have such a busy life that never quite allows them to take a breath to think about unpleasent things. He also thinks that without sarcasm.  
"God, my feet are killing me!"  
Richards father moans and makes his way straight towards the garden, grimly looking at his wife over his shoulder.  
"Can you believe it, she wanted to explore the city and dragged all of us everywhere."  
He mutters and Lee can't help the soft smile on his face. His father notices amyway.  
"Ah, I see."  
He says but not scornful , just full off regret. They don't elaborate that what Lees father says is more aimed at the fact that Lee has found a family for himself that didn't really include him instead of the faith Richards father had to suffer at the hands of his wife. They make it inside thevhouse without further discussion. When Richard returns he knows that something is off but he gives Lee time,doesn't even flinch when the younger man breaks a few dishes while putting them away.  
"Why ?"  
He asks and Richard tugs him close and presses a kiss to his cheek. There are a lot of answers to his question but Richard doesn't say anything to him and Lee is more than thankful for it. They ignore the dishes for now, justbstanding close to each other. "Anything else?"  
He asks and grins a bit as Lee grimaces.  
"James wants a tree. A real one."  
He shouldn't have said that he knows as Richards mouth turns into a smile.  
"I dunno, we could just paint you green and decorate Something like that."  
Richard suggests and Lee shakes his head. Oh they will have to talk about that. Definately.


	88. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys prepare for winter. It goes almost over smoothly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andhere we are, in the fic nearing christmas and a lot of other things to come. Thank you for readin and commenting, leaving kudos. It means a lot to me, really :)

There was a certain magic Richard had always loved about winter, even as a child and also later on, but he never dwelled on it. Winter also made him quite nostalgic, which was even worse when his family was around. Not that he minded much, he mused, watching out of the corner of his eye as Lee and Martin engaged in a staring match. His smile grew larger and he pretended being intrested in a book about baking instead of staring at Lee who had his arms crossed in front of his chest. Gladly James was still in kindergarten and didn't have to see this, because it really was quite awful. Awfully funny if anyone asked Richard, but nobody did. The jingling of the doorbell signaled customers and Lee turned, giving the woman in front of him a beaming smile. He would have made an fine actor himself , Richard concluded, looking at Luke who raised his eyebrows.  
"Ah, it's that time of the year again"  
He mused, eyes sparkling and winking at Simon who by now was downright curious and setting the baking book he had been rifling through aside. Richard stopped all pretense of reading. Luke smirked broader as the bickering continued.   
"Beg your pardon?"  
Maybe that was a tradition he yet had to get familar with. They were all at the bookstore because they had decided to go tree hunting. Since Luke had the bigger car a decision as to who drive them had been quickly made.  
"The elf argument."  
Maybe they were all just mad. A little. That he had known for quite some while now. Fact was also that Lee, despite not wanting to take over the bookstore in the first place , was really committed. For Halloween the place had gotten a fitting look and by the looks of it there was something planned for Christmas. If the boxes in the corner were any indication.  
"I am not wearing the stupid elf hat! Or the pointed shoes!"  
Martin hollered and for a moment Richard wondered if the color of Martins face was healty. Lee grit his teeth.  
"You did so last year! It is one day, so what is the problem?"  
Martin snapped his mouth shut, cursing. Lee waited. Richard briefly wondered if Lees father would come by after leaving earlier that day for his own place again but dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. He was much more immersed in the argument enfolding itself in front of him.   
"Last year there wasn't really a risk of being photographed , was there?"  
Lee blinks,mouth becoming a thin line. He knows what Martin means by that but still - he won't back down, that much Richard is able to see from the set of his shoulders.   
"You will wear them. I am sick of all that bickering and complaining. It isn't hard to understand or is it?"  
Lee felt tired and they had much more on their agenda today after all. He sighed and laid the costume items in the box he had brandished them from with a sigh. Martin flipped him off behind his back. Luke tittered, Simon rolled his eyes.  
"Are we ready?"  
Simon asked and fiddled with the car keys, making Luke smile a bit, and swatting his ass. Lee grinned, sliding his arm around Richards waist.  
"Save me?"  
He sighed dramatically, trying his best to go for wounded puppy while Martin muttered to himself, going back to work. Hell, he would dress up but he wouldn't do that without a fight. He enjoyed that quite a bit and Lee knew. Still, he was happy that everything had become quite normal. As normal as it could be as least. Richard grinned broadly, chuckling at the mere thought of Martin wearing something like that but he paused in the parking lot.  
"What?"  
Lee said, climbing in the back of the car, not liking the sly look Richard was giving him all of a sudden.  
"You dress like that,too? On Christmas?"   
If looks could have killed Luke would have fallen over as he merrily told him that in fact Lee always dressed like a elf for one day before they closed the store for Christmas, reading stories to small Chtildren for an hour. While finding it utterly American , Richard also thought of it being utterly adoring. Lee blushed none the less an interesting shade of red.  
"Its just to sell books. Nothing more."  
Richard gave him a pointed look and Simon snorted.  
"Oh, please hon, don't lie. I am a lawyer, I can tell."  
Lee just mumbled and tried not to feel to embarressed but it was true.  
"Oh, before I forget, we are meeting Dean and Aidan there. Appearently they know the owner and can help us secure a deal - and giving them a discount. "  
Richard smirked at the fact Simon was a businessman through and through. Still, he felt a bit nostalgic. Lee noticed and gave him a look, but Richard dismissed him with a wave. There would be enough time to talk about it later if the need to talk about it would arise. Also, he would have to have a talk with Martin to grill him abiut what exacfly he had meant while talking to Lee. And - if he hadn't completely forgotten his shedule they would also be helping Graham move to New York for good. He smiled at that, blinking as Aidan cuffed him on the arm.  
"Are you still with us, we are talking Tactics here!"  
Richard merely raised his eyebrows.  
"For a moment here I thought we were buying a tree."  
He said dryly, turning as Dean laughed behind him.  
"Shall we?"  
He asked and the bunch of them made their way to the tree outlet. Yeah, Richard loved winter, especially if he could snuggle up to the person he loved most in the world, drowning the noises of the world out while looking at something boring like trees.


	89. Outside looking in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aidan observes a bit from the sidelines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And heeere we are ( Well I still have a stuffed nose xD) Other than that I hope you enjoy

Aidan chortled. He wasn't beneath laughing at a friends expanse sometimes. Dean just rolled his eyes, wondering why on earth he put up with the other man - oh yeah, he was utterly in love ans so he tolerated that Aidan merrily hummed Christmas songs while walking through the tree outlet.  
"Rich, wait up."  
He heard Lee, who had been the source of his amusement, say. Now, he liked the bookseller, he really did. Also he didn't fear Richard anymore like he had when the two of them got first together, a thing he also was grateful for and chalked up to the fact that Richard now got laid on a regular basis. That, he also didn't say out loud. He had the prove of that as Dean and him had gone over there to visit and had been early. The sounds had been enough that neither of them had rang the doorbell . He tittered again, raking a hand through his hair, watching as Richard stalked past him, fist clenched at his sides.  
They came along well enough but he wasn't suicidal enough to interfere with was best solved between lovers. Also, he would like to keep his head on his shoulders. Dean just raised his eyebrows and blinked.  
"Have you any idea as to why he is pulling the Grinch off?"  
That didn't help him to stop laughing in the slightest,but he tried. He gave Dean a smile and shrugged.  
"I wager it is about the tree."  
Truth was, Richard and Lee had looked at trees fot the last two hours and Lee had finally put his foot down and so it had resulted in them buying a tree that was larger as both of them. That had resulted in a lot of dick jokes neither of them had much cared about by the owner Aidan had more or less presented as a friend. He hadn't know that the guy would freak out like that and he regretted a bit that he had recommended the place. He watched, from the corner of his eye as Lee sidled up to Richard,cupping his cheek.  
"Aw, look at them, they are so in love."  
Dean just smirked. He knew they were in love from the moment he had seen them. He gave Aidan a loving shove.  
"Are they fighting.?"  
Dean squinted his eyes but knew they weren't.  
Richard, meanwhile took a long, suffering look at Lee.  
"I don't see why we should pay that much for a tree. And the guy groped you."  
Richard narrowed his eyes and Lee sighed. They had come here to buy a Christmas tree and not to start an argument. At least he had thought so in the first place .  
Now they were facing each other in the parking lot of the place again before Richard gave in after Lee had moved closer and cupped his cheek and in turn telling him how much he would love him and how much James would love that tree. Eventually they had found a compromise and bought the largest tree that was there. A head taller than Lee.  
"What are you looking at?"  
Richard all but barked as they tried to lift the monster of a tree enough so it would fit onto Lukes Pick up truck.  
They managed to do so in far less time than either of them had anficipated and also had managed to buy some new ornaments for decoration because the old ones had been either damaged or plain ugly . (If anybody asked Richard, they had all been damaged and it also had been a pure accident at that, thank you very much)  
Aidan and Dean had purchased a much smaller tree but that had been okay if anyone asked them.  
"Got the Grinch under control?"  
Dean asked as Lee came back and he had to laugh a bit as Lee flushed. Lee on his part was happy that they all had managed to get a decent tree, because in his opinion that was something you needed on Christmas. Well, that and self made cookies, although he had always managed to burn them. His train of thought was once they tried to managed to make the tree fit. Luke wiped his hands, sighing and complaining about his back. Simon had merely smirked but refrained from any other comment.  
"Hey Armitage."  
Aidan couldn't help himself from calling out and Richard turned, face still puffy and red from tree lifting.  
"See you around."  
There had been much more he had wanted to say but it got stuck in his windpipe the moment hr had been able to see that this was real. It was real between Richard and Lee and it also was real between all of them. He sniffed  
"What is wrong with you today?"  
Dean asked and Aidan manfully geared the car up before he blamed it on pine needles and him being alergic to them. Dean let it slip.


	90. Making it work somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas preperations are made and discussions are had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are :)

Graham sighed, wiped his brow and looked at Richard who currently was decorating the huge Christmas tree, asisted by Lee and James. They had helped him move the last of of his belongins into his new home. It had been only a matter of time if he really thought about until he had decided to move to New York permanently.  
Lee grinned as James ran around and in between them , full of energy and also a bit over excited. He hadn't noticed Grahams sour face before but now he frowned at him, exchanging a glance with Richard.  
"What is wrong?"  
Richard asked but Graham just waved him off. Richards mother had just stared at him as while she had breezed past him declaring that she needed to get more supplies for dinner.  
"Nothing."  
Graham said and Lee paused in decorating the tree.  
"James, dear. Can you go up to your room and play there for a bit?"  
He loved James for being a polite boy and not at all difficult. Richard gave Lee a grateful smile, eyes locking on Graham again.  
"I ve been wanting to bring that up for a while."  
He said and Lee felt his stomach drop a little as they went into the living room were the rest of the family had gathered. They already had settled in and the evening was drawing to a close. They also were tired from helping Graham and now he wondered what it was that couldn't have been said while it only had been the three of them.   
"I was thinking about your wedding."  
Richard swallowed around the mouthful of wine he wasn't really drinking and gazed at Lee who visibliy paled. Chris noticed too but didn't say anything. It wasn't because Lee suddenly had gotten cold feet, it was just because of his conflicted emotions for his own family.   
"You will not need to wear a dress."  
Richard tried to joke, making Lee snort.   
"You know I wasn't going to - shut up! I was thinking that we could in advance prevent ...the usual."  
The usual. Richard swallowed again. He knew what that meant and also what Graham was getting at.   
"I don't follow?"  
Richards father piped up. Richard in turn wanted to throttle Graham when he saw Lee draw into back into himself. Lee had accepted most of the craziness that surrounded them , didn't mind being photographed while going shopping at the grocery store, hell he had stopped caring. His voice was deadly calm as he spoke, eyes fixed on the Scotsman before looking at Richards father.  
"I think what Graham is aiming at is making our wedding into something public and getting a pretty penny out of it - by selling some rights to the press. Does it sum everything up?"  
Graham was speechless for a moment. He had thought it would go over more smoothly, or that Richard would stand up for him. Or at least something.  
"We talked about that, didn't you tell him anything?"  
Lee gritted his teeth and his fist shook. It kept getting better and better. He said nothing but stood and excused himself to look after James. Richards father just shook his head.  
"Son, sometimes you are daft."  
Was all he said before going in search of the Whiskey. He was sure his wife had hid that bottle somewhere and the kids were in some sort of Musical neither of them wanted to go to, which mwant there would be alcohol in the house. Richard glowered at Graham some more.  
"Thank you for that. I was trying a more sensetive approach you tosser."  
He dimly wondered how everything had gone to shit so quickly. As usual he had no clue but climbed the stairs up to James room none the less. The sight that greeted him was heart warming and yet it twisted something in him. Lee was reading to James, his anger seemingly gone. The boy was half asleep as he walked up behind Lee, sat by his side. Lee turned halfway and sighed.  
"Hey."  
He said, eyes a tad misty but dry. Richard wanted to throttle Graham again, but first they had to see that their son ( and didn't that still sound strange to his own ears.) Lee sighed, pressed a kiss to James forehead and left the room with Richard.  
"You know, I don't mind that he wants to do something like that, because really I would kill anybody who would try to take pictures and fall out of a tree into the cake."  
It came out in a rush, the words running together. It made Richard smile. Also he found it very charming that Lee imagined a scenario like that. He would investigate were that came from.  
"I just thought he would be my friend too. I am.. a little - hurt, I guess."  
He said and sighed. Richard knew what Lee was getting at but he had to settle that with Graham himself.  
"I am sorry baby. I would have told you, but he kinda steamrolled over me."  
Lee smiled wearily, nodding, taking Richards hand in his and going downstairs again, where Richards mother was currently staring Graham down. She didn't say a thing and Graham didn't either. Surprisingly it was Lee who spoke.  
"I get to have the a say in that if in involves me , I won't sign anything but I agree on some things."  
Richard opened and closed his mouth, then he smiled. Graham had bern right back then. Lee was a keeper and he would make sure that it stayed that way.


	91. Not a delicate flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee isn´t a delicate flower and certainly nobody that would throttle Santa. At least Richard hopes for the latter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear and lovely readers :) First of all , sorry about the delay in posting a new chapter but the flu got to me stronger than I had expected. Yet, I hope that you are all well and enjoy this chapter :) The next ones after that will handle Christmas and then, we will near the wedding. I am already a bit feverish about planning that but don´t want to rush. Until next time :D

Lee didn´t say anything but Richard knew that Graham and him needed to talk. Well, he wanted them to talk but he also didn´t want to pressure Lee into something he didn´t want. Namely talking to Graham right now. Or ever again , juddering by the way Lee flinched when Graham slapped his shoulder. There were many problems in that, despite Graham having no tact at all- Richard had known that pretty much from the start – Not that he had minded much, because sometimes he needed someone to tell him things nobody else dared. A character like that, it also had its flaws, no matter how good the intentions were.   
He heaved a sigh, later in bed, popping his reading glasses up on his head, eying the closed bathroom door Lee had vanished behind fifteen minutes ago to shower. With another sigh, he threw the covers away and marched into the bathroom, staring for a moment because -yeah, there was something he liked to see and touch -not that he hadn´t done so in the past many many times. He shook his head, cleared his throat. Lee turned under the spray of the shower, blinked.   
“Oh, hi.”  
He grinned, eyes crinkling a moment and making forget Richard for a moment what he was here for.   
“Are you alright?”  
Lees face fell a bit and he turned of the shower, grabbed for a bathrobe and shook his head a bit , sending droplets of water flying in Richards face.  
“I am pissed off, that is what I am. I think that was pretty clear. And I have already told you that.”  
He simply said, eyes hard. Yeah, Richard could easily say that.   
“And there also is the fact that everyone thinks they need to thread me like a delicate flower or something since that accident.”  
Richard snorted at bit at the phrasing but he knew what Lee meant. He had done that himself and he fell back into old habits whenever he saw Lee wince or touch one of his scars. He stepped closer, wiping moisture from Lees nose, making the other man chuckle.   
“Don´t do that.”  
He simply said, eyes dancing   
“Do what'?”  
His fingers danced around Richards collar, up into his hair before he taking a step backwards.  
“Think about me like a delicate flower . I know you got an image in your head – yeah, I can see it. And you try to..distract me.”  
Richard raised both eyebrows, slipping his dry and warm hands under the bathrobe of the other man.  
“Oh? With what?”  
Lee laughed and captured the other mans lips simply with it, dropping the bathrobe on the floor without further comment.   
“With yourself – which you already know. So...”  
He stepped around Richard, throwing a look over his shoulder. Richard in turn cursed a bit, ignoring the bathrobe and feeling the magnetic pull of the other man guide him back into the bedroom. Lee had the nerve to pick up the book Richard had been reading and leafed through it.   
“New project?”  
He asked, wriggling his toes and Richard muttered something about Lee not being a delicate flower but a bloody tease and it took him only three strides to join Lee on the bed, making him chuckle as the book was practically ripped out of his hands.   
“So, no reading?”  
Lee managed to get out, trying to ignore the fingers dancing down his body and lips latching on his collarbone.  
“No reading.”  
Richard rasped out, mapping Lees body out with his fingers, eyes hungry before moving down on the bed.   
“Not a delicate flower?”  
He grinned, kissing the soft flesh of an inner thigh and stopping. Lee wasn´t happy about that, he could feel it in the sigh drifting down towards him.   
“You promise me something , darling?”  
He tried and Lee tried to get his bearings together, cursing under his breath. Richard knew well enough that he would promise everything in the state he was in, shaking and moaning low in his throat, legs wrapping firmly around the other mans waist.   
“I don´t promise a thing if you don´t get.. _ah_ ”  
He doesn´t need to finish, just grasps at any part of Richard he can muster, feeling a hot breath against his ear. They aren´t loud, because they both really don´t want anyone burst into the room. James had done that once because he had thought someone was getting hurt and they had just in time covered themselves up with a sheet and Lee had frantically explained that he had been having a _cramp_ in his leg. Richard had laughed three days straight every time the word cramp or leg had come up. Lee had stooped low enough and pouted.   
Right now , however they aren´t thinking of that, just moving in a rhythm that grows faster and faster, until Lee throws his head back, mouth open in a silent scream , taking Richard with him over that edge just a view minutes later.   
“Now that shower was good for nothing.”  
Lee grumbles fondly, eyes still sparkling with what Richard would describe as afterglow.  
“You started it.” Richard smirks before adding “My little flower.”   
It gets him whacked with a pillow but the blush reaching towards Lees navel is worth it, he muses before he grows more serious.   
“In my defense, I did go in there to check on you and ask you very kindly not to throttle our Santa, if you know what I mean.”  
Lee sighed again, eyes closing in frustration. He had known it would come back to that an he also knew the anger he had felt hadn´t been about Graham only. It had stirred up something in him that he had long buried and getting these things out again, well - it hurt. Simple as that. Still, he was man enough to take a step in that direction, even if it meant that he would have to make a few calls he rather didn´t want to. Turning his head, he looked at Richard, stroked his fingers over Richards cheek and smiled.   
“I do.”  
He simply said and moved closer, legs tangling and seeking warmth. Richard didn´t mind and he also thought that the shower could wait.


	92. Meetings in a Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Graham and Lee talk and annoy a waitress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again *sneezes* I thought it was about time those two talked and now they did, so we can look forward to Christmas (where hopefully nobody gets drunk and dances around the tree naked -but we´ll see)

Patience, Lee has learned - Is not something a human being naturally possesses endlessly. He wishes for it, like when he is talking to Graham who just explains ever so kindly to him that it would be the best for them to make the wedding public, since the fact that they will get married was pretty much known. Yeah, he remembers the Cover of OUT, he has it framed on a wall for god´s sake but there is no need for Graham to look quite so smug when that is pointed out.   
He also remembers Richards words and the promise he has made not to throttle Graham because they need a Santa. So he thinks of James and of the world of disappointment the poor lad would be in if he wouldn´t get to meet Santa while he sits opposite Graham in a diner. He had chosen to take that talk outside and far away from anyone else. As much as he loved Richards family, he didn´t want to spill his guts in front of them – he didn´t even do that in Richards presence often. Only if he couldn´t help it.   
His attention is focused on a greasy burger in front of him and he chuckles a bit at the flash of distaste sliding over Grahams face. Serves him right, the little voice in the back of his mind tells him and the devil on his shoulder giggles although he is calm outwards.   
“I didn´t want to steamroll over the two of you. You know, normally that is what the two of you do to me.”  
Graham says around a mouthful of food and swallows it in one large gulp, pinching the bridge of his nose. He is to old for that shit, he really is. He feels it in his bones, in the ache of his back he has sometimes and also in his throbbing skull when he drinks one too many. Still.  
“Oh, thank you for your consideration. How very kind.”  
Ah, sarcasm is apparently something not only Richard is good at so he has to be on his guard. That promises fun.   
“Yeah, been clapping myself on the shoulder constantly for my efforts to keep Richards career out of the gutter and your life private as much as possible.”  
It comes out harsher than intended but even Graham has his limits. He knows he isn´t really the guy you could send to some fancy Hollywood party but he also knows that he wouldn´t be caught there dead. Lee snorts, eyes glinting dangerously cold.  
“Must be a hell of a job for you. Such a burden that you steep so low and bring it up just before Christmas. Wonderful timing.”  
The words are icy and meant to cut but Graham doesn´t even flinch. He did have worse in his life and some of the worse things had been thrown at him by Richard.   
“I am sorry about that but I need you to understand my position too. It can´t be all roses and rainbows for all us , now can it.”  
Lee felt the fork he had in his left hand nearly snap into two pieces when he looked at Graham again.   
“I am not sure you got that right, Graham. Here I thought that you weren´t one of these greasy PR agents with their head up their asses but maybe I was wrong or something.”  
Graham rolled his eyes. Drama. He hated drama despite being surrounded by actors most of the time and for the better part of twenty years. He reached for his breast pocket, getting out a pack of smokes only to have the waitress glare at him and tell him that his would be a smoking free establishment , for health reasons. He snorted at that, giving the food in front of him another look . Yeah, right – but he didn´t say anything more, just put them away again.  
“You know how I meant that. It will be good to get these people outta your hair for a while. I am a bit taken back, I have to admit. To put it frankly – what crawled up your arse and died there?”  
He shouldn´t have said that, he knew but still -Lee didn´t yell at him, nor was food thrown his way or any jumping over tables was done. Lee remembered that once upon a time he had answered that question with _Jane Austen_ but that wouldn´t go over well nor fit now.   
“Besides you not considering why I might have needed a warning and have no ties whatsoever to most of my family anymore – nothing. Want a milkshake to go with the fries?”  
Yes, sarcasm. Biting and made to cut but Graham understood although he held his tongue that Richard had informed him a bit about the things that had happened. Wouldn´t be wise to dig that up now, would it?  
“No thank you, you will cause me a stroke anyways.”  
The waitress glared at him again but he didn´t give a flying fuck.   
“Look - lets get this straight. If you don´t want your family there – for whatever reasons you don´t need to invite them. That is what this is about, isn´t it? It is about them seeing the news and runniny merrily to the press?”  
Lee swallowed around the last of his burger. If Graham had one talent, it was to nail things. Yes, that was one of his fears but not the only one – the others he would keep to himself for now, even if he knew that either Graham or Richard would proud long enough to get it out of him.   
“I don´t care about that anymore. Well, not much. It is much more about James and all that ..you know what I am talking about.”  
Grahams face softened. He knew what Lee was talking about. They had thought so hard for the custody of that boy that it bordered on absurd and he understood that they didn´t want anyone to ruin their life.   
“I know. All I want to know is, are you willing to life with the consequences? “  
A million answers raced through Lees mind. Consequences. Life was never without them and he had faced them in the past, on his own. Now he wasn´t on his own anymore. He was about to get married and there was a bunch of people that would always would talk, spread lies and try to do harm. He had known that pretty much after the first months of dating Richard.   
“Yes.”  
He said. And that was all that needed to be said before he paid for their meals, leaving the diner and the glaring waitress behind. On the plus side he could go home and tell Richard he hadn´t throttled their Santa.


	93. Ice Skating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice Skating , yeah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more fluff before it gets really fluffy and maybe a bit angsty after that :D Because sometimes I need drama and all of it and ... well xD You´ll find out :D

Christmas has for Richard always been a special holiday – well back in his childhood. He mused, while putting the last presents under the festive decorated tree – that you tended to forget what it was like when you grew older, the worries of the world catching up with you. Also , you really tended to think about the past year a lot and it weren´t all happy memories that came rushing back through his head, but most of them were. So he focused on them before standing up, stretching.   
It was perfect timing , really – for Lee to come back from his little talk with Graham. Richard hoped that they had settled their differences for mutual reasons but mostly he wanted the hospitality between them to be over before it could grow. He loved Lee and Graham was his best friend, so that was somewhat egoistical but he was beyond caring.   
“Ah, I see you brought the right weather with you.”  
He only half joked, softly patting Lees snow laced hair. They had merely laughed at the weather forecast but apparently it was spot on, this time at least.   
“Yeah.”  
Lee grinned, cheeks red and shook his head in a perfect imitation of Carl, making Richard wonder who learned from whom.   
“James already in bed?”  
He asked with a sigh, shrugging off his coat. Not that he didn´t want to see the boy but he felt tired for numerous reasons. First he hated talking , he hated being reminded of things that he had long since buried in the past.   
“Yes. Now, out with it or I get the spatula from my mum.”  
Lees eyes widened for a moment and he gasped.   
“Speaking of ..”  
Richard grimaced slightly.   
“My father thought he needed to get her out of the house and away from the stove , thread her to a decent meal. Chris and his rascals are ice skating.”  
At that he grinned, a dark chuckle coming from his throat.   
“Well , they are ice skating – he is waddling over the ice like a pregnant seagull.”  
Lee really tried to keep the disbelieving look crossing his face to a minimum, but failed and laughed. He also dimly wondered how Richard came to know how exactly a pregnant seagull looked like. Shoving that lovely image to the back of his mind his face stretched into a grin.   
“No.”  
Richard said, and he tried to sound stern but he was doomed yet again because Lee looked at him like a wounded puppy (again) and he sighed.   
“Please do tell me that you not have the idea to join them?”  
Lee just wriggled his eyebrows and grinned broader.   
“You know, we could lock up the living room and take James too, he can sleep later – I bet he would love to come and join us, and by that I doubt that he will be asleep already.”  
Richard groaned, not knowing who of them was worse but in the end he gave in and made his way up the stairs to James room, where the boy was reading with a flashlight under his blanket. A fond grin spread over his face as he helped James to dress up and took him through the kitchen, far away from the presents under the tree. It wasn´t easy but he made it and Lee just grinned.   
“Ah there you are. So, are you up for some ice – skating.”  
James just squealed and Richard shook his head, taking a moment to quietly ask Lee if everything with Graham went over smoothly. Lee just looked at him and told him that they were okay and that Graham probably will never visit another diner again with him because of the food but that was it. Richard on the other hand was glad. They took a cab to Central Park, renting skates for themselves and James, although they were mindful of steering him between the two of them and out of harms way.   
It didn´t really take long to find Chris and his kids, because they were not only laughing at their poor father , no – they were filming his – well ..skating. Richard needed to get hold of that video but had the feeling he would need much more than a little sweet talking to get it. Maybe cash would do.  
“Doesn´t look like a pregnant Seagull, if you ask me.”   
Lee cut in, skating around Richard only to come to stand in front of him. Richard on the other hand was cackling, really, he couldn´t stop.  
“What do you think?”  
He asked James instead and James giggled, whispering into his ear that uncle Chris would look more like a ladybug or a turtle. Well, Richard had to agree on that but he was nice enough to help his brother to his feet.   
“Thanks..hey! What are you doing here?”  
Being brothers , Richard gave Chris a friendly, brotherly shove, making him fall on his ass again.  
“Ow, you tit! What was that for?”  
Richard just shrugged.   
“Your language, and you being a bloody prick to someone helping you to your ungraceful feet.” Was all he said before repeating the maneuver and patting Chris on the back.  
“Oh wait until yours is as old as them, you´ll see.”  
It was meant as a friendly jibe but the way Richard looked at his brother was anything but and Chris swallowed, waving to Lee.   
“You know, I didn´t mean you can´t .. “  
Richard just shook his head. He wasn´t mad at his brother, wasn´t concerned. It would be idiotic to start a fight so soon before Christmas and he wanted to have a peaceful evening, looking out for signs of Lee and grinning as he could easily spot the taller man in the crowd. That was one of the perks you had when you weren´t average height, he guessed, skating over where Lee was entertaining James by spinning him in circles.   
Yeah Christmas could come.


	94. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas, what it says on the lid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a bit melancholy in here but not that much and I hope you all will enjoy it :) Have a wonderful start into the weekend.

Christmas comes sooner than they expect, which is a bit silly, considering that it has been marked for weeks in every calendar in the house , but time as usual flies by. Lee loves every minute of the stress that is wanted , or even desired in making the last preparations that need to be done. So he had gone a bit crazy with the mistletoe but nobody would or could blame him, really. Or if they had something to say about that they were wise enough to keep it to themselves, either in form of Richards mother seeking vengeance on his behalf or him looking sad, which resulted in the former anyway. God, he loved that woman to bits already and he didn´t even feel a little bit guilty about it. Why should he, he asks himself more often than not but forces those thoughts away, enjoying the way the people around him are all full of love and the occasional bullshit he doesn´t really mind.   
His own musings make him chuckle as he considers yet again if the present he has picked for Richard is the right one. Well, he hadn´t picked it November or December, no - He had picked it around somewhere the time he had been released from the hospital, quietly in a shop in a corner. It wasn´t something fancy, he was afraid but it was something that held meaning. He glanced at the old watch again. It didn´t even work but it was beautiful and it had called to Lee in a very strange way. The cheesy line that kept running through his head was something close that translated to _you are timeless to me_  
Richard had the same thoughts about his own present for Lee. He felt idiotic for the one he had chosen. It just seemed too random, to simple. He sighed. It had taken him some time to chase it down but he had found it. A necklace with a lock. Old and antique. It seemed so.. romantic, so not like him but then again he had found it so fitting to Lee and that there was a matching one with a key, he would wear. Well, he planned to – it seemed a bit overdone , even if he felt more romantic than before, or ever. He wanted the gift to have a meaning that presented them. He even had told Chris about that, who had jokingly asked when the aliens had come to replace his brother with a clone. The answer was that Richard had nearly decked him and made sure that he was still himself. Really, his family seemed glad that he had set roots, however that had come about – and the comment was more or less payback for the whole ice skating disaster. He winced a little, still feeling it in his bones. No, he wasn´t getting any younger himself. Even Lee limped a bit, because they had recklessly joined in a hockey game. Lost without a point but it had been fun. He grinned.   
This would be great holiday, he could feel it and yet, he was feeling like crawling out of his skin. It had to be the present and the many thoughts about what could go wrong if Lee didn´t like it. Lee, meanwhile was trying to distract James, who in turn waited for Santa. There was only one slight problem. Graham was still stuck in traffic which was so much worse in the holiday season it wasn´t even funny anymore.   
Richard counted to ten, went into the kitchen only to be chased out again, followed by ever hungry teenagers that demanded to know when the boring stuff was over. Yeah, holiday alright. He briefly wondered if Lees father would come, or if Lee had invited him, by the time Graham slipped in through the garden like a thief in the night, costume tucked under his arm he had managed to forget everything but his own name, that itself being a miracle.   
“You look like you are ready to throw up.”  
Was the first thing Graham said, couldn´t help it. Richard, not missing a single beat stared him straight in the eye.  
“Merry Christmas to you too, now move your sorry hide and get dressed.”  
Graham just huffed, muttering under his breath what he had done to deserve all that, earning him just another glare from the Brit. The moment the doorbell rang Richard jumped, going over in his head who would come over. There would be Martin and his family, Luke and Simon, maybe Lees father , and god no he didn´t know who else. To top it all, everyone pressed kisses to his cheek because of the mistletoe. If somebody wouldn´t look to close their living room could easily mistake for a pine forest, if not the entire house.   
In the end, his worries about having forgotten something are ridiculous and Lees father shows up just before Graham has his great entrance. Everybody is smiling so brightly that him and Lee are momentarily blinded but that doesn´t matter, because the hand in his is warm and reassuring, making him forget about his worked up nerves for the moment of happiness the boy experiences just then, so glad that he has settled in so good, made friends in the area and doesn´t even flinch if some other kid asks him why he has two fathers. There was a rather rude boy that did say it , yeah, rather rude and James, having learned a few phrases from his surroundings had told him where to shove it – which he confesses towards Santa while asked if he had been a good boy. Graham has a very hard time to hold in the barking laughter that fills the room but lets him off easy by telling him to just think that next time, because some people where just a little slow. He had meant dumb, but didn´t want to say that.   
Richards mother slinks up behind her son from her place on the sofa, shaking her head and whispering where they got all that stuff and he fondly shakes his head because the last thing he wants for Christmas is for his mother to get a heart attack. When Graham bids his leave as Santa James is already tearing through wrapping paper like whirlwind, while the grown ups and even the teenagers exchange their gifts in relative silence over dinner and desserts.   
Martin got Richard a reindeer sweater, remarking something about Bridget Jones that made Richards ears in turn flush a lovely shade of pink. Lee just laughed, but he had gone quiet after his father had handed him a present. He did put up a good act but something with that present, it had seemed to throw him off and Richard had noticed it. He excused himself from the table, where gifts were compared - mostly gift cards to go with prank gifts like the sweater – and followed Lee until he was in their bedroom.   
“Hey.”  
He said, hoping to sound not to nosy but Lees soft chuckle just made it clear to him that the other man wasn´t fooled for a second.   
“Hey.”  
Lee didn´t really seem sad, just a tad thoughtful.  
„Penny for your thoughts, sunshine?”  
Richard tried and Lee grinned, turning the little parcel his father had given him over in his hand. On second look it was a letter. Carefully wrapped and with a delicate script.  
“It´s something from my mother.”  
For a moment there , the older man felt cold as the weather outside and didn´t know what to say to that. Really, what _could_ he say?  
“She wrote it back in the hospital, back then. Told him to hold onto it until the time to give it to us would be right. My sister got one too.”  
There weren´t tears in Lees voice but he seemed mildly shocked. Richard was glad then that they already had exchanged their presents and it had gone over remarkably well and without comments from the sidelines. Martin had seen to that mostly, and really – everyone feared the so called `Spatula of doom´, a fond nickname Richard and Chris had come up with after the third glass of punch.   
“You want me to go, so you can read in peace?”  
Lee just gave him a _look_. Sitting down on the bed with crossed legs he beckoned Richard over, the chain around his neck glistening in the lamplight. For a moment there Richard felt something odd but it went away rather quickly, like the sounds drifting up from downstairs.   
“Can you read it to me?”  
Lees voice was still calm but it bordered on fragile and that was when he had Richard wrapped around his finger. Without further comment, the older man began to read in what he hoped was a steady tone because he knew Lee needed him to. Because he loved Lee and Lee loved him enough to let him all in, like he did in return.   
_My dear boy,  
I always hoped to see you grow up and finally be endlessly happy, but I know now that not all our wishes can be fulfilled.  
_  
Richard stopped, chanced a glance at Lee and continued.   
_If you ever have to read this letter I am sure your father has come around and accepted everything as it is , and it took him long enough, stubborn as he is. You know what I am talking about, right?_  
Lee gave a choked off laugh beside Richard.   
_I don´t want to tell you how to live your life but I want you to know that I am pretty angry that I cannot stand beside you and tell the world to back off if they hassle my beautiful boy. I imagine, if you read this, you are no longer a boy but a grown up man and will have found the things you are looking for. I am proud of you , always have been.  
What I want to say is something your dad always said, you remember Little League?_  
Yeah, Lee did.   
_Give them hell. I love you, no matter what happens, be brave, believe in yourself. Be the man you have to but don´t forget the little boy inside yourself always knowing what he wanted. I love you and will always do, even if I am not around._  
That was all and Richard folded the letter again, handed it back to Lee with numb fingers.   
“Thank you.”  
The younger man said, blinking and reaching for Richards hand.   
“Lee, do you..”  
Lee shook his head, pulled Richard close and gave him a kiss in thanks. He didn´t want to speak right now, putting the letter in his shirt pocket.   
“Come on, lets get down there before they tear the place apart.”  
He joked lightly before turning again.   
“By the way, Merry Christmas.”  
Richard just gave him a smile.


	95. Ghost of Christmas Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee has a few thoughts on the day after the gift exchange but he isn't left alone with them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this I never thought it would grow so big but - well here we are and it is still fun. <3 Have a lovely, lovely Weekend my dear readers

The day after Christmas is slow and Richard wakes to the smell of hot chocolate, for a moment there feeling like a little boy again. He turns in bed, stretches his still tired and sore muscles before sighing. He still has his eyes closed, shuffles closer to Lee and blindly pats for his hand. Lee chuckles, but doesn't say a thing, laces their fingers together.  
"Please tell me you smell chocolate too"  
He mumbles against Lees neck and he can feel a smile against his skin.  
"I do. If my senses aren't misleading me it comes from the kitchen."  
At that Richard makes a sound between a moan and a sob. Lee is cruel enough to chuckle and presses his nose against Richards cheek.  
"I know, you are used to room service."  
The sentence makes Richard crack one eye open but otherwise he stays were he is. Buried deeply under the covers, warm and comfy. He knows they have to get up sooner or later but he wants to prolong the blissful feeling of doing nothing at all. As fun as Christmas was, there was alsp a downside. The one where you were the parent cleaning house and trying to keep the chaos under control as much as that was possible.   
Well, they had tried. Opening his eyes fully, he sighs and pulls Lee closer.  
"You got cold feet."  
He complains without really meaning it, sneaking his hands under the covers and letting them skim over Lees stomach, making him giggle.  
"I could wear socks."  
He suggests but Richard just wrinkles his nose, not able to say anything else when the door he forgot to lock the night before bangs open and small sock clad feet thunder over the floor. It takes another twenty seconds for James to jump into their bed, firmly landing in betweenbthem , a gleeful expression on his face.  
"Wake up, wake up. Grandma made hot chocolate."  
Neither Lee or Richard can say anything to that before the boy jumps up again and dashes off, bounding down the stairs again.  
"Better than any alarm clock."  
Richatd mutters and Lee laughs some more before climbing out of thed. Richard sighs and turns again, trying to get a last whiff of the bed scent before standing up. He passes by the mirror,mlooks into it and promptly away, dancing around Lee who is reaching into the medicine cabinet.  
"Are you okay?"  
He cannot help but ask. Lee pauses, swallows a pill and places his hands on the sink. He grabs the sink hard enough to go white before he nods.  
"Yeah. I am okay. Just..well, it was a bit much but it also was..it helped me. I am not really yet awake enough for that."  
He said mildy before brushing his teeth and Richard followed the example.   
"I am fine, really. Stop worrying. Nobody should worry if there is hot chocolate around Rich."  
That made Richard chuckle and comb his hair rather sloppily and leading to Lee teasing him about being in a haste but he was. They managed to thunder down the stairs nearly as eager as James after Lee got a twinkle in his eye and wispered _race you_. Richards mother just shook her head as she shoved two steaming mugs in their direction.  
"Don't break your neck before New Years, wouldn't look nice on the wedding pictures dear, now would it."  
He flushed, ignoring his brothers snickering. His niece swept in, rolling her eyes and muttering about dorky uncles and their hot boyfriends being in love so much it made her gag. Richard just winked evilly , popped a marshmellow into his mouth before pulling Lee close and sharing it, sending almost everyone into hysterics. God he would miss them once they went home but he also will love to have a few quiet moments.  
"You know, she is right about you being hopelessly in love."  
Richard just once again shook his head, muttering something about teenagers. Lee said nothing, deep in thought while watching James and sipping his chocolate. He hadn't been entirely honest with Richard as he said that he was fine but it alsi hadn't been an entire lie also. His past Christmasses hadn't been like that and he was still shaken from the letter. Also he was sure that Richard could see through the slight mask he had slipped on but was far to kind to comment on it. There it was again, that same bitterness that had caused him to spent the Christmas before Richard had stepped into his life curled up on his ratty sofa, sniffing and nursing a cheap bottle of wine. He had unplucked the phone, locked the door and huddled into a pile of blankets, basically telling the world to fuck off. Fortuneately for him Luke and Martin didn't listen to what he told the rest of the world.   
The change of pace in his life was good, he loved it, loved Richard and his family. No question that he loved James but right now he needed a moment to himself. Standing with the mug in his hand and slipping on shoes he stepped into the snowy garden. Brushing off snow from the swing he sat down gingerly and began swinging back and forth, closing his eyes. It was quiet and peaceful for about ten minutes before a pair of warm hands was pressed on his shoulder.  
"Come back inside, you can brood there, were it is warm, too."  
Richard simply insisted and who was he to not follow that. Standing and turning he let himself be guided inside the house and pushed down into a chair for breakfast. A proper breakfast as Richard didn't tire of telling him - which was more than a pop tart, thank you very much. Laughing outright now Lee told himself that it was time to chase away the ghosts of his past once and for all, remembering what his mother so wisely had written in the letter he had safely tugged away _give them hell_. Yeah, he would do that - if he survived the breakfast laden on his plate by Richards mother.   
"Welcome to the post Christmas madness Gretel."  
Richard whispered but his mother had heard him and whacked him with the spatula.


	96. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys go shopping for fireworks. Well Richard gets roped into it. He doesn't have it easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we happily prepare for the New Year :) We'll see what happens next xD

"Lee?"  
He turns his head to see Richard looking worried at him and he wonders for a moment what this is about.  
"Yeah?"  
He says, warning bells already going off in his head as Richard rakes a hand through his hair. He seems a tad nervous if Lee isn't mistaken.   
"Er, Turner called."  
Blinking, Lee sets the forns that need to be filled for James to go to school come spring aside. Maybe Richard is just a bit guilty about that. Fact is, if Richard is honest with himself, he hates paperwork, even more than critics or journalists - and he had told Lee that rather begrudgeingly. Lee, on the other hand would have guessed it on his own, because Richard being himself had tried until Lee finally had taken pity on him with a dark chuckle. He also gleefully mentioned that his mother would be in earshot. Without meaning to, Richard rubbed the back of his head.   
"Yes?"  
Lee tried for patience , setting down his pen, crossing long legs at the ankles and clasping his hands behind his neck. This could be good. Really good. Also the little devil on his shoulder wanted to make Richard work for it. It wasn't often that the older man flailed while trying to get words out. He was an actor after all and sometimes he used it to his advantage. Two could play that game, the more evil part of his brain supplied towards Lee.  
"Well, he called about..shopping."  
Oh, this wouldn't be good. This would be perfect. Lee stood, rounding the desk in the office they both shared. (Richard still drove him mad by sorting sticky notes by the color and size)   
"This isn't about that Supersale of lube at the drugstore for the holidays."  
Richard choked on what he wanted to say, coughing. Lee finally took pity on his poor lover and guided him into the kitchen were Richards brother and his children were merrily ignoring each other over their phones, using the chance of their mother, or respective grandmother being out of the house with her husband, making good use of the gift card she had received for a stylish haircut.  
"NO!"  
Richard hisses but chuckles soon after, shaking his head.  
"I am just a bit worried that it could go a liitle out of hand if we go shopping for fireworks with him and O'Gorman."  
At that Lee smirks. He remembers well enough the Christmas Tree shopping and how that turned out. It had been a bit chaotic but also Lees whole face had hurt from laughing. _Fireworks_. Ah so that is what Richard is worried about, rather than the wild bunch of people around them. When he realizes that, his face softens and he leans over the table to give Richard a reasurring kiss smack on the lips that everything is okay.  
The retching sound from the side comes from Richards nephew, who in turn is rewarded with a slap over the back of his head by his father.   
"Oi!"  
Lee can feel Richard smirk against his lips and deepen the kiss some more before sitting back with a sigh.  
"So we will go firework shopping?"  
That makes several heads shoot up around the table and grins appear on suddenly very interested faces turn their way. Oh no.  
"Fireworks. You know, uncle dearest we are , er, experts on that."  
Chris just stares, Richard shrugs and James perks up nearly bouncing in his seat as he gushes about all the pretty colors most fireworks make and if he pretty please could also light up some. Lee says nothing, but the grin stretching over his face says it all. Mentally cursing Aidan an Dean, Richard mumbles something that isn't quite an insult but close to it before giving in to his fate. Luke and Simon decline coming with them most politely. Well, Luke is polite while Simon, being a hard assed lawyer (more do than his husband) assures them it would only lead to grey hairs on his head. So it was them and Richards father, whom they picked up at the hair stylist. For a moment Lee thought the man would cry out of graditute.  
It must have seemed quite odd to Dean and Aidan when a whole family climbed out of two cars and Dean joked about them wanting to get a discount and it being unfair to him and Aidan, bcause they were only two. Richard good naturally rolled his eyes before opening and closing his mouth as they walked into the store that sold fireworjs from every size and form. He was, to put it mildly - overwhelmed.  
"You brought teenagers to a firework outlet."  
Dean said and grinned at Aidan. Richard really didn't know what the difference betweem them and said teenagers was and told him that, making the blonde laugh. They also had come a long way, it seemed. In all the chaos he has to turn around to find Lee who has already secured a shopping cart, James in it.  
"Do we need it?"  
He wants to know in a feeble attempt and he swears to god that Lee and James can pout and make puppy eyes on command. He is doomed. Fighting a lost battle against the rest of the world. Chris offers him a beer out of sympathy. That should in itself should worry him. His worries intensify once his eyes land on a candy aisle.  
"I want a six pack for that."  
He says with a scowl and Chris eyes widen but something makes him nod and Richard turn on his heel. That something is Lee and the not so empty shopping cart plus the insane amount of firework and candy loaded in the cart.  
"Look Dad! They have everything that goes boom and candy."  
Lee just grins broadly and whistles, throwing an arm around Aidan. Richard doesn't like the look that passes betweem them.  
"You said, the rockets are that way?"  
Aidan just nods and off they go. Richard gives up.


	97. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard thinks about resolutions. Lee about a carpet. And then there would be childish grown ups all around

Richard can´t believe it. The amount of fireworks they have purchased would be enough to last him three years, but he doesn´t complain about it much more, because everybody else around him is happily unloading the crap _Sorry mum, no I didn´t curse, lovely haircut, by the way_ in the house, gloating. Honest to god, they are gloating. Lee grins so bright the Christmas tree doesn´t stand a chance in comparison. So what chance does he have to join the madness, finally stretching out in an ungraceful heap on the living room floor next to Carl. He doesn´t care how lazy that seems until Lee pokes him in the side with his shoe.   
“What are you thinking about ? A new carpet?”  
Lee jokes and Richard snorts, popping himself up on his elbows and ignoring fireworks going off in the garden. Of course it would start as soon as they where home. He distinctly can hear Chris bellow something, his father laughing and his mother heaving a heavy sigh, retreating in the kitchen like she always does when it is too much for her. That makes him think about hies New Year resolutions. He has a bunch of them, neatly tucked away in a notebook, because he is fond of them but he also is a tad embarrassed. Scratch that, a lot. None the less, he turns his head, craning his neck to look up at Lee before pulling him down to him onto the carpet. A whizzing sound makes him look up.   
“I am thinking about that we will have to go to that bloody firework outlet again if they use it up all tonight. Further more, I am thinking our son will grow up to be a pyromaniac if they keep on influencing him but I am far to beat to stand up and go out there.”   
With that said, he lets his head sink down into Lees lap who is laughing softly, eyes crinkling at the corners and playing with his hair.  
“Well, as far as I can see he is just having a good time and everyone loves him -as do we. So there shouldn´t be a problem. And he is far to young to know how to use the internet for ..well – anything really.”  
Richard lets out a sigh.   
“Thank god for that.”  
Lee just laughs some more, fingers carding through Richards locks in a soothing manner, looking into the garden every few minutes, just to make sure. His mother would laugh at him being an overbearing parent but he shoves the thought away as quickly it had come.   
“So, what are you thinking about?”   
Lee asks again and tugs at the older mans hair as he is about to fall asleep. After shooting him a glare, Richard grins and shakes his head to clear his thoughts.   
“What are your New Year resolutions? I mean, I have them all planned out ..”   
He stops when he sees the blank look on Lees face. The thing about New Year resolutions is that they never really last – just as far as Lee is concerned. So he stares at Richard while trying to decide what a theme there party should have (to which in turn Richard rolls his eyes and says something about Americans but doesn´t dive further into it) like he would have grown a second head and a tail. Shaking that mental image from his thoughts he finally shrugs.   
“I don´t have any.”  
Richard pauses, gapes at him and blinks. He has never had heard that and he wouldn´t have thought it about Lee, because the other man just seems the type.   
“The type?”  
Now Lee scoffs in earnest, loosening his grip on Richards hair and frowning. Richard curses inwardly that he apparently is the type to utter his thoughts into the world even if he thinks they are kept to himself.   
“Yeah, I just – never mind.”  
Lee says nothing for a moment before his hands glide down and frame the other mans face, warm hands on slightly chilly cheeks.   
“No, I want to know. This seems important to you and – well maybe I am a type. Everybody is a type for something.”

The laugh coming from Richard startles Lee a bit but Richard on the other hand quickly explains why he can´t keep a straight face. Lee had for all the world sounded like a salesman while saying that.   
“Well, I do sell books. Thank you very much for recognizing my talent.”  
He says with a little bow that is short of awkward , sending them into a giggle fit once more. With a more serious expression Lee turns to Richard, eyes guarded but honest.   
“Even If I had some, I wouldn´t tell – that is the first thing about that. It pisses me off that if I want to do something I need to keep my mouth shut about it. I am not good at keeping secrets, really.”  
He sighed and fumbled a bit but Richard got what he wanted to say anyway and stopped him, laced their fingers together.   
“It´s alright, love. Forget about that. I was just a bit nosy.”  
Nosy is one of the words that Lee wouldn´t find fitting for Richard but he keeps quiet about it and smiles, rising and pulling Richard up with him, making his way into the garden. James is covered in snow and engaged in a fight with the other kids against Chris and Richards father.   
“You know, a fine resolution would be to be more grown up, for some people.”

Richard says with a menacing stare that is entirely wasted, because the next second a snowball hits him square in the face. Lee cackles, only to be the next person to have snow in his hair and on his shirt, ducking out of the way of as many snowballs as he is able too – which aren´t many, considering his height.   
“Oh, just wait! You´ll get yours!”  
He threatens Richard playfully. Richard comes to the conclusion that he maybe doesn´t need resolutions for the next year, because he is just happy the way it is at the moment, right before the next snowball hits him right between the eyes.


	98. Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is talking and a bit drama .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I said it - I am a sucker for drama, so please bear with me :) Other than that, have a lovely day. On a second note - I am also working on other projects and have a ton of ideas that will go into other fics about those two :D

They decide against a theme for the party because it wouldn´t make sense, and also – both of them just haven´t got the time time for it. They enlist James in a school they both like and it took a lot more of their time than they had anticipated.   
“I love your mum for baking us treats, you know.”  
Lee says and grins, stretching. Richard also is in a good mood, which brings him to another subject he has in mind. Something he didn´t want to bring up before Christmas or on that day, but now he finds the time is right.   
“You know, I thought – we did go over the things we want for the wedding already, yeah?”  
Richard set his teacup down, frowning. They had gone through everything they wanted from their guests as a gift – namely they had decided on money instead of making a list about all the household applications people would normally gift and also that they would donate some of the money to a charity. Which one, they had yet to decide but they would come around, Lee was sure of that. The plan or the wish which coursed through his head was a different one and he wasn´t sure Richard would be on board on it, because even if he knew Richard loved him more than anything in the world.   
“You want to built what in the garden?”  
Richard repeated, eyes nearly crossing while he stared into his empty cup. Lee pressed his lips together. He knew it wasn´t an easy subject for the other man but he had hoped that it wouldn´t blow out of proportion and into an argument. They were dancing around a shouting match for days now, some things left unsaid between them after the incident with Graham. It was frustrating, like pulling teeth. Lee gritted his.   
“A pool. I think it would be nice to have a pool in a garden that is big enough for it and it wouldn´t even be that big.”  
Richard stared at him.  
“What if James falls into it and something happens. Despite my fears. He is far smaller than either of us, have you thought about that? ”  
Lee hadn´t thought of that. He blanched. Naturally that was the point where the kid came into the room but Lee had his back turned, breathed. No , he hadn´t thought of that and it angered him. Angered him that they all were right about him being not good enough to be a father, to be to young to have a child. He didn´t believe that but his thoughts were interrupted by James pulling on his pant leg.   
“Hey.”  
He said, lifting the boy up into his arms. His arms shook a little bit with the rage he felt but to direct it at the boy would be wrong and it would be wrong to yell at Richard also.   
“Why do you look sad?”  
James asked and Lee closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get a hold of his emotions. Richard did have a point and they needed to talk about it.   
“Oh I am not sad, James. I am just a little stressed.”  
James blinked and he gently lowered the boy down again, seeing him move to Richard immediately. Richard was after all more of a father figure then him, he knew that but he had a hard time wrapping his mind around the situation. Being a parent, a wedding coming towards them and then, then there would be all the demons of the past coming and catching up now and then. He really tried to be better, god knew but he just couldn´t seem to get a grasp on it. Richard gently laid a hand on his shoulder.  
“I didn´t mean it like that.”  
Lee smiled sadly at him.  
“Yes you did.I am sorry. I just didn`t think that far.”   
He heard the voice of his father in the back of his mind, turned towards James.  
“What is it you wanted, sweetie?”  
He said, looking down into hopeful bright eyes that seemed a bit worried and fearful but mostly excited. Those things could wait, he decided, taking James small hand into his larger one. He seemed worried, the way he took a breath, inhaled slowly. His eyes flickered to Richard who in turn held up his hands.  
“Andy Stevens from across the street said that you are going to ship me off again because you don´t want me anymore.”  
At that Lee and Richard were both shocked forgetting all about the pool argument , that hadn`t been really one. Clenching his fists Lee practically stormed out of the house and across the street. His blood pressure was sky rocketing the moment the words had left James mouth and his jaw was clenched .  
“Lee, where are you going.?”  
Richard was a tad alarmed at that but was also pissed.  
“We are not going to ship you off. We won`t ever send you away.”   
Lee stopped in his tracks, fist raised to knock on the door which was the only thing separating him from Andy Stevens and his father, turning to look down at James who seemed more scared of him than of what had happened.   
“Promise you won´t fight.”  
Lee sighed again, crouching down to James and tugging him tightly against his chest.   
“No, we won´t fight with Andy or his dad. I promise.”  
He said, glancing sideways at Richard who looked pissed but was much calmer than him.   
“Oh I am glad for that.”  
A booming voice from behind Lee told him and he raised to his full height, glaring at the man who had opened the door.   
“Look, I am sorry, my son didn´t mean it. They are children.”  
 _We all were children once, you idiot_ Is the phrase shooting through Lees head but he clamps his mouth shut.   
“Maybe you should teach your son a few manners. It´s not far fetched that those things spill out of a child, now is it?”  
Richards voice was icy, calm. Calculated.   
“We just came here to ask if you might feel inclined to tell your son that what he said wasn´t very nice.”  
Lee did want to say something else but knew it was fruitless. Taking a breath he clasped James hand in his, linked his arm with Richards. To think all of that came out of a semi argument about a pool startles Lee but it also makes him think and totally ignore the sputtering man behind him.   
“Lee.”  
Richard says patiently.   
“What is on your mind?”  
He asks but it sounds a lot like _What is wrong with you_ A question Lee also has been used to a lot and doesn´t know how to answer.   
“I didn´t think about the risks with that pool. Didn´t think about your fear of water. I just thought it would be nice. You know, for James too.”  
James looks at him again with those bright eyes, hand firmly tugged into Lees larger one.   
“We can´t get a pool, Lee.” James informs him. “It´s too cold to swim.”   
He says and Lee laughs, ruffling James hair but Richard gives him a look that says that they will talk about that once they are alone and also about his sudden and rather emotional reaction. For now all that counts it that James is safe and sure that he won´t be shipped off somewhere, because Lee knows that the child has been through enough. As a rather bitter afterthought he thinks that maybe he should have made New Years resolutions after all.


	99. New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Year arrives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on the journey goes - the old year gone and the New Year awaits our boys - so the wedding planning can begin *rubs hands together*

What are your wishes for the New Year if you think you have everything you want and need? To be a better person maybe, but then there are people at your side telling you that you fine the way you are and that the two of you can make it through everything that is thrown at you – Richard thinks that goes both ways for Lee and him while watching the other man sleep, James tugged between them because Lee still feels horrible about Andy Stevens and James can´t be persuaded to sleep in his room because of what the brat said. Richard heaves a sigh.  
It is meant well enough but in the end it robs Richard of his sleep because James moves around more than Carl would ever do, crawling over and around them. It is quite picture that paints and so Richard isn´t surprised when he lands on his ass beside the bed with a curse. That wakes everybody in the house tow hours before the alarm goes off and gains him murderous stares from all around. In a moment his mother doesn´t watch him, he flips them off before peeling a banana and threatening his brother to shove it up some place very nasty if he doesn´t get his grin under control because despite what the other man might think , _that_ hadn´t been the reason for him to get no sleep at all. The only thing that gives him a little peace is that Lee looks even worse.   
He has to bite back the smile when Lee slouches into the kitchen with his hair all sticking up at odd angles and dimly wonders if he could maybe persuade him to go to that lovely hairstylist his mother had been to and couldn´t shut up about since then. Not that he ever would tell that to her face, no. He just thinks that before going back to the list of resolutions and wishes he has for the New Year.  
He has a lot of wishes he doesn´t really shout out in the world because he wants to keep them close to his chest. Not that he is afraid to share them with Lee or others but he just likes to keep some things to himself. Everybody does, he muses over his cup of tea, exchanging a look with his father over the breakfast table,   
“Everything okay?”  
His father isn´t a man of man words, Richard knows that, never has been, so when he talks is always important or something that just can´t be kept in any longer. Of course everyone at their house has heard the ruckus the day before – they aren´t dumb or deaf for that matter but nobody commented much on it, because it wasn´t their life. Richard had made very clear at one point that what was between him Lee was theirs alone – granted that had been before James had become part of their family.   
That was another wish for the New Year Richard harbored – that James would feel at home, really at home. As much as the boy already did, there were still some fears lingering inside him and he was glad that the child was still young enough to hopefully get rid of the bad memories he still carried. He knew how hard that was, glancing at Lee – much to his fathers concern.   
“Yes. Everything is fine. Some days are just a little harder than others.”  
His father gives him a grin that reminds him of the grins he got in his childhood and warms him with melancholy until he blinks and a whirlwind comes bustling in from the garden – namely James, followed closely by Lee who tries his damnedest to keep the chaos at bay that is caused by muddy shoe prints but just gives up when Carl bounds in after them and Chris kids who are all gleefully happy. Richard gives Chris one look – he hadn´t even noticed that they were all done with breakfast and had time to get dressed for the weather outside and thus time to start another snowball fight.   
“I see that today is one of these days?”  
His father chuckles and Richard rolls his eyes while Lee grabs the slightly squealing James off the floor, grinning at Richard.   
“You missed out on so much fun for the last half an hour.”  
He grins gleefully while Richard wonders how you could get so dirty in so little time but says nothing and lets the image warm his heart before he follows them into the bathroom with a chuckle. One of the wishes he has for the next year is that there will be much more moments like that – to see Lee laugh open and free and without that haunted look sometimes crossing his face but he keeps that one close to his chest especially and helps Lee instead getting their son to look human again instead of a swamp monster and refuses to leave the bathroom before Lee has had a shower himself. By the end of it they are all laughing so hard and sitting around in bathrobes in the living room.   
“Children.”  
His mother mutters but sits down with them. Richard knows what she wants to get at – that they need to leave soon, that she worries everything will be okay , that maybe it is a bit much for someone who hadn´t been used to that life at all and someone who had his own demons to fight but she doesn´t say so. Her eyes tell him everything anyways but he keeps quiet, so the rest of the morning is spend in blissful silence and talks about what they will do later that day. Mainly they discuss the placing of fireworks, who does light up what and have a look at the weather forecast.   
If anything, Richard had always been a man with a plan – until Lee had come along. He chuckles at the thought and Lee frowns at him, inspecting the lighters and matches for the last time .  
“What?”  
He asks and Richard tugs him close, noses brushing and lips grazing.   
“Just thinking about not thinking.”  
That makes Lee chuckle a bit before he turns away and steps back, even if he is tempted to stay right where he is, but knows he can´t because there is much to do before their other guests arrive. Another wish that Richard prays for to come true when the fireworks explode and the clock strikes midnight is that all people he loves and came to like over the last year will be happy, because he knows how hard happiness sometimes is to come by. He takes a long look around the garden, standing a few feet away from where Luke and Simon stand wrapped around another and Dean tries to explain to Aidan that champagne is not only for the rich and famous with a sideways glance that makes Richard chuckle, just as much he has to laugh when Graham is smacked with the spatula by his mother when trying to add more whiskey to the punch. Martin and his wife paint quite a different picture sitting quietly on a bench and gazing at the sky and even Chris and his rascals are something close to quiet and sentimental. He takes a look around to make out Lee and James and is pleased to see them come over to him, James being carried.   
“Happy New Year.”  
Lee whispers, leans in for a kiss before James does the same and Lee slips his hand into Richards.   
“Happy New Year.”  
Richard echos and the three of them stand in the garden with all of them having their wishes , hopes and dreams until the last rocket is fired into the night sky and it almost dawns.


	100. A good year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Year starts, old things are left behind and dealt with

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 100th chapter *throws rice* - now , a good 130k later, we are on the way towards the wedding , have shed many tears and dealt with very annoying people. Well, Richard and Lee have. Thank you so much for reading, commenting and making suggestions this far and I hope you still enjoy it :)

The New Year greets them with a blizzard that leads to all flights being canceled and in turn to all plans being waylaid for additional days. Nobody really minds but Richard can see it in his mothers eyes that she wants to get home, despite her worries and how much she loves strolling around New York with a fancy haircut. It just isn´t the life his parents are used to, he understands and he is a little sad about it at the same time.   
Lee understands to a degree, squeezing his shoulder as he finally has to say goodbye to his parents and other relatives and he squeezes his eyes shut to shut out the tears in his mothers eyes she denies having cried a few hours later when they are safely landed and on the way to their house. He chuckles a bit at the groan of his father about the prospect of the amount of mail they probably will have at their house and that he really doesn´t enjoy coming home to that. Richard can relate but he is glad to have his own life back for now and they would see each other anyway for the wedding. His fingers shake when he looks down to his hand.   
This was getting real – something he had acted a lot of times in his life, had gotten countless prices for but this time it was his own life, not some lifeless shell he breathed life into with the talent he had been blessed with. His gaze flickers to Lee, going over lists and taxes, groaning at the amount of work that has been piling up over the holidays and into the New Year. Richard is glad that he never had a business to run but he doesn´t mention that to Lee when he looks like he is about to go on a killing spree.   
“I have talked to my sister.”

He says one morning while fixing breakfast for James and Richard tries to focus on what Lee has said, of how much importance that quiet sentence instead of scoffing at the amount of sugar is in the cornflakes James shovels into his mouth. That is best left for later.   
“Oh?”  
Lee doesn´t even look at him while getting out toast, searching for the butter Richard hands him without comment and placing knives next to the dishes.   
“Yeah. Toast?”

Richard wants to give him the time he needs but inwardly he is bouncing on the balls of his feet by the time Lee sits down next to James.   
“Yeah. See, my dad sent her a picture of James and us and told her what had happened. “  
He isn´t sure he likes the smile on Lees face but Lee doesn´t stutter when he continues, eyes focused on the tabletop.   
“What did she say?”  
If she said anything that would make Lee doubt again he would find out where the woman lived and make sure she had a long and painful death, no matter what anyone would think. Briefly Grahams horrified face flashes in front of his inner eye but he blinks it away as quickly as it came.   
“She asked me how I was. How you were. That she would be surprised I would have finally grown up.”  
Richard attacks the poor egg in front of him with so much vigor the top flies off and hits a sleeping Carl right on the head, making James giggle while munching away. At least someone could laugh about the situation.   
“Really. How observant of her. I should be impressed, shouldn´t I?”  
Lee cracks a smile at that and reaches for Richards free hand on the table, eyes bright and honest.   
“I love it when you are sarcastic and fight for my virtue in the same breath.”  
Richard wants to deny that but he doesn´t and deflates a bit, putting his knife down and stroking his fingers over Lees knuckles.   
“If you tell me I am a big softie, I am going to get angry, you know.”  
James frowns at them across the table, asking if they are going to kiss and Richard dreads the time that innocence will turn into _oh, just get a room, you two_ , but until then a lot of time needs passing so he focuses on the present where Lee smiles at him, chuckling.   
“I am not going to tell you then – no honey, we are not going to kiss. Kissing comes later when you don´t look.”  
James giggles again , attention drawn to his breakfast. Richard was thankful for small miracles.   
“So, was that all she said?”  
The sigh that leaves Lees mouth is heartfelt and makes Richard worry of what might come next when the grip on his fingers tightens.   
“Oh she isn´t good with words. You know, runs in the family.”  
At that Richard has to laugh and swallow the comment that he had noticed that in the past few months.   
“She did speak, yes, if that is what you are getting at. It was awkward. For both of us. First of all she told me, besides being happy that I have finally grown up, she would be happy. Happy for both of us , for us to provide a home for..well.”  
He nods at James, doesn´t want to say _adoptive child_ because James is much more than that, always has been. He isn´t a toy but a breathing moving being that has the right to experience what love is - and hadn´t he become quite the poet?   
Richard says nothing to that, just nods, smiling at James.   
“Can we go outside and play when you are done with boring grown up stuff?”  
James also has become a lot more bolder but they both blame that on Betsy and her band of rascals, not on their own tone of voice. Denial is a river in India after all, now isn´t it?  
“Yeah, pumpkin. But you have to finish your breakfast before that.”  
James gives a pout, turns puppy eyes towards Lee but Lee shrugs and tells him in gentle tones that he is with Richard on that matter. They have learned a thing or two since becoming parents it seems,   
“Did you invite her for the wedding then?”  
Lee shakes his head and Richard is so proud of him that he leans over and kisses him smack on the mouth. James makes little retching noises he has picked up from Chris kids just to annoy them but that doesn´t get a rise out of Richard or Lee for that matter.   
“What did we say about bad manners , honey?”

Lee gently reminds , James pouts again.   
“They stay out of his house, there is no place for them here.”  
Which is true and something both of them often told the boy and still tell him in gentle but firm tones whenever it is needed.   
“Right, pumpkin. So, what else did she say?”  
Lee hesitates a bit and Richard prays that his patience won´t wear out on this lovely morning.  
“She said that she had no idea how hard that would have been on me. Everything. That she is sorry but couldn´t do anything – begged me to understand.”  
The older man just raises his eyebrows, waiting for Lee to continue.   
“And?”  
Lee gives him a watery grin but quickly hides it by looking down. He doesn´t want James to think he is sad or about to cry even if he is dangerously close.   
“I told her I would appreciate that she called and that my family and me are doing well. And I promised to send her some pictures.”  
And Richard smiles, bright and sunny in a way that belies the gruesome weather outside and he all but jumps up, tugging James and Lee along outside in the garden so they can finally leave boring grown up stuff behind for the time being. Yes, it would would be a good year. It would be _their_ year.


	101. An Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is an interview -and fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, past the 100th chapter, many curses and dismissing thoughts later I still can´t believe how much this has grown and that it has been over 3 months now . And how much it helped me in many ways to find a sort of peace for myself. So thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. It means the world to me and I am glad so many people seem to like this little (ha) piece of fiction that now is slowly but surely nearing its finish line.

Lee closes his eyes against the headache he feels coming on, dull and throbbing behind his temples. There is only so much he can take and he knows that Richard feels the same the way he is glaring at the bubbly interviewer. The cameras are bright and the lights blind them both but Lee endures it as much as Richard, because they can´t give into the urge to scream. One might wonder why they are giving an interview – or maybe why Lee was present and it was a valid question Lee asked himself until he had seen the magazines piled up in Grahams office. Glossy and obscene , speculating about Richard and others, woman , men – he had been close to tears of laughter by the time they had seen him with a brunette that looked _very close_ to him, which in the end was his niece.   
He got ít, they got paid for that bullshit but still – they needed to do something, something that would shut them up for good. So Graham, practical like always had suggested that Lee joined him for an interview or two – lay out a trap for them to slither into without them knowing. After all Richard had a new Movie out (In which he played an Alien Warlord and James thought he had the coolest dad ever without offense to Lee)  
So the games could begin. Sure enough heads had turned and Lee , who had been briefed very well by Graham again (not that he needed it, thank you very much) smiled patiently at the Reporter as he strolled in and _surprised_ his soon to be husband. God, they really should get an award for that, he thinks and he just knows Richard thinks the same because he is grinning so hard his teeth hurt.   
“Oh that is so sweet of you, you don´t mind to stay for a few exclusive questions do you? I mean, concerning your ...situation.”  
Graham had called them bloodhounds for a reason , Lee remembered that well enough now and he was well aware of Richard tensing beside him, so he gave him a look. The idea wasn´t something they both embraced with open arms but is was better than the home story. Richard had taken One look at the journalists that wanted to do that and shaken his head, as had Lee. It was bad enough that the wedding would be filmed and broadcast , even if it would be niece for the public to have an insight. Richard had given as snort at that, because as far as he knew , the wedding that was planned on being broadcast had nothing to do with reality – so all plans had been thrown overboard and they had started from scratch, even telling Aidan and Dean with a heavy heart that it wouldn´t be good for them to write about it and that others should do it.   
Despite Richards worries they had taken it well enough, Dean making some comment of being able to raid the buffet then _Tell me , for the love of god, there will be a buffet!_ Remembering that, Richard had to smile forcing his attention back to the reporter in front of them.   
“Beg your pardon, I was a bit spacing out there.”  
She giggled and he sighed but packed it into a smile before looking at Lee.   
“Candice here asked, if it was love at first sight and who of us will wear the dress.”  
Richard scoffed. They never came up with something original and so he ignored the second question, telling her everything , well – not everything – but the finer points. It took him five minutes to tell her what he wanted to tell her before she interrupted him.  
“So you are really doing it?”

Lee bit his tongue at the question that could be answered so many different ways but he just did the same as Richard and smiled.   
“I think that was clear, wasn´t it? We´ve been through so much already, so why would we change our plans now? I mean, god knows – people have tried to mess things up between us enough, haven´t they?”  
Richard threw him a withering stare off camera but he deflated somewhat as it makes the reporter squirm. The rest of the questions is harmless, even mundane. What will they wear, have they decided on a cake – will there be a lot of guests, who will be the flower girl? That last one makes Richard choke on the water he is offered but otherwise than that it goes over smoothly. On their way home they stop at Betsy´s house, who is more or less amused as they recount what had happened.   
“I could be the flower girl.”  
She says brightly and Lee snorts.   
“You don´t fit the dress, Bets.”  
He mumbles but she hears him and pulls on his ear until he begs for mercy, making Richard laugh. She had become quite a good friend to them and they both were grateful that she looked after James now and then. It was even better because the boy liked her and her kids liked him.   
“Ow, I need my ears in the wedding night, you know. And after.”  
She raises both eyebrows, fixing him with a stare and a grin. He feels his face heat so much it must look red as a strawberry.   
“Your ears? You know, I thought it would be something else you would need.”  
She says and shakes her head, unruly hair flying in all directions and smiling as James bounds in, jumps into Richards lap.  
“Betsy said you and Lee will be on the telly tonight! I wanna see!”  
He says , bounces with bright eyes and Richard laughs, trying very hard not to laugh at Lee , who still is looking like he is about to faint or go into shock – or both.   
“I am afraid it will be on way past your bedtime pumpkin ,but we can record it for you.”  
James pouts, but he is okay with that as long as he will be able to see that afterward. Richard himself is excited, too. Lee on the other hand seems very calm, doesn´t even mention anything about the interview but he gives a dismissive wave of his hand when Richard asks if something would be wrong. On the inside, Lee is nervous and it shows when they sit down and watch the Entertainment News, ignoring all other stories until the interview comes on. It starts out simple enough with Richard alone and questions about the movie and after ten or fifteen minutes Lee comes in – narrated by the interviewer from off the camera at first before it cuts back to them. Lee watches in rapt fascination how they come across on the screen. Even after it has finished Lee sits ramrod straight on the couch and Richard turns to him with a confused look.   
“Okay, I give up. What is wrong? There is something that is bothering you, I know it. I won´t make you tell me but I would love to know if something is bothering you. If you have any doubts or concerns, please tell me, please.”  
He knows he is awfully close to begging but Lee just gives him a blank look, bottom lip between his teeth before he finally bursts into action, arms thrown above his head in surrender.   
“No, god no! I don´t doubt us- this – for a second. It is all I ever dreamt of but I – I wonder how you do that, how you deal with those people every day and not go insane. They have no right at all to ask one question about our private life and.. god you are amazing, you know. Amazing that you can push all through that and I wonder what is it that keeps you from strangling people like that. “  
Richard is quiet for a long time, before he turns his head, cups Lees face between his hands, presses a kiss to his lips.   
“Sometimes you are daft.”  
He gently says and kisses him once more before he gently says that the thing that keeps him going would be coming home to a house with people he loves. Lee says nothing to it, just wraps his arms around the other man and listens to their combined heartbeat. He doesn´t try to think about flower arrangements and tuxes or flower girls and just enjoys the comfort of Richards arms for a while, drifting off into a blissful dreamless sleep


	102. A Weekend getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admidst all wedding planning stress our lovely couple breaks free for one weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on our journey goes, have a lovely weekend everyone :)

The press follows them with eagle eyes from that point. The way they threat each other, the way the thread the child in their care. It takes them both to the edge of their sanity, until with two months to go to the wedding before Richard turns to Lee with wild eyes and a migraine so strong he is weeping that they decide to take a break from the stress and rent a room at the Savoy, including a Spa trip. They are in dire need of it and Lee enlists Betsy into taking James for the weekend and James readily agrees because then Betsys son and him can play pirates. Richard is barely able to open his eyes the way his head pounds and the world spins around him when the check in and Lee worries for him but calls Betsy to ask if James is alright.   
“I am sorry.”  
Richard says and Lee stops.   
“What are you sorry Rich? I should be sorry for dragging you through half the city for tux shopping when we could have gone another day and knowing that they would follow us.”

Richard rolls on the bed, stares at the ceiling and shakes his head before he winces ,reaching his hand out for Lee and Lee moves immediately, letting himself be pulled down on the bed and against Richard, breaths mingling.   
“No, about leaving you with James and Betsy and unloading it onto you.”  
Lee just stares at him as if he had been slapped but he quickly gets his bearings together, rolling until they are pressed flush against each other, forehead to forehead, stroking cold fingers over Richards temples.   
“Rich, you know I love that kid, right? That he isn´t a burden to me and never will be? I just worry sometimes that I am doing so much wrong. “  
He heaves a sigh but keeps stroking Richards temples until the other man gently but firmly bats his fingers away.  
“I know. I didn´t mean that. I only meant that I am not in the shape for anything right now, besides lying here like ..well – like that.”  
Despite the situation, Lee has to smile, stroking a hand through Richards hair and coming to rest at the back of his neck.   
“I find it quite alright and James is cared for – I checked in with Betsy.”

Richards lips twitch into a smile, even if he feels throbbing pain behind his eyes. God, he hates being sick, has hated it even when he was little and especially when he would love to do so many different and more pleasure things. At that Lees eyes darken but he simply swallows, kicks off his shoes and presses his lips to Richards ear, voice low and filthy.   
“Well, you better rest than, because – really – I hear that Spa, it offers you a spectacular massage and if you pay a little extra you are instructed how to do that yourself. Doesn´t that sound great?”  
Richards eyes snap open again, having fallen shut by the time his head comfortably rested on the pillow - a mistake as sharp pain crosses through his head. Lee scolds him gently to relax and close his eyes against the new pain.  
“Don´t do that. We have two wonderful days ahead of us and many more wonderful days to follow with each other and our son. That is what he is now and he has the coolest dad ever – remember? He wants to be a pirate now – to which I am glad, because that cowboy thing – my..”  
Richard laughs, quiet and a bit startled but he catches himself just in time to start not another wave of pain thrumming through his aching skull. He doesn´t get migraines very often but when he is photographed and nearly stalked with his future husband (well , they did expect that) it happens.   
“What?”

Lee asks, all fake innocence and with a twinkle in his eyes that belies what he is up to – or will be, when Richard feels up to. Richard groans at his own bad pun, trying to sit up but a firm yet gentle hand pushes him down again.   
“Nothing.”  
Richard tries meekly, wondering if Lee will let it slide and chalk it up to the effect of the painkillers he has taken a few minutes ago. Lee, however is not fooled in the slightest and Richard curses his luck.   
“Doesn´t sound like nothing – you know, the way you say _nothing_ ”  
He gently teases, letting his fingers slide under the hem of Richards shirt, making him twitch and giggle. Richard will deny that he giggled – because he just _doesn´t_ do something like that. Another high pitched sound leaves his windpipe, making him open his eyes.   
“I just really like the color on you – you know, that lovely red you turn when something innocent is thrown at you by our lovely little rascal. Like, ah say, if you like to ride.”  
Lees face heats up and he pinches Richard lightly but without intending to hurt, before stroking gentle fingers over the abused skin.   
“You really enjoy that, don´t you?”   
Lee grins and Richard returns the smile in kind, nodding slightly, letting his eyes slip closed again.   
“I am really sorry I am such a buzz kill right now. Otherwise I would ravish you, you know. And I still want some more juicy details of your wild and scandalous youth.”  
Lee just chuckles, shaking his head.   
“You think you can get away with that because of your migraine, don´t you?”  
Richard blinks, eyes big and slightly glazed, the pills taking effect.   
“Uh-huh.”  
And because Lee loves Richard, he gives a sigh and tells him with a crimson face about the time he was on his fathers farm with a friend and things got a little heated. Richard dimly wonders if Lee will faint if he gets any redder in the face but listens with rapt attention.   
“Well, everything was fine, until my dad thought we were burglars and used a pitchfork to poke into the hay we were..enjoying our little field trip.”  
Richard stares at him for a moment, mouth twitching and a hand resting in Lees lower back. He sits up as much as he can, presses his lips to Lees ear.  
“You know, when I feel better – I _am_ going to ravish you.”  
Lee simply licks his lips  
“Promise?”  
Richard grins.   
“Promise.”


	103. Weekend Getaway the Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard feels better and Lee is just a tad to tempting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I felt the need for some porny stuff while gulping down cough drops. Hopefully our boys have fun :) And you guys a wonderful weekend

Richard wakes in the middle of the night, slightly worried when he first doesn't know where he as before he remembers. Weekend getaway , right. James is with Betsy for two fays and he trusts the woman because - well, it is hard to descripe, especially in his line of work trust isn't easy to come by or feel towards other people. But he does trust her and he trusts Lee in his judgement, believes the other man that he deeply cares for James besides his own issues. He wishes he could take the demons still haunting his partner away and banish them for all eterniy, but he knows that some wishes will stay wishes.   
He gives Lee a sidelong glance, smiling at the way the younger mans hair flops down intomhis eyey and his mouth is slightly open. He just fell asleep despite claiming to be wide awake. It had been a gruesome day - they had been followed around as if New York suddenly lacked all other celebs. Well, it was more or less their own fault, not that he minded getting the attention for something good. Lee scrunches up his nose in his sleep, making Richards heart flutter in his chest before he finally lets sleep take him once more.  
When he wakes up next, the bed beside him is empty and cold, so he sits, scanning the room for signs of Lee. First in vain but the Lee enters the room, clad in nothing but a bathrobe and a smile.   
"I hope you are up for a massage? Oh and we can have breakfast afterwards."  
He purrs. Food is the farthest thing from Richards mind right now, but he swallows that comment, not wanting Lee to feel too smug. His eyes dart none the less to Lees crotch and Lee blushes.  
"I have the feeling that you want to skip the plans I made?"  
He asks and Richard practically stalks towards Lee , nodding.   
"Well, the massage isn't running away, now is it?"  
No, it isn't. Lees libido however is doing a good job at it.  
"What are you waiting for? Come over here."  
Richard all but growls, tugging at Lee - well, not directly at Lee himself but at the belt of his robe, loosening it and taking a deep breath. Underneath the robe, Lee wears nothing. Not even boxers.  
"You weren't kidding when you said we wouldn't waste our time when I would feel better."  
Yes, he had said that and meant it. Richard steps closer,pulling until the robe slips from Lees shoulders and pools around his feet. The belt rests loosely in Richards hands and an idea creeps into Richards mind.  
"I did promise to ravish you, didn't I?"  
Of course he remembers that very well and he hasn't got the slightest doubt that Lee does too  
"Yes, I seem to recall that. You really like that belt, don't you."  
Without another word Richard motions for Lee to hold out his hands, praying that Lee won't run for the hills and thinking that he lost his mind. Lee stares at the innocent piece of cloth, swallowing once , then again but he silently sticks out his hands. Richard shakes his head.  
"No, I want you to kneel on the bed, legs nicely spread. Can you do that?"  
Lee is silent for a moment,but then he does as he is asked. Trust. This is also about trust and they both know it very well. Still Richard tries to enjoy the view without thinking to much. And he has to concentrate on tying Lees habds together behind his back. Richard takes his time but he can see and feel that Lee is very on board with the idea and squishes down the urge to make some horrible, horrible puns of them being up for it. Instead he presses a kiss into the hollow of Lees throat as he rounds him to see if he is really okay. Oh, yes he is.  
"Can you try and hold that pose for me?"  
The eyes of the younger man are a tad glassy and he has to take a deep breath before he nods, slow but sure. Richard licks his lips.  
"Can I ...can I take a picture of you?"  
He doesn't know why he asks that all of a sudden, after all the time they spent together. His thoughts stray for a moment back to the faithful day that ended with a baseball bat in his hands and how much time has passed, how many hurdles they had to jump. He is so lost in his memories that he barely hears Lee answer.  
"Anything you want."  
It makes something in Richard constrict before he crawls behind Lee, tilts his head back and engages him in a loving deep kiss that draws a moan from them both. Richard nearly forgets what he wants to do for a moment but he spies his phone discarded on the bedside table and snatches it with trembling hands.  
"I only do it if you want it, too."  
Lee breathes in and out several times before he turns his head, eyes open and bright.  
"Do it."  
Trust, Richard reminds himself, trying to get the shaking of his hands under control. He manages eventually and takes several snapshots, each one a little different because Lee isn't a still life after all. Laying the phone back onto the nightstand he starts placing kisses on Lees skin, delighted at every sound he draws but not stopping. He enjoys the way Lees muscles flex under his touch, how easily Lee could open the knots of his bindings, but doing nothing of the sort.   
He is shaking under Richards hands , moaning when lips follow the path of sure fingers.  
"You like that, being at my mercy?"  
Lee says nothing but the shudder raking his body tells Richard all he needs to know. Something a little darker crawls through his body and mind but still he is gentle, lets his fingers wander down and slight into heat that threatens to swallow him whole. God knows he is fine with that, can feel it throbbing between his legs , yet he makes sure that Lee really wants it. He doesn't really need to fear, because Lee arches against him, eyes shining with unshed tears after a while. Yes, Richard takes his time, wants to prove a point once and for all when they finally connect, long since gone past condoms. Trust, Richard repeats like a mantra to himself, sliding deeper, latching onto Lees neck with lips and teeth. By the time he finishes Lee is a mess, damp lashes glistening tempingly when Richard flips them, loosens the belt of the bathrobe from around Lees wrist and kisses them. That is when Lee lets go and Richard watches quietly for a moment, lets himself be pulled into Lees arms. They don't speak at all but there also is no need for it.


	104. Friends, Enimies and Stag Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which plans are made without our boys knowing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter :D *dances* Where there is a wedding, there is a Stagnight *nods*

“Do you know what the great thing about weddings is, mate?”  
Lee pauses for a moment, dangerously balanced on a ladder , arms laden with books. He really shouldn´t have this conversation with Martin right now, not when he has to concentrate on getting everything back in order after that last holiday sale. Richards face comes unbidden to mind with a merry chuckle at the image he must present to the world right now, muttering about that one of these days he is gonna turn old and gray over the simple fact that some people weren´t able to put back a book they didn´t want to purchase after all. With a heavy sigh he climbed gingerly down the ladder, sidestepping James who giggled.   
“What´s so funny?”  
He wanted to know, looking down over the boys shoulder who was immersed in a comic book but simply shook his head. Martin smirked. Lee wasn´t sure he liked that at all when an elderly lady walked into the store, distracting him. The Weekend still lingered on his mind and the smile he wore was stretching about his face when he turned to her. She smiled a bit, wringing her hands.   
“I ..uh. I came here to buy a book.”  
Martin gave a snort, but covered it quickly and Lee didn´t blink while handing out yet another copy of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ Everyone after their liking he had told Martin with a shrug and Martin had pointed out that Lee would probably know everything described in such books by heart right now. Lee turned scarlet, making James giggle again.   
“You don´t look like a stag.”   
James said and something dawned on Lee. He gulped slightly trying to ignore the glint in Martins eye. Worse – Richard wasn´t around to save him because he had a meeting with Graham of some sort. Little did Lee know that Richard was currently staring at Graham with a thunderous expression that made paparazzi cower in fear. Graham was unfazed and grinned, spreading his hands.   
“No.”  
Richard said and Graham just smirked at him, wriggling his eyebrows. Meanwhile Lee turned on his heel, facing the nearest wall and thumping his head against it twice before he took a breath.   
“I literally get no sale in that at all, do I?”  
Martin righted his tie, raked a hand through his hair and tried to look innocent. A look that didn´t really work on him. James tugged on Lees pant leg and he looked down at the beaming boy.   
“Can I come with you? Uncle Martin said there will be dancing and stuff. Oh can I come, please , pretty please?”  
Lees eyes wandered back and forth between the two of them. He had to sit down for a moment, eyes crossing at the thought how he could explain to James that the kind of dancing Martin had been referring to wasn´t suitable for children. Not in the slightest.   
“I think that will be past your bedtime, sugar. But I am sure there will be a lot of parties where you can dance. And you can dance at the wedding, what do you think of that?”  
He prayed that James would not sulk and this time his prayers were heard. Thank God for small miracles. Richard, on the other end of town, looked at Graham without a change in expression. He wasn´t convinced.   
“Are you telling me you ordered me here because you want to get me drunk on a so called stag night? And that Martin is in on that?”  
Graham raised his eyebrows higher, grinning. Richard cursed and pondered what the difference between friends and enemies was and if there would be any. He couldn´t find one right now, a fact that Graham waved off.   
“You´ll see, it will do you both good. Being around each other all the time is the thing you will have for the rest of your life.”  
Richard gave a snort but caved in. There would be nothing happening he didn´t want after all, he just wondered if Lee would agree if Martin was on the mission to whisk him away from everything for a night.   
“Wait a minute and tell me again who is planning that for me?”  
Lees eyes widened as Betsy entered the shop, together with Luke and Simon.   
“Hello there, cutie pie. Ready to get your cherry popped?”  
Martin barked out a laugh, helpfully supplying that it would be a little to late for that while Lee covered James ears. With friends like that, there wouldn´t be a need for enemies.   
“Fine fine, so when will this take place.”  
The way Luke smirked wasn´t reassuring either, considering that he was the quiet one of the bunch of people gathered in the store.  
“Best grab your coat, Lee. Those guys are not really the waiting type.”  
He had a brilliant idea, gesturing at James, his only hope right now because he didn´t like the idea that Richard wasn´t – he stopped his train of thought, narrowed his eyes and looked at Simon, who was inspecting his nails with the same fake innocence Martin had displayed.   
Richard , still frozen in something close to shock and sitting ramrod straight in the chair in Grahams office , staring transfixed at Dean, who in turn just shrugged. Him and Aidan had entered the office six minutes ago , carrying a keg.   
“And what is this?”  
Dean sighed, slinging an arm around Richards shoulders.   
“You poor thing. When was the last time you saw a beer up close and personal instead of something green?”  
Richard grimaced. It was true that they had gone from partying to parents and would do so after the wedding. He hesitated. Aidan leered and Graham leaned back in his chair, congratulating himself on his planning. He really deserved an award for that. Before he could start to get lost in his thoughts he speed dialed Martin.   
“So, how is your candidate?”  
Martin chuckled darkly, looking at Lee who slipped into his jacket after telling Betsy she would be a traitor for taking part in this and thus looking after James. Luke patted him on the back.   
“Come on, don´t look like that. It will be fun. And Richard will have his fun too, won´t he.”  
Martin gave him a thumps up and Lee could faintly hear that someone on the other end of the conversation Martin was having hollered something about emptying a keg of beer being a challenge and came to the realization that when you had friends like that you didn´t need enemies before being whisked away.


	105. Stag Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stag nights are had :D Silliness is happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a little silliness and drinks. Well, I just couldn´t resist :D

Richard knew in his heart that this was a test for his patience. And how drunk he could get. He never backed down from a challenge, that was sure and right now that challenge was a keg of beer in the middle of a room, and a limbo pole he eyed with what he hoped was an impressive glare. Graham beamed, raising a glass of beer. The keg suddenly seemed the least of his problems, if he had any.  
“Now now, don´t look like that or your face might stay like that. I don´t think Lee would approve.”  
Dean all but sing songed, checking in with Martin on the other end of town. They were on a mission after all.   
“Very funny.”

Richard said dryly, rubbing his palms together. He could do that. He was an award winning actor. Graham rolled his eyes and passed him a shot glass, clapping him on the back.  
“Move your arse. You drop it from your forehead, you strip. Move it.”  
Martin stared at rapt attention at his phone, then back at Lee who was licking his lips. “Card kissing?” Lee asked and narrowed his eyes again, swaying a little on his feet. Flipping his phone closed with a satisfied smirk he nodded, motioning for Luke to hand him the cards,   
“Yeah, you pass them on, you drop them, you drink this.”   
His head snapped to Luke.   
“You won´t drop them on purpose, will you Luke?”  
Luke batted his eyelashes in what Lee clearly could see was faked innocence. This was going to be interesting.   
By the time it was four in the morning both of them albeit on different sides of town are drunk enough to be herded into cabs and Richard doesn´t even register that the keg of beer is empty while Lee wonders how the hell that lipstick came to be on his shirt collar and who planted it there before the fuzzy memory of Luke doing so under catcalls and wolf whistles did so. Richard wears no shirt whatsoever when he stumbles from the door into the living room because there had been a gaggle of very enthusiastic woman that had wanted to participate in the games, much to everyone´s amusement and there had gone his dress shirt. Hiccuping he fumbles a bit for the door only to fall through the door that is yanked open against something hard, that on further inspection is Lee.  
“Howdy.”  
He breathes out on a giggle and Lees eyes widen.  
“Oh my God. They got you too.”  
He tries to speak but it comes out a little slurred -well, a lot slurred and isn´t it all so funny.   
“You know, this ain´t proper, Rich. You have..you -we , you know – them.”  
Richard nods in empathic understanding, getting that Lee wants to describe with the flailing of his hands that they have the worst friends in history.   
“They are so, so..”  
He tries and Lee bobs his head, dragging Richard over to the sofa where Richard narrows his eyes a bit.   
“You wear lipstick.”  
Observation is good, especially if you are drunk. Yeah, the sarcasm never leaves the actor but he has the faint impression that Lee doesn´t mind the way he raises his eyebrows, bursting into giggles.   
“What?”  
A finger traces his chest under his coat.   
“At least I am wearing _something_ you know babe. Very charming.”  
In pure alarm Richard looks down at himself and blinks before giving a sigh of relief when he sees that he _is_ wearing pants before shrugging off his coat and snuggling up against the warm body on the sofa in the living room. They should move, or take a shower. Or both. The thing is, coordination also is rather tricky when you are hammered.   
“Sooo..”  
Lee says bright eyed and wildly curious.   
“Who got that shirt?”  
Richard knits his brows together remembering a rather busty woman in the bar they had ended up introducing herself as Gabby Schmitz and a big fan and _Can I have your shirt to hang in my bedroom, please_ He had shrugged and given it to her and by the time she had screeched and taken off he had all but forgotten about her. With another frown he stares at the place where Lees shirt has ridden up to reveal skin, now that wouldn´t be a problem but there is something drawn on his hipbone. Richard leaned closer, poking at it with his fingertips.  
“Hey! No poking!”  
Lees head lolled a little to the side but Richard could make out the pout on his face and crawled over him.   
“What is that?”  
He licks his lips and Lees mouth forms a little _Oh_ because he suddenly remembers the brilliant idea Simon had whispered into his ear about edible body paint and selling himself as a living canvas. He had protested though and only offered his leg up to his hip. Richard narrowed his eyes, gaze flickering to the bundle of fifty dollar notes lying crumpled on the coffee table.   
“I am going to sue that tosser.”  
Lee smirked. Richard groaned before yanking on Lees pants with vigor, a treacherous ripping sound echoing through the otherwise silent room.   
“You know he is a lawyer?”  
Richard nodded again, licking his lips and Lee couldn´t resist running his fingers through Richards hair.  
“Don´t care. What are you gonna do with that money anyway.”  
Lee tittered.  
“Martin suggested I should hide them in my garter belt.”  
That made Richard look up with hooded eyes and Lee swatted at him halfheartedly before giving up and closing his eyes while Richard sucked on his hipbone, smearing the paint there with his lips and thus messing up his face.   
“You never told me you have one.”  
Lee wriggled his eyebrows.   
“Honey, you should see me in a crown.”  
For a moment Richard was silent, eyes bugging out of his head and then he laughed until tears were running down his face. Actually he laughed so much that his ribs began to hurt. Not impressed in the slightest by that Lee wriggled under him, tugging on the loops of his jeans. Thank god he had foregone the belt.   
“Just you wait. Up with you.”  
Richard smirked, trying to control his laughter all the way they stumbled up the stairs, making it into the bedroom without breaking anything important. (Richard had always hated that Vase anyways).  
“Promise me something?”  
He says quietly, much too tired and tightly wrapped around Lee for either of them to do anything besides cuddling.  
“Hrm?”  
Lee is half asleep already.   
“James never gets to be around people like that when he´s grown up. You know love, bad influence and all that rubbish.”  
It takes Lee a while to catch on but he just giggles again, reminding Richard that it would be to late for that anyways.   
“Well, we are fucked.”  
Is the only thing Richard says and Lee grins broadly, pressing their noses together, aiming for a kiss and missing only slightly until the other man pulls him in.   
“Yep. You mind?”  
Richard doesn´t say anything but the smile is enough to know he doesn´t. Not one bit.


	106. Breakfast and Hangovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, there are certain downsides to a stag night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry about not posting yesterday but the flu finally got to me. Anyways I hope you enjoy and have a lovely day :)

Hangovers are not to be underestimated . In fact – they suck. Neither Richard or Lee say that out loud in the morning after the happenings of the infamous Stag Nights. The first to stir is Richard, eyes opening after eons of time for his liking with a throbbing head. He needs a few minutes to access where he is and who with, taking in a relieved breath when he snuggles closer against the warm body beside him and sighs until there is a loud banging sound.   
“Good morning, sunshine!”  
Lee groaned and Richard tried to remember how they made it into bed in the first place. He ignores it the moment a smiling face comes into his line of sight, followed by a pair of smirking eyes.  
“See James, they are awake and that is what you call a hangover.”  
James inspects both of them for a moment and Richard feels the need to kill Betsy right there but refrains from doing so for numerous reasons. And he has a lot of questions for her, like how they hell she got in their house   
“Shouldn´t have given her a spare key.”  
Lee mumbled against his shoulder.   
“Woman.”

Richard chuckled a bit as Lee was cuffed by her before he finally crawled out of bed. Literally so in the search of his shoes and giving up after a while, deciding for a shower and practically dragging Lee along. It took another hour for them to gingerly make their way downstairs where not only Betsy and James awaited them but also Graham, Martin and Luke. They all had equally evil and quite matching grins that were accompanied by a round of applause.   
“I am so proud of you mate, I almost shed a tear as Graham here told me about your dancing skills. Better yet he taped it.”  
Richard flushed deeply and made a beeline for Grahams phone that was promptly yanked out of his grasp by Lee who watched in rapt attention.   
“Very bendy, I have to say. Impressive.”  
When James tried to get a look at the video Lee quickly shut it down and handed the phone back, steering the pouting boy away with the promise of hot chocolate and marshmallows. Richard still looked like a fire hydrant and it didn´t help that Luke and Martin egged him on and teased him merciless about the happenings of the previous night.   
“Oh but Lee had a fun night as well, didn´t he?”  
Lee paled a little. Richard eyeballed him so long and hard he felt his eyes start to burn.   
“Oh?”  
Luke draped an arm around Lees shoulders in a sympathetic way the other man was all too familiar with and knew what would come out of it.   
“Yes, you see – there was this stage – and ..well.”  
Whipping out his phone he showed Richard exactly how well Lee could move around a pole even if he claimed not to be able too. Richard stared, Lee found the floor very interesting, cheeks heating a little more. He would never live that down.   
“I can see that it was a fun night for everyone.”

He remarked dryly, pulling Lee close and whispering something in his ear that made him blush so hard Luke raised his eyebrows in question but didn´t ask. He had a pretty good idea what was being whispered and didn´t want to say it when innocent ears were present. Martin rolled his eyes. 

“Get a room you two.”  
Richard smirked.   
“We have a house. “  
He commented dryly and Lee chuckled.   
“Actually I just dropped your car off, Lee. I´ll be on my way or else Simon will send a search party after me.”  
He said before saying his goodbyes and winking. Betsy narrowed her eyes a bit but said nothing to it but Lee noticed. She had always been rather observant. Martin shrugged.   
“I came for breakfast and to see if you look like hell. Apparently some people don´t do that after a night like that, shame, really. Well then, I´ ll be off.”  
He said and grinned before leaving as well. Graham cleared his throat.   
“Have you decided on a theme yet? And a guest list?”  
Leave it to Graham to bring business into that while wolfing down a bowl of cereals, encouraging James to do the same before Richard reminds him of table manners throwing Graham a look. They had their guest list together and he pointed towards the fridge where it was stuck with a Disney magnet. Graham gave a snort but said nothing else before continuing to eat for a few minutes.   
“You should try to look a little less hung over in an hour or so. “  
Lee raised his eyebrows.   
“Because?”  
He didn´t like to ask such questions because he knew that something he wouldn´t like mostly came out of it and yet – he did it again.   
“Because Shannon from E!Entertaiment is coming over with her crew to film a little home story about the two of you as I said to you a dozen times. Both of you. But that was before Tequila bodyshots.”  
Betsy gave a snort, shaking her head when Lees ears turned pink. Richard stayed silent for a moment, reaching for Lees fingers and interlacing them with his own. Everything was good between them and he wanted Lee to know that. The younger man gave him a grateful smile.   
“If she asks dumb questions I´ll kick her butt over the moon.”  
They both had no doubt that Betsy would do that if asked but they declined the offer and she had to be home, joking that her own husband wouldn´t recognize her anymore if she wouldn´t come home now and then.   
Taking a deep breath Lee raked a hand through his hair. He had known that it would come to this the closer it got to the wedding but would have appreciated a bit of a warning – and probably chickened out of it. Looking around he noticed with satisfaction that the place wasn´t a mess and breathed a sigh of relief.   
“It will be fine darling, what could go wrong?”   
James looked at them then, spoon halfway raised to his mouth.  
“I´ll protect you, too.”  
No, Lee thought than with a slightly watery smile -there wasn´t anything that could go wrong before quickly pressing a kiss to the boys head making even Graham smile in something close to awe.


	107. Homestory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The homestory :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd on we go :D

Shannon from E! Gives them a bright doe eyed grin and smells like as if she had bathed in Chanel Number 5 for a good few hours but other than that she seems rather nice, giving Richard a bright smile and hugging him tightly with a squeal that is hurting Lees eardrums but he has to smile at the same time because Richard looks over his shoulder mouthing for Lee to save him. Lee merely chuckles, masking it as a cough.  
“Aw, are you sick? Here.”  
She nestles in her purse and gets out cute Barbie printed tissues . Richard gives a little snort but Lee accepts it none the less with a grateful smile and wipes his nose while Shannon tells her that she has tissues and wet wipes in her purse because she has three daughters, better safe than sorry. At that Richard smiles a little and clears his throat for a moment.   
“So, the two of you are not simply hot as hell but you know how to cook.”  
She gives a sigh, flopping down on the Sofa where Lee has pointed her to sit, doing the same with Richard and James by his side. James, bless him – eyes Shannon wearily with a plastic sword in his hands, narrowing his eyes and trying to follow everything she says. Richard just smiles at that, convincing James that Shannon is nice with quiet words that convince the boy in the end that Shannon really isn´t a dragon or something else that is nasty.   
“Well, I think Lee is more the One of us trying to cook.”  
Richard chuckled and Lee blushed a bit because he knew just what _trying_ had meant back then. Sure, they managed , had learned. It is however not what Shannon wants to know. She wants to know how they ended up with that house and with a son – a question that makes the floor disappear beneath Lees feet because he hasn´t prepared for that kind of questions, will never be ready and he hopes. Hopes Richard will be able to press into words what he isn´t able to say out loud.  
“James here is our son. And we love him just like any other parent would do, despite the things that happened.”  
Lee simply nods while Shannon coos a bit at the sight of little James snuggling between his parents. Yeah, they have come a long way Lee muses, shaking his head once Shannon aims a question at him and cursing when he has to ask again because his thoughts are miles away.   
“I know you have been asked that before , but I just wanted to know what you made you fall in love – know that Richard here is the One for you.”  
God if Lee would know, would have rehearsed answers to questions like that – maybe he would know how to answer fast and proper but he doesn´t. He knows that he loves Richard because of his smile and the way the both of them connect, and no – he doesn´t know when he first noticed because he thinks that love would come slowly and would need to build up, if she got what he meant. Richard for his part just stared for a moment, blinking before giving a smile that made everything so much better for the moment.   
“So, tell me about the purple house?”  
At that James just frowns asking his parents who the hell would like to live in a purple house before he is reminded of his manners.   
“Ah yeah.”  
Richard says and tries to keep the manic laughter out of his voice while they show Shannon upstairs and into James room which he proudly presents to her and the camera. Lees face is a stoic mask for a moment.   
“Well, Carl didn´t like it -so that was that.”  
Raising her eyebrows she wants to ask who Carl is until the dog comes running into the room giving a happy barking sound.   
“So, Carl doesn´t like purple.”  
Shannon concludes with an amused note in her voice making Lee grinning from ear to ear – neither had they- Briefly they talk about the accidents and she knows how to get a good percentage of viewers when over a cup of tea she asks how they felt when their significant other was on the brink of death. It takes Lee a moment but he is the first to answer   
“It feels like dying, what do you think it feels like?”  
His voice is icy and calmer than he thinks and Richard says nothing but he closes his eyes and gets out the cake for a moment, trying to take a breath before breaking down and yelling at Shannon for asking something like that – how dare she? She quickly backs off knowing that she took a step too far and also quickly changes the subject.  
“So Richard, how does one settle down in New York with a career like that?”  
Richard sighs for a moment, trying to ignore the throbbing in his temples. He is well prepared for questions like that and answers them with something close to charm and it seems to work just fine because Shannon smiles so brightly at them that he almost buys it.   
“Wonderful.”  
She says after a while, taking a few shots of them with her camera completely ignoring the fact that they are filmed anyways. She is nice enough but it also drains them both after a while.. Not that they are bad hosts. They show her everything she wants to see and most of things make her smile in awe and comment of just what a lovely home they have. They are both glad for it when they close the door behind her and Richard grins against Lees neck for a moment.   
“We survived it. “  
He says after a moment of blissful silence and Lee just grins at him and shakes his head.   
“Yeah, we did. And we don´t have to live in a purple house and never will have to do so as long as the both of us are able to see.”  
Richard smiles and laughs a little at that.   
“True – and James didn´t have to slay her with his sword.”  
Lee says nothing to that, just tugs Richard against his side.  
“I do hope it will be a pleasant surprise when we see what they filmed.”  
Richard hopes so,too.


	108. All the little things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planning a wedding isn´t that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our next chapter :D *rubs hands together* Have a lovely weekend <3

The first bout flowers for the wedding arrive two weeks after Shannon had her home story, so Lee finds Richard in the kitchen staring at what should be bright and sunny flowers but aren´t. The color of his face matches the red tie he is wearing while he shouts at someone on the other end of the line.  
“I will not stay fucking calm! This aren´t the flowers we ordered. NO! They aren´t for a funeral, for Christssake. Yes, a wedding.”  
Lee choked on his coffee but otherwise remains calm, taking the phone from Richards shaking hands. By god he can understand why Richard is fuming. The whole house is buzzing with people that decorate and advise where who should sit during the reception. He dimly feels the headache come on when he hears something clatter and break in the living room.  
“Georgio, look out where you go with that camera cable – oh shit.”  
He can´t even grab Richard so fast the other man is on his way to Georgio, who is a simple cameraman not really awake yet and in for the beating of his life if Richard ever gets his fingers on him. He gets that they have to rehearse filming but -  
“Why do they have to hire morons?”  
He growls, grabbing Lees coffee and downing it in one gulp before he widens his eyes and makes a run for the bathroom. No, not a good morning Lee dryly concludes in his head before following his partner with a sigh, thanking the gods that James is not in the house and currently in preschool. Pinching the bridge of his nose he opens the door to the bathroom to see Richard leaning with his head against the mirror looking pale and drawn.  
“You want me to send them away?”  
He doesn´t care if Graham will throw a fit if Richard doesn´t feel well with that. By god, he too is jumping out of his skin all morning and it won´t get better if they both look like hell warmed over. That sentence, of what could go wrong – it comes back to bite them in the ass. Not quite literally but just this morning everything that could go wrong does. It starts easily enough with the cake order being misplaced but quickly found again much to everyone’s relief. By the time that crisis is adverted Carl, lovely , obedient Carl decides to finally have it out with the mailman and bite him into the leg. Now Chester Donaldson isn´t the friendliest person on the planet and divorced four times but still, they could do without him suing them. Casting that aside Lee repeats the question.  
“What do you think?”  
Richard snaps and regrets it a moment later but Lee understands and tells the T.V crew to take a break and come back tomorrow before he wanders into the kitchen only to step back. Why are his feet wet? His eyes dart to the sink where someone had the brilliant idea to empty something that wouldn´t go through the drain. He feels ready to scream but grabs the painkillers for Richard as he had intended and that are hidden in the back of the kitchen cupboard so James can´t reach them before calling a plumber.   
“Lee?”  
Closing his eyes he counts to ten and hands Richard two pills with a glass of water and what he hopes is a winning smile.   
“Yes?”  
He tries and prays against all hope that Richard won´t notice the water pooling around their feet.   
“Why is there water around your feet.”  
Lee sighs, rakes a hand through his hair.   
“Indoor pool gone wrong.”  
He says and it sounds so desperate and whiny that Richard has to snort despite his aching head.   
“I already called a plumber.”  
That makes Richard look up with a grateful little smile before he sits down, trying to get a sense of calm back into his mind and failing only slightly.   
“What about the mailman?”  
Richard ask without really wanting to know and Lee waved it off.   
“He´ll live.”   
Richard smirked but bit back the reply he had on his tongue before pressing his aching head to Lees shoulder before stepping back.   
“Carl should have bitten him into his fat arse you know. He is snooping through our mail anyways.”  
At that Lee gives a wide eyed look and doesn´t feel sorry for the man anymore. He hadn´t done so in the first place anyways but now he agrees with Richard, if only in his mind.   
“You think we could train Carl and unleash him onto florists as well?”  
He asks with something close to hope in his voice that makes Lee let out a giggle. He doubts it and given the circumstances that should be the least of their troubles.   
“Oh before I forget, the dancing lessons are starting tomorrow. I called and confirmed.”  
Lee grimaces a bit at that but he agrees – they have to make a good impression. Not really for the press but he wants to show the world that they are in tune and he fears a bit the spatula of Richards mother, which he tells the other man with a slightly horrified expression. Richard simply cackles.   
“If that is all you afraid of considering you agree to spend the rest of your days with me I should consider myself lucky.”  
It should sound lighthearted but it falls in between them like a heavy wooden object. Lee for his part is equally as terrified as Richard when it comes to certain things but he also knows that this what they both want. Minus the drenched socks and wrong flowers or a mailman that is intending to sue them for what could be considered a bruise at best.   
“We are, you know.”  
He says instead , eyes crinkling when Carl comes bouncing in and looks at them with an innocent expression.   
“How about you stay here and wait for the plumber and I go, pick up James?”  
With a sigh Richard agrees because he isn´t really fit enough to drive but a plumber he could handle. And if said plumber tried to trick him into paying more than appropriate, well – he gave Carl a lopsided smile and sneezed while petting the dog.   
“What?”  
He tries and Lee grins over his shoulder, grabbing the car keys.  
“Nothing.”  
Is all he says and Richard grins only slightly evil.


	109. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dancing lesson :D

Crisis is a thing neither of them can hear anymore by the time the rightful flowers arrive but they still have to pay for the wrongly delivered ones because Lee had signed off on them in the hectic pace their life had been taken on as of late. He had felt ready to cry by the time the plumber had told them that he wouldn´t have the rightful spare parts to fix their drain right now. Crisis is what Lee feels looming over his head when they enter the little dancing studio. Now, he really can´t dance well or at least he hasn´t tried so in the last few years but he is willing to try for Richard. It doesn´t help that he is visibly shaking by the time they enter the room.   
“Relax.”  
Richard says and tries to keep his smirk a little to himself seeing how panicked Lee seems until he realizes that Lee is really in panic and he wonders why on earth that sets him off so much right now. In his heart he knows why , hears the murmured whispers of people doubting them from the beginning and whispering lies behind their backs and sighs for a moment , pressing his lips together. 

“I mean it can´t be that bad and if you really feel uncomfortable ..Lee – come on, it won´t be that bad.”  
He tries to sound reassuring but he knows it comes out like he is pissed – which he is. He is pissed at everyone right now, Lee included but takes a breath instead, shoving his hands into his pockets.   
“I know. I just.. I just don´t want to make you look bad in front of everyone. I know it is silly but at the moment I feel like I can do nothing right and the urgent need to cry every few minutes – and I am not pregnant, thanks for asking. “  
Richard just stares and tries to hold in the sudden urge to laugh but only succeeds after he tells himself that Lee is dead serious and feels like crawling out of his skin at the prospect of dancing, like he did with swimming - and still does.   
“You won´t. And what do other people have to judge about us anyway? They have no bloody right, never had.”  
Lee knows and tries to get his nerves under control. It isn´t the dancing he is that worried about , it is more the fact that it is being filmed.   
“I know. I just hope you won´t mind marrying a klutz.”  
So this isn´t really about the dancing. Well, not all is about the dancing.   
“As long as you don´t mind marrying a moody actor who threatened a reporter to stuff their microphones where the sun don´t shine – no.”  
That has Lee smiling again and he takes another breath when they are greeted by their dance instructor which turns out to be an old friend of Richard much to his surprise. Leon is grinning from ear to ear and cooing. Yes, he is and he even gets away with pinching Richards buttcheek on the way to the changing rooms were thankfully no press is waiting.   
“I threw them out. You know I like my lessons private Richard, sorry. They can take pictures afterward or whatever you like but they won´t film. I know those people.”  
Richard chuckles a bit at the image of Leonard who is two heads shorter than him throwing out a bunch of reporters but judging by what he remembers from the other mans personality he isn´t really surprised.   
“Now..”  
Leonard muses, clacks his tongue and looks Lee up and down with a approving stare.   
“You seem at least a bit bendy, which is good but my dear boy your posture. My.”  
Lee blinks for a moment as the smaller man moves around him and straightens him out, bends him forth and back until something cracks distinctive in the small of his back.   
“Good. Now I assume the two of you will want to learn something fierce? Something to spice things up , you know.”  
He moves his hips forward for a moment making Richard choke slightly on the sip of water he was about to swallow before laughing brightly.  
“Oh I see, you want to have a classic waltz but One could try.”   
He motions for them to go into position after they have warmed up and gives a more or less heartfelt sigh before moving behind Lee and grabbing his arms, guiding him.   
“Just close your eyes, this isn´t a competition and by god do not concentrate so much on your feet or you will stumble and poor Richard will have the feet that are closer to Donald Duck than anything else.”  
Richard just throws him a look but shakes his head, taking Lees hands in his own, starting the routine again. Lee manages to step on his feet only a few times but can despite his own believes dance quite well. Leonard doesn´t comment on the way Richard can´t use his leg the way he used to back when they first met in London years ago and he gently corrects each step that is wrong until they all but float over the dance floor.   
“Now that is a look I am aiming for. If you had told me a few years ago that you of all people are getting married and need to learn how to waltz again I would have bet my hair – which I at this point I still had.”  
He says with a dramatic wave of his rather bold head that makes Richard snort and burrow his head in Lees neck who feels the stress of the last few hours and days drain away finally.   
“Okay, five minute break. You do very well but I promise you once you leave here you will be perfect. That is my goal.”  
Lee just raises his eyebrows but says nothing, gliding down the mirrored wall in the studio and taking another breath.   
“Lee?”  
Richard says after a moment to Lee , crawls over to him and sits atop his legs.   
“Hrm?”  
He says and opens his eyes only then realizing he had closed them in the first place, smiling when gentle fingers glide through the hair on the nape of his neck.   
“You´re happy right?”  
Lee just stares for a moment before nodding, pulling Richard in for a kiss that grows a bit deeper until someone behind them clears their throat.   
“And you are sure the only thing you want to do is refresh the waltz?”  
Richard says nothing but the look he gives Lee is enough.


	110. After Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Dancing Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this will be finished soon it seems but still , it has been a lot of fun so far and there are plently of other fics on the horizon (if you want to read , that is :D)

Leonard feels like he should say something but doesn´t. There is an ugly vein throbbing in his head but he stays calm. He tries to at least and ponders what would be the outcome if he would strangle that photographer trying to get decent pictures of the duo while dancing. He says nothing to it, just raises his eyebrows a fraction higher before throwing the man out too. It doesn´t matter that he protests, after all this isn´t a zoo he says making Lee who is taking a breath from the lesson.   
“Now what are you smiling about?”  
He asks and Lee just grins wider, taking Richards hand as he is helped up and dragged into a kiss that makes Leonard clear his throat again and put his hands on his hips.   
“You guys are really cute with that lovey dovey stuff but we are on a mission here – Richard, baby – don´t look at me like that, you know I won´t melt into a puddle or vanish into thin air.”  
Lee presses his lips together to force down the bout of giggles that desperately wants to escape but he doesn´t quite succeed and Richard just stares at him for a moment and stalks closer where he is taking a break.   
“Uh-oh.”  
He says and his eyes light up in mischief when Richard pounces and they engage in a full blown tickle fight that ends with Richard straddling Lee and Lee has a hard time to focus on anything – like where they are and that there is someone else with them when Richard sits atop him with a heaving chest. Leonard uses the moment to clear his throat again and Richard blinks. Damn.   
“I guess we could take a break and continue tomorrow? Since you already know most of the steps anyway.”  
Subtle wasn´t one of Leonards character traits, that much was for sure. With a dark flush Lee turns his head away, clears his throat and nods. Richard leans in at that moment, whispering in his ear all the little things (and not so little ones) he wants to do with him when they finally get home but Lee doesn´t move from under him, ears bright pink. Richard moves and smiles a bit dirty. Scratch that, a lot dirty.   
“I´ll just pretend my phone is ringing until you are up and ready to go and then I am gonna get hammered and pretend I still would have love life like that. “  
He sighs and Richard wonders for a moment if it would be terrible rude to drag Lee into the next broom closet to have his way with him but then decides against it and helps the younger man up for the second time.   
“You know I don´t want to know what Leonard might think of me – or us”  
Lee says after they have left the studio, blush rising still high on his cheeks. Richard just smirks and grins lovingly at the other man, raising his eyebrows   
“I doubt he would think something wrong about us, now would he.”  
Now Richard just plays unfair and Lee tells him so but the Englishman just laughs and blindly grasps at Lee belt when they are through the front door. There is no way they will make up the stairs but neither does complain because Richard kisses and sucks a dark bruise on Lees collarbone before the other man moans and Richard himself gets out of his pants, licking a wet stripe from Lees chest to his erection, eyes unfocused and more pupil then color. Lee gives a little whimper but he pushes himself up enough to force Richard back and climbs on top of him, eyes hungry and wild.   
“You are just teasing me.”  
He rasps between kisses, guides Richards hands ever lower and around himself.   
“Well..you blush so nicely.”  
He says but Lee just stares at him.   
“So..you like ..to watch?”  
He asks , all fake innocence and Richard is reduced to stare at the man above him, touching and teasing himself, face flushed and trembling before he pulls off, swings his legs over Richards shoulders with tousled hair.  
“Gods..”  
He grits out, moving against Lee before he is pulled in and he has no illusion that this is at least a bit painful but Lee just blinks the stray tears away before he can place kisses on Lees eyelids and stills for a moment.   
“Lee.”  
He breathes, can´t say anything else because his eyes sting all of a sudden and he feels idiotic for it until Lees hands are in his hair and they are moving together, Lees voice quiet and gentle in his ear, lips pressed to his temples, fingers splayed on his back and exploring the skin there until he can´t hold on anymore. Sinking back into the cushions he gives a little sigh, petting Richards head.   
“What?”  
Richard asks after a moment of silence and grins against Lees damp skin. Lee gives a pout, turning his head away for a moment because he doesn´t want Richard to see the broad and rather stupid grin spreading on his features before he blinks and gives a pout.   
“Well, seeing as this is your fault. You with your dance moves and eyes and...everything - I demand that you pamper me for the rest of the day.”  
Until James needs to be picked up, he quietly adds in his mind but they know that anyways without it needing saying.   
“And what would that include?”

Richard dares to say and Lee narrows his eyes at the older man before pouting. A pout that makes Richard forget his intentions on getting up until Lee pokes him in the ribs.   
“Oi! What is that for?”  
In a well practiced gesture Lee throws his head back, sticking up his nose and gives a huff of annoyance that makes Richard only chuckle a bit.   
“Carry me?”  
Lee tries and sighs because he knows that won´t work, so he stands on his own, slowly moving up the stairs in all his naked glory “Sure I got that waltz right?” He throws over his shoulder and Richard, well he is only human after all.


	111. Making Vows - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting vows together is hard , especially if you are an actor not knowing how

Richard dimly wonders if they will be one of those couples who are giving people around them a hard time by grinning like idiots everyday while staring in the microwave. Lee is still asleep and James bounces around him in the expectation of breakfast, which will be an English one, thank you very much – no matter what Lee says. Lee, who is still asleep and hogging the covers, but that had been Richards plan.   
He loves Lee but for the next thing he has in mind he needs to have Lee out of his way, honestly thinking about letting James into his plans but James is a kid and children tend to say the truth. And see it. Thank god James believed them that they were just tired or something else when they slept in despite the slight flush on Lees cheeks and his stammering due to what really had happened. It also didn´t help that at breakfast the brilliant boy noticed the rather enormous hickey on Lees collarbone which Lee had explained to a mosquito (and Richard wasn´t beneath to make the whirring noises of one as he passed the other man in the kitchen,almost making Lee drop the milk he had in his hand)   
Right now however, he is a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth, glancing at the closed bedroom door, poking his head in. Lee is still soundly asleep, which is good and sets his plan into motion. Well , the first part of it. Shaking him by the shoulder he waits until he has an eye cracked open before he starts to talk at a rapid pace.   
“Good morning, darling. You don´t mind driving James to school after you wake up fully, because I have to run to the grocery store -we are out of broccoli.”  
Now, if Lee were awake there would be certain things he would notice. That it is a Sunday, for starters and that if James had school it would be Richards turn to drive him – or that neither of them would get up in the wee hours of the morning to buy broccoli. But he isn´t awake yet, just blinking and trying to get his fuzzy brain to work as he leans up on his elbows, the imprint of the pillow still on the left side of his face.   
“Okay.”  
He says and flops down, burrowing under the covers for another five minutes before slouching into the bathroom, looking in the mirror and deciding that it is on of those bad hair days, inspecting his body for eventual bite marks or other signs on his body. Finding none he showers and dresses quickly making his way in the kitchen where Richard is already ready to go and halfway out the door with a kiss on his cheek before he can wake up fully.  
“School?”  
Lee mulls it over for a minute or two with a frown and James just giggles, tugging on his hand.   
“I think Dad wants to surprise you. He is all jumpy.”  
Before Lee can say anything to that or at least think about it the doorbell rings and he opens the door to find Andy in front of it with a soccer ball clutched in his hands.   
“Good morning Andy.”  
He is glad that the boys after their first meeting which hadn´t been peaceful came around and even became friends, much with the help of Andys mother and father (who no doubt had gotten a stern talking to by his wife after she had learned what had set of the little argument between the kids).   
“Morning, Mr. Pace.”  
He says, popping a gum in his mouth and clearing his throat.   
“Is James home?”  
He asks with barely contained energy and Lee nods.   
“Sure, I was going to drop him off by the school though.”  
Lee manages after a minute and tries to blink the still lingering sleep from his eyes to follow why Andy is all but rolling his eyes.   
“Its Sunday Mr.Pace.”  
“Oh”  
He says and his eyes grow wide before he lets Andy in and sits back down at the kitchen table while motioning for James that it is okay to go into the garden and play with Andy. Meanwhile poor Richard is all but banging on Martins door.   
“I am coming, hold your bloody horses!”  
Martin says, cursing when he trips over something in the hall before opening the front door in a robe that would make Richard cackle if he wouldn´t be desperate.   
“You gotta help me. I need a book.”  
Martin just blinks and stares for a moment before he lets out a bark of laughter. This is the funniest thing he has heard all morning and probably the funniest thing he has heard in the last few months when Richard explains that he wants to write up his vows for the wedding and hasn´t got a clue where or how to start , hence the whole mess. Martin says nothing , just hands him a cup of tea and just stares at him.   
“So...let me get this straight – you are not knowing what to write in your vows and thus drive everybody around you bonkers?”  
Richard flushed a bit and thinks it over in his head.   
“Well.. if you put it this way.”  
He says and Martin just adds insult to injury by laughing more and telling Richard just how much of a worrywart he is and handing him a book with poems he claims belongs to his wife. So Richard comes home with a book cradled under his arm to the picture of Lee playing with two children in the garden and he feels bad for it until Lee gives him a smile that lights up everything in his face and assures Richard that no words could match what he feels.   
“Hey there – got the broccoli?”  
Lee says and Richard can´t help but laugh.


	112. Making Vows - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They aren´t good at that. But they try

Lee sighs, eyes on the paper in front of him that gently mocks him and sighs, leaning heavily on the counter of the bookstore. Martin eyes him with a weary glance and flips the book he isn´t reading close audibly.   
“All right. I´ve had enough of this.”  
He says and Lee jumps a little , expecting getting hit with something for some absurd reason, sending the piece of paper he was trying to come up with vows flying.   
“Excuse me?”  
Lee tries , blinking at Martin who is practically growling while rounding the counter and going nose to nose with Lee who in turn steps back. He doesn´t care about the customers milling around and staring right then as he drags Lee away who just in time can hastily grasp the notes he had taken and scratched again. He is just as hopeless as Richard with that without knowing. Martin, however knows, hands on his hips, eyes narrowed  
“The two of you, are gonna be the death of me, you know.”  
Lee dimly wonders if Martin and Graham have founded a group and meet every week or so to bemoan what a faith they have to endure due to Richard and him but quickly casts it aside trying to follow the rapid pace in which Martin is talking. 

“I mean, I am happy for you -really I am. So what if someone says otherwise or some press idiots write some bloody bullshit about you? Fuck them. Not the point, though. Point is – I like my Sundays uninterrupted. You know, sleep in, get breakfast with my wife and ignoring her comments about the carpeting that needs changing.”  
Again, Lee is left blinking. He feels his mouth moving but no words come out of it, so Martin takes that as a sign to continue.   
“What I don´t need on a sunny Sunday morning is some manic actor ambushing me, demanding my help in finding a book – which is hilarious in all the wrong reasons.”  
Martin takes a breath and one step closer. He has to crane up his head to look Lee in the eye but it is worth it. So very worth it now he has the chance of letting it all out.   
“You know, an actor that demands a book about vows on a Sunday morning is a pretty hilarious thing if you are awake. Point is, I am guessing that you wear that expression because you think he holds something back from you – which I can´t blame you for because the two of you, you really have the talent to fuck those things up – when you aren´t busy fucking each other.”  
Lee blushes a deep red but Martin isn´t fazed.   
“Martin...”  
He says and coughs a little. It isn´t really untrue what the other man says but Lee hasn´t even a chance to utter a response before Martin grasps his shoulders and tugs him down to eye level, staring straight into Lees slightly widened ones.   
“You are my friend, Pace. I am going old and gray by that but I do it rather willingly. “  
Lee just smiles at him and gives him a bone crushing hug, right as Richard walks in with James in tow, raising an eyebrow.  
“Should I be jealous?”  
He asks in a joking tone and Lee throws him a kiss making James shake his head and tug on Richards sleeve.  
“You don´t need to go to the hospital now , do you?”  
At that Richard just stares for a moment.   
“Well Andy says you two are lovesick. Well, his dad says that. It´s nothing serious is it?”  
Lee bites the inside of his cheek while making his way over to them, explaining just what that means because Richard is the one who is slightly flushed now after knowing full well what Martin and Lee had been talking about. There is a nervous twitch to his eye he can´t quite get under control but Lee doesn´t seem to mind.   
“Oh that is serious – but in a very good way, isn´t it?”  
He asks Richard after a while, amusement still heavy in his voice. Richard wonders when he will be let in on the joke or whatever secret they have but doesn´t dare to question it when he clears his throat.   
“The flowers arrived. And the cameras are ready to go.”  
He says and tries to look calmer than he feels not quite succeeding when Martin gives him a look that makes his hopes of sounding nonchalant shatter into a million tiny pieces.   
“Finally. I do hope this time everything is right.”  
They did get a discount for the wrongly delivered flowers but still, not the point. Clearing his throat Martin lets them know he still exists in their little world, making them both blush anew.   
“Oh, Martin before I forget it , you do own a tuxedo, don´t you?”  
It is said innocently enough but Lee knows how much Martin hates to put on a _monkey suit_ and how much he also hates that he has been waiting for Lee to ask him to be his best man, because anyone different would have been a wrong choice – not only in Martins mind, but Lee isn´t really someone talking about that anyhow.   
“Yep. And why would I need one?”  
He asks and Lee smile, exchanging a glance with Richard who is mildly curious as to what Lee will say and still remember that there is a child present.  
“Oh, nothing really. There is this wedding you know. Of two guys that make your blood pressure rise and one of them still needs a best man – the other has enlisted a grumpy Scot into the job. You up for that?”  
Martin just snorts.   
“Yeah yeah. Now move it, I got something in my eye – must be the weather, you know.”  
Lee says nothing, just grins and Richard looks far more pleased than he should, laughing all the way home when Lee tells him about the happenings of the day.


	113. Pre Wedding Stress and other things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the finish line, everybody has a little freakout

They pick up Richards parents at the airport on a cool but dry day with James in tow, warning them on the way to their house that there are a few people around. Well, a few people are twenty or so, decorating trying for the best shot of this and that room (Richard had a mild freakout and threw somebody out of the house whose name he doesn't quite remember as they had the nerve tsuggest to film them while waking up. ) Graham is also there while Luke goes over the contract the both of them have signed. Luke doesn't look to happy at a clause Lee appearently hasn't even bothered looking it and they both stare at it for a moment.  
"DvD? I never knew about-Graham!"  
Graham just winces a bit and tries to play for time, heaving a sigh while Richard is trying to navigate his parents around the house when he hears the tone of voice Lee speaks in. He doesn't like the tone at all because he knows what it usually means and he can't handle more stress. He simply doesn't want to have more stress and he wonders why on earth Graham is on the end on Lees wrath.  
"Well, it does remind me a bit of a zoo, to be quite honest."  
Richards father says and blinks as someone hands him a cup of coffee with the words _Oh boy, you will need this, darling_ before he makes his way into the kitchen were James, bless the boy - is quietly coloring and listening to music over headphones. A wry grin crosses his face and he takes James by the hand and out of the soon to become warzone that is nothing for childrens ears by looking at his son then at Lee and lastly at Graham who doesn't really know what the hell is going on.  
"I didn't put that in there, Evans -I swear."  
Oh Luke believes it when he sees the so called production manager break out into a sweat. It is settled in a matter of minutes and the guy gets told by Graham and Luke what exactly will come at him if he tries shit like that again -after that things calm down for the day and still Richards mother hasn't said anything. It makes Richard nervous to the point where he makes sure that she is really there.  
"Why do you do that when the two of you clearly are on the brink of going nuts?"  
She finally asks what is on her mind ever since she has gotten wind of all the craziness that has been shaking the household of her son and the man he is so clearly and deeply in love with. For a moment Richard says nothing because he simply can't think of all the reasons it is important to make a statement, to make a final stand - as stupid as that might sound. He feels the dull throbbing pain behind his forehead again but still says nothing and she just pinches his cheek.  
"I know, I know."  
She says, waltzing past him and he gives a rueful smile before bumping into Lee who has managed to evade the grasp of Lukes clutches.  
"Hey."  
He says and smiles, calmer than Richard has seen him in a while.  
"You know she does have a point."  
He whispers, looking around the house but he holds up both hands, grabbing Richards own.  
"Oh I know that it isn't really an option. Besides I always dreamt that someone would sweep me off my feet and pamper me."  
At that Richard snorts and cracks the first smile.  
"Tell you what. Once they are out of the house for the day why don't we grab everyone and go watch a movie with James?"  
He says and Richard smiles again for it is thd best idea he has heard all day, so it is what they will do.He is a bit on edge and has no doubt that Lee feels quite the same because he can see it in his eyes everytime he thinks nobody is looking directly at him, so Richard has to ask, drags him away for a moment and out into the garden.  
"Are you sure about this?"  
He doesn't know why he asks that again, why he has to reassure himself over and over again -it feels like bad karma or something, like a drawn out movie where the bad things happen when they are the happiest. Lee is quiet, the only sound Richard can focus on is his quiet breathing, even and calming. It reminds him of the time when James first got into his life, reminds him if how he was ready to jump of the first cliff offered to him. Oh, he never talks much about it but he knows that Lee knows and it kind of helps him to find his place of calm and quiet again when he fears of losing it. Without really noticing his fingers have reached into Lees shirt tracing scars were there shouldn't be any and gulps. Lee just smiles, stroking the hand that is gently tracing patterns on his skin.  
"I am sure. Terrified beyond any logical reason but, yeah. I never was more sure of anything in my life and it sort of scares me at how fast that all came to be but I am so very glad and okay with that it renders me speechless. "  
Richard says nothing but raises his eyebrows, thinking but not saying that Lee hardly ever is speechless, making the younger man blush.  
"Oh do shut up."  
He all but squeals and blushes some more before Richard tugs him close to him and gives him a kiss which leaves them both panting and breathless before Lee pushes him away for a moment and reminds him of their guests and plans for the evening, almost making him forget what those were  
"Ah, right."  
Richard says and Lee smirksm wriggles his eyebrows and gives chase into the house, picking up James on the way and whirling him around in circles until the boy squeals and shrieks in delight.   
"Hey, that isn't fair! No teaming up against the man of the house."  
His father who is munching away on a cracker just snorts loudly and his mother has the look of someone wanting to wield a spatula. He is glad that there isn't any nearby and just happy for now.


	114. A brief interlude of ghosts from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee figures something out

It is good going out as a family and without the press breathing down your neck. Richards mother had looked at them knowingly and waved them off after promising to look after the house and all but shoving them and James into a cab. Richard blinked and looked at Lee who in turn could hardly keep in his laughter at the resolute woman once again. Oh he loved her dearly and he would never say it, but Richard had grown up to be just like her in some ways – from what he knew. Still, his lips twitch even as he purchases popcorn and nachos for them , bumping into someone at the counter.  
“Oh, sorry.”  
He says without looking at whom he ran into until a pair of cold eyes looks at him. He nearly drops everything he holds in his hands but he feels to numb to say anything. It has been a while since he saw Clark Emerson and he doesn´t know why the man looks at him with something close to fear (The fear of god that Martin put into him back then without Lee knowing exactly what happened) but it is awkward.  
“Hey, what is taking you so long? Can´t decide what you want and bought the entire row of candy again?”  
Richard says from somewhere on his left but stops when he recognizes the man in front of Lee who still hasn´t said a single word. He just watches, his eyes blinking rapidly as if he can´t believe it either. It is some of those coincidences of life that it has to happen when they are alone with James in a public place trying to find some peace.   
“Oh no, I have decided what I want.”  
Lee says when the silence becomes too much and James stares at them all, not understanding what is going on. For that alone Lee is glad as he passes the popcorn off to Richard with shaking hands and ruffling James hair.  
“Tell you what, why don´t you try those nice gumball machines over there until Dad and I come and pick you up in a minute.”  
He tries for calm but his nerves are fluttering like a bird against his ribcage, making him nearly jump when Richard places a soft hand in the small of his back. That seems to pull Clark out of his stupor himself and he clears his throat.   
“No problem, you didn´t see me after all.”  
Is all he says and then he is on his way and Lee lets out a breath that he wasn´t aware of holding. Hell, he knew that the chances for running into someone you knew in a Cinema were slim but possible, so why did he have a minor freakout again?`Ah right, Clark Emerson had made his life hell and tried to blackmail him. He clenches his fists at his sides and it takes a moment for him to calm but he manages.   
“You okay?”  
Richard asks and he wants to cry about the fact that all of his emotions are visible on his face before he shakes his head and tries for a smile.   
“Yeah, I am – Come on, lets go and pick a movie.”  
He says instead even if the mood is ruined. He doesn´t want to let his past rule his future anymore, repeats that inside his head while James talks to him about all the gum he got out of the machine, showing him every ball with a bright smile that makes him smile in return again.   
“That´s great, buddy. Why don´t you pick a movie?”  
He tries so hard to keep from falling apart and being angry at himself that he takes another breath before picking James up and walking to purchase tickets for a movie that is suitable for children, not looking at Richard for the moment. Maybe he just fantasized that meeting he muses until they see him again. He isn´t alone, has his own family with him and suddenly Lee feels calm. He feels like he is floating with his head above the water and his body beneath. He isn´t drowning anymore, has his own family right with him and that is when he finally looks at Richard with a blinding smile and kisses him right on the lips.   
“Do you always need to do that?”  
James protests because he is a kid and children tend to find it gross when there parents kiss but Richard just shakes his head and reminds him that it is just what grown ups do with a wink and a smile.   
“What is that look for?”  
He wants to know from Lee who just shakes his head again to clear it, not wanting to get everything that is in out right now because some things are better left unsaid even if someone asks for them. He has learned that the hard way and while he knows that he can trust Richard he doesn´t want to ruin the evening by saying that he thinks he is a moron for ever seeing something in someone like Clark. A slight shudder runs through him at the mere thought of it but he dismisses it also.   
“Flowers. And Cakes. I was just thinking that we should let James be the judge how everything will be placed and not other people.”  
Richard just stares at him like as if he has grown a second head before he takes the tickets Lee has clutched in a death grip in his fist from him, handing them to the usher.   
“Funny- I thought you were thinking something else. Something along the lines how you want to punch the gits face in.”  
He says into his ear and Lee startles at the realization that this is the last thing on his mind and he tells Richard that and what really went through his head with a blush. Richard says nothing and smiles at Lee.   
“You say that he can go to hell?”  
The Englishman says and laugh when Lee grins toothily at him and tells him that he doesn´t care anymore and it feels right.


	115. The Night before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is the day before the big day -or the night. Our boys and their (almost) last thoughts as Singles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey:) So I hope you still enjoy and will follow the last few chapters to the finishline. Thank you afgain for all the support so far and a lovely Sunday :)

It is the night before the big day and oddly enough the entire house is quiet. There aren't people running around or setting up lights. There aren't sounds from the kitchen indicating that Richards mother is pottering around to ease her racing heart. Lee isn't thumping through his smartphone for the newest weather forcast and the chance of rain anymore. He is quiet and says nothing, already half asleep. In a few hours they will have to part, let the outside world in again and they are both grateful that there is nothing but silencd in the house even if there is a child sleepin two doors down. It is time to leave the past behind - for both of them. The heartbreaks and betrayals they both have faced. There should be only happiness from now on but they also both know that there will be demons they need to face. Luckily not alone anymore, a quiet voice in Richards head tells him while he goes through the steps of the wedding again, giving a little snort at his own tendency to make lists for everything in his head. A thing that drives Lee mad and he is startled to see that the other man next to him is also wide awake.  
"Can't sleep?"  
He asks with something close to amusement in his voice before asking if that has to something with the run in they had with Clark . Lee just snorts at that and shakes his head. Richard - surprised by the reaction and his own actually believes him.  
"You know I never thought I'll say that - but I am to busy thinking for wanting to have Sex. And the quiet kinda creeps me out a bit."  
Richard stared then laughed quietly against Lees neck.  
"What are you trying to say?That I am making an honest and decent man out of you?"  
Lee gasped in mock shock.  
"Never! "  
Richard just tittered, burrowing even closer to Lee and wrapping both arms around the younger man.  
"Thank god for that."  
He couldn't see it but Lee nodded against him and Lees hair tickled his nose.He wasn't about to complain about decent haircuts again because the last time he had done that Lee had just raised his eyebrows and reminded him that he hadn't been the One of them to run around with bright pink hair. Richard decided then and there to strangle his brother for giving away that tidbit of information, only to be shocked in the end that his normally reserved father had been the source. They got along very well but still had their differences about certain aspects of life. He didn't blame the man.  
"Getting another thing of that list in your head?"  
Lee smirked and Richard narrowed his eyes at him, rolling so that he lay on top.  
"Should it surprise me that you know that?"  
He asks fondly and Lee clacks his tongue.  
"In mere hours you are going to be my husband, of course I know such things."  
He whispers into Richards ear, all coy and flirty at the same time. Richard meanwhile tries to focus on other things. The rows of chairs in the garden, what people will say if there are any speeches planned. He has done his hardest to find out but not to any success. He can practically feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising when he lets his thoughts stray to what Aidan and Dean may have planned. Or Martin. A slight shudder runs through him before he tries to remember little details. From what he has seen so far it all looks more than lovely. And he was only able to take quick glances in the hectic pace that now seems far away and out of place. Lee speaks again, low tones in his ear that make him squirm a little bit and pinches his side vor getting lost in thought.  
"Ow, you tosser."  
Richard breathes with no real heat behind it and the American just laughs.  
"You do know that I meanwhile know what that means. Like shagging for instance."  
"Oh, I know that."  
He all but drawls, remembering the night he had taken to educate Lee in that matter.  
"Good "  
Lee says and giggles slightly.  
"You getting cold feet?"  
Richard has to bite back the reply that he has always cold feet and thinks that he is crazy - along a throng of other people but refrains from doing so if barely.  
"Just worrying you know. Like I always do. Its a actor thing."  
At that Lee just raises an eyebrow and moves until he lies on top of Richard, blinks with sparkling eyes and his ankles crossed.  
"Uh huh."  
Richard blushes and Lee captures him in a sweet kiss. Lee is also glad that everything is planned and set up, every guest either in their house or a nearby hotel. That the food is ordered and their tuxes are there even if he hasn't seen Richards (Lord knows he tried to sneak a peek but Richard is firm in some regard.)  
Richard yawns and it makes Lee do the same but not without a blush  
"Sleep?"  
Richard tries and Lee agrees. They will have a very long day come morning and morning will come soon enough.


	116. Getting Married - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the big day has arrived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, finally :D I do hope you will enjoy those last few chapters

When the morning comes Lee finds himself moving slowly out of bed and into the bathroom to calm his nerves and get ready before he puts on his tux. Richard and him have decided to get dressed in different rooms and he is thankful for that or else he would start to cry for so many reasons he starts to feel stupid.   
But on the other hand, who would blame him if he did? It is after all the day of his wedding and that is a reason you are allowed to bawl your eyes out without someone judging you for it. Not that any of their friends would do that - they probably would never live it down if there would be pictures of them with splotchy faces and sappy grins but Lee found that he could care less. They had talked through half the night already about everything and it had cost them sleep. He wondered for a moment what Richard was doing right now when he heard the telltale sounds of a razor and a string of muffled curses from the other bathroom that let him to the conclusion that the other man was doing the same thing as him.   
Since he got up he noticed that the quiet in the house has lessened a bit – thanks to the fact that Richards parents were up and about and Betsy had come over to help getting James not only into his tux but to calm down a little and not throw the rings (She had whacked Martin over the head for suggesting that to the boy)   
Otherwise it is still remotely quiet and he jumps when the bathroom door opens and Martin pokes his head in, gives him a look and raises both eyebrows.   
“You are still not dressed?”  
Well, practically, he is dressed - based loosely on the fact he has the pants on already and had a shower, shaved and now is wrestling with his dress shirt and the buttons on it. Martin just gives him another look and bats his hands away.   
“Hey!”  
Lee says without much heat behind it but Martin just grunts and buttons up his shirt because as much as Lee would like to deny it, his fingers are shaking and he wonders again how Richard is able to survive shaving if they are in the same state. Richard, unbeknownst to Lee – isn´t. He managed to cut himself three times until Graham practically wrenched the razor out of his grasp.   
“For Fucks sake, don´t cut your throat before you get hitched after all the bloody mess you put me through.”  
Graham, his source of calm and wisdom. He must have said that out loud because Graham has that look on his face that makes him look like a dog ready to attack. Not that he would put it past the other man, despite being his friend. Well, especially because he was his friend. The morning, for Richard too had been quite calm and peaceful until he had stared at his watch after Lee had left the bed (or give and take the half hour he had indulged in dozing off again) before he had all but jumped out the bed, managed to fall over his own shoes and nearly missing the top flight of the stairs, smacking – dressing in nothing but underwear, into Betsy and James.   
“Nice going, tiger.”  
She had said and then only he had looked down at what type of underwear he had been wearing making a mad dash for the bathroom. Oh god, he was never going to live that down, was he? Back in the present, he blinked.   
“What?”  
Graham just rolled his eyes, turning Richards head from left to right an examines his work, nodding when he is convinced that Richard will look nothing but dashing and making everybody drool which in turn makes Richard blush and mumble something that goes unnoticed by Graham – or at least the other man pretends that he isn´t hearing the insults thrown in his direction. Lee, meanwhile stares at Martin as if the other man has two heads.   
“Martin, this isn´t a military operation. It is a wedding, _my_ wedding.”  
Martin is not impressed, looking at the checklist he has clutched in his hands and rounds on Lee who is slipping into his jacket, trying not to fumble too much with the buttons of that because that would only ruin his dignity further. Or what is left of that anyways. With a heartfelt sigh he blinks and lets Martin continue.   
“Yes, I understand that and I – as your best man, have the duty to observe the proceedings that nothing goes to shit.”  
Lee just raises an eyebrow.  
“Spoken like a true gentleman I have to say-”  
He says and holds up his hands in surrender as Martin looks like him as if he is about to strike him with the clipboard he is holding in his hands. The picture itself would be worth taking a snapshot because Martin looks very much like a drill instructor and not like his best man. A well dressed drill instructor.  
“Good that you say that without sarcasm. Now where was I. Rings are with the kiddo, kiddo is with your charming friend , who hopefully will get a few of that old stories out later at dinner.”  
Lee pales a little at that.  
“Oh do not worry, Richards dad will do the same.”  
Richard just stares at Graham as he is filled in that there will be some story telling at dinner.   
“Excuse me?”  
Graham just grins wolfishly.   
“You are excused.”  
The garden fills with people, guests and press, all mingling about. There is already a buffet set up for them and there will – after the main act, so to speak, be a dinner for family and close friends, which doesn´t include any press. Lee had put down his foot on that matter early enough and Richard had agreed full heartily with a smirk on his face that wasn´t directed at Graham at all.   
“Well then?”  
Richard looked at his watch, remembered that the vows he had written down were still sitting on the bathroom sink and grabbed them, stuffed them in his pant pocket. He felt nervous when he opened the bathroom door, going a different route than Lee because he wasn´t ready to face the other man right now (crying his eyes out because he felt so damn happy)   
Lee took one last steadying breath, looked in the mirror one last time and was practically dragged away by Martin.   
“Come on.”


	117. Getting Married - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding , part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this story has come to an end and I can´t, really can´t say how much I loved every single comment and kudo, warm words and critical ones. It helped me a lot and was much fun. I never intended it to grow this large but - and I say that again - but - it was worth it for me in every single aspect. So thank you, thank you very much and hopefully until the next story with our favourite boys :)

It doesn´t rain. Despite the time of the year it is dry and slightly warm and Lee turns to Richard with a beaming smile and holds out his hand with only slightly misty eyes towards Richard who just stops and stares for a moment, hands shaking. He feels a bit like sucked into one of his own movies but this time he finally gets why the character he plays is so happy and terrified at the same time. Now he doesn´t play a character, he is himself and out of the corner of his eye he can see his mother holding up a camera and tissues at the same time, juggling them because she wants to take pictures of her son and look dashing at the same time. That makes him smile and he ignores the rest of the crowd of friends and family for a good while because he is focused on Lee who still has his hand outstretched. It takes him a moment to get into motion again before he takes it and he is kind of relieved that Lee also is shaking like a leaf.   
That should feel pathetic but it just feels wonderful for him and he ponders for a moment if that makes him a bad person but then Lee _squeezes_ his equally shaking hand and smiles even brighter which Richard hadn´t thought possible. There are whispers and murmurs how good they would look and even a few tears a shed by the time he presses his forehead against Lee to take a breath but he could care less about the world around them now if he is honest with himself.   
The registrar they have picked for the occasion (and boy had that been a feat because not everyone they had approached had wanted to marry them for different reasons and one of them was that there would be press. That had scared away most of them in the end, but not best to think about that now.)   
“Hey.” Lee says against Richards hairline and swallows against the lump of emotions clogging his windpipe, smiling watery at the man opposite him. It doesn´t help Richard at all but he doesn´t blame Lee and just leans in a bit closer.   
“Hey.”   
Richard breathes and there are _awws_ andohhs coming from somewhere behind them but still they stay focused on each other. The rest of the world can wait. Well, except Brian _God, please don´t call me Mr.Engelsbach, first of all you might twist your tongue and secondly – I am going to marry you to each other , so this should be more personal, shouldn´t it?”_   
“Ladies and Gentleman. If I may introduce myself – My name is Brian and we are gathered here for the wedding of Richard and Lee, who despite the busy and quite disastrous events of life have made it here and found their way to each other. Before we go on with the proceedings , however , the both of you have written down some vows you like to share with the rest of us?”  
They had talked about that long and hard and nearly called it off until Brian had just looked at them with the patience of a man who had been through many, many weddings and even more cases of cold feet. The decision to share the vows had been made – and not only because it had been such a pain to find the time to work on them without the other getting wind of that. That had been quite a pain if he remembered it but Richard quickly cast it aside and simply looked at Lee again , their hands still clutched.   
“Oh, Yes!”  
Lee exclaims all of a sudden making the guests laugh a bit at his fumbling. For a moment he has the vision of Richards mother smacking everyone who will misbehave in the next moments with a spatula that she carries in her purse before he blinks that image away and reaches into into the depths of his pockets for the piece of paper he had scribbled the vows on, much like the first guest list. It leads to more amused laughing when Martin swiftly claps him onto the back and hands him the sheet and he accepts with trembling hands. Where on earth are his nerves, he asks himself but just blinks and clears his vision once again before blinking at Richard from underneath his lashes and staring at his own handwriting, barely able to read it.   
Lip between his teeth he clears his throat, lets his gaze wander to their guests again and then looks hard on the carefully composed words.   
“Well, here we go.”  
He mutters to himself and clears his throat once again for good measure. Richard is patient, although he is practically bouncing on his feet and Graham just looks at him with that look that tells him to calm down.   
“Richard.”  
Lee breathes in a shaky voice and continues before he actually can burst into tears, now wouldn´t that be embarrassing. He tugs the paper away, grasps Richards hands again of which he had let go in search for the paper containing his vows.  
“I imagined this moment over and over – and I do think it gave me one or other gray hair on my head. As it did you.”  
There are murmurs again and Richard just smiles, nods.   
“And as you might know I ran around the house, made a fool out of myself – and I managed that quite often. Aside that, our lives have been a right roller coaster ride in the last few months which felt like years at some points.”  
His eyes are dark and forlorn , making Richard squeeze his hands a bit harder because he _knows_ what Lee is talking about.   
“However, you have always been there and come to think of that it all started because of me tripping over my own shoes and Jane Austen – that is quite a long way and many hurdles you helped me climb. I do hope I can give you back all of that and a little more in the future. And now..I bet-better..”  
And there come the tears he so manly had been holding back. In the audience someone sniffs and loudly blows his nose (If they would turn around , they would see that it is Aidan who will deny that under torture, but they don´t.)   
Richard simply leans in, kisses Lee for a long moment, a hand in his hair until he comes back to the here and now and steps back even though he doesn´t really want to.   
“Oh bloody hell.”  
Is the first thing Richard says before he can stop it and everyone around him titters for a moment. Richard isn´t good at that, really – he never was but he tires for Lee, for James – for them. He remembers for another dreadful moment how he nearly drove Martin mad in the search of books for something ..something he could say that would sum up what he felt. Instead he finds himself staring at a piece of paper, neatly folded and tugged in his tux pocket.   
“As you might know, aside from being an actor I tend to fail at expressing my emotions. Not only to you – but I´ve learned a lot in the last time. Thanks to you, thanks to us. I know we will make it through whatever life throws at us.”   
He says and stares at Lee, open and bright and Lee just gives a wet sob, nodding. It is good that someone like Brian is there who gently clears his throat.   
“That sounds like you almost don´t need me here, gentlemen but as we all know this is my job- and as charming as you are while gazing at each other like that it would be wonderful if you turn towards me for the main act so to speak.”  
Once again there is some laughter. It is good to know that this is a happy day, that everybody is in a good mood – even the much dreaded press is one of the thoughts running through Richards head as he absently wipes a tear from his cheek, does the same for Lee.   
“Do you, Richard Crispin Armitage take Lee Grinner Pace to your lawfully wedded husband, for better and for worse?”  
Now is the time James appears with Betsy, proudly holding up the pillow with the rings. Another wave of _aww_ and ohh erupts from the crowd and Richard takes the ring in his finger, glad that he doesn´t drop it.   
“Yes.”  
He says overly loud and blushes.  
“Good. Glad to hear that.”  
Brian says and turns to Lee who frantically wipes at his face, having given up on the last shreds of his dignity – well _fuck it_ he thinks and swallows again.   
“Do you Lee Grinner Pace, in turn take Richard Crispin Armitage as your lawfully wedded husband, for better and for worse?”  
Lee just nods, blushes and clears his throat.   
“Yes, I do.”  
He says in echoes through the garden , sounds final and real in his own ears for the first time so that he barely listens to Brian who just mildly smiles at them and starts to speak louder while they exchange the rings  
“Wonderful. So, with the power invested by me in the state of New York, I declare you you husband and husband. You may kiss your groom.”  
Brian says joyfully and Lee wastes no time at all in leaning forward as does Richard. The whole world narrows down to a pleasant white and cheers from behind them, rice raining down as they make their way through the crowd.   
Everything else on that day is in haze, a pleasant cloud that neither Lee or Richard are fully aware of, to consumed in each other. They make it through the dance and the dinner, but it is a sentence spoken by Richards mother that will probably remain with them for the rest of their lives.   
“Now, there are many books about love- but everyone has to write their own one, for its pages are blank at the beginning, waiting to be filled.”  
And that, they will do.

THE END


End file.
